{not enough}

I need to sit back and be honest with myself. I've been major slacking on the fitness and eating right lately and as much as I shouldn't let it get to me (because no one is perfect), I have been because it's been just pure laziness and indulgence. I know that there will (and are) days where I'm just having an 'off' day and everyone has those, but those 'off' days came one too many last week, as well as the 'I'm going to eat better tomorrow' days, haha!

 

Last week looked like this: Monday we were at the zoo and I counted all of that walking around as my workout. Yes, you walk a lot at the zoo, but I didn't over exert myself. Tuesday I had no intentions of working out, but I did go for a 3 mile run/walk (with more running than walking) with the little man at night. Wednesday I counted the walk that Ayden and I took out to a lighthouse as my workout. It wasn't a long walk. Thursday, Friday, and Saturday... zilch! I was on my feet (in heeled boots) on Saturday walking around quite a bit helping to photograph a wedding, but once again, didn't count that as working out. Plus, I totally ate two cinnamon rolls with cream cheese icing for breakfast and then a three course supper at the wedding. I know, not horrible, but still. I hate that it's SO hard sometimes. I HATE that I see almost everyone around me eating whatever whenever and despite I have no weight to loose, I'm not trying to gain weight either and maintain is JUST as hard, if not harder than loosing sometimes. I have to say, that I have been maintaining for the last couple of months (maintaining a number that is two pounds higher than I would like it to be). Yes, I'm stressing over two measly pounds.

 

I had good intentions of going swimming yesterday at the pool with the little man. We did not go swimming. Instead, I went out at 6pm in the 86 degree weather that was also about 80% humidity and I ran 4.5 miles. Not going to lie, it was slow, I took plenty of water breaks, and I even had to walk for a bit. But the walking was more due to some leg pain than being too tired. Thankfully it wasn't any knee pain, and after some Dr. Google searching, I think it's some IT band problems... stemming from my lack of stretching, going for a longer distance than I was ready for, and my lack of foam rolling afterwards. Boo on that!

 

But, I felt great after the run. It felt nice to get a good sweat going, which didn't take long as it was, you know, 86 degrees out.

 

I figured, no swimming last night, means swimming tonight. Little man has bowling, so he'll be gone with his dad. I love swimming with him, but that obviously means I need to keep at least one eye on him most of the time (despite their being a life guard and the little man being a pretty good swimmer), and this way I can concentrate on my swim instead of having to keep my concentration on the kiddo.

 

I'm thinking a trip to the beach and/or to the pool is definitely in order for tomorrow as well because the weather is supposed to be so darn hot and humid again. Perfect beach day if you ask me! We shall see!

 

I've been pretty productive wedding wise lately too. Quite a few projects either finished and/or started. I know that September is going to be here before I know it and I don't want to become super stressed at that point in time. Ha me, super stressed?! This type A personality doesn't know what that means, lol! I'm a bit of a perfectionist if you didn't already know. I also have a bit of a control freak problem when it comes to certain things. What, you didn't know that either. It's not all things, just most, lol! I just like things to be done a certain way. Well certain things. Other things I could really care less about. So yes, when it comes to the wedding, I have a vision in my mind and I do want certain things to turn out a certain way. Can you blame me?

Sometimes, though, I sit back and wonder, what is all the fuss about? It is just ONE stinking day in the grand scheme of things. I can see maybe if the couple hadn't been together as long as Jay and I have that it would be extra special and the start of the rest of their lives together; however, given the fact that we have been together for the last 10 years (almost) and that we are saying our vows to each other on our wedding day, it really is just about celebrating for us and not the actual wedding part. I already know I'm committed to him and that he is committed to me, hell, if we weren't, think we would have stayed together this long, haha! So then I wonder, why am I making this out to be something so big and grand?! Why am I putting so much effort into the little things? Then the whole mindset takes a 180 and I say, why not?! Sure, the little things are bound to be forgotten, but I don't want everyone to have a good time. And afterall, it is our wedding day. When else do we get to celebrate with all of our family and have a great time. I continue to get our wedding replies back and it just makes me smile that so much of our family wants to join in our celebration with us. I have high hopes that it will be a grand celebration. It may not be black tie and super elegant, but that isn't Jay or myself. We want laid back true family fun! We want lots of dancing and kids there. We want it to just be a big party! I just want to celebrate with our family and friends all together! 

 

CIAO! LOVE ME!