Will Power...

(Started yesterday, finished today… like usual for the last couple of weeks.)

It's lunch time here at my clinic placement (although it will be night
time by the time I actually get home and finish this up at post it), so
I thought instead of taking the last half hour that I have to read like
I usually do, I would get some blogging done since it seems like I've
put that on the back burner as of late. Well, actually... it's just that
I don't feel much like going on the computer after getting home from a
long day of clinic and this weekend I haven't been on my computer much either. It's just nice because it seemed like during the school
semester, I was on my computer ALL day EVERY day. And I was pretty much so it's been a nice computer break for a few weeks so far.

So... about my blog title... will power... it takes a LOT of will power
to diet and exercise on a daily basis and I've found that my will power
decreases on the weekends when I am home all of the time. During the
week while I am gone all day, I have no way to snack on all of the junk
food in the house so I'm not taking in all of the extra calories, but
over the course of the last four days that I've had off... my will power
lacked, at least on the diet front. I exercised all four days that I had
off so at least that was good. The thing is, it is depressing to see the
scale go up. On Friday morning, the scale said 121.4... super duper, I
haven't gotten below 122 yet so that was awesome. What was even better was that on Saturday morning the scaled said 120.8! Wowsers! I was super excited because I didn't think I would be able to get that low. How awesome!

My awesomeness lasted for all of one day because by Sunday the scale was back up to 123.4... where it subsequently was yesterday morning and this morning as well. BUMMER! But... despite the fact that I have been exercising, I've been overeating as well. I haven't been gorging myself and eating everything in sight, but I haven't turned things down either. I had some healthy portions for supper (albeit not going back for
seconds) and then I would have a 100 calorie pack for dessert when I
knew that I wasn't really hungry and didn't need it. I let myself down
and it sucked.

We are getting some family pictures taken this weekend and it is my goal
to be back to or under 120.8 by Saturday. If that means exercising and
no dessert this week, then so be it! I know that less than three pounds
isn't going to make a difference how I look in our pictures, but it is a
self esteem thing, you know?! I also know that every day cannot be a
perfect day and that it is okay to spurge every now and then, but that I
cannot be doing that every day. The thing that I know I am going to have the hardest time with is once I am done with clinic and home with Ayden all afternoon. I think we are going to have to keep ourselves pretty busy so that I don't eat junk food all day long everyday and just put the pounds back on. I've done really good these last two months and have kept the 10lbs that I've lost off plus a little more on my good days. Haha!

What is even better is that Jay has lost 15 lbs now too! I'm super
excited for him and I know that he is happy with himself as well and
feels better about himself. I just need to make sure that he keeps up
with it and the weight keeps coming off. He's only got about 35 more to
go before he's at what I think would be the ideal weight for him and I
think that he can pull it off!

I had a great four day weekend! My work had a furlough day on Friday so even if I wanted to go in and work I couldn't, so I enjoyed the day at
home alone doing some laundry and reading. We skipped Ayden's soccer on Saturday morning because it was kind of rainy out (even though they still held it) and because I really didn't feel like getting out of bed that early. Ayden didn't mind. I actually let the final decision up to him and if he had wanted to go, we would have gotten up and went, but he said he wanted to stay home. We did a little bit of running around
Saturday picking up a few things and then worked around the house.
Sunday was a lazy kind of day and Jay's friend, JT, from Minnesota came over that night because he was going to join us at the races on Monday and go golfing with Jay and Ayden.

All of the boys headed out bright and early yesterday morning to go
golfing while I got to sleep in and get the morning to myself where I
worked out and got some more reading in. It was nice, although the
weather was super warm. Yesterday afternoon we all went to the same
races that we went to about a week ago and sweated our patooties off in
the scorching sun. Ayden and I sun blocked it up and managed to get only a little sun burnt while Jay and JT were 'manly' men and didn't put any on and got burnt pretty bad. JT got it the worst on the back of his
neck... poor guy! Or NOT since I told him he should have put some on.
His problem, haha!

I think I might have mentioned that Jay got a new job... if not, I did
now, hehe! He starts in a few weeks after he finishes up at his current
place. He is excited and I am excited for him. The one downside though
is that depending on where I end up for my fourth year externship, we
may or may not end up having to move and then he'll only have about one year in at the new place. I suppose we will wait and see... that is
about all that we can do. I probably won't know my fourth year
externship until next January or February which is in the middle of
winter. I cannot believe that I am going to be applying for fourth year
externships this coming fall already, it's nuts! It's like applying for
college all over again for the third time, lol! And really, in reality,
I cannot believe that I am going to be a third year graduate student
this fall. Where have the last two years gone? Really... where have the
last seven years gone because Ayden is going to be SEVEN years old this August. My baby REALLY is no longer a baby! Shed a few tears with me, would ya?!

Okay, on to the part that I am writing today to finish up this post. I am sitting on the couch ready to catch up on last weeks episode of The Real World that I forgot was on last week and then ready to watch the season finale after that. I’m having to DVR another show that is premiering tonight because obviously I cannot watch two shows at once. Oh well, haha!

I only had a half day of clinic today, well really less than that since we had to be ‘out of there’ by 11am so my supervisor could make it to where she needed to be by noon. It was nice, although I didn’t get to finish up my notes for the day so I will have to finish them up tomorrow morning. I suppose that that is okay. I could have come home and enjoyed the afternoon to myself, but I was the responsible person and let my boss know that I would be in for a few hours this afternoon to help her get caught up on the stuff that I haven’t been able to do while I am in clinic all day. And I know that she really appreciated it because I was able to get a long done for her. They are coming up on there yearly audit so everything has to be in uber order and I am just the person to do that for her. And as much as I wanted to just go home and probably take a nap… it felt good to go back into work and get some stuff done. I’ll be going back in on Friday afternoon as well.

It’s been another good week so far, although I’ve only put in one and a half days this week, lol! It’s all good, right?!

CIAO! LOVE ME!