{in transition}

I still feel like I am in transition with my life right now and it is sort of bumming me out. I feel like a part of me, a big part of me, is still stuck in Stevens Point waiting for the rest of me to come back and for like to pick back up like normal. And we all know that that isn't going to happen. We are Chilton residents for good... at least for the next year. I've said it a bazillion times already, I know, but I will say it again, it STILL feels unreal.

I have started my externship and I have to say that it does not feel like I will be at this place for the next year. A solid year! Last summer I did my summer placement at the VA and I did my placement five days a week for five weeks in order to get it done and over with almost by the time that Ayden was done with school so we wouldn't have to worry about child care costs during the summer. Going to my placement five days a week wasn't too bad. I managed to get through it and I actually liked it. I got into a routine with it, but I also knew that it was only for five weeks and that the end was in sight soon. I have to say that it did drag when I would get home at 5pm and the night was almost over, but like I just said, it was for a short period of time.

I am still trying to wrap my mind around working full time, haha! What does that mean? In the back of my mind I knew that at some point I would graduate from school and life would become 'real' in the sense that I would no longer be a student. But this working full time thing?! Is it going to be for me? We all know that I am not the type of person who could be a stay at home mom. That job is just not for me. I would not be completely happy and my kids would not be completely happy. It just wouldn't work for OUR family. Maybe at some point in the future we will be financially stable enough for my to only work part time because I think that could work. I honestly have to say that I HATE leaving Ayden for the full day. I get home at 5pm or later every night and it leaves us SO little time together. I think the perfect job would be the one that started just after the kids started school in the morning and ended just before the kids got home in the afternoon. A girl can wish, right?!

In the meantime, I will fully embrace my externship and try to take as much from it that I can so that it will be a rewarding experience and I will be a well rounded audiologist when I graduate. I am looking forward to everything that this next year is going to bring and my supervisor must already love me because she already ordered some business cards with my name on them. Please explain to me why I need business cards. Even so though, the thought was awesome and I fully love her for it! All in all, even though there are things that I am going to have to get used to, I am fully in love with my placement so far (despite the getting home a little later than I would like most days).

I am also starting to love our house a little more, even given the fact that a small part of me is still suck in Stevens Point. I am trying to embrace this Chilton thing, hehe! I think I’ve seen my mom more in the last two weeks than I’ve seen of her all of last year! Can’t complain about that! Speaking of my mom, she informed me last weekend that her and her husband have decided to get a divorce. It was kind of out of no where, but if we are being honest here, I am surprised it didn’t come sooner. In any case, I support whatever she decides to do with her life as long as she will be happy in the end. That is all that matters. She’s supported me unconditionally in all things (it is kind of a parent thing) and it is only right that I return it.

Our house is ever slowly turning into a home. We do not have a garage at the new place. It is a storage area under the house and it doesn’t even have a cement floor. As we were moving all of the boxes into it a few weeks ago I have to admit that I was slightly worried how we would manage to get everything we had in our old garage to fit into the new storage area. And I wasn’t the only one with that worry as I heard more than a few people who were helping us comment on it. But today, Jay and myself got down to business and organized the ‘garage’ and low and behold… we have EMPTY shelves! I think helps that all of Jay’s tools are being stored in the basement and we are getting rid of a bunch of stuff at rummage sales in the coming weeks. We were also very productive and priced a lot of the stuff we want to sell. We have quite a bit left to price, but even still, it was a good start. Both Jay and I called it a very productive day!

Yesterday was more of a lazy day at our place. We had all intentions of being productive, but after we ran to Appleton for a few things, we got home and my sister stopped over and then Ayden and I went to my dad’s house and then we all went out to eat at HuHot for supper for my sister’s birthday. HuHot was delicious, even more so when my dad offers to pay! So nice of him!

However, HuHot was definitely not on my list of pre-approved meals, haha! I admit, I have been terrible this past week when it comes to eating, but only after I get home. I eat a good breakfast and lunch and then gorge myself when I get home and then I haven’t worked out in two weeks. Gah! I really need to get back on track and guess what, there is no time like the present. I ate good today and I even went and rollerbladed a few miles around the track behind our house. It wasn’t super long, but it felt good to get out and be active again. Plus, I had to see how much my endurance has gone down in the last two weeks because the crazy person inside of me decided to sign up for a fitness boot camp at 5:30am on Monday mornings. Argh! What did I get myself into?! Be prepared for a full on account in my next post!

I really want to make a habit of blogging more. I don’t even think I blogged ten times in May! Boo on that one! My goal for the month of June is to blog at least 15 times! That is about once every other day. I am going to try hard to accomplish that!

It feels really good to be living together as a family again full time. It seems like Ayden and myself living apart from Jay was SO long ago. We found our groove all being together really fast and honestly, I can atone for the fact that absence makes the heart grow fonder because I feel like Jay and I have been a lot closer lately. I also feel like we are each making more of an effort to get along with each other and show each other that we care. We sort of drifted apart while we were not living together and then we would argue when we were together on the weekends and it was just not healthy for us. But things have been good for the last week.

With that, I think I am going to put a few more things away before I call it a night… after all, I have a 5:15am wake up call in the morning!

CIAO! LOVE ME!