Slackage over?!

Jackers... major slackage on my part lately. Sorry... I've just been doing a bit of relaxing. We've been so busy these past couple of weeks and will continue to be until the beginning of September so I'm trying to soak up what down time we have. I've also been thinking a lot. Me think? Yeah, I know, doesn't happen all that often, but when it does it's some serious stuff. Lol! No, but seriously, I've been thinking about a lot of things and re-evaluating my life. This happens every now and then. It's all a part of life, eh?

Today was a pretty decent day. I was meaning to get the laundry done as I am going to have to pack for Ayden for next week, but I didn't get the far. I did manage to get the kitchen closet back to some sort of organization and the kitchen table clean again. Mostly just moving the stuff from the table to other spots in the house. Ayden's room really needs to get cleaned again, but who knows when that will happen. Probably tomorrow or Friday when I am packing for him. Ayden and I both took a nap today. I have just been so tired lately. I only slept for about a half hour, but Ayden took a good nap. After he got up we played for a little bit and then Jay got home from work.

Actually, before nap time Jay called me and asked if I had any plans for tonight. I didn't and then he suggested that maybe we have a picnic and then go fishing. I was surprised that he would even want to do something like that, but happy as well. So, he got home from work and we got some stuff together and headed to Subway (the main course of our supper because we don't have any meat or bread at home) and then off to the river. We had our subs, chips, and drinks and then did some fishing. Ayden started off fishing and then quickly fell into the water. Thankfully the river that we were at was very shallow and that only led him to want to go in further. I resigned and him waid in with his sandles on until he started playing with the mud, that was it. While he was in the water, Jay and I took over the fishing part. We didn't get anything and after trying three different spots on the river I only ended up with a couple of bites, but no fish! Ayden was very well behaved for not fishing most of the time (although we only fished for maybe an hour, maybe a little less) and then we headed home.

Ayden has recently started taking showers. Yes, you read that right! My little guy, who used to love taking baths progressed from long soapy sudsy baths to just wanting quick wash offs to taking a shower all by himself. Okay, so I shouldn't say that it's exactly by himself. He is in the shower/tub by himself, but Jay or I are standing right outside watching him and helping with the soap and/or shampoo if he needs it. Just one more thing that he doesn't need my help with and it's only going to continue like this. But I'm honestly surprised because he used to not like water on his face or in his eyes and now he stands with his face in the water. It's crazy!

He also played his computer game that he got from my Dad for his birthday today. Mr. Independent didn't need my help with anything, nor did he want it. I think that he is really going to enjoy that game. It is actually the same game that we had checked out at the library a couple of months ago, but of course had to take it back, only this one has three more cds with it. It is the advanced game, so Ayden already knew the concept of it. He also is using his VSmile Pocket now too which is good. He's played it a few times in the car on the way to the store and daycare which is kind of what we had gotten it for. Well actually we got it for the long rides home, but the short ones work just as well.

Diesel (our cat) got outside on me this morning. I really thought that I was going to have a hard time catching him and getting him back in the house, not to mention that it was just about time for us to leave for daycare and work. But thankfully he didn't run off on me and I quickly caught him and hauled him back into the house. Ayden and I had a little talk about how we need to watch more carefully when we are going outside by the screen door.

Last night Jay and I layed in bed and watched the Olympics together. It was kind of nice to just lay and cuddle with him for a while, even if we were watching something that I wasn't totally into. We were watching the synchronized diving and it was pretty cool. I watched a bit of the swimming today, but that was only when one of my other shows was on a commercial. I hate commercials and can't stand them. I am a self proclaimed channel changer (if I haven't already mentioned that).

This week I got a huge project to work on at work. It's going through some excel file and deleting a bunch of names and weeding it out for some project that my bosses are going to be working on. To give you some sort of idea as to how big this file is... there are over 3000 names that I need to weed through. I am about 1/3 of the way through it and I've been working on it for almost two days now. Of course that two days only means a little over 5 hours because that's about as much as I've worked in the past two days.

That's it for now... CIAO! LOVE ME!

Blah blah blah... and more blah!

I finally have a minute to sit down and blog... FINALLY! I haven't even had much time to catch up on the blogs that I usually read on a daily basis. So after I'm done with my book of events that occured over the last four days, I will need to catch up on some good reading. Funny how I can find joy in the lives of others, right? They let me know that I am not alone in this place they call a world because sometimes I feel like I am...

Okay, so when was the last time I entertained you with the events that I call MY life? I'm thinking it was Wednesday before the dreaded GRE. I will oh so joyously pick up from there and boy do I have a lot to dish. I slept pretty well Wednesday night considering I would be taking this mega important test the next day. I got up and got ready for the test and was nervous as all get out. I tried to eat, managed a small bowl of cereal down and thankfully that is where it stayed. I thought I might throw it up, yes I was that nervous, but I didn't. I arrived at the testing site at 8am (parked in a parking lot to which I did not have a permit, praying I did not come out four hours later to see a ticket on my window or worse yet, my car towed) and proceeded to get ready for the test. Needed to sign a few documents before the testing got started and viola here begins the test. The two essays were first which was good and bad. I was glad to get them over with, but didn't want to have to use my brain that much right off the bat. I was lucky and think I got two pretty easy essay questions and think I did fairly well on them. Probably not a 6/6, but hopefully at least a 4/6 on both. I could deal with that. I was kind of bummed because I got done with the essays early, but could not proceed to the next sections of the test until the time ran out on the essays. So I probably sat for 15 minutes reading and rereading my essays to make sure everything was perfectly the way I wanted it and finally the time was up.

Next came the math part which I did way good on and then the verbal part of which I did the same as my practice tests. But wait... I thought I was done after that... nope! Then came ANOTHER math part!!! I couldn't believe it! I was all brained out and I had yet another whole section to do?! And because I didn't know if this was the actual test or just the research part I had to do good on it no matter what. In the end my score was ten points below what I had strived for. I haven't yet competely decided if I am going to retake the exam. I am going to talk to my professors and see what they suggest and go from there. I would like to not retake it. First for my sanity and secondly because it costs $140. If I decided to retake it, it would not be until after school starts because you are only allowed to take it once a month. After the test I went to work for a little while just to get my brain off of it and after work I crashed on the couch. I seriously could not do anything, not even clean! Jay was the sweetest boyfriend and had made reservations for us at a restaurant that we have been wanting to eat at since we moved here three years ago but haven't, however I had him cancel those because we didn't have the money for that kind of food at this point. Instead we sat at home both too lazy to make anything and finally decided to still go out to eat, only way cheaper at Arby's. But I LOVE Arby's and it was so yummy! It was also nice to just get out. I wasn't of much use that night. I even tried to start a new book, but I just could not get into it.

So that was Thursday... Friday was busy as well. Oh wait, forgot about something that happened Thursday night. My diligent readers know about the 'fued' between me and my best friend. So, I get an email from her on Thursday wishing me luck on my test and saying she would like to talk, that is, if I wanted to as well. Well, I didn't want to talk to her on Thursday night and seem to intrigued (maybe that's not the right word for it, but I cannot think of a better one right now) so I didn't call and kind of kept myself busy with the little bit of cleaning I did manage after we got home from Arby's. I ended up texting her saying that she could call in the morning if she wanted to before 11am. She did call, which I was glad about, and we talked for just over an hour. No apologies were given, but whatever. I'm not going to worry about that anymore, as long as the whole issue does not come up again. We talked like we hadn't even had a 'fight'. And I did find out that she was feeling kind of like I was about the whole not talking thing though because she dished that she was talking to a friend at work about how we hadn't talked in almost a month and we were best friends. She even came to Ayden's birthday party which I was even more excited about because I didn't think that she was going to because of our little rift. But I guess that I shouldn't jump to such conclusions about things, eh?

During the morning hours on Friday I cleaned some more and made two cds for my car to listen to, along with talking on the phone. And then 11am rolled around and it was time to head out to visit my friend. Down side, said friend currently lives an hour and a half away which meant three hours of driving. I arrived at my destination around 12:30 with no help from the GPS that I brought along. Okay, so I did use it, but at one point it told me to take a turn that I was pretty sure I wasn't supposed to take because I wasn't even to the city yet and then when I passed the turn it reconfigured it's directions and then they were correct. I was a little worried at first because I thought that it was going to get me lost, but I made it fine. I had told Jay ahead of time that I would only stay until 4:30pm, but I could have stayed the whole 8 hours. Surprisingly enough, Jay wasn't angry Friday morning when he left for work... of course that didn't last.

My visit went so fast! Of course though, any time spent with friends seems to go fast. It seemed like I was there for 10 minutes and it was already four hours later. Doesn't help any that I hadn't seem them since last September. Hopefully it will not be another year before a subsequent visit, but I'm not making any plans right now. Anywhoo, good times... lol... Merry Christmas! Sorry, private joke. However, happiness was short lived as Jay and I did get into it once I got home. Arguement also short lived, but an arguement none the less.

Then it was off to get my baby boy! We high tailed it over to the camp grounds where Jay's parents had taken up home for a couple of days. It just so happened that it was only about a ten minute drive from our apartment. Very nice considering all the driving that I had already done that day. Ayden was definitely excited to see us which is always fun to see. He told us all about his week at Grandpa and Grandma's and everything they had done while camping. We hung out there for a couple of hours and got home around 9:30pm. Ayden was allowed to stay up until 10pm, but then didn't fall asleep in his bed until almost 11pm. One would have thought that he was going to sleep in then on Saturday, but he didn't. Okay, I guess that was fine.

Saturday morning went by fast with more cleaning and getting ready to trek to Chilton for the family reunion. I think we made it to the reunion around 12:30... A bunch of people that neither Jay nor I knew, but it was still an okay time. Ayden slept on the drive which was good. We decided to take my car to save on gas and I drove. So, not only did we save on gas, but I didn't have to yell at Jay for his driving the whole way home. Lol, but the roads weren't that bad which was good. Jay and I sort of got into it in the car as well. First this, then that, and then he didn't like the music I was listening to. It was really pissing me off and finally he just layed the seat back and took a nap. He apologized later and said that he was tired, had a headache and just needed an outlet. Whatever, we got over it.

I got to hold baby Quinn at the party. Boy, he is a little chunker, but definitely a cute little chunker! I should have taken a picture, but of course didn't. I've been bad at my camera moments lately. Naughty Ashley! I think we stayed until about 4:30pm and then headed back to Point. My friend Victoria, her husband Chris, and their son Parker were coming over to spend the night before Ayden's party. We got home around 6pm and they arrived shortly there after. Jay went to get the rest of the food for the party and we went to the big blue park. I had taken them last year but Parker was still a baby and couldn't do anything. This year he is walking and had just as much fun as Ayden. It was great to see them enjoy it. Afterwards we came back the apartment and played for awhile and called it an early night. I think everyone slept halfway decent.

Sunday... PARTY DAY!!! I spent the whole morning decorating the apartment inside and out and Jay spent it in the kitchen prepping food. Victoria and Chris helped a little, but they also had their hands full with Parker. I miss that smallness, but I'm also glad that now that Ayden is older he can be trusted a little more and I don't have to keep my eye on him every second. Ayden had lots of fun pulling Parker around in the wagon hooked up the tractor. I think Parker had more fun out of the wagon, but oh well. Lol!

The party went really well, at least I think everyone enjoyed themselves. Food turned out good and even though we did have left overs it wasn't a ton. Ayden got so many toys again, I couldn't believe it. He is TOO spoiled. He got the big Hummer from my mom and then a smaller one from my sister. As expected, the TV from Jay's grandparents was the hit. That was the first one that he opened because it was the biggest and he was so excited. I wish that I would have gotten his reaction on tape because it was too cute. We haven't gotten it hooked up yet, but even so he loves it. He also got a cute dinosaur bedspread from Jay's parents among some other things. And even better... the weather was perfect! Casey's girlfriend even got him something which was really nice of her. And JT showed up! Wowsers, lol, considering I didn't even think Jay told him about the party. Actually, him and his girlfriend, Kelsey, came for a little while which was a nice surprise.

Speaking of JT... Jay and Ayden are gone golfing with him right now. The house to myself. Enjoying it and not enjoying it. You see, I only have this week with Ayden before he heads off to my mom's for a week so I need to get all the Ayden time in that I can, even if he is driving me crazy during it. Actually, today has been back and forth. He didn't take a nap this afternoon so I think that lead to a little bit of his whinyness, but during supper he was being so talkative that it was hard to stay upset with him. He was telling me all about his day at daycare and how he made a new friend, but this new friend wasn't old enough to be in his room yet and he couldn't remember his name, but he was wearing a red shirt today. How adorable!

I'm sure I'm leaving some important details out somewhere, but I'm done for now...

CIAO! LOVE ME!

Don't Be Scared

Jackers...I've decided that today is going to be a good day. I am not going to let this GRE get the better of me. I was pretty crabby last night and took a lot of it out on Jay, but being the ever loving boyfriend he is, he was extra nice to me and that lightened my mood. Always a good thing! I had a study session with a friend last night and he told me to stay as long as I wanted and to even go out afterwards if I needed it. Woah, he never says stuff like that! So, I had my study session and it lasted for about two hours. We studied for probably an hour and talked for probably an hour. It was nice to get out of the house.

Before hand, Jay made me a grilled cheese for supper. It was supposed to be potatoes on the grill, but he didn't feel like it. He says that potatoes will be for tonight, but who knows? I don't really care either way. But the grilled cheese was good. And... wait for it, wait for it... he apologized for his behavior last Thursday night when we had it out before I left for my mom's. Okay, so he apologized before I left, but he basically said it then because he didn't want me to leave mad. For him to bring up the issue last night (and yes, I know I haven't ever come on and disclosed this 'issue' in full laymans terms, although from deductive reasonin, I'm sure you readers have some inclination as to what some variables are) was a BIG step! So, he apologized and actually told me that he is semi okay with my impending friend visit Friday afternoon. I doubt there will ever be a time where he is even just okay with it, but he acknowledged the fact that I need to see my friends too. A step forward maybe? I hope so... but you know what they say, one step forward, two steps back. I'm holding my breath.

This week has been kind of nice thus far without Ayden, getting the extra studying done. And Jay has been more romantic. Wanting to lay by me on the couch to watch TV together without any ulterior motives. Just wanting to be with me basically, it's kind of nice. But I'm excited to possibly see Ayden Thursday night. I could go see them at the camp grounds, but I don't want to chance him wanting to come home with us because I have plans for Friday. I'll have to wait and see how things go. Wait, I just realized that I wrote possibly see him Thursday night, well that is tomorrow night... this week is going WAY TO FAST!

I took a math practice quiz earlier today and I did really well. Everyone wish me luck for tomorrow! Even better, the weather is looking to be super nice for this weekend. Sunshine and good temperatures, nothing hot and humid or stormy and rainy. Let's just hope that the weather people keep saying the same thing over the next few days. Please be right, please be right, just this once! I bought a bunch of decorations today for the party. Found a dollar store and got everything for just over $15, and I got a lot. I cannot wait to totally deck out this apartment! I'm so excited!

Now, the title of this post means two different things. Don't be scared about the lackage of background on my blog. I was trying to do something and well it didn't work the way I wanted it to and I didn't feel like trying to fix things last night. And who knows when I will get to making things look all pretty again. I'm a woman of change. Always changing! And it's meant for me, not to be scared about my test in the morning. I just need to keep telling myself that. And with that, until later...

CIAO! LOVE ME!

Math Shmath...

Ugh Jack! An uneventful morning at work has led me not to want to study today, but I must... I have a few more practice exams that I would like to get done. Might just help the score, eh? I found another website that states good scores. They say at least a 700 in the math and 550 in the verbal. I'm close in the math with my 650, but my highest verbal was about 470. Here's me worrying again, right?

I ventured to the library yesterday. Cannot remember if I told you that already. I have less than 100 pages left in the book that I rechecked out. Plan to finish it today and maybe start another one. I have two other Jodi Picoult books waiting to be read and I really like her books so I'm hoping these ones are as good too! I should slowly be cleaning the apartment for the party this weekend, but I haven't felt that motivation yet. I will probably do some laundry today, although without Ayden home there isn't a whole lot that needs to get done. But I have a few items of mine that I want to wear this week that need to get washed.

Potatoes on the grill tonight! I think Jay might even try out the new grill. He's been getting home from work a little early these past couple of weeks. Not like hours upon hours or anything, but like a half hour or hour early here and there. Definitely not working late like he used to. Don't know if that is because they don't have the work (which I highly doubt because Jay is always talking about how far behind they are) but more than likely due to the fact that his manager said they will not be working any overtime if he (the manager) wasn't going to be getting paid for it. It's a family run business with lots of issues, but Jay likes it so all is well. Hopefully this fall JT will be back because I know Jay misses him, lol! They still talk on a daily basis... Jay is actually on the phone more than me! How does that work!

Even later this afternoon now... and I finished my book. The ending kind of left me wanting more, but oh well. I am in such a blah mood right now. I feel like doing nothing and just being depressed, but I'm not really depressed. I'm super stoked for this weekend and want it to come faster (even if that means one less week of summer vacation) but I cannot make myself study anymore. I'm meeting up with a friend tonight to study some more. She was orginally going to take the test next Monday, but there was a mix up when she scheduled her exam time and it got moved to the 22nd now. Gives her extra time, which I wish I had, but actually not. A small part of me wishes for more time, but that more time would just be to put off the test. I'm so ready to just go in and get it over with. Thursday's post will be both full of joy that the test is over and possible saddness (depending on how well I did). So what did I spent my afternoon doing... watching Tru Calling on TV. Anyone remember that show? I watched it when it was originally aired and kind of liked it. Today was some sort of marathon and I watched 2 1/2 episodes and successfully did not study during that time. But I DID do some studying. I've been working more on my verbal quizzes. I could not get myself to do any math today. Hurts the brain when you do too much thinking! Getting sick of me complaining about this stupid test yet? Because that is what it really is... just some stupid test! Just think, in two days no more complaining about it, just how badly I did and the fact that I will not be able to get into grad school and I will have to pay another $140 to take the dang thing over again. Talk about being Ms. Pessimistic today, eh? Sorry, just not really in all that good of a mood.

I miss Ayden! And to think I thought all this grandparent time would be good for him! Okay, so I know that it is and that he is having tons of fun and probably not missing me like I am missing him, but dude, I need him back to give me some purpose, lol... true mom attitude.

ARGH! Just not in a good mood right now... need some mood altering drugs... anyone have any available? Maybe a cocktail of koolaid, has lots of sugar in it! Maybe that is what I am in need of, sugar, yum! Lol... CIAO FOR ME!
LOVE ME!

GRE this Thursday?! What am I going to do?!

'Just BELIEVE'

Can it really be as simple as that? I think so... I KNOW SO!

Oh Jack! And so the countdown begins... 2 days until T-day... test day! Well, not counting today that is. I took some more practice quizzes last night and on one of the math ones that I thought I was doing pretty well on, I got more than half wrong. I couldn't believe it. Do they really think we are supposed to remember all of this? I couldn't believe it! But I have faith... just need to keep the positive thinking going, right? The power of a positive mind, isn't that what they say? Or something along those lines.

I got ahold of my friend who is coming to Ayden's party last night and we talked for a good hour. It was definitely good to catch up. Her and her husband and son are coming up Saturday night and spending the night with us before the party and are going to help us get ready. Are we starting a tradition here or something because she did the same thing last year. But I am super stoked and will gladly take the help if they are offering it. Plus it will give us more time to hang out! YEAH!

This week is going to be filled with ups and downs... today, tomorrow, and Wednesday equal work and studying... Thursday morning test time and afternoon work... night time... RELAXATION AND DECOMPRESSION, maybe a night at the bar to soothe away my depression of how badly I did. Lol, yeah okay because I don't drink. Isn't that what the 'normal' person would do though? I was surprised to find out that two of my friends smoke. Well one just picked it up and I was definitely bummed to hear that (maybe she will quit after her wedding) and another one said she just does sometimes when she goes out to the bars. But she said the last time she didn't so I was proud of her. Even though I can't tell them to smoke or not, I definitely don't condone it and would prefer them not to. At least they've never done it around me.

So anyways, back to my week... Friday morning start cleaning the apartment, afternoon a visit with a friend I haven't seen in almost a year (so excited), Friday night, grocery shopping for Ayden's party. Saturday morning, more cleaning if it needs to be done, afternoon, family reunion, night, hang with my friend and start decorating for the party. Sunday morning, get food ready for party and finish decorating, afternoon (please pray for nice weather and no rain!) Ayden's party, night, clean up and RELAX AGAIN and relish that Ayden is home for another week before off to Grandma Wendy's house. Oh, and play with all of Ayden's new gifts. Back to normal schedule on Monday! Sound busy enough for you? Does for me!

And next weekend we get to go to the Milwaukee zoo, pray for no rain then too because last year it was rainy and kind of crappy out. But at least most of the animals were out. We want sunshine and warmth, but not too hot that the animals are all inside. And this time my mom is driving so I don't have to freak about Jay's driving the whole time. Lol, yes I am totally like that. I've vented enough about how I don't like his driving a lot of the time. I'm learning to just look out the passenger window or shut my eyes and deal with it. He's gotten moderately better, but I still don't like it. I have a Jay driving complex... Would you blame me though?

I didn't sleep all that well last night. Don't know why though, but had horrible dreams about the GRE and not doing so well. Great, right? Can't tell what I was thinking about before sleeping at all now can we?

Most of today, well okay half of today (the part where I was home) was spent on the computer doing more practice tests. I took a full one (minus the writing section, don't know if I should be practicing those or not) and got halfway decent scores. I was surprised with my math score and kind of bummed with my verbal score. I looked up what some okay scores were and have decided that if I can get a 1200 combined score I will be okay with that. I would like to get higher, but right now I'm averaging 1100 and like I said, not doing so hot on my verbal section. But I've been trying to find what are acceptable scores for the test and really haven't come up with anything conclusive. Some say higher than the 50th percentile is good and others are saying 75th percentile. I searched UWSPs website and couldn't find anything specific. Everyone seems to think that I will do just fine. They keep saying that I'm so smart and I don't need to worry... but they haven't been seeing my scores. Today I ran into the word pettifogging... seriously, does anyone know what that means? I didn't even know it was a word!

The other half of my day was spent relaxing the brain muscles in front of the TV, but then I decided to make a quick run to the library and get some books. I would rather be reading during my 'relaxation' time than watching TV and I found some good Jodi Picoult books that I haven't read. I also picked up the one that I took back last week that I hadn't finished yet. Still on the 7 day rental list and today I could have gotten it without paying the $1 for it because the lady totally forgot to ask for it, but I'm not like that and gave it to her. I would have totally felt guilty for not paying for it. And besides, I had the change anyways. Always good to get rid of some of my change. Even though I'm poor enough the way it is.

Lasagna for supper and then probably going to read for a while. John and Kate Plus 8 is on, only for a half hour tonight, an hour of new episodes next week though, YEAH! And then more reading. I've already invested a little over two hours of practice tests today and think I need to rest. If I keep on studying TOO much I'll go bananas when I have to sit down in front of the computer on Thursday morning. I will want to do anything BUT that. More studying and practicing tests tomorrow.

CIAO! LOVE ME!