{blast from the past}

As I was enjoying a lazy day at home yesterday, during which I was productive for absolutely none of it (so sue me, everyone has those kinds of days), I decided to dig through some of my old journals and see what my cares were over ten years ago. You see, it is probably no secret by now that I love to write. I love to get my thoughts and feelings out on paper because it is a nice release for me when the going gets tough. I started journaling just before I entered the ninth grade and I continued consistently through my senior year. I stopped journaling just before graduation and didn’t get back into it until I started blogging a couple of years ago. Only this time my thoughts and feelings are plastered all over the interweb for everyone and their mother to see. And at this point in the game I’ve learned to censor myself at least somewhat. If you’ve been around since the beginning of the blog, then you know at the beginning it was so censored and I wrote like no one was reading (when in fact probably no WAS reading). I’ve since grown and despite still having that urge to get EVERY little thought that is rolling through my head down onto paper (or in this case, on the screen), I definitely do hold back some. You live and learn and while I’ve had no real repercussions in my life for being so blatantly open and honest, I’ve changed my habits somewhat.

So, as I was going back and rereading some old journal entries I realized just how much of a regular teenager I really was and I’ve also got a glimpse of what the future holds for me as a parent having to deal with teenage children. I like to think that I didn’t really give my parents that much of a run for their money during my teenage years and I wasn’t all THAT dramatic. I mean, I didn’t go to house parties, I didn’t drink, I didn’t smoke, I never snuck out (although that’s not to say I never snuck anyone in, haha!), so all in all I was overall (in my opinion) an average teenage child, you know, until I got knocked up during my senior year of high school, lol! I can laugh about it on the outside, but it will forever haunt me, no matter how old I get.

I know that I’ve grown and changed leaps and bounds over the last 10 years, but just going back and rereading some things, I was cracking up! Oh the woes I had to go through. It is hilarious! Of course, it wasn’t at the time, but reflecting on it as an adult, girls are dramatic! I was dramatic, at least in my journals. My sweet parents having to deal with me. My sweet parents having to deal with my sister! I thought I was hot headed at times, she is ten times worse and we only have our mother to thank for that, lol!

I have to say though, that I have got to have some the best parents around. They’ve been nothing but supportive for my entire life and continue to be so. I know I’ve given them both oodles of credit on the blog before for helping make become the person I am today, but people, tis true! And I know anything they ever did that I didn’t agree with as a child was only because they loved me. As a parent myself now I have a greater appreciation for what the things they did that I didn’t like because I am learning that with Ayden, it’s parent first, then friend. And there have been, are, and definitely will be things that I do that he doesn’t like. It’s called being a parent.

With that, I also have to say that I have some of the best (future) in-laws around too! Like I said before, I know it’s been mentioned before, but I have to say it again. You hear horror stories about people’s in-laws, but you won’t hear them from me. Right from the beginning Jay’s family has been nothing but welcoming. I sincerely enjoy spending time with them.

I don’t often go back and look at my old journals. There are times that I’d rather not remember. I think everyone has those. But I think I’m going to keep my old journals around, so that if I ever end up with a daughter… when she gets to the age that I started journaling… I might consider letting her read them. So that she can see her mom went through the same kind of teenage girl drama. Maybe. We’ll see. Lol! I’m sure there are things I’d rather her probably not read. But I do like that I have those memories written down. I might really get a kick out of going back and re-reading them when I’m 80 years old and have grandchildren running around. I’d love to get my blog printed into a book or something as well to have that, but I haven’t found a good website to do it that doesn’t cost a ton of money. I mean, I have over four years of stuff that would need to be printed off. And there are definitely things I’ve blogged about that I’d rather not remember as well.

In other news, we’re still on the vehicle hunt for Jay. Ugh, added stress there. Ayden continues to enjoy summer school. Mother Nature has finally decided that it should be summer (at least for the rest of this week). Wedding planning continues to go well. Did I mention that I went and tried on my dress earlier this week? Still in love with it. We finally decided on the tuxes. I’ve attempted to start another book. I have another book in the wings that I want to read. I’m continuing to keep up with my workouts. Although, I’m using today as my off day from working out, despite going for a walk during lunch. That doesn’t really count, haha!

CIAO! LOVE ME!