Lake Joanis

Jack- Today was officially my first day of not having to go to class, well that is until September. I forgot to mention yesterday that I also registered for the taking the GRE at the beginning of August. I know that I mentioned that I had to take it before, but now I REALLY have to take it because I paid the money for it. But I don't think I will have to write anything like I thought, namely essay stuff. Ciera thought that we might, however I haven't officially confirmed that we haven't.

Ayden and I spent the morning inside today cleaning and watching morning cartoons. Like the kid doesn't already get enough of those. I got all of the laundry done and it isn't even technically the weekend yet and I cleaned Ayden's room and most of the rest of the apartment. I still have a few things that I need to organize this weekend though. When I say I cleaned Ayden's room though, really I just threw everything that was on the floor into an empty bin. I didn't take the time today to put everything where it is 'supposed' to go. Really didn't feel like it, maybe I will dump it out tomorrow and reorganize it. Yeah right! The kid will just have everything dumped out again in like three or four days anyways so why take the extra effort.

After nap time today we went for a walk around Lake Joanis. Lake Joanis is a small lake near campus and they have a ton of walking trails around/near it. Acutally Stevens Point has like a 20 mile Green Circle Trail that people can walk, but the one around the lake is only a mile. I tried to bring the wagon along in case Ayden got tired, but it wouldn't fit into my car. I totally need a bigger vehicle! Someday... anyways, we left the wagon at home and started our walk. We got about 1/3 of the way around the lake and Ayden says that he wants to go back home. Somehow I managed to get him all the way around the lake, the whole MILE, and he didn't complain once about his legs being tired. He actually had some fun, I think. We also ended up seeing three deer. It is always funny to see deer in town, but we are used to it because we used to have some in the woods at our old apartment (even got some to come up to our bird feeder once there) and I've almost hit a few taking Ayden to daycare several times. So, even in the city, animals find a way to get intergrated, lol.

After our walk Ayden and I played with his golf clubs outside and he was practicing his cast with his fishing pole. It has this little plastic fish tied onto the end of it. He is actually getting pretty good at the whole casting thing. And then we made some supper. Just buttered noodles, pears, and peas tonight. Something easy.

Jay got home a little later than usual which was fine. As I always say, more money and then we headed off to the grocery store to get some food. We needed to go on Monday, but managed to hold out until today. And we managed to not spend a whole heck of a lot of money either which is always good! The biggest upset to me was getting home and realizing that I MISSED the season finale of Ghost Whisperer. I was mad because it was supposed to be really good. I'll survive though, at least I think so. Lol. Walmart is my love and my nemisis, lol! Tomorrow we might do some rummaging, haven't really decided yet. Jay said that there were a ton in Plover today, so if we can get some good deals I won't complain. Last year we found the stools for our counter real cheap and they work really nice. Mostly we just set things on them, but they are there in case we ever need to actually sit on them.

I got an email today from our case worker stating that we are a go for daycare help until the end of August before we need to be reviewed which is good. I thought we needed a review by the end of June. But we also received some downer news. Once school starts, we only get 1.6 months of continued help with daycare expenses and then we have utilized the 18 months that they allow. I am not sure if that means they will cover the expenses for the hours that he is at daycare and we are at work or not. I also think that next year the rate for Ayden will be going down a little bit because he is older. I don't know for sure, but it's adds to the money expenses that we need to worry about. I'm trying not to freak out about it right now because I have faith that things will work out somehow. But it will never be far from my mind, not that money ever is. It's sad that it makes the world go round, but what can you do?!

Okay, so I was totally going to write something before but I can so not remember what it was. Believe it or not, I am not perfect, lol. In that case I guess I will just get going then. Ciao! LOVE ME

D...O...N...E...

Jack- What does that spell?! DONE! That's right, I am officially done with the semester and I could not be happier. Well, okay I could. Here's the deal, I got to school early enough this morning in preparation for my audiology test. I was meeting up with my friends (in othe words, my ComD girlies) and we were going to have a good ole study session. Like we really get any studying done at these things. Well, it ended up being us 5 and two other girls from our major. And of course we did get some studying done, but we also ranted and raved about the class and the way the teacher was possibly going to lay out this exam. After all, our last class/study time/question asking session the teacher pretty much told us nothing about what would be on the test. So, here we are with four chapters of material to study and we are all cramming in into our heads, along with the crazy hand gestures we were associating with the material. I know, I know, we really are a crazy bunch when we get together. The laughter did not stop coming and I felt bad for those around us who really were trying to study. In any case, it's not as if we were in the library or something.

Fast forward to test time... 50 point exam and it is 4 pages of writing. Yes, you did read that right, 4 pages! I couldn't believe it. I wrote for an hour straight and my hand was cramped to the max by the time that I got done. I am not expecting a 100% on the test, afterall, I only needed a 35/50 to keep my A, but I would like to get at least a 40 or better. I don't know though because I wasn't too sure on some of the questions. Needless to say, our study session was nothing but cramming useless knowledge into our brain because she didn't ask a damn thing that we thought she would. I was unnerved, but I am glad to have gotten it over with!

Weather is great again today so Ayden and I will probably spend the afternoon outside, especially since I don't have to worry about any more homework. Tomorrow I plan on going to the library and getting him some more books. I looked and they have a story time on Monday nights and Kristi and I might start taking the kids. I think it would be lots of fun for them and then Kristi and I could hang out as well. She is just getting over a cold and the flu, which she so graciously got from Lily, who got it from daycare. And all during finals week. Really sucks to be her, but today she was looking better. Pretty high up on the drugs though. Gotta love those drugs!

Okay, well I took a break there for a while and now I am back. And as you can see, I found a way to add to my blog and even change the font, that is if it works when I 'publish' the post. Hopefully!

My afternoon went okay, not as well as I would have liked. While I was working on my computer Ayden came over and wanted to play a game with me. All fine and dandy and as I set him over on my knee I set him a little too far and all of a sudden I feel that we are tipping over in the chair. I make a grab at the edge of the table with one my arm and tried to keep a hold on Ayden with the other, but unfortunately it didn't work. My grab missed and we tipped over sidewise. Ayden thought it was rather amusing, but I smashed into my elbow/arm and my hip pretty bad on the floor. Thought I might have broken my elbow for a second there and almost passed out from the pain, but I didn't, thank goodness. However, I did have to go lay down for a while because it hurt so bad and Ayden didn't quite unerstand. He was upset because he wanted to play hide and seek with me and I was afraid that if I stood up I would pass out. Gradually the pain passed and I am able to function again, but the elbow is still a little sore. Ayden and I ended up watching a lot of tv this afternoon though as a result. Oh well...

Jay got his new computer monitor today. He was super excited to get it and set it up and I have to admit that for the price that he paid for it, we got one heck of a deal. The monitor is really nice and bigger than his last one and best of all it takes up about a 1/5 of the space. Greatness!

My little malacious plot got a little foiled today, but I suppose that it was all for the best. As things usually have a way of working themselves out. Needless to say, Jay and I are back on good terms, which is always a good thing, right? He found out that I was looking at his phone, well actually I kind of told him, and his response to not telling me was that he was 'testing' me to see if I would look at his phone and in a way I was 'testing' him as well to see if he would tell me the truth. We almost got into an argument about it, but kept calm and discussed things and I think we are on the right path again. At least I hope so.

I cut Jay's hair tonight. Well more like buzzed it, but it was still my first time. Figured might as well save the money and do it at home because they do the same darn thing at the salon only they charge you. Turned out fine, but dude, he has super thick hair. Give me some of that!

Enough babbling for tonight though. The season finale of ER is on tonight and I am going to finish watching the movie that I taped last night. Ciao! LOVE ME!

Lacking All Ambition!

Jack- I still have one test tomorrow, but after my psych test today my brain is literally fried! I haven't picked up my audiology study material yet and I doubt that I will tomorrow. I am meeting up with my ComD girlies in the morning for a while before the test so that should be enough to get me knowledgeable about the material. What do you think? I know I should be more motivated, but I am to the point where I just don't care. I really just want it DONE! So, at around 11:15am tomorrow, I'm hoping my exam doesn't take me more than an hour to complete, I should be free and clear of any school associated things for a while. Oh that reminds me, I still need to go and register for the GRE. Another thing that I've been trying to push out of my head for a while, yet somehow it keep creeping back in.

I finished my book this afternoon. It ended okay and overall was a fairly decent book. Not something I would normally read, but I enjoyed it overall. I have another one by the same author, but I found out that the books kind of go in a order and so I read the first one and the next one that I have is the last one. I am sure that I could read it and not get lost, but I usually like to read things in order. Kind of quirky like that, I know.

Jay is working late tonight. Kind of a bummer, but it's more money and Ayden and I had a pretty good afternoon. We were outside drawing with the sidewalk chalk and practicing more letters. It's funny because he doesn't know what some letters are yet, but after I tell him the letter name he can tell me what dinosaur it goes with. Like, he didn't know 'I' but when I told him it was the letter 'I' he was like 'Yeah, I is for Igaunadon.' Him and those dinosaurs. I'm thinking we are going to have a dinosaur themed birthday party for his this year. We are still watching the Jurasic Park movies, however not as often as we used to which is a good thing because I was getting pretty sick of them. Ayden and I also colored some pictures today and he surprised me. I was coloring something and he looked at it and said 'Mom, that is marvelous' Of course it wasn't articulated perfectly, but I didn't even know that he knew that word. It was precious. He can be such a little snot sometimes, but it's when he says something like that that I know I'm doing a good job raising him.

We had mac n cheese and hotdogs for supper and it just so happens that that was the same thing that Ayden had for lunch. I knew that he had had that before I made it, but when I asked him what he wanted, that's what he said. I didn't mind because it was an easy supper and we all know how much I love to cook. We definitely need to go grocery shopping, but I've been putting it off this week in favor of staying home and studying and I really don't like grocery shopping in the first place. It kind of goes hand in hand with cooking... neither are on my list of favorites.

So last night, as I posted earlier, our internet wasn't working so thus Jay could not play his game. Sucks to be him, right?! Anyways, we lay down in bed together to watch some tv and he gets a call around 9:00pm from Charter saying that the internet is back up and running. Well I thought he would just stay in bed with me and we would fall asleep together, first time in like forever, however that did not happen. He stayed in bed with me until 10pm, but not because we were watching TV. In any case, he then says that he is going to go on his computer and 'study' because his study guide was in his email and obviously he couldn't get to it before. I didn't care because studying is a good thing, but what I did mind was that his phone was sitting next to our bed and he took it out with him to the computer to study. Honestly, did he really need his phone to study?! I don't think so. And if you ask me, I think his studying probably lasted a whole 10 minutes, if that! We all know that he just wanted to play that damn game, which I don't care, but don't tell me you are going to study when you really aren't. I guess I can't say for sure how long he studied because I didn't physically come check, but I do know that he didn't come to bed until 12:30am and that he most definitely didn't study for 2 1/2 hours. Nor has he offered up the fact that he's been calling Miss Sam (yes, he's been calling her, not the other way around). I hate making it sound like his talking to her is a bad thing, but I keep remembering what we talked about last week and how he said he was going to make all this effort to include me and talk to me and that went over so well for what, like a day! I am waiting to see if he says anything, but at the same time, little does he know that soon he will be getting a taste of his own medicine and then we will see how he likes it. I don't mean to sound malicious (sp?), but I think what I am planning is really the only way to get through to him. Don't worry, it's nothing that bad.

Side note quick, Ayden is playing with his lincoln logs right now and he just held up to in the shape of a 'V' and he told me that he made that letter. And then he added one to make a 'Y'! Those were two letters that we were working on outside with the chalk! He is such a smart little guy! :)

So back to my annoyances with Jay. Once again, we had a lazy dad in the morning and this morning I kind of took it out on him. Ayden got up early, like when I got in the shower early, which normally never happens. So I told him to go in by dad and lay on the bed and dad would turn on some cartoons for him. After I got done getting ready I just sat and watched some news before I had to leave for my early test, but in the meantime Jay's way of getting Ayden up and dressed was to pause the TV (we have DVR and can pause, rewind, all that good stuff to live tv) and tell Ayden to go get dressed. Fine with me because otherwise the kid refuses to stop watching and it's something that we've done before. But when Ayden starts getting whiny about it, Jay's response is to say that he will turn it off for good unless Ayden goes and gets dressed. So Ayden goes into his room and his whining has turned into crying, and not whining crying, but like upset crying. And what does Jay do, yells at Ayden to get dressed. Finally I had enough of it, told Jay he was being an ass and went in to try and calm Ayden down and help get him dressed. I told Jay he was just being lazy and yelling at the kid and that I'd had enough of it. I got Ayden his chocolate milk and vitamins and left for my test without even saying goodbye to Jay. Honestly, the guy is really irking me! Good news is, he wasn't mad at me when I called him later in the day to ask him something and still not mad at me when we talked later. Lately it seems that I am more upset with him than in love with him... and I'm pretty sure that is not the way things are supposed to be. What do you think?!

Part of me is dreading the summer because it will be so nice out and thus we can spend more time outside, but the we is usually just me and Ayden. I practically had to drag Jay out of the house the other weekend to go biking with us. He never wants to do family things together when I suggest them and he NEVER suggests doing anything as a family either. Just once I would like him to say, come on lets go for a walk or lets play a game together (something that Ayden can play as well). It's like pulling teeth and my numerous attempts at letting him know how I feel go unresponed to. Sometimes I feel like Jay is more of a father than a dad and by that I mean, he father's Ayden, but doesn't interact with him. At least not as much as I would like him to.

Okay, I feel like I've done enough complaining, getting sick of it yet?!... LOVE ME

Yesterday's Post

Our internet wasn't working yesterday so I blogged to a word document... here it is...

Physiological Psychology

Jack... Really the title of this entry should say it all! And by all I mean, driving me completely insane! I've been studying on and off since noon and do you think I feel comfortable with what I know, not in the least. Maybe that is because I felt comfortable with the last test and I did the worst on that one. But I am really trying to study harder for this one and make sure I have everything down. Okay, so being on here does not really qualify as studying, but I needed a break from it all. There is only so much reading about the hippocampus and depolarization of this and of that that I can take at a time. So, that would explain why I am on here. The worst part is that I haven't even begun to look at my audiology stuff for the test on Thursday and nothing for my little quiz at 8am. I'm not too worried yet. Really just want it done and over with so I don't have to worry about anything extra for a few months. Just go to work and then come home and play with Ayden.

Well this morning I went and woke Ayden up, really just opened his shades and made sure that he at least woke up once and then I finished getting ready myself and sat down to watch TV and waited to see what Jay would do to help with Ayden. His 'helping' once again constituted yelling from bed for 20 minutes 'Ayden!' I was so tempted to yell at Jay that obviously the kid was still asleep or he would have responded by now or gotten up, but I waited it out to see what Jay would do. And what did he do you wonder? He proceeded to stay in bed until 10 minutes before we had to leave, yelled at Ayden until Ayden finally got out of bed, and didn't once offer to get Ayden anything to eat or drink before we had to leave. I was PISSED! So, tomorrow Jay has to take Ayden to daycare because I have an 8am exam (the same time I am supposed to be dropping Ayden off) and you know what I am going to do, get up and get ready and not even bother with Ayden. Then we will see what Jay does. Let him deal with it all himself, I don't really care anymore. At least next week we won't have to be to daycare until 8:30 which means I can sleep until 7am! Finally, there won't be a 6 on the clock when I am waking up.

Work went really well today. I was able to get a lot done and my boss even bought me a candy bar from one of those fundraiser things that people always have. However, it wasn't a very good candy bar, but just the thought was nice. I really love my boss, sometimes she is like a second mother to me. She has children my age, a little older, and one still in high school so she really understands the college thing and she always insists that my school work comes first. I am so lucky to have found my job because everyone is so great and nice and friendly and they are super flexible with school and me being a mom. Things couldn't have worked out better!

The weather for this weekend is looking kind of cruddy again. Why does it always happen on the weekends?! I am sure soon enough though the weather will be nice all the time again. I can't wait to be able to go to the beach everyday and just relax. Sometimes the pressures of school are just too much. But I know that I can make it through. I want it too bad to give up now and besides, it would just be a waste of money to give up when I am so close to being done.

But studying is calling again so I need to keep this short. Until then… ME

Nosy Me... Oops!

Jack... Honestly, I've been working hard at this no checking Jay's phone thing and have been doing good for a few days, but it got the best of me today and I so wanted to check his phone when he got home from work. However, while he was in the shower I could not find his phone. Part of me thought maybe he hid it from me and another part thought maybe he left it in his vehicle. So I went on a mad hunt around the apartment trying to find it while he was showering and no such luck. As it would happen, it was in his truck. Maybe it was a good thing that I didn't go look out there to see if that was where it was. But on the downside I haven't been able to get my hands on it since then. He never puts the damn thing down. I know though, being a snoopy girlfriend is not a very good thing. I did ask him what time he came to bed last night and he said around 1:30, even though I knew it was 2. I just wanted to see what he would say. He told me that the people he was helping needed more help than they had originally let on and he was too nice to just leave them. I want to believe him, but you never know. I know, get over it Ashley... it will only cause rifts that don't need to be there. Sometimes I still wish that he would just give up that game, he made it to the top level, say you conquered it and get over it. It's literally worse than like playing PS2... it's Jay's drug of choice, lol. At least the semester is soon to be over with and he won't have to worry about screwing up his grades by lack of carrying for them. I complain too much, don't I? Well, deal with it, right?! My choice of expression equals venting to the max!

Our afternoon went rather well. I finished up my take home exam and cleaned up around the apartment. I should have done some laundry, but didn't really get around to it. I also read some more and totally didn't do any extra studying. Ayden and I went to the small brown park for a little while and had fun swinging and going down the slides. We also played with the lincoln logs again when we got home. He likes to watch me build the houses. His talent is building boats out of the roof pieces. He also likes to try and build a bridge. He's getting better.

Ayden ended up in bed a little earlier than normal tonight. He was getting a little out of control energy wise and needed to calm down a little. Plus, Monday night is my night to watch TV... Little People Big World and John and Kate Plus 8 (love them!) and I couldn't hear over his yelling and screaming. He was jumping up and down on Jay and literally like beating the guy up. It was too funny. There's that Hoerth wrestling in the blood coming out. It was too cute. I should have taped it. In any case, he brushed his teeth, we did stickers and Jay read to him and now he is playing in his room until I decide to turn his 'Bart Simpson light' off which is normally around 9pm. It gives him some down time at the end of the day to relax and get ready to sleep. Sometimes he is already asleep by the time I turn off the light, other nights he stays awake until 10pm in bed just talking and playing. Fine with me, although those times he is sometimes cranky in the morning. Not always good. Lol.

So I've been thinking about going to see Lee again, but unlike other times, it's really not high on my priority list right now. I haven't been to see him since September and really it doesn't even seem like that long. We always have a great time when I visit and the day goes super fast. I couldn't believe how fast the day went the last time I went to go see him. Before I knew it, it was time to go. Kind of bitter sweet in a way because we got along so great, but I know Jay dispises him. But I've come to acknowledge that and have learned to live with it. We've definitely come a long way in a short while so I will take what I can get.

I got a Mother's Day card from my friend Kristy who lives in Vermont. It was so sweet. I also got a nice message from my other friend from Vermont, Mike, saying Happy Mother's Day. It felt nice to have people say it to me. I love being a mommy... nothing better than that in the whole entire world! And when Ayden said it to me, my heart melted all over. While we were at the park today he was climbing on something that he probably shouldn't have been, but I was keeping a close eye on him. Anyways, when he got the top and was standing there I realize just how big he is. My little boy is growing up right before my eyes. He's not so little anymore! I saw an old picture of him yesterday at my mom's house and I couldn't believe how small he used to it. It is so weird to think that he is almost four years old. If we've made it this far, I'm thinking we can pretty much make it through anything. Well, I know that we can make it through anything!

Babble babble babble... I know... LOVE ME