{mind dump}

The mind of a pregnant woman is often weary, yet filled with a million and one thoughts. The mind of a pregnant woman whom works full time and has two children at home is often even more weary and filled with a million and two thoughts. I can't even begin to imagine what the mind of a pregnant women who does more than that has going on in her head. It's probably nutso, hehe! Oh, that's just me that is going crazy. Okay. 

I haven't done a blog post since January... since my Dopey Challenge. I will say that some days, said Challenge seems like it still just happened yesterday and not almost six months ago. Oh, to go back and re-live it. It is definitely something that will always rank in one of my top favorite memories and I was so happy to be able to share it with one of my closest friends. However, what I failed to realize before said trip was that it was going to leave both myself and Victoria with an itch for more. Far more. In the years to come I'm sure we will partake in some more awesome adventures to come. We even already have some lined up! Afterall, we have just learned that Disneyland Paris is having their first half marathon in 2016! I don't think that we will make it to Paris in 2016, but it is officially on both of our bucket lists to make it over there at some point for a race! We will. Want to bet on it?! Don't bet against us, you'll lose. 

For the time being, we'll settle on walking the Firecracker 5k on July 4th. This will be the third year in a row that we've participated in this event. We do it for the apple pie, it is SO good. We both ran it the last two years, but I'm in no shape to run right now. Could I run pregnant, absolutely, my doctor even okay'd it. Will I run pregnant, nope, because at the first sign of not feeling well, I stopped working out so my endurance is zilch right now.  

I don't anticipate starting to blog again regularly (at least right now), but lately I've just had a lot running through my head and I needed an outlet to get it out. Thus, this post. It hasn't necessarily been bad thoughts or negative thoughts, just thoughts, perspectives, life things, that I wanted to let flow through the fingers. Mostly about this current pregnancy. 

It was about a month after we got back from Disney that I found out we were expecting baby #3! It was quite the shock (and pardon me if I get a little too personal here), but I had an IUD so I assumed I was pretty well protected against any unwanted pregnancies. If you are close to me,you already know, if not, you will know now. I was very upset to find out this news. After Xander was born I wasn't sure I wanted anymore children, and if so, I knew it wasn't going to be anytime soon. I did not enjoy being pregnant at all. I mean, hello, were you around me at all during my last pregnancy, did you read any of my blog posts. I wished time away like none other and practically hated life for those nine months. Well, maybe hate is a strong word. Some women glow during pregnancy and absolutely love it. I am not one of them. Some women don't openly dwell on how crappy they feel. Once again, I am not one of them. If I feel like crap, that's what I'm going to tell you. Post Xander (because of course despite not liking being pregnant, the end results is nothing short of AMAZING!), I got my body back quickly. I got back into working out. I felt like me. It was quite honestly pretty great. New baby. Feeling like me again. Life was back on track. 

I will admit, I slacked with winter workouts before Disney, but I was still relatively happy with how my body looked and I was still feeling good. But, while at Disney my love for running got renewed and I craved those runs and working out again in a fierce way. I think because winter was so busy with putting the new house in order, Jay being gone for wrestling, etc etc etc, I didn't get a lot of time to focus on just me and while in Disney I knew I needed to get a little bit of that back. Because when mommy is feeling good, the rest of the house flows good. I got back and for a few weeks, hot damn I was hitting my groove! It was pretty great honestly! I felt great in my skin. I felt great emotionally. I was ready for life to settle back down after the holidays. And then bam, positive pregnancy test.  

At that point I was less than a year out from being pregnant the last time. I knew what my body and mind went through. I'm being honest in saying that I was being 100% selfish for not wanting to put myself through it again. Some women get post partum depression, I'd venture to say that I had a bit of seasonal affective disorder going on, along with maybe a hint of pre-partum depression. Not to mention that I was pretty sure Jay was even more done having children than I was. Thankfully my husband is amazing and was even more supportive about it than I could have ever hoped for. Dare I even say maybe slightly excited. Me, still not so much. I wasn't ready to give up feeling like me when I felt like I had just gotten me back. I go through some pretty bad self esteem issues while pregnant. I did all I could to hope that this pregnancy would be different than the last, but I'm not a dummy, I knew it wouldn't be. And I knew I had only a few short weeks, maybe even days, before I started to feel like crap again. Me and morning sickness do not get along. And I wasn't soon disappointed. I SO wanted to make this pregnancy different than the last with continuing to be active throughout it, but quite honestly, when you feel like throwing up all day long for the first several weeks (and actually do so quite often), you lose your mojo very fast. Or at least I did. 

Almost 23 weeks into this pregnancy now, I can look back to those beginning weeks and just smile. I didn't enjoy them any more than I did with Xander. They maybe seemed to go a little faster this time around because I had a baby at home to now tend to and I was working full time and I got some anti nausea medication ahead of the game, but it only helped a bit. I am officially over halfway through cooking this little babe (whom we found out is another little boy). I can say that most days I feel about as good as I'm going to for being pregnant. Am I enjoying it at all, mostly no. Once again, being 100% honest in saying that I prefer keeping my body to myself and not growing a human being. However, that being said, I do know that God's plans are always bigger than our own and that this little fella was supposed to come into our lives at this time and I could not be more excited about him. Time is truly a vapor and these last few months are bound to fly by if the first half of this pregnancy was any indication. And before I know it, I'll be snuggling my own little baby instead of my cousins or my friends or my other friends. (I also think it helps that so many people around me are also pregnant at the same time and/or just had or are going to have babies soon.)  

It is honestly a true miracle at how life forms and I often find myself just sitting in awe at the fact that I have a tiny little baby growing in my belly right now that I am nurturing. Plus, lets be real (again), feeling those baby kicks now, yeah, it's pretty cool. Do I enjoy being pregnant, absolutely not. Do I revel in the fact that I am able to be pregnant and grow a human, of course! It's quite odd how I think about it, isn't it? I hate how it makes me physically feel and look, but I am in love with the little kicks and jabs that I am constantly feeling at this point. I am in love with the fact that we are adding another little one to our family in the coming months. 

So, I will sit here and get through each day. It brings me one day closer to meeting this little guy and introducing him to this awesome world we live in. And post baby, I'll work my ass off again to get back into shape. Quite literally, I'm going to have to work my ass off because damn, whatever I eat these days has decided to take its rightful place on my thighs and gluteus maximus! Haha! I think I'm also worried about how fast the weight will come off this time. Everyone keeps telling me... oh you dropped it so quickly with Xander, it'll happen again, don't worry. Yes, I'll admit, I did drop it fast with Xander. But I also did put some work into it. More kiddos. Two young kiddos. Makes it harder to find time. Not impossible, but no time is just an excuse. But still, I am worried about that. And yes, I know that the scale is not the driving force and it's just a number and yadda yadda yadda. I just want to feel good in my skin. And during pregnancy, I don't. Plain and simple.  

I was looking back through some old pictures the other day and realized that it has been just over three years since I started running. Just over two years since I ran my first half marathon. And of those three years, I've spent one of them pregnant and not working out. That has been the biggest struggle for me. And it is all of my own doing. Thus far, this pregnancy has been more active than my last. It has to be... because I have a one year old that I'm constantly chasing around. Also, we are in a different season of the year. When I was pregnant with Xander we had super crappy and super cold weather. I dislike winter very much so and spent all of it cooped up in the house not active... like AT ALL! This time because we have had such a relatively nice spring, I have wanted to be outside a ton already. I love being outside. I love being active. I've been trying to walk more. Victoria and I can often be found together on a weekly walk catching up. (I should try some swimming too because I've heard that that is really good for pregnant women.) Xander loves to be outside as well, so we are often going on walks and here and there my lovely Ayden will join us. I do have to say that I've found I become a little more sore a little more frequently/faster than I did with Xander. I'm still able to get up and down from the floor pretty easily, but I'm sure that that will come to an end here soon. 

I also have to say that one of the things that has helped me this pregnancy is going through it with another best friend of mine. Niki and I have been friends since grade school and like most friendships have had our ups and downs. Throughout it all, we've managed to stick together, but recently finding out that we were pregnant at the same time really brought us back to a place that I didn't think we'd ever be at again. We are due within a week of each other, so many of the symptoms that I am going through, she is experiencing as well. I often tell her that I feel like I'm jading pregnancy for her because she wanted it so bad and I'm all over here complaining about every step of the way, lol! But quite honestly, she gets what I'm going through at the very moment that I'm going through it. But really, it has brought us closer again and for that I am thankful!  

Despite the fact that I am almost 29 (and will forever stop aging this year), there are still days where I sit back and think about where I've been and where I've come from. Look at me writing that like I've been through something awful or profound in my short life. Haha! Not the case at all. There was a turning point though however when I stood in my best friends bathroom (that'd be Niki again) over 11 years ago staring at a positive pregnancy test at the age of 17. My life forever changed in the less than three minutes it took for that second line to appear and it's been changing ever since. I've said it a million and one times and I'll say it a million and one more times... if ever given the chance to go back and change anything, I'd never do it. I'm here today because I'm supposed to be here. But there are still just some days where I'm pulling into the garage after a long day of work and think, wow, I never thought in a million years I'd be where I am now. 

The light at the end of the tunnel was always that, just a light. I never thought I'd make it to the end of the tunnel, much less through it and then continue on past it. And now, I've been gainfully employed for over two years (at the same place for three). I'm finally married to my high school sweetheart. We have two amazing boys with another one on the way. We own a house. I've bought my first vehicle without the help of my parents. We have a dog and a cat. All that is missing is the white picket fence. And let's be honest, I don't need a fence, my yard is perfect without one! And really, who wants a white picket fence? I'd much rather have the lawn speckled with dog poop that I do have. Okay, just joking about wanting the dog poop, but we sure have enough of it to go around. 

Seriously though, I am just in awe at how amazingly blessed we have been so far in our short span of life. I know that being a parent isn't an end all be all for everyone and know plenty of people who have not had children for one reason or another and it works for them. What I do know is that for our family, for me, being a mother, a parent, it trumps everything. I look at my kiddos and just marvel that I was chosen to be their parent. To give them life and nurture them. And the one that I'm currently 'growing'. 

At least I can joke about it with Jay now... we did this one right. Married. Own a house. Good jobs. Lol! Oops, pregnant at 17. Love that Ayden of mine. Oops, lets try for a baby before our wedding knowing it could take awhile. Fertile Mrytle. First month got that positive. Pregnant for the wedding. What's the saying... new house, new baby?! Haha! Bring it on Baby Boy #3! We cannot wait to meet you... well, stay put for another 15ish weeks!

Dopey Challenge: Full Marathon

2:45am and our phone alarms started going off. 2 freaking 45am! I wasn’t super exhausted because we had gone to bed around 7pm the night before and I actually slept pretty well, but I certainly wasn’t in the mood to be awake at the time of the day. It was marathon day. The culmination of it all! The hard work started now. And by hard work, I mean keeping my eyes open!

Enter in a repeat of the other mornings. Get dressed. Taxi to Epcot. Long ass walk to starting corral. Long ass wait to start. By this point though we had gotten smart and just found a spot on the ground and sat out the wait until it was our turn to start.

Before we knew it, the fireworks were going off and I was pressing the ‘run’ button on my Garmin and we were off! The first part of the course was a repeat from the previous day. Victoria’s foot was feeling better after she had popped the blister the night before, but it wasn’t long before her knee started to give her even more trouble. She did good keeping up with me for the first couple of miles, but I could tell just shy of mile 5 that I was starting to pull away from her. We sort of have this unspoken rule where it is kind of okay to do that. I think we both know that there comes a point where we both have our own paces to go at and we just go. I felt bad leaving her behind and I know she felt bad slowing me down and so we separated. I knew at that point the rest of the marathon was going to be hard for both of us. What I didn't realize was just how hard. 

I didn’t have my ipod along for music (I did bring my headphones) and because I was no longer with Victoria, I was afraid of using too much phone juice listening to music and have my phone die before the end because I knew I would need it to get ahold of where Victoria was at the end so we could meet up. Thankfully my new iphone battery is super and lasts WAY longer than my Galaxy ever did. By mile 5, I had texted Jay and told him that he needed to text me every so often with encouraging words so that I would keep going. And he did great with that and it helped way more than I think he knows.

I did a little bit of interval running after mile 6, but only for about 2-3 miles. I made it to mile 13.1 before I started to have really negative thoughts about finishing. My pace was about the same the day before, but I knew I had another 13.1 miles to go. I texted Victoria at that point to see where she was and how she was doing and I heard back from her around mile 15. She was about a mile behind me, almost at mile 14 at a medic tent. She was having serious pain with every step and unfortunately the medics highly recommended that she not continue with the race. She was still making good time, but was in too much pain. As bummed as I am for her for not being able to finish, I’m glad that she followed their recommendation. I would have hated for something more serious to have happened and for her to be out of the running game for even longer. I need my running partner to heal fast!

By mile 16 I had almost had enough. I had another 10.2 miles to go and didn't think I could do it. At this point I knew Victoria was done and thought, it’d be so easy to stop at one of the many medic tents myself and just call it quits. Every part of me ached and I didn't want to take another step forward. Thankfully I was always surrounded by people. I tried to listen to one of my radio apps on my phone and it worked for about 10 minutes, but then it would get locked in the ‘buffering’ step and wouldn't work. So much for any music.

I had come and gone through Magic Kingdom at this point, as well as Animal Kingdom and around mile 17 we were headed into the ESPN Wide World of Sports Center and we passed those coming out of it around mile 21. I was totally bummed that they were so far ahead of us going in, but I kept trucking forward. I had water or powerade at every stop they had. I fueled with my Sport Beans, bananas, and even chocolate that they handed out, but I was starting to get hungry. After all, it was probably close to 10am and I hadn't eaten anything except half a bagel with peanut butter since 3am.

My pace continued to slow and by mile 20 I was consistently slower than the 16 min/mile pace that was required (but not by much). Prior to starting the race, I thought that individually you had to have a pace less than that for all of the races to qualify for your Dopey medals, but as it turns out, you just had to be faster than the two ‘balloon ladies’ in the last corral. We had started in the second to last corral so I knew I had a few minutes on them. At mile 20, my only thoughts were, just keep going, just finish, don’t get ‘swept’ off the course because you are too slow. Even if you don’t stay faster than 16 min/mile and don’t get your Dopey medals, at least you’ll have finished.

There was a lot of chatter going on around me regarding pace and finishing and medals and being swept and finally someone had heard that the race people did their last ‘hard sweep’ at mile 24 and that if you made it past that and were still ahead of the balloon ladies, you’d be able to finish and would get all your medals. All I needed to do was make it to mile 24. Easier said than done. I was dying. I wanted to quit SO bad. But, I had come so far. I couldn’t give up.

I made it to mile 24, no balloon ladies in front of me. Didn’t get swept. Now all I had to do was finish. Hot damn, I still had 2.2 miles to go and it didn't help that by this point my Garmin was off and was reading that I was about a quarter mile farther than I really was. Between mile 24 and 25 the balloon ladies did end up passing me. I didn’t care anymore. I didn’t even try to keep up with their pace. All sights were set on just getting to that finish line.

And there it was. The end/finish line was the same for all of the races so I knew when we were getting really close. All of a sudden it was just around the corner. The thing I had been wishing for for the last 13.1 miles. I rounded the corner and saw it. Each step forward brought me closer and closer. I just kept moving. Of course I had to run the last bit across and I did. I crossed the finish line and it hit me. I just finished a freaking full marathon. I didn’t burst out into tears or anything obscene, haha, but I did get very emotional. I got my medal for the marathon and slowly made my way towards the tent for the Goofy and Dopey medals. I got verified, got those medals. Took some more pictures and then found Victoria and quickly found a place to sit down. I plopped right down in the middle of a bunch of other people plopping right down. Right on the parking lot asphalt. 

Then it really hit me and I got even more emotional and then I almost did start to cry. I came, I saw, I conquered.

Best part of all, by the time I finished the marathon the sun was out and it was warm! Like sandal and shorts and tank top warm! Throughout the previous 7 hours I had gone from cold and shivering to warm, to cold and wet (thank you rain) to warm and wet, to just plain warm sunshine!

I slowly managed to get my shoes off and what awaited me was some full on ugly runner feet, haha! Can we say blisters galore!

Victoria and I managed a few more photo ops before very slowly making our way back to the taxi lot and back to the hotel where the rest of the day was promptly spent with this amazing thing called biofreeze and my wonderful compression socks and my bed.

Will I ever do another marathon? I don't know... but for now...

I came. I saw. I conquered. I finished the Dopey Challenge. 

4 races. 4 days. 4 parks. 48.6 FREAKING MILES!

CIAO! LOVE ME!

Dopey Challenge: 10k and Half Marathon

The weather on Friday was supposed to be a little warmer than Thursday and true to the weather person’s word (as if they are ever really that correct on the weather) it was, although quite honestly, it didn’t feel like it, haha! Victoria and I had another super early wake up call, jumped in the van taxi thing, and made our way over to Epcot for the second of our four day event. After some more obscene amount of time waiting, the 10k started! Wait, did I mention that to even get to our race corral we had to walk probably close to a mile. And the people, oh the people! 

The 10k was much the same as the 5k, only twice as long. Once again, we walked quite a bit of it. This time we were on the ‘open road’ more than in the park because we had longer to go. The open road part was slightly boring because there wasn’t much to look at. We talked. We always talk. We talked about being cold, oh wait, maybe that was just me complaining. Actually, by the time we hit mile 4 I had warmed up enough to be comfortable. Once again I was wearing many many layers, but at least I was no longer cold. We did do a few running intervals here and there, but mostly just took it at a nice and easy speed walking pace. 

We finished. Got our medals. Took more race selfies and then headed into Magic Kingdom for a few hours. I’ve been to Walt Disney World before. Once with the high school band and once with my mom and siblings. Both times were enjoyable. Because the weather was not super warm out (again), I don’t think I quite enjoyed myself as much as the previous times. Don’t get me wrong, I still had a good time, but I was cold. And it also rained a bit. Victoria and I went on a fair amount of rides and wore our bling around the park. Let me tell you, it didn’t get old hearing ‘congratulations’ from the park workers as we walked around. A lot of runners wore their bling actually. 

After a couple of hours at the park we decided it was best to head back to the hotel to rest up for the following day’s races. Afterall, we weren’t even halfway done with our mileage for the four days. Let’s just say, overall we spent a lot of time resting in either the hot tub or our beds, especially after the half and the full. 

Saturday morning started early for us again. We were becoming pros at getting to Epcot. Thankfully we had the same driver each day who knew exactly where to take us and exactly how to get there. Only this time, after we finished our almost mile walk to the race participant entrance, we had yet another half mile to three quarter mile walk to our race corral. They had moved the start of the half marathon and marathon to a different location, so basically before we even started the half marathon we had already almost walked two miles. Yeah, that sucked. But at least it wasn’t quite as cold as the previous two days. Still, I was bundled up yet again. 

It was almost an hour after the start of the half marathon before our corral got to start, but the excitement was still there. Quite honestly, I think the half marathon distance has become my favorite. And I never thought I would say that. There was no running (that I remember at least) during the half marathon from myself or Victoria. That was okay. We were saving ourselves. I had my Garmin on (which I had for the other two races as well) and I kept us on point throughout it. I think Victoria may have gotten sick of me saying that we needed to keep pace because nearing the end of this race she started to form a blister on the bottom of her foot and the back of her knee had started to bother her. I wasn’t in any extreme pain, but did have some shin irritation. I warmed up enough by about mile 10 to take off one of my layers of clothing. That was a plus, haha! 

We finished the race is just under three and a half hours and then waited for the free shuttle back to our hotel. During said wait time, we ate our snack boxes, rested our legs, and enjoyed some sunshine that was peeking through the clouds. It was after the half marathon where I really started to wonder if we’d be able to finish the marathon. 13.1 miles is a long distance and I was tired by the end of the race. Not exhausted, but I knew the following day that I’d have to go another 13.1 miles and I didn’t know if I could. I also knew that Victoria was hurting after the half and was concerned about her as well. But, we didn’t sign up for the Dopey Challenge thinking it was going to be a walk in the park. Oh wait; it was a walk in four parks, hardee har har! In all honesty, I doubted myself.

Back at the hotel we ended up in the hot tub again for some relaxation. We ran into another runner who was experienced in the marathon world and he gave us a bunch of good tips and tricks. He also said it was going to be hard and our head was going to try and play games with us. Stay ahead of the mental thoughts he said, be the bad ass and finish. 

After a carbo loading session for supper, we went to bed early again because Sunday held our earliest wakeup call yet!

CIAO! LOVE ME!

Dopey Challenge: The Before

If you’ve visited my Facebook page at all in the last two weeks you know just how excited I was to leave for Florida, just how sick everyone around me seemed to be getting and the fact that I was going to participate in something called the Dopey Challenge at Walt Disney World. By now you also know how said challenge went and have seen probably WAY more than your fair share of pictures about said adventure. I had every intention of just journaling about the experience instead of blogging about it… just writing down my thoughts for me and me alone to see, but then I thought that it might be fun to share the details with everyone who’s supported me along the way. That, and quite honestly, typing things out goes A LOT faster than hand writing it. Just another reason to blog, right?! I know, I’m just so logical these days.

And with that I decided that although I haven’t blogged in months (we have a little tiny man named Alexander to thank for that), I’d blog about this. I can’t say that I’ll be back blogging regularly again, but maybe this is the kick that I need to get that started up again. In any case, it is a place for me to share all about this experience with you all (whoever that may be).

This all started just over a year ago when Victoria somehow happened upon a picture of someone who recently completed the first Dopey Challenge. Said person (whoever he is) had six medals hanging around his neck from one four day event. She said we needed to get these medals for ourselves. You see, we are ALL ABOUT ALL THE BLING! Bring on the bling baby, bring it on! If we rewind about eight months before that, I had just finished my first half marathon in April 2013 and had told Jay that I would never run a marathon. Said Dopey Challenge included a marathon and I didn’t give it a second thought when I told Victoria that of course we were going to take on the challenge. In April of 2014, shortly after I had given birth to Xander, we found ourselves registering for the second Walt Disney World Dopey Challenge promptly when registration opened. A few hundred dollars later, yes, it was EXPENSIVE, we were in! Come hell or high water, in January 2015 we were headed to Florida!

Training began in late May 2015 and I couldn’t wait to get back into running shape. Despite my best efforts and/or thoughts, I did not work out during my pregnancy. I craved getting back into it and during the summer of 2014, both Victoria and I did well with our training. We both participated in the August 2014 Cheesehead half marathon and did well. It was my second and Victoria’s first. I cannot tell you how proud I was of her for completing that. It was not long before that when she thought she’d never be able to complete a half marathon and here we are and she’s now done THREE (plus half of the marathon)! That’s right girlfriend, I’m writing directly to you right now… YOU ARE AMAZING! Never forget that! It wasn’t long after that race however; that things kind of derailed on my end as far as training goes.

I could use the excuse that life got in the way. Jay and I started house hunting. Ayden started school again. We bought a house and moved. Victoria and I signed up for and ran the Cliff Runner half marathon in October 2014 and it sucked on my part. It was a hard run, and quite honestly, I didn’t run much of it. It was a trail run and the terrain was kind of sketchy, so I had to be careful on parts, but I didn’t finish it well at all. It took me way longer than I had wanted to. The hardest part was how I felt after the run. I ended up spending the rest of the day after the Cliff Runner in bed with a stomach ache or throwing up. No good. Unfortunately, by October, the longest I had run was my half back in August. I was on the totally right track for my upcoming marathon… or not.

I was WAY behind on my training by October and every attempt to get back on the wagon failed. I was letting myself down and had no one to blame but me.

Before I go any further, I should explain that the Dopey Challenge is a four day event that consisted of a 5k (3.1 miles), 10k (6.2 miles), a half marathon (13.1 miles), and a full marathon (26.2 miles) for a total of 48.6 miles in four days. Requirements for the event included keeping a 16 min/mile pace. If you know anything about pace, that’s not superfast, well, at least I didn’t think so. Even without keeping up on what I should have been for training, I was really only worried about finishing the marathon at that pace. And from what I discovered, my worries weren’t for nothing.

Almost everyone that I explained the Dopey Challenge to before I left for Florida thought I was crazy for wanting to complete said event and quite honestly, a LOT of people didn’t think it was even possible. They’d call me nuts, but wish me the best. I’d lie and say training was going well, when in all honesty, training wasn’t even going… AT ALL! With everything else that was going on in life, I lost my zest for running. I didn’t even want to. I had gotten new running shoes and they stayed almost pristine in my closet. My eating habits went to hell. I was maintaining my weight, but I could tell I was losing my fitness. Each day brought me closer to leaving for Florida and each day brought me more worries about actually finishing this event. I wasn’t worried about not completing it for me, but not completing it for everyone that I told I was doing it and having them say, told you so! I was beginning to truly think I wasn’t going to be able to finish. As you probably already know, I did. I finished, but not in the way I wanted to. Given the opportunity to do it over, I’d do things differently beforehand.

And, as I sit here and type this, I realize me saying that I didn’t finish the way I wanted to, it makes me sound kind of stupid. Because, um, hello, I did do something pretty awesome. Can’t that just be enough?! You do realize the person behind the keyboard was born with some slight hint of needing to be a perfectionist with things, right? It isn’t enough for me to just have completed it because I know I could have done better. But, I won’t let those feelings completely overtake the fact that the feat was overcome.

Stay tuned for a recap on the 5k, 10k, half marathon, and full marathon!

CIAO! LOVE ME!

{scared}

*I’m finding it harder and harder to blog these days. First, finding time when there are already not enough hours in the day is hard, especially since I’m in bed almost right after Xander because I am SO tired. And even though I have lots of thoughts rolling around in my head, when I do find the occasional spare minute to sit down and write, nothing comes out, or at least not the way I want it to.*

Today marks 193 days until I do one of the craziest things that I will probably ever do in my life. In October 2012 I ran my first ever official 5k run. It was shortly after that race that my best friend, Victoria (whom I talk about on here often), decided to start running and we set out to run in a race every month for a year. We did pretty good with our goal! It was also shortly after my first 5k that I thought maybe one day I’d like to run a half marathon and set out to train for that. In April 2013 I completed my first ever half marathon and crushed my goal by about 10 minutes! I couldn’t believe it. It was after that half marathon that my hubby told me that I should run a marathon now. I gave him the evil eye and said NEVER! I had no ambition to run a marathon what so ever. I liked the 13.1 distance just enough to possibly consider another half marathon… possibly.

In late summer 2013 I found out I was pregnant and my gumption for another half marathon anytime soon dwindled away, but I had hopes of doing another one at some point. Then Victoria found the Dopey Challenge (of which I’ve blogged about before) and we knew that there was no turning back. We are officially crazy, but yes, we’ve always been this way together! Um, seriously, who else would I join forces with and wear a picture of some random guy I found in a magazine taped to my shirt every Friday while in high school. Hello, HOT GUY FRIDAY was a must, haha!

So, in 193 days the Walt Disney World Marathon weekend begins and I cannot wait! I am scared shitless about the prospect of running my first ever marathon the day after completing a half marathon, which is the day after running a 10k, which is the day after running a 5k. I am not scared about the 5k or the 10k or even the first half of the half marathon. I KNOW I will be able to complete those because I have before. And honestly, my only goal for the marathon is to finish it. I do not have plans to run the entire thing. I just want to FINISH! But seriously, 26.2 miles is daunting. Especially since at this point, almost one full month into training, my further distance has only been a 5k. I blame part of that on the 1 ½ week break I had to take because of a stomach virus that I had that caused anything I ate to literally go right through me which halted any running or working out for a bit. Ugh!

I am making progress though, that much I know. On May 26^th I participated in my first 5k post baby that I was planning on running in and finished it in just under 45 minutes. On June 26^th (last night) I ran a 5k in just under 37 minutes! Progress (not perfection)! Very proud of myself. Further, from May 1 until today I have lost 6.9% of my body weight! Hells yeah, I am officially back down to pre-baby weight! I still have some toning that I need to do, especially with my abs (darn you stomach muscles), but I am feeling SO much better (and most of my clothes fit again)!

I donned a swimsuit for the first time this past week in almost a year and went swimming with Ayden. It was great! Okay, so I still may not love my body in a swimsuit, but we had a lot of fun in the pool and I remembered my love of swimming! It is such a good workout and very relaxing at the same time. Yes, I just said that a workout can be relaxing, haha!

This week also ends my first month back at work and it has gone well. I’ve survived, the kids have survived, my house has survived, the hubs has survived. It’s all good (most of the time). My biggest problem is feeling like there are enough hours in the day, although I know that a lot of people struggle with this. Also, I don’t know why I didn’t realize this before now, but Jay gets to spend more time with the kids than I do and I am slightly jealous of that fact. I do get the awake time with them in the morning while we are all getting ready for the day so it kind of evens out on the days that Jay doesn’t get home until 3ish, but still. This momma likes her kiddo time, hehe! Anyways, it works for us and Jay is a great hands on father. I mean, I already knew that with Ayden, but he wasn’t around 24/7 when Ayden was a baby simply because we didn’t live together that first year. That doesn’t mean he wasn’t around at all or that he didn’t help, but I was without help most nights after 7pm. Granted, typically when I get home I take on baby duty since Jay has already been home for a few hours and because I’m kind of craving it, but it does help to also have him around when I do need a break. For example, like last night when Xander got up at 2am and this momma was tired… daddy took that feeding. Generally I do most night feedings, with Jay doing one (sometimes two) during a week and that is okay with me because he doesn’t complain.

I refuse to believe that next week we start July. The summer is already flying by and it seems like it has just started. Ugh!

CIAO! LOVE ME!