{busy beavers go go go}

The little man and I were alone for the weekend while Jay was away for some wrestling thing. It was just him and I from Thursday thru Sunday... we did alright, haha! We have a good routine down, just the two of us, so the four days went pretty fast.

Thursday was a typical day at work and school for both of us. We were supposed to get some snow Thursday night, so both of our hopes were up that we would have a stay home day on Friday. Turns out, we did. (Although, if you ask me, all they really needed was a two hour delay.) Because Ayden didn't have school and I wasn't risking the drive to work, I told my dad that Alexis could spend the day at our house and then sleep over night if she wanted. Of course she wanted, so it was the little man, the little lady, and myself from Friday morning through Saturday afternoon. We all had a good time! The kids played good together for most of Friday. We ventured out to Walmart just after lunch and I bought myself a book. I've been dying to read a good book lately, but know that with my busy schedule it would probably be another weeks before I could fit one in, but then decided I needed one right now. You know, just NEEDED one! I haven't read a book in a good couple of months so, one was calling my name. I got the book Safe Haven. I could totally have downloaded it onto my Kindle, but sometimes you just need the feel of a good book in your hands.

I got that book because I want to see the movie and I knew the movie was based off the book and lets be honest here, have you ever read a book and then seen the movie and thought, wow, that movie blew the book out of the water. Um, not so much! At least not me. I always like the book better than the movie. In any case, I finished the book by Sunday. It was a good book and now I can't wait to go see the movie. I gave my mom the book and told her that she had to read it and then we could see the movie together.

I was going to take the kiddos swimming on Friday night; however, because school was cancelled, the pool was not open. They forgave me, we came home and they built a fort in the living room and slept in the fort Friday night. I didn't get to hit up hot yoga on Friday because I had the kids, but I did so some yoga/stretching on Friday morning before Ayden got up and Alexis came over. (Apparently after getting up at 5:45 am for almost a year, your body doesn't like to let you sleep in any later than like 6:30 am.) Anyways, I popped in my Turbo Fire Stretch 40 DVD of which I had tried exactly one time for about 10 minutes when I first got it and then stopped because it was too slow and boring for me and did some yoga. Most of the Turbo Fire moves were ones that I had learned in hot yoga and honestly this time around, I am ready for the slow yoga and stretches. It definitely does a body good. I didn't realize how much good until starting hot yoga. I am hoping that Victoria and I can hit up hot yoga this Friday though.

On Saturday morning I had a photoshoot with two little guys at the house that went very well. Please feel free to hop on over to the photography blog to check out a sneak peak of their session. If you are friends with me on Facebook and/or like my Facebook photography page, Frozen Moments Photography, you may or may not have already seen these. I think they turned out super cute!

The kids behaved really well while I had the photoshoot and afterwards we had lunch and then went bowling. Both Ayden and I had to make up games for league and Alexis likes to bowl too, so we all had a good time. Ayden did pretty good for his scores. He has now started to bowl without bumpers and is doing amazingly well! I love that he found something that he enjoys so much! Me... well I rocked my first game with a score of 158! That is amazeballs for me and I'm not quite sure how I ended up doing so well and then I bombed the next two with more average scores for me... just under 100. Bowling is definitely not my thing as far as doing well in, haha! But we had a good time. After bowling I dropped Alexis off at her house and Ayden and I headed home to chill for a little while.

Originally we had no plans for Saturday night until I saw a friend on Facebook say that she was going to go snowshoeing at a local Nature Center in town Saturday night. I had previously heard about this event from my boss at work but had forgotten about it. I was glad to be reminded (Thanks Sarah!) and asked Ayden if he wanted to go with me. Neither of us had been snow shoeing before and snow shoeing at night sounded fun. Plus, the weather wasn't extremely bitterly cold either. I quickly texted Victoria to see if her and Parker had any plans and whether or not they wanted to join us as well. They did. Have I mentioned how awesome it is that we can just get together at the spur of the moment and have a blast, kiddos included! We had a great time and the kids continued to talk about how much fun they had the day after! It was definitely a good work out, but I'm not going to lie, I was cold and done by the end, haha! There was quite the turnout though, probably 20-30 people. I was expecting much less, but I'm glad there were so many. And Ayden and Parker were not the only kids so that was good too. I was worried that we would be walking too fast for them to keep up, but they were both rock stars!Sunday was mine and Victoria's 5K for February. It went great! My mom came by to watch the little man for me and Victoria and I headed off for our second race together. The weather was semi okay (not super cold, but not super warm either) and we got a really good parking spot. This was the first annual race for this particular 5K, so there were only about 120 runners. The gun went off and and then so were we! Because I've been running inside for the last couple of months, I forgotten how much I enjoy running outside (when it isn't below freezing). The run went smoothly and I had an average pace of about 10 min/mile which was pretty good for me. I was at the finish line cheering Victoria on as she came into finish! She did awesome and beat her time from her last race by over a minute! SO proud of her! Our next race is in a few weeks and I am hoping for a little warmer weather. I am going to attempt the 17K option instead of the 5K option, so that means a few long runs are in my future as preparation. I figure what better to help me prepare for my half marathon in April than a 10 mile run in March!

Here are Victoria and I after the race! Rockstars, yes we were!Here we are post race with the t-shirts that we made to wear. However, we neglected to realize that puffy paint on top of an iron on will not stick, thus some missing letters and us not wearing them. However, I wanted to get a picture of us together with them! And because we are cool (ie: my bestie puts up with me wanting to take crazy pictures with her) here is a picture of us at Parker’s birthday party in matching card glasses and our matching sweatshirts from the race. Stunning, right!The rest of Sunday was spent just chilling out at home with Ayden. And because I am currently obsessed with my arms, here is a picture of my awesome biceps. They are currently my favorite part of my body. They may not be huge (yet), but there is definitely some definition there and I love it! CIAO! LOVE ME!

{perfectly imperfect}

I know I've written a post like the one I am about to write previously... so if you've read my blog for any length of time, you may have already heard this, but I feel the need to write it again...

I've been blogging for almost five years now. I've been journaling for even longer than that. Writing is the easiest way for me to let everything out... the good, the bad, the ugly, the great... all of it. Writing is judgement free in my eyes (even though I'm putting myself out there on the blog now for people to openly judge me, I am thankful that they haven't, at least not to my face). When I journaled, I wrote only for me so I wrote it ALL. Every nitty gritty detail of my screwed up perfectly imperfect life. When I started blogging I used to write it ALL too. Some of my very first posts were very raw and open... probably stuff I wouldn't consider putting on here today. You can go back and reread all of my posts. I haven't gone back and censored anything. I won't. I'll keep it as a record for myself. Actually, one of these wonderful days I'd love to get all of my blog printed out so I have a hard copy of it. I'll get to it, one of these days, haha!

People can and do change with time. I've grown in the last five years. If someone says that they are exactly the same person from five years ago, they are lying. I continue to use my blog as an outlet for me, but I do censor it more than I used to, per Jay's request... and I'm trying to respect that. Also, what I have going on in my life now is drastically different than what I did five years ago (except the whole still being in school part, lol). I've always been a big believe in telling it like it is. I read FAR too many blogs where the author only paints a picture of perfect happiness in his or her life. Only posts the good/happy stuff. Me... I am not that person. If anything, my blog may come off a little more negative than positive because I use it as my outlet. Of course I am going to post good stuff when it happens, but I am also going to post the bad stuff. I strive to be real on my blog. Real.

If that means being elated about a good grade Ayden got or needing to bitch about how crummy my day at work was, I will. If that means posting about how excited I am to run my next race or griping about something crappy Jay did or didn't do that ended up bothering me, I will. It's what I do.

And honestly... if you don't like it, don't read it. I don't write my blog for you or for anyone other than me. I post it online because I can. It is easier (faster) for me to type up a post than to sit and hand write it. Could I type it in a private file just for my eyes only, of course, but I like my blog. I like sharing my perfectly imperfect life. Do I want and or need a million readers, heck no. I doubt I even have 50 consistent people that come back and read my ramblings, but that is okay with me. I know that you will not agree with everything I write... I know that you will not like everything I write... but that's who I am. Take me or leave me...

I know there are blogs that I read that I don't necessarily agree with 100% or like all of the time, but I remind myself that each person is entitled to live their life in his or her own way... JUDGEMENT FREE!!! And I still respect these people. Once again, if you don't like it... don't read it. Easy as that.

I NEVER try to pretend that my life is perfect in any shape or way or form. We all have good days and bad days, I just chose to post it out there for other people to read. It has taken me a LONG time to fully not give a crap what other people think. I just don't give a crap. I don't run with the crowd, I like to run against it... grinning from ear to ear the whole time!

So, will I continue to post about all of the sweet things that Ayden does and all of the moments when he's being a typical little eight year old not listening to his mom... YES! Will I continue to post about personal moments of clarity and craptastic moments when I fall down (only to get back up again)... YES! Will I continue to post about all of the romantic things Jay does for me (probably not, since it never happens anymore, hehe) and the not so romantic pet peeves of his that I dislike... YES! Because that is me, that's what I do.

Will at some point I change what I write or even stop blogging all together... maybe. For the time being, I still enjoy it, so I'll continue it.

Next up, a fun post about mine and the little man's weekend together! It was jam packed full of fun! Stay tuned!

CIAO! LOVE ME!

{pinspiration}

Browsing pinterest lately for some workout inspiration and here are a few that I found that I liked! Enjoy!Heck yeah, I’m awesome! SO awesome!OMG do I believe this! I’ve had numerous friends tell me that they want to work out but they just don’t have the time. BULLSHIT is right! If my bestie who works full time, goes to school full time, and raises her son along can workout, then ANYONE can make the time! Way to go Victoria!Working out is such a mental thing at times! MANY times, haha! Just need to push past the mental block of the ‘I cant’s’ and ‘just do’s’. Which is totally me right now!

CIAO! LOVE ME!

{out of my mind}

I may have pounded out five miles on the treadmill last night, but they definitely weren't enjoyable miles and it was one of the few workouts where I've left in a worse mood coming in. The fact that I forgot my headphones/iPod definitely played into that worse mood as I was left alone with my thoughts for an hour. Nothing but me and the pounding of my feet on the treadmill belt in a gym full of people... despite being surrounded by a ton of people (which by the way becomes easier and easier every day), I felt like I was completely alone. Typically I have my headphones along and I can plug into the treadmill and watch one of the many TVs that are hanging from the ceiling, but yesterday I forgot. So, no TV, no music, just my ever thought processing brain.

It's like yesterday life after graduation suddenly became real. Each day graduation becomes one day closer and you cannot begin to imagine how excited I am about that. I have worked my ass off these last nine years and cannot wait to be Dr. Ashley. But honestly, as excited as I am, that thought also scares the crap out of me sometimes. I've been living in the 'real' world for the last nine years... living on my own (on my own an hour and a half from family), making things work with Jay (which has been mostly good), raising the world's most wonderful little man, paying bills, and going to school. Yes, I've had to worry about money to a certain extent... it's not as if we've ever asked for money from family because we haven't. I don't know why I keep thinking that the actual real world is going to be so much different than what it is now. I suppose though that the ever looming student loan debt that we have is what freaks the living daylights out of me and it shouldn't.

Yesterday was a day of really realizing that the 'end' is near. I got an email saying that graduation is going to be inside. Big bummer! (Although at least if the weather is craptastic this year, no one will be freezing.) Graduation for the doctoral candidates (me) isn't until the afternoon. Bummer again (mostly because I wanted it in the morning), and we only get six tickets. Not that I wanted every person in my family there... I don't know. It just really made me bug out and disappointed.

On top of that I found out about a job offer about an hour away. I know it would be an awesome job, but here's the thing... it is an hour away from where we currently live. Getting this job would mean moving because I really don't want to be driving an hour to work each day (especially with another Wisconsin winter like this... 45 minutes is enough and when I actually do get a job, I'll have to try a little harder at making it there when they are my patients and no one else can see them, ie: right now my supervisor sees them... that and the fact that she only lives five minutes from the office makes her drive a little easier to manage). A potential move could mean cutting Jay's drive down to next to nothing which would be awesome for him. But here's the thing, I don't want to move. It took me a long time to stop missing Point and feeling like that was home for me, but now I feel at home again in Chilton. And as small as the city is, as much as I hate not having my stores near by, the fact that our family is SO much closer has been the biggest blessing of everything. Although I don't see us living at our current residence forever, I was hoping we'd be here for at least two or three years and then be able to buy a house and really settle down. Moving would be changing Ayden's schools... again! I really DREAD doing that. At what point do I put getting a job over pulling my son from a school that he is just getting settled in to only have to transfer him again? My thoughts... never.

Now, I know that said potential job is most likely not the only job out there that I would be a fit for, but it has opened my eyes to what is coming in the next couple of months.

All of these obscene thoughts were running through my head on my run last night and I desperately wanted to give up at mile three, but I kept pushing. Last night was definitely more mental than physical. It sucked. I was in a pretty foul mood when I got home and really just wanted to veg, but Jay and I ended up talking and he seemed to ease my fears a little bit. I'm still worried, but I know that with him by my side we will work through whatever may come up. He has a good stable job right now with prospects of it continuing to grow in the future, so if I can find a good job that lets us stay in the area we will push through. We will never be rich, but that was never the point. I'd just love to be able to not have to count pennies out of the couch (not that we were ever at that point) and I think we will be well on our way to that in the coming years. I have faith.... we have faith.

And now that Ayden and I are stuck home for the day because of bad weather, I need to keep motivated before my mood sours again. I only had a half day of work scheduled for today and had grand plans of running some errands afterwards and hitting up the gym and getting home a little earlier than normal. Stupid mother nature decided I shouldn't do that today, rained out last night, froze the rain on the roads, and then snowed on top of that. A two hour delay for the little man meant I could still hit up work for a bit and do my errands, but that turned into no school because it's still snowing, no work, no errands, lets relax at home. Might just have to hit up my dad's treadmill tonight instead. And the errands will have to wait until next week I suppose. They are nothing important anyways. But seriously mother nature, we are broaching the end of February, you can give up anytime now... anytime!

CIAO! LOVE ME!

{truckin' along}

In my world, it is Wednesday. I am already ready for the week to be over. Is that sad? It hasn't been a bad week by any means, I'm just ready for it to be done. I am looking forward to the weekend, a relaxing weekend at home with the little man, well, I might get out and go shopping on Sunday. We shall see.

I busted my booty at the gym on Monday and rocked out six miles on the treadmill. I was so ready to bust out eight miles, but I just couldn't make it. I lie. I could have made it, but I stopped. I wimped out. I had sweat pouring off of me and I just wanted to get home, so I stopped at six. But six is a great in my books.

Another night at the gym on par for today, but I'm not shooting for any record breaking runs. Want to bust out about three miles in thirty minutes. That is faster than I have been running lately, so it is going to be a little bit of a push, but that is my goal. I also plan on hitting up the elliptical for a little bit after that too. The elliptical is much harder for me because I haven't been using it lately. Then I am going to go home, relax, and hopefully watch a new episode of Criminal Minds all cozy in bed. I don't even know if it is new tonight, I just hope so, haha!

Craptastic eating lately. That is pretty much all I have to say about that. It just so happens to be that time of the month, so cut me some slack, haha! At least I am going to the gym tonight, that should count for something. And I have plans to go to the gym tomorrow night and hit up some hot yoga on Friday... plus adding in all of my push-ups, sit-ups, squats, and planks that I have been doing each night. So glad to say that I have been staying on top of those even when I don't want to. Gearing up for March because that month is bound to be harder... bring it on biotch, haha!

I wish I had more exciting news to offer up with this post, but I don't. To be honest, life continues on like normal lately. Going to work and coming home. Dealing with the cold snowy weather and still hating it. Working out. Doing homework every now and then. I would definitely love to start a new book (thinking Safe Haven). Thinking maybe that will be a this weekend thing. I need the good escape from the real world that a good book gives me and the movie looks like it is going to be good, so that means the book must be better, right?!

Valentine's Day is tomorrow. Enough said about that too. Haha!

More later when I have something interesting to post about.

CIAO! LOVE ME!