{skipped boot camp}

*Started Monday*

I made the conscious decision last night to purposely skip boot camp this morning and I only feel slightly guilty about it. I know I should have gone and that I would have felt really good afterwards (I always feel better after a good workout), but my head and heart were just not in it last night. I am dead tired right now. Our weekend was busy busy busy, well my weekend was busy busy busy. I spent all day Saturday helping photograph a wedding and it took a lot out of me. I expected to have some of Sunday to just relax and recoup, but that didn't really happen.

The wedding was beautiful and the pictures went well. I continued to be amazed at the work the main photographer does. I mean, I already knew she was pretty awesome to begin with... but each time I see her work I become more enamored and wish our wedding was tomorrow. Being at the wedding this past weekend has really gotten me into wanting to plan our wedding and start wedding stuff. I was becoming really overwhelmed with the thought of wedding planning and everything that goes into it just last week, but now I am excited about that sort of stuff. Of course, my thoughts on that may change again once I start getting more into it.

*Continued Wednesday*

Tonight I feel more guilty about skipping boot camp on Monday. I stepped on the scale after I got home from clinic and was cleaning the bathroom and the first words I said were ‘puke in my mouth’… people it was THAT bad! Shut up, please, yes, I know I am over exaggerating, but still, it was six pounds MORE than I want it to read. Yes, SIX WHOLE POUNDS! And YES when you weigh what I weight, six pounds takes MUCHO MUCHO hard work to lose! It took me almost two months to lose six pounds last time. Okay, yes, I know I cannot lose six pounds in a week if I didn’t gain it in a week unless I starve myself and it really would only be water weight I was losing. And I know I didn’t gain back these six pounds over night. It has happened gradually since we moved and I stopped working out every day. People, it is SO hard to get yourself to work out when it is over 90 degrees in your house and you’ve been working all day. And yes, I am making an excuse! Excuse me while I wallow in self pity right now. I am the only one at fault. Believe me when I know that. And believe me when I say I am wallowing in self pity and may have eaten a king size snickers bar tonight. Tomorrow I am kicking my ass into gear and I am going to start counting calories like a nut job again. People, we all know I am on an endless cycle of working out good for a few months and then not doing so good for another few months. Well, it’s that time again, time to kick my ass into gear! Because I want to look hot for my honey! Because damn he looks hot for me!It’s just too bad that he doesn’t have to work at it so hard like I do because he is doing physical work all day long. Granted, he could definitely work out with me and get into better shape, but he is definitely at a good weight now and I am proud of him for getting to it. At this point he could probably eat all day and not gain anything because he is literally walking the entire day for his job. Damn men, haha!

So, I finally made an appointment to go try on wedding dresses next month with my mom and sister and I am so excited! So excited to the point where I want to go already tomorrow to try on dresses. Each day is one day closer. No longer is my wedding two and a half or even two or even one and a half years away! It is real in my head now. Jay and I have started a guest list of just our family so far and there are already over 200 people and that is just immediate family. We haven’t extended it to second cousins or anything like that yet. Obviously not everyone will show up, but my guess is we will be inviting at least 300-400 people. However, that includes everyone and their children. We had thought about not inviting the children of Jay’s older cousins since there are a lot of them, but I am inviting my younger cousins and sometimes having kids at the party makes it more fun! Plus, I enjoy seeing all of his cousin’s kids… a bunch of them are close to Ayden’s age. Really, it is just going to be a big celebration, tons and tons of fun!

CIAO! LOVE ME!