{keep going}

I have been back at work for one full week now and I am starting week number two and I am still alive and functioning. Still alive and well, and well managing to still function somehow, haha! The drive in this morning was rough. Have I mentioned that I have a 45 minute drive to and from work? It gets long when you are tired! Thank goodness for my energy drink that I’ve been having! No more soda, almost two months soda free!

How was leaving Xander and returning to work you ask?! What, you didn’t ask? Well, I’m going to tell you anyways. It was alright. No tears were shed. I survived. It was a little rough. I got up that morning and managed to get everyone ready in time and was off to work. I am officially part of the 5am club, but just not for working out. Wish it could be for that. Maybe in a few weeks once I feel more confident about being able to get ready and out the door on time I’ll work that in. I had a really good week being back at work and besides missing the tiny man like crazy, it went well. I was pretty busy all week so the days just flew by and before I knew it, I was headed back home to cuddle with the Xan-man! I think in the ideal world I’d love to work only part-time (as I really did enjoy that last summer), but student loans and other bills kind of prevent that right now. Oh well. It really isn’t as if I am going to ‘work’ because I do like what I do. It doesn’t seem like work for me. Are all days peachy perfect? Of course not, but for the most part it doesn’t feel like work per se. If that makes sense.

I forgot to mention in my last post that I’ve officially run my first (and now second) 5k since Xander was born. On Memorial Day weekend, Victoria (because we hardly ever do runs without each other anymore), Ayden, Xander, and myself all packed up and headed off to Fond Du Lac for my first post baby run. I don’t necessarily count the Color Run I did three weeks after Xander was born because I walked the whole thing. We had (mostly me) big goals of finishing this run in less than 45 minutes. It was no easy feat, let me tell you. I was pushing the jogging stroller, and have you ever tried running with one of those?!

Needless to say, Ayden rocked the run and actually ended up finishing about three minutes before me. We all stuck together until about the last half mile-ish. I pushed myself and Victoria throughout the whole thing. Ask her, I was being the bitchy bestie who wouldn’t let her walk! Hehe! We did walk/run intervals and Ayden had no trouble at all! Little stink butt! Xander slept the whole time so we didn’t even get cheered on by him, haha! I came in shortly after 44 minutes and Victoria finished just before 45 minutes. We all hit our goal and were damn proud of ourselves. I mean, at that point I was just shy of six weeks post-partum. Hells yeah!

That run took care of our May ‘obligation’ so it was then time to find one for June and I happened to find one in a city pretty close to us. It was an uber small event with maybe 100 walkers (if that) and probably only about 20 runners. This time I was sans kiddos and my goal was to finish in less than 40 minutes and Victoria’s was to finish in less than 44 and wouldn’t you know it… we both hit our goals again! Rock it! The course ended up being more like 3.25 miles instead of 3.1, but I checked my Garmin at 3.1 and I was at 37 minutes and about 30 seconds. Oh yeah! I felt good! It was a hard run because I was pushing myself, but you don’t get better by just sitting around not pushing yourself! And I know that I’ll get back to where I was at some point!

Victoria and I have now officially run in 11 ‘races’ together. I use the term race loosely as we don’t actually race, we just run. And I’ve also discovered that we have a knack for always standing on the same side when we take our after run picture together. Too funny! Never would I have thought that by starting out running to just finish a 5k back in October 2012 that I would have somehow become addicted to it, gotten my best friend addicted to it, and be training for my first marathon! It is completely insane if you ask me! But that is what Victoria and I do best… we do insane and I don’t think either of us would have it any other way!

CIAO! LOVE ME!

{back to work}

I'm sitting here in the glider in Xander's room listening to him smack his lips in his crib just chilling out. It is relaxing. And I'm giving all this up to go back to work on Monday. Why oh why?! Actually, as I've probably said before, I enjoy my job so I'm not completely heartbroken about having to leave my sweet baby boy. Honestly, I visited work this past week (I was missing my coworkers, they really are like family to me) and had a look at my schedule for Monday and I am excited about getting back to it. Of course I am going to miss Xander. I miss Ayden like crazy when I'm at work and have missed him like crazy while he has been in school these last weeks and I've been home. Ayden and I will always have that extra special mommy and son bond... Simply because he had been my only child for nine years. Unfortunately, I have to now give my sons the same line that my mom gives me 'you are one of my favorite children' or 'you know I love you all equally'. Let's face it, that may be true in the case of me to my kids, but we all know I'm my mom's favorite no matter what she says, haha!

I've definitely enjoyed being home after having Xander, but it's time to get back to our reality and I think we are all kind of looking forward to it. 

The tiny man has been very good to mommy the last two nights sleeping for about a six to seven hour stretch. Mommy is happy. We did take a step back from the crib transition though. It was pretty warm here last week/beginning of the week and we only have two window AC units. One for our bedroom and one for Ayden's bedroom. Because we had one night before they were put in that it was warm and both mommy and Xander slept like crap... Daddy installed them and the next night instead of having Xander in his hot room and crib, we brought him back to our room and put him in the pack and play. That was an okay night. The night after it cooled down a bit and he was back in the crib. Once again, it was an okay night. Momma was getting tired of just okay nights, so on Wednesday, I brought him back into our room, swaddled him up (it had gotten cooler again) and hoped for the best. Needless to say, I was surprised when I was first being woken up at almost 3am! I thought it might be a fluke, but he did it again last night. We'll make the transition back to the crib at some point, but with me going back to work this week, I'm going to try and get as much sleep as I can! Yeah Xander!

I had my post partum doctors visit today and everything looks good! I got the okay to start working out again, although I have been kind of running for the past two weeks and just this week started a program called T25. It is a beach body program and I just finished Day 2 today. The best part is that the workouts are only 25 minutes long. The two that I have done so far have literally kicked my ass, but everyne has 25 minutes to spare! I've done other beach body programs... Turbo Fire and Chalean Extreme and have loved them both and will incorporate both of them into my cross training for my Dopey Challenge in January. It just feels so good to feel like me again. As I've probably said a dozen times now. What can I say, it was a long few months where I really didn't feel like me. 

These next couple of weekends are going to go by super fast because we are booked to the gills with graduation parties, soccer games, rummage sales, Father's Day, and anything else we can seem to fit in! Before I know it, the month of June is going to be over and it didn't even start yet! Goodness! 

And, now tiny man is starting to fuss so that is my cue to end this!

CIAO! LOVE ME!

{running}

Today was my first non track non jogging stroller long run on my old running route and even though it severely kicked my ass, it felt great! When I started running again last week I had full intentions of following the Couch to 5K program like I did last time, but on Day 2 I said screw it and did my own thing. At this point I am fully doing my own thing, but it is still running inverals, they are just longer than I would be running already with C25K. Most of my runs so far have been with Xander in the jogging stroller around the track... No people, no bumps, and close to our house if Xander would happen to get ultra fussy (although he's enjoyed them so far). 

I fully and logically realize that I am only five weeks post partum and it took me nine full months to go from 123 lbs to 158 lbs (I'm kind of guesstimating that number, because it know it was close to 35 lbs that I gained during pregnancy), but the emotional part of me is bummed my weight loss has kind of stalled and it's taking hard ass work to get the scale to move again. As of this morning, I was 128.6 lbs, only 5.6 lbs to lose to get to my pregnancy weight, only 8.6 lbs to lose to get to my goal. But ultimately, the number on the scale doesn't matter so much to me as it is feeling good in my body and fitting back into all of my clothes. Most days I wake up and feel good about where I am in this so called journey back to the old me, but occasionally I'll look in the mirror and still see the baby pooch and I'll want to wear a specific pair of pants and I can't yet fit into them. I should feel great that at only five weeks out I only have five more pounds to lose, but also, the closer you get to your ideal weight, the harder it becomes to lose it and the more hard work you have to put in. Hard work sucks! Lol!

So, about my run today. Like I mentioned, it kicked my butt! I took off on my old three mile route and decided that I wanted to try and finish in 40 minutes or less. I had tried that on Monday on the track with the stroller, but missed it by three minutes. I was still proud of myself though. Three miles in 43 minutes while pushing a stroller (granted it was on a flat surface).

I put my headphones in, cranked the music to an unapproved by an audiologist level, hehe, and took off! I ran almost all of the first mile and then had to do shorter intervals throughout the rest of it. If you run, or even walk for that matter, you know there was just something about being alone with your thoughts. Running kicks my ass, but it also gives me that challenge and I love pushing myself. Today I was telling myself to get to the next light post or the next sign and to just keep going! And I did. I may have been a sweaty mess afterwards, but I also felt great! And you know what? I ran those three miles in 40 minutes 18 seconds. Not quite under my goal, but damn near close enough to it! It was just the 40 kid and baby free minutes that this momma needed to rejuvenate herself!

Getting ready to rock that 5k on Sunday, even if we have to walk more than run.

CIAO! LOVE ME!

{to my alexander}

My tiny man... You have now been in our family (outside of mommy's belly) for just over a month now and like mommy always says, time has flown! She cannot believe that you have been here for a month now and what a month it has been!

We recently had your one month doctor's appointment and you weighed 11 lbs 8 oz and were 23 inches long. Both of those fell into the 90th or above percentile. I don't remember what the nurse said your head circumference was (although she did write it down), but I do know it was also in the 90th percentile. You are growing like a weed and are super healthy!

Your tear ducts are clogged, but your doctor said that that was okay and that what we were doing at home was good. She said it could take up to a year for them to clear out, but mommy and daddy are hoping it happens sooner. It doesn't seem to bother you at all, but mommy feels bad always having to wipe your eyes.

Everywhere we go people ooh and ahh over your hair! Daddy's keeps saying we need to cut it and as much as mommy wishes he was joking, she knows that he's mostly serious. Mommy refuses though and you'll have nice long hair for a long time yet. Your brother's hair is nice and long right now too and it is the cutest! Although he wouldn't want mommy calling him cute. He's at that age.

Speaking of your big brother... He loves you more than he lets on. Mommy has caught him singing to you to try and calm you down, he tries to give you your nuk, which by the way you don't really care for, even though mommy wishes you would... He likes to say goodnight to you and is always asking how your day was when he gets home from school. He still refuses to change any of your diapers though!

You are sleeping relatively good at night for a one month old, only making mommy and daddy get up twice usually. We will take that for now because we know it could be worse, although at this point mommy is starting to jones for a full uninterrupted night of sleep. She knows it will come again... Hopefully sometime in the coming months. Your brother did not sleep through the night for a long time and that is one thing she hopes you don't follow in his footsteps with. 

You've just about outgrown your newborn diapers which is sad. We have just a few left that we are trying to use up, but the size ones definitely fit a little bit better. You have outgrown just a few newborn outfits and some of the 0-3 month ones that were big on you just a few weeks ago are going to be too small pretty soon! Stop growing so fast please!

Right now you are eating about 4 oz every 3-4 hours and you always burp better for daddy than you do for mommy. She is a little jealous about that, but she knows she has the special touch when it comes to calming you down. 

Mommy has to go back to work in a week and a half and she is going to miss you like crazy! She has had a lot of years to get used to being away from your brother all day, but you are a tiny little munchkin yet. But your Auntie Emmy is going to be watching you for the majority of the summer, so she knows that you and Ayden are going to be in great hands and you will have lots of fun I with her. 

Mommy loves you tiny man!

CIAO! LOVE ME!

{first Mother's Day as...}

...a mommy of two! And it was great! Ayden made me the cutest little gift in school with the sweetest poem inside. I could sit here and complain that I didn't get to sleep in and Jay did. I could complain that Jay didn't even take the boys out to get me something, but I'm not going to. Despite the fact that it would have been nice to be a little spoiled on Mother's Day, I just revelled in the fact that I am blessed enough to be a mom, and a mom to two little boys that I couldn't fathom my life without. We spent the morning chilling at home together and it was great. I got in some extra snuggles and just loved it.

In the afternoon, we headed over to my mom's place and celebrated Mother's Day with her. We had some yummy food, of which I indulged in just a bit too much, haha! And then drove home in the pouring rain. Ah, but alas, it was a great day!

And because it was crappy weather yesterday, Jay ended up getting the day off. He headed into work, but got called off before he arrived, so he came back home and took over baby duty for me in the morning and let me sleep in and he even took Ayden to school. I slept in until about 8am and I am not going to lie, it felt nice! Xander continues to get up about twice a night and as much as it sucks sometimes, it could be worse and I'm not super exhausted all day and I often don't end up napping either.

CIAO! LOVE ME!