{last day}

Sunday, April 13, 2014

Today marks the last day of me being pregnant and our last day as a family of three. Not that any of you know quite yet... Well I suppose that a few of you might already know, but we haven't told all that many people about our induction date, mostly just the important people that needed to know because of Ayden and the dog and then a few friends because we all know that I can't keep my mouth shut when I have exciting news. Hey, at least I haven't spilled the name yet and Jay already told his boss! Lol! I don't blame him. And if we are being honest, I did tell one of my patients, but she was from the Saukville office and I know she doesn't know any of my family to tell anyone else so the secret was safe with her.

Am I ready to be a mom to children and not just one child? I am not so sure about that right now. As much as I've wanted this pregnancy to fly by for the majority of it, here I sit the day before baby is most

likely going to be born (I say most likely because it totally could still happen today, but at this point I am not going to keep my hopes up) and I'm sort of freaking out a little bit. Oh, I am MORE than ready to have my body back, knowing full well that even the week or so after he is born is bound to have me. Of feeling normal yet, but it has been ten years since I've had a baby and what if I don't remember anything? Of course I've held babies in that time, but not often and typically not for long. It is definitely different when it is your own baby. I'm not in full on freak out mode though so that is good...right? Haha! I am very excited. 

The closer the time comes to tomorrow the more nervous I am becoming about the actual labor and delivery part though. It is something that I haven't been nervous about this entire pregnancy...knowing that I've survived it once before (who knows how, lol) and that my body knows what to do. I am not the 'hero' type and I fully intend on getting the epidural as soon as they will allow me. I don't like pain, I don't handle it well and I personally will find no gratification in trying to go natural. Props to those who can or want to and do, good for them. I don't judge their decisions and I hope they don't judge mine... Same goes for any other parenting technique. Everyone has something that works best for them and I say good for you! 

But before this turns into some sort of parenting post, back to the whole labor thing. Like I said, I am nervous about it, but I just try to keep thinking about the outcome of it all and that it will be worth it in the end. Plus, I'd like to think that I am at least just a tiny bit prepared because I've been having rather uncomfortable, sometimes take your breath away practice contractions for days now... To the point where I've wished they would become more consistent and painful to start the actual labor process. To no avail though. Although (and forewarning, this may be TMI for some) at my last doctor visit, my doctor did say that I had progressed from one centimeter dilated to about three and I was eighty percent thinned and that baby's head was pretty low (but I could have told her that because the pelvic pressure is insane right now) out so my body is headed in the right direction! That just means three less centimeters that I have to go before I get to see my new tiny man.

We are kind of soaking up our last day as a family of three. The weather has been pretty crappy this weekend, so we haven't been able to get outside really, but better now and this coming week when I probably won't want to go outside than this past week or the week after. This past week was actually pretty nice and there were several occasions when I just sat outside with Drake watching him play because it was so nice and I couldn't stand sitting inside any longer. We even took the plastic off of our windows finally and opened them up for a few hours each day. It definitely felt nice... Well as nice as it can feel at nine months pregnant, lol! 

This week was kind of the breaking point for me. I had intended on working through Thursday this week, but ended up having last week be my last week. I was in just too much pain by the end of the day, having contractions on my entire drive home (which is 45 minutes) and took almost five minutes to get from my car to inside the house when I got home because my hips hurt so bad. Side note,we have stairs that I need to climb to get in our house and that was super painful so that is why it took so long. Plus, mentally I was done. Literally every little thing was bothering me and my attitude was horrible. I felt bad for my coworkers having to deal with me, but per usual they were great! Miss them already and honestly, would I have been better physically and mentally this week I would have rather been at work because I enjoy it usually and the week just drug on by! I am ready to enjoy a few weeks off with the baby though!

Keep your eyes open for tiny man's birth story!

CIAO! LOVE ME