{fin-ito}

The semester is over and I can take a deep breath and relax, for the next two weeks that is. Part of me wishes that I wouldn't have decided to start my externship so soon after this semester has ended and maybe given myself another week, but the other part of me knows that the earlier I start the sooner I will get done and get a job.

Capstone day went well. I am still kind of reeling from the fact that in all likelihood I will not see most or maybe all of my Madison classmates ever again and to be honest it is kind of sad. When I started graduate school I sort of felt like we would not really bond because we were on seperate campuses, but three years later and even though we only see each other through a TV screen the majority of the time, we kind of all became one. I have to say, I will definitely miss them. But I know that we all are SO ready to move on with our lives, especially after the craptastic last semester that we had.

But back to capstones... we all survived and I think that we all did a pretty darn good job as well! SO happy to have that over with though. Glad that the stress of that is off of our shoulders. Now it is a waiting game for our Praxis scores to see if I passed that or not.

It has been a good weekend so far. It is Mother's Day today and I sit and look at my little man and I feel like I could not be more blessed! No matter what kind of day I am having he knows how to cheer me up. This morning he came into the bedroom and came over to the bed and gave me a big hug and the first thing he said was Happy Mother's Day... too sweet. On a side note though, over the past couple of weeks it has become habit for him to come crawl into bed with me for about a half hour in the morning before we both get up. This morning it wasn't overly early so instead of both of us just laying there in silence while I tried to go back to sleep, we started teasing each other and just had a good time cuddling for a little while. He is just too cute!

Yesterday we were able to get the keys to our new house and I couldn't be more excited. The house turned out awesome and I cannot wait to get settled in. It is an old house, a very old house, so it is not perfect. There are definitely things that I wish could be better or newer, but overall I know that it will fit us great for at least the next year. For exampe, our bedroom door does not latch shut because it has shifted in the frame, the stairs are really steep, etc etc etc, but overall the character of the house wins out. Just walking through it yesterday left me smiling!

My sister's graduation party was also yesterday and I had a great time sitting down and talking to family without any stress of school or moving or anything over my head. Yes, I still harbor stress about moving since we have SO much work to do yet, but I am putting all of that on the back burner right now. It will get done. In the mean time, I am going to enjoy these next two weeks 'off' and just chill. I will have to go to work, but my current job is not stressful and then I will pack and clean in the afternoon. As fast as I want the next two weeks to go so we can be living as one family again, I want them to go slow too. I know that this week will probably go fast because Ayden and I have something going on every night, but that is good, since being at home at night is when I tend to pig out on food.

I did pretty good this past week with working out and eating good. I 'slipped' up eating Thursday night and Ayden and I had Arby's, but the thing was that after I picked him up from Great Escape at school we stopped at home to drop his backpack off and then went fishing with Cub Scouts until about 7pm and then I didn't want to cook after that. Then on Friday night I made pasta and I just needed a good bowl or two of that after capstone day. What I didn't 'need' was the pint of Ben and Jerry's ice cream that I ate for dessert, hehe! I used Friday as my off day from working out and then thought I woudn't work out on Saturday either, but I was up and on my bike by 7:30am and did a 15 mile bike ride! I had previously only biked 12 miles, but as I was biking, I kept telling myself, what is three more miles, you can do it. And so I just kept going and going until I hit 7.5 miles (we have a super nice path in Stevens Point that goes straight for just about that long) and then I turned around. What I had anticpated on was how hard the bike ride back home was going to be as I was biking into a pretty strong wind the whole way back. But I watched the odometer on my bike keep ticking up and up and kept telling myself, one less mile, you can do this. Those last three miles almost killed me though, hehe! I got home and was SO proud of myself. 15 miles is quite the feat! I couldn't feel my legs afterwards and my butt hurt, but it still felt good. I think that if I am going to continue to ride for that far or that long, I might need to invest in a different bike seat though.

I was talking with my grandma yesterday and she said something about if I lose anymore weight I will fly away. Well, I told her that I wasn't planning on losing anymore weight, but the comment still kind of got to me. I worked damn hard to get to where I am and I am proud of it. I like what I see in the mirror and I do not feel that I am underweight for my height and build. Also, I am NOT anorexic or have an eating problem. I eat... A LOT and I eat both healthy and non healthy foods. So, thank you grandma for your concern, but you have no idea. I mean, did you see my biceps yesterday?! Haha! The one muscle that I love on my body right now. Its as if there is no happy medium for anyone these days. Can I not be healthy and look how I look?! Oh well, I will just try and forget it. My grandparents are known to just talk and not think. Oops.

Time to finish getting ready and head to my mom's house to celebrate Mother's Day with her! Pictures of my classmates, the house, and a few other things coming soon as I am blogging from my tablet right now and it is hard to upload pictures decently on here.

CIAO! LOVE ME!

{gone and done it}

I’ve gone and done quite a few things already this week and it is only Wednesday night. Quite the productive week if you ask me, although I haven’t had to work at all.

I’ve put the finishing touches on my capstone paper.

I’ve finished up my capstone presentation (just need to practice it ALL day tomorrow and then present it at precisely 1:50pm on Friday, if you happen to look at a clock around that time, send me some good vibes my way please!).

I’ve continued to eat pretty good since Sunday, staying within my caloric limit and even enjoying a few bits of chocolate along the way.

I’ve worked out every day since Sunday and I am feeling fine! Even though I didn’t really feel like working out tonight, I got up off my lazy rear and pounded out a Fire 55EZ workout.

I read a book. Started it Monday, finished it tonight. Good book.

I finally told a friend she wasn’t going to be in our wedding. Yeah, that didn’t go over so well. We’ll see where that friendship ends up. But that is one of those things I’ll probably not share about on here.

I’ve taken a video tour of our almost finish new (to us) house! And during said video tour got to video chat with my honey a bit. I got super excited to see a glass cooktop stove, a side by side refrigerator with water and ice in the door, a dishwasher, awesome painted living room, and super cute (but small) bathroom. I also got just a teeny bit jealous that Jay got to see it in person, hehe!

I’ve passed my four year blogaversary! Four years! CanNOT believe it has been that long already! Oh, how things have changed!

And… I sat through my last ever on campus class. Bittersweet actually.

Like I said, it’s only Wednesday, ha!

To elaborate a bit… the book I read was called Save Me and it was pretty good. It started out kind of slow and then finished up kind of fast, but it was worth the money. I just needed a good read. It has felt SO relaxing this week without having to go to work and just worrying about a few capstone revisions. I cannot wait until the full weight of that is off of my shoulders by Friday night. Tomorrow is full on practicing my presentation, although, to be honest, I’m not that worried about it.

Like I said, I have been eating pretty good this week and being home most of the day and doing that has actually surprised me. However, the junk food supply in our house is actually pretty much nonexistent so it is hard to fill up on chocolate candy bars when there are none. Guess an apple will have to do. I am loving my body right now though. All of the hard core work I’ve put in the last two months of working out has gotten me to where I wanted to be. I’ve maintained my goal weight for about two weeks now, slightly fluctuating every day, but that’s to be expected. What makes me even more happy than the number on the scale though is how I feel about myself.

Excuse me for a minute while I get a little vain (hey, it’s well deserved, I worked my ass off to get this body), but I am in love with my arms and I may or may not be starting to see some ab muscles poking through. I took this picture this morning… see how much room I have in my pants?! Those pants are a size 7/8 and when I bought them around this time last year, they fit… not too snug, but not fall off my hips loose either. Now, if I didn’t wear a belt with them they wouldn’t stay up! LOVE it! And I am damn proud of myself!

I’ve worked harder than I have ever worked before in my life and the results have amazed me! I am not perfect by any means. I still have trouble eating super healthy. Part of that comes with my dislike for the kitchen altogether. But if you would have seen what I was eating only a year ago. I was drinking at least one regular Mountain Dew a day. I was not watching my portions AT ALL. I would have a big bowl of ice cream almost EVERY night… and we are not talking one or two scoops.

I no longer drink soda, except on the rare occasion that we are out at a family gathering. We don’t keep it in the house. I still crave a huge bowl of ice cream every night, but since I try not to buy it very often, I don’t eat nearly as much as I used to. I still eat WAY more processed foods than I should, but like I said, I just hate cooking. In the last two months I have tried to make an effort to at least buy more fresh fruit and baby carrots, haha! I mean, aren’t some frozen veggies good for you too?! I’ve been doing more of those. Let’s face it, I’ll always be a microwave and eat kind of girl, I despise standing in front of the stove. I despise most of the kitchen altogether. Hence why Jay does dishes and I do laundry, ha!

Katie brought her camera to school today to take a picture of our last day on campus. Once she sends the pictures to me (I wasn’t smart enough to think to bring my camera along too, but will remember it on Friday) I will be sure to post them on here. For now, I’m going to go watch some House Hunters and let it sink in that I am really done with that dreaded distance ed room. Gah!

CIAO! LOVE ME

{final week}

Today marks the final week of my third year of graduate school. The FINAL week. This week marks the last week of in class lectures I will have to sit through (minus any continuing education I’ll need to get in the coming years to keep my license up to date). It marks the last time I will be in the same room as all of my classmates. It will be the last time I sit in class with Katie and make class go faster by searching for things in Pinterest, haha!

This week is capstone week. Ugh! Haha! In all honesty, at this point in the week (Monday), I am geared up and ready to give my presentation. Ask me that on Friday morning and I will probably tell you something completely different. I just want it done and over with though. Ready to move on. Actually, just ready to MOVE!

This past weekend my mom came up to help pack and clean again. (World’s best mom award!) We were super productive and got almost the entire basement cleaned out. The only things left down there are big things that we couldn’t move up, like the futon, washer, dryer, a desk, etc… really just a handful of things. We also got the basement pretty much cleaned too. Another score!

On top of that basement being empty, we also packed away the majority of our kitchen as well and cleaned the empty cupboards. Our garage is almost packed to the brim with boxes and it should make moving next weekend a little easier and faster. I’m also hoping that we can get a lot of the place cleaned as well that weekend.

We have our tv and internet scheduled to be hooked up at the new place and we will be saving over $50 on that per month which is awesome! We will also be getting super fast internet. Our internet right now is okay, not super fast for uploading pictures, but it works. I am excited for it to be a bit faster. We are getting rid of our DVR and I know that I will miss it at first, but I will get over that. Quite honestly, it was a luxury that we didn’t need.

I’ve also registered for my ‘classes’ for this summer and fall. By that, I mean, I registered for my externship and my online seminar. Yes, unfortunately, I will be paying full time student tuition while I work 40 hours a week without getting paid. So fair, right?!

Another thing crossed off the list of things to do is change our address. Our mail will start to be forwarded by the middle of next week. Each day makes the move seem that much more real. I mean, in my head I know that it is going to happen. We have boxes everywhere and we have a new place to live, but the unrealistic person in me sometimes wants to believe that it isn’t true. After being at one place for three years, it is hard to fathom that in just a few weeks we are moving back across the state instead of just across town. EVERYTHING will be different, not just our house. I think that that is what scares me the most. Adjusting to a new city, although its not really new, I grew up there.

I talked with my mom this weekend about moving back and having everyone crowd in on us because we are back in town. I told her that I was most scared about losing the independence we have had as our own little family here in Stevens Point. We only had each other and I loved that. It was always just the three of us. I want to keep that same independence moving back home and I hope that all of our families realize that. Okay, so I know my mom and probably my dad won’t be overbearing, it is just not who they are. I know I’ve expressed these concerns on here before though. I hate to be a repeating record all of the time…

I jumped right back onto the workout and eating good bandwagon yesterday. I did pretty good for being home all day too. Ready to bust out the rest of the week in just as good of a fashion too! Feeling much more energetic about working out this week and eating better too! Best part, scale was my friend this morning!

CIAO! LOVE ME!

{priorities}

Ayden has a late start day at school today, so that has given me an extra hour at home this morning to get caught up on some cleaning and to do a little bit of blogging as well. I ‘slept in’ until 7:30am and then decided I should maybe get out of bed. My body wouldn’t let me sleep any longer so that was okay.

Instead of working out though, I got up and showered and now I am sitting at the computer. Well, I also got the dishwasher going, cleaned the kitchen table, and put a few other things away.

I decided that I am going to take the rest of the week off from working out. I just didn’t have it in my this week to power through the work outs. They were getting kind of old and my body was just not feeling it. I have been feeling pretty drained all week and so I decided to give my body a break and jump back into Week 6 again on Sunday. Next week is a new week and I know that my body will be craving the adrenaline rush that the workouts give me. Plus, next week I will have a little more time to invest into them. This week was kind of hectic.

I have been kind of running on auto pilot lately and it has been affecting my overall mood, my relationship with Jay, and my parenting to Ayden. Of course Ayden’s basic needs are being taken care of, but I haven’t been investing the amount of time with him that I know I should be. I am a good parent, but I am not being a very good one right now. Does that make any sense? It sort of hit me last night and I got really bummed about it. We’ve gotten into such a bad routine at our house and I am sick of it. Instead of putting Ayden first all of the time like I know I should, I have been putting myself first and working out first more than I should be. I know that I require some mommy time as well, but I need to put Ayden time first and I am going to make a conscious effort to do that starting today.

I have decided that I am going to try my hardest to work out when Ayden is not at home or after he goes to bed. The next couple of weeks it will be easier because Ayden will be at school all day and I will only be working in the morning so I will have time in the afternoon to work out. I have also decided that once we move and I start my externship that I am going to try and move my workouts to after Ayden goes to bed. I know that it is not always the smartest thing to work out late at night because then you will be wide awake forever, but it might be the best option for our family. (Well, at least workouts that I want to do outside of the home.)

Because Jay will be leaving for work by 4:00-4:30am every morning, it will be pretty impossible for me to leave to go to the gym in the morning before Ayden wakes up. I mean, not going to leave him at home alone. And since I probably won’t be getting home until 6:00pm everyday, I want to use that time until Ayden goes to bed as family time. Especially since Jay will probably be in bed shortly after Ayden to. Just thinking about it though depresses me because we will probably get two to three hours together as a family a night. I know that that is more than some people, but it is still not a lot. What does make me feel better is that at least for the summer, Ayden will get to spend the day with either his great grandma or his grandma and since Jay will be getting done with work around noon or 1pm, he will get a lot of time with daddy too.

I want to continue working out through the summer… after all, I have a 5K to train for, but I need to make my family come first. I need to work at rebuilding the foundation of our family that has started to crumble with us being apart right now. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing majorly wrong with our family or mine and Jay’s relationship, but it isn’t going to be easy peasy putting us all back into one house again after two months of being apart. Ayden and I can fend for ourselves and it has made me even more independent than I already was. Jay is being weighted on hand and foot by his mom, I’m going to have to retrain him on how to clean, haha!

CIAO! LOVE ME!

{time flies}

*I started this on Monday with every intention of posting it Monday night; however, the week got away from me and here it is already Thursday before I am getting this posted.*

Let me preface this post by saying it will definitely not be whiny and complainy (yes, I am making that a word for today), like my last one. I needed a good vent and I got it out. The rest of my weekend went well, despite the fact that I spent little of it with Jay.

I had a great photo shoot on Sunday and I am in the midst of editing the pictures. They turned out awesome and the sneak peak is getting a lot of positive feedback from friends. I have to admit, I was slightly nervous... it was my first shoot after a few months without having one, but once I got there and got into my groove, it went very smoothly and I think we all had a great time! The goal is to have the rest of the pictures edited by Friday which shouldn't be a problem. After all, I don't have the Praxis to study for anymore, hehe! (In reality, I busted out editing all of the pictures Monday during a break between work and class and then at night so I could get them sent out and not have to worry about it for the rest of the week.)

The month of May is going to be a busy and exciting and LIFE CHANGING one for us around here! Below is a summarized list of everything that is going on during each of the next five weeks. Some weeks have more stuff going on in them than others and I put it just about everything I could think of, even the little things that need to get done. I am really hoping that this week goes a little better than last week and I have every intention of making it so!

Activities during the week of April 29, 2012

Week 6 of single parenthood and Turbo Fire

Mom coming to visit and help pack

Cub Scouts tree planting event

Last week of clinic

Do last assignment of the semester

Finish Mother's Day project

Finish editing photos

Activities during the week of May 6, 2012

Week 7 of single parenthood and Turbo Fire

Capstone presentation

Sister's graduation party

Get keys to new house at the end of the week

Ayden getting teeth pulled

No work

Last week of classes

Ayden field trip at the end of the week

Activities during the week of May 13, 2012

Week 8 of single parenthood and Turbo Fire

Week 1 of Couch to 5K

Mother's Day

Moving most of the stuff at the end of the week

Cub scout meeting

Activities during the week of May 20, 2012

Week 9 of single parenthood and Turbo Fire

Week 2 of Couch to 5K

Possible photo shoot at the end of the week?

Ayden's last day of school at the end of the week

Ashley's last day of work at the end of the week

Activities during the week of May 27, 2012

Week 10 Turbo Fire

No more being a single parent

Week 3 of Couch to 5K

Start externship

Photo shoot at the end of the week

I am determined to make this week a healthier eating week and have started the morning off good. And even though my motivation for working out has gone down slightly in the last few days, I have still pushed through each workout and am proud to say that I have made it through Week 5 with only taking ONE rest day each of the weeks. That is not something I thought I would be able to do. I am still dripping in sweat after a Fire 55EZ workout, but it is getting easier each time and it seems to go faster every time I do it. I know the pattern of the workout a lot better so I can count during the moves and know how many more rounds I have to do before moving on. It helps me keep motivated because I tell myself as we are doing it... only four more times, only three more times, only two more times, last time! It isn't so much of a guessing game anymore. The only thing I am wondering about what kind of schedule I will want to adapt when I start the Couch to 5K program. For that you are running three days of the week for about 35 minutes. At this point I am pretty used to working out for 45 minute or more each day of the week, but I'm thinking running will be enough to get me into a pretty good sweat. I know that I will have to alternate running with Turbo Fire so I won't be working through the weeks of Turbo Fire quite as fast. I plan to start the Couch to 5K program on Monday May 14th, which gets me fully through Week 6 and 7 of Turbo Fire.

I have to say, this week has been back and forth for eating. Despite the fact that I said that this was going to be a good week... Monday was okay, Tuesday was horrible, and yesterday I made a concerted effort to MAKE sure it was a good day. I realized that when I am sitting in front of the TV doing nothing, I eat and eat and eat. Tuesday during the day was really good and then I got home and had a good supper. It was after supper that hurt me. I had a small bowl of chocolate chips, then an ice cream bar, then a bowl of chips, and THEN a big spoonful of nutella. That nutella, I tell you, it has become the bane of my existence, haha! So, yesterday when I got home from class I made sure to keep busy and when I would think about food, I drank water. Then I picked Ayden up from school and we spent the rest of the afternoon, until about 7pm, outside which definitely helped!

I am surprised that I am not counting down the hours to my capstone presentation. At this point I just want it D.O.N.E! I told Jay that that weekend will be a great weekend for me. We will be getting the keys to our new place, it is my sister's graduation party so I will be able to just sit and relax and enjoy seeing my family, and it is Mother's Day and I am excited to give my mom her Mother's Day present. It will be one of those weekends where I won't have to worry about what time we need to leave Chilton at to get home to Point because I don't have anything going on the next week except for work and cleaning and packing. Cannot come fast enough! But it will because tomorrow is already Friday and that means this week is already over.

This week has been mediocre for working out as well. I did my workout Sunday night and then I used Monday as my 'off' day for the week to finish editing pictures. I did half of my workout on Tuesday. By half, I mean that I did the 30 minutes of cardio that I was supposed to do and then skipped the 30 minutes of strength training. I just wasn't in the mood. Then I skipped working out last night in favor of spending time with my little man, but I think that a four mile bike ride counts for a little something. At this point in the program, even though I would like to continue with it as strict as I have been, I am getting a little tired of it and because the weather is warming up, it is harder to stay inside when I could be outside doing stuff. I will probably do my 30 minute cardio that is on for tonight, but not the 30 minutes strength training. Then tomorrow morning since Ayden has a late start, I will probably do my Fire 55EZ workout before I take him to school since my mom will be visiting.

I was scouring the Maurice's website the other night and I found the most awesome dress for my sister's graduation party. Not that I need to be dressed up or anything and the dress isn't super dressy... mostly cute and fun and I like a cute fun dress!

Here are some pictures from our adventure to Jordan Park last night. I can never go to that place without my camera! I love going there with Ayden and just climbing around on the rocks. It was probably one of the last times (if not THE last time) that we will be going there. And for awhile I just sat on the rocks and soaked in all of the beauty of the place. It just made me sad that we will be leaving Stevens Point!CIAO! LOVE ME!