{indifferent}

(Wednesday)

Even though life continues to move along at warp speed around me, I've been kind of feeling indifferent lately. I continue to have thoughts upon thoughts upon thoughts go through my head, but I'm not quite sure how I feel about everything right now. I'm kind of having a 'woe is me' week, even though I don't have anything that I need to complain about. It is kind of like an out of body experience as I sit back and watch myself go through the motions every day. I can't say anything in particular has been bothering me, but I feel like I'm being very fake this week with my emotions and trying to put on a smiley face for everyone. Granted, it wouldn't be very professional of me to respond to a patient when they ask how I'm doing with something like, 'Oh you know, life sucks this week.' So yeah, the days are just kind of continuing by.

I didn't work out yesterday and I know my mood is suffering today because of that. But I also knew that I needed to take the day off yesterday. Apparently I rocked ChaLEAN Exteme something hardcore on Monday when I was doing the squats with 15 lbs dumb bells in each arms, because damn, my legs sure felt it yesterday and are still sore today. You know the kind of sore I am talking about if you work out at all. It's a good sore, but one that I knew would not let me get in a decent run yesterday. So, I relaxed and let my legs rest.

I set a goal for myself at the beginning of November that I would run 75 miles this month. As of right now, I am 12.73 miles short of that goal. I have until Friday to finish those 12.73 miles and believe you me, I WILL hit 75 miles by the end of the day Friday. I refuse not to when I have come this close. Throughout the month of November, so far my average running pace is 9 minutes 57 seconds per mile. People, that is UNDER a 10 minute mile! Not by much, but still! I have run a total of 10 hours 19 minutes so far in November. The plan for tonight is at least 5 miles, but I may stretch it and go for six. We shall see...

My eating since Thanksgiving has been kind of off too. For a while there the scale was starting to be my friend again, and then this morning again after breakfast and my shower it wasn't. I tried to reason with myself that it was because I had already eaten breakfast and had a towel on that there was that added extra weight, but even so, had I weighed myself before that I'm sure I wouldn't have seen a number that I liked. I try so hard not to become obsessive about it. But it pulls me back in just when I think I've avoided it again.

(Thursday)

Made it 6.2 miles last night. Rocked those 6.2 miles. My favorite part of a run is getting to a point where I know I have been going for a while and not struggling for breath, to be able to just keep going and not be huffing and puffing. It kind of goes back and forth during the run. I was ready to be done last night at the end. I was a little cold. On tonight's agenda... a 7 miler. Typically my really long runs are on the weekend, but with the 5 mile Sleigh Bell Run this Saturday, I think the last thing I will want to do after that is get out and run another two miles. So, putting the long run tonight. Kind of looking forward to it. I downloaded a new playlist last night and I really got into it. Love running with the music pulsing through my veins. It gives me a lot of time to think.

I am ready for the week to be over though.

Just because.

Just tired. I was in bed by 8pm last night and I was asleep by 8:30pm. And I slept soundly through the night until 5:50am when my alarm went off and got out of bed still tired. I thought working out at night was supposed to keep me awake longer. These runs at night, especially the long ones, they kill me and I am out for the count. I'm not complaining about the quality of my sleep because it has been good or even the quantity because I am getting on average anywhere between the recommended 8-9 hours of sleep per night, but dang if I didn't want just a little bit more each night. Alas I don't get it right now. Haha! That's what weekends are for, right?!

CIAO! LOVE ME!

{run, don't walk}

Saturday was my longest run to date.

7.2 miles.

I ran 7.2 miles.

OMG!

I was nervous starting out because I knew it was going to be a long run and I was worried that I would not be able to make it. I set out to run only as far I could make my body go. Seven miles or not, I wouldn't push past my breaking point.

The weather was cold... 22 degrees. Ugh! Hate the cold, but actually, running in it is becoming easier. The colder it is though, the more difficult I find it to get my breath. I started out and ran good for the first 3 miles. At that point I had to stop and walk for about a minute. I was bumming at that point. I wasn't even halfway through and already I had to walk. Ugh again.

After my quick walking break I picked back up and told myself that when I had made it another almost three miles, I could stop and walk again. I had a place in my mind where I would let myself walk. I got to that point and kept going. Just after the six mile marker I walked again for probably a minute. At this point I was going up a pretty steep hill and knew that if I wanted any sort of endurance after the hill that I should walk up it. I got up the hill and pounded out the last 1.2 miles. I got home and couldn't believe I had just run 7.2 miles... in an hour and 11 minutes. My average pace was just around 9:54! My knees were feeling it afterwards and so I took to my foam roller for a little bit. I know I should have rolled them out more, but it hurt too much. I wasn't as sore for the rest of the day as I thought I might be, but still sore.

It was hard to get off my lazy bum today and get my three miles in, but I did. I got up, got out, and ran and felt good.

My training continues to progress. Sometimes I wish it were easier, but the best rewards in life are never easy, are they?

Two five mile runs on deck for this week and then the Sleigh Bell Run on Saturday. Because the Sleigh Bell Run is only five miles and my scheduled run for Saturday is supposed to be 7 miles, I think I might make my Thursday night run seven to make up for it. We shall see...

I've enjoyed a bunch of days off from work. I've needed it to recharge a little bit, but now I am ready for our routine again. I think both Ayden and I are unconsciously craving it. I've definitely gotten my fill of Lifetime movies lately. Now it's time to get back to seeing patients. I know that I am going to blink and Christmas will be here and I am excited about that. I've had a great time these past few days getting to see all of my family members so much and catch up with them. It really has been a great time. I have the best family and extended family.

Another note worth mentioning because I can...

If you know me at all, you know my hatred for cooking and the fact that I'm not all that great at it. Well, yesterday I made some banana bars and let me tell you... they turned out DELICIOUS! OMG again! This was the first time I made them (new recipe) and they are SO moist and yummy! I LOVE banana bread, but I don't think I am going to ever have Jay make that again when we can have these bars! I could eat the whole pan and need to contain myself because I know for a fact that the scale would not be so kind to me if I were to do that. I had already over indulged a bit yesterday at Thanksgiving with my family, the food was just TOO good!

Ready for the week!

CIAO! LOVE ME!

{giving thanks}

It's been a busy couple of days lately and so I feel like I have a lot to blog about and have had a continuous roll going through my head of what I want to blog about, but haven't been motivated enough (until now) to actually sit down and get it out. The same kind of goes with reading a book. I have been wanting to read a good book for a couple of weeks now, but I haven't yet found one that has intrigued me enough to actually start. I get this feeling every now and then when I haven't read anything good in a while. I love to read and miss it after a couple of months of being busy with everything else that life has to offer. So, I was hoping with a few days off from work that I might be able to get at least one book in. Not yet.

Anyways, the week started out good. I was excited because I only had to work on Monday and Tuesday. Ayden had off school on Wednesday, so I took off work as well so I would not have to find a babysitter. Monday was pretty busy at work, but it made the day go pretty fast. I got up Tuesday morning and got ready like normal and then got to work and about halfway through our first patient I started to feel really off. I started to feel really light headed and then too warm, but my fingers were ice cold. Just not feeling like myself. I know stupid TOM had something to do with it. My supervisor is great and sent me home. I got home and proceeded to take a three hour nap. I hardly ever nap anymore. It was a pretty lazy day.

My workout schedule this week included some ChaLEAN Extreme on Monday which I pounded out at almost 8pm... on deck for Tuesday was supposed to be a 5 mile run, but due to my not feeling well I paired it back to three miles. I know that TOM didn't have everything to do with my not feeling well and that another part of it is that I have been pushing myself pretty hard lately. I knew I probably should not have run at all on Tuesday, but when your mindset it to get out and do it and your body is telling you no, it is so hard not to. In any case, I did a slow three miles and felt okay. I didn't not want to run at all because I had a 5 mile Turkey Trot on Thursday.

On Wednesday, Ayden and I slept in and it felt great. We ended up making some cake pops which turned out super yummy! We took them to Thanksgiving yesterday and didn't come home with any so that is good, right?! We have a pretty good technique down when it comes to making the cake pops, so despite them being a little more work, we had fun! After lunch my bestie Victoria and her son Parker came over for a while. We all went for a walk and the boys played together while Victoria and I chatted it up. Living closer to my bestie and her son is never going to get old! I hope that our boys grow up being as great of friends as Victoria and I are. Speaking of her, we are doing a Sleigh Bell Run next weekend together. It is going to be Victoria's first run. She is doing the 2 mile run and I am doing the 5 mile one. She has been working just as hard as me, if not harder, on her training and I cannot wait to see her rock this run!

Wednesday night, my mom, sister, and I went to go see Twilight's Breaking Dawn Part 2. Good movie. Not great. I've managed to read the book at least three times now and I loved it each time, but the movie kind of had me wanting for me. I think I expected just a little bit more from it. I was glad that we all went to go see it, and like I said, it was good. It is probably just because the franchise has come to an end now. It has definitely come a long way from the first movie too.

While at the movie I ended up having some of my mom's Mountain Dew and the stupid caffeine kept me from getting a decent nights sleep. That and the fact that I was pretty nervous about the Turkey Trot. I have run five miles in a row on a few occasions now, but a five mile run... that freaked me out just a little bit. So, coupled with the soda and nerves, I got much less sleep than I wanted and had to get up early Thursday morning.

The Turkey Trot was awesome. We had amazing weather! I went to two of Jay's cousins and a friend of theirs. We all rocked it. The wind was a pain in the butt for some of it, but I hit a personal record. I finished 5 miles in 47 minutes 52 seconds with an average pace of 9:35/mile. That is UNDER a 10 minute mile people for 5 miles! I couldn't believe it. My goal was to finish in 50 minutes, but I did a full 2 minutes and 8 seconds faster than I wanted too... all without walking ANY of it! I can almost guarantee you that my race this coming weekend will take longer because of the colder weather, but that is okay. I am not worried about it. Under an hour would make me happy.

After the Turkey Trot it was back home to shower and off to my dad's side of the family for Thanksgiving. It was a great time with them... seeing everyone and catching up before we had to head to Jay's parent's house for a little gathering. Lots of yummy food at both places and I am proud to say that I didn't overeat too much at either place.

Instead of going home to bed after that, my mom, sister, and I once again got together and this time we hit up some Black Friday shopping deals... only it was still Thursday. We headed out at 8pm and I ended up crawling into bed at 3:00am... a full 22 and a half hours after I got up for the day. I was TIRED, but we had a lot of fun shopping! We hit up Target, Walmart, and Kohls and it was insane! We didn't end up seeing anything really crazy. Surprisingly enough most people were being pretty nice. The lines to check out were the worst part, but having someone to talk to during the wait definitely made it easier. We also scored some good deals which made it worth it. The traffic wasn't super bad either and my sister did a good job driving.

Because we did our shopping last night, the majority of today was spent lounging on the couch in front of the TV watching Lifetime movies. I am so sore and beat from yesterday that I couldn't get myself to get up and do anything else. I suppose that is what tomorrow is for.

I have a seven mile run that I want to complete tomorrow... hoping the wind dies down a little bit to make it easier for me. I know our nice warm weather is all but gone, but the wind makes it even worse. Ugh! And then I have some banana bars to make for my mom's side Thanksgiving gathering... and on the books for Sunday... more lounging, probably some laundry and cleaning. Typical weekend stuff before another work week starts. And maybe tonight I will find a good book to read...

CIAO! LOVE ME!

{over 100 miles}

*Written Monday, posted Tuesday.*

 

I started this thing called running exactly 76 days ago. 76 days! I have kept up with something for 76 days! First, that in and of itself is pretty amazeballs. Secondly, in that 76 days I have run OVER 100 miles. According to my Nike+ tracker I have ran 93 miles in the last 76 days; however, there were runs that I did not track with the Nike+ tracker and I can guarantee that those runs were over 6 miles when added together, thus getting me over 100 miles. I am in awe. 100 freaking miles people! Yes, maybe I am gloating again. Okay, not maybe, but I am damn proud of myself! 100 miles!

 

This past weekend was another 6 mile run. It went as well as can be expected I suppose. I had every intention of getting in 6.3 (the same run I did the weekend before), but I just couldn't push out that last 0.3. I was good through the first 5 miles. I envisioned the whole run in my head as I was running and could see myself coming to the finish, but that last mile was mostly uphill and against the wind and it really took a lot out of me. I probably wasn't hydrated enough either which didn't help, but I came up to my street and knew if I turned down it and got to my house it would be exactly six miles and that if I kept going straight to go around the block yet, it would give me the 0.3 I wanted, but I just couldn't. Six miles is six miles and is better than sitting on the couch and not running at all.

 

I need to give another shout out to my future mother in law and my mom for taking on Ayden duty this weekend. Jay's mom took Ayden to bowling while I had a photoshoot Saturday morning. We could not have asked for better weather. It was amazing and the family was SO much fun to work with! Afterwards I headed home and got there just as they were getting back from bowling. Chilled with and made lunch for the little man. In the early afternoon my mom stopped over to pick up some movies and took Ayden to the store with her to pick out his prize for getting a 100% on his latest spelling test and I got out for my six miler. Once again, I got home just as they were getting home. It was very nice of both of our parents to do that for us/me this weekend. And then I got a run in yesterday as well, as Ayden spent a little while at grandma and grandpa's house making some bird feeders.

 

Before the trip to grandma and grandpa's though, Ayden and I headed out with my bestie, Victoria, and her son, Parker to Ledge View and took a nature walk. I mean, seriously people, the weather we have been having has been amazing. 50 degrees in the middle of November! How could you not want to go outside?! We had a great time together climbing the tower, traversing some cliffs, and winding our way through the forest... and taking lots of pictures!

 

I had the best intentions of doing some weight lifting last night instead of going for a run, but when Ayden left and I had the house to myself I just couldn't sit inside and let the good weather go to waste. I needed to get back out there. So after a long walk in the woods, I headed out for my three mile Sunday run. I finished those three miles in my best time yet with an average pace of 9:54. That is less than a 10 minute mile, not by much, but still! I rocked it. And after that... after that I text Jay to bring some home chocolate for me, haha! I needed a good candy bar after that, hehe! And he didn't disappoint. Apparently the gas station was having a sale, so he brought home two of four different candy bars. Um, temptation much?! Haha!

 

Tonight... no run, just weight lifting. Need to focus on the arms tonight. Five mile run tomorrow. Rest day/another fun day with Victoria and the kids Wednesday, and my 5 mile Turkey Trot run on Thursday, with some swimming Friday, and a 7 mile run on the books for Saturday!

 

CIAO! LOVE ME!

{almost husband}

The man I am going to spend the rest of my life with does not get the credit on my blog (or sometimes in real life) that he so deserves. If anything, the majority of 'air time' he gets on here is when I am bitching and moaning about something that he did. But believe it or not, I do love him more than it probably shows.

Many many times I use my blog as a venting outlet. If you've known me in real life for any amount of time, you might know that although I have a lot of close friends, I'm not always the type to pick up a phone to let out some frustrations. I write about it and unfortunately for Jay, I happen to write about it on an open blog for everyone to see. And then... then I post the blog link on Facebook where people we both know can easily click on the link and then read about our failures in our relationship. Sometimes the happy good things get passed on by and just need to bitch it out to someone or something versus keeping it in.

I never really got his insistence on why he does not like that I write about our imperfect life for everyone to see... that is until this weekend. I don't often go back and reread my posts after I write them. I blog spur of the moment most times and when I am in an especially pissed off mood, I just let the fingers do the talking.

During an argument this weekend, Jay brought up the fact that I had told him a while ago that I would no longer blog about our personal life on my blog and I recently had. Do I air all of our 'dirty laundry'?! Hell no. We are not perfect, I do not strive to pretend on this blog that we are perfect. But did I follow what I had told him I would do. No. I don't think Jay reads my blog every time I post, but I could be wrong. I do know that he read a post that I did about a recent argument and I did not paint him in the greatest light. I won't deny that what I wrote was how I was feeling at the time, but I went back and reread the post after the fact and felt bad for what I had written. Not only is Jay a great guy, but he is also a great father. We all falter at times... I suppose that I am just more eager to jump at his mishaps than I am to own up to my own.

I do regret what I wrote and honeykins, if you happen to be reading this... I'm sorry. I don't know if it matters after the fact, but I am starting to see your point now.

Will that keep me from using my blog as an outlet, probably not. Will it help me be aware of what I am writing and how I am writing it, yes.

I could not be more blessed to have someone by my side who wholeheartedly accepts all of my wonderfulness and all of my many faults. And let me tell you, I have many a fault and yet each time I start an argument (because let's be honest here friends, I do start most of the arguments), Jay is the one making sure we resolve it. My biggest fault is holding things in and admitting that I am in the wrong, and yet Jay still stands by me day in and day out. If I were him I don't know that I would still be with me, and yet he still stays.

In the last nine years of being together we had one really rough patch pretty early on where we almost called it quits. Where we were at a point that neither of us really knew if we wanted to make it work, but we pushed through and came out for the better on the other side.

All of that being said, I couldn't be more blessed to have found my prince and cannot wait to continue growing old together and hopefully adding to our family!

CIAO! LOVE ME!  

{support}

It's no lie that throughout many different aspects of our lives we need the support and love from those close to us. Whether it be during a hard class, a down time in our life, or something like fitness.

I have been blessed to have the family and friends in my life to help support me through life even when I don't think I can make it through. Yeah for awesome family.

The support that I want to talk about with this post, is the support that comes from those while someone is working on their fitness. (Oh joyous, another fitness related post, hehe!)

It's definitely no secret that I am WAY into fitness right now. I thoroughly enjoy buying workout clothes more than anything else right now. What?! NO WAY! I mean come on people, if you didn't know that, then where have you been. Almost every status update on Facebook of mine right now is about fitness. Almost every picture I upload to Instagram right now has to do with a run of mine. (Self centered much, maybe, haha! No, actually really just proud of my accomplishments so far, so aren't I allowed to post that kind of stuff. Okay, back on topic here...)

Anyways, I am lucky enough to have a fiance that supports my wanting to work out. I mean yeah, he does give me a hard time about it every now and then, but totally in a joking manner. Case in point, he was joking with me the other night after my 4.5 (yes, that 0.5 matters, lol) mile run that that was too short and I should be running 10 miles by now. But it was totally a joke and I knew that. That is just the way he is. I need to take it or leave it. And I love that he stands behind me and does not grudgingly watch me leave for a run while he is at home with the kid. He sometimes is the one pushing me out the door to go when I am not motivated enough.

But the kind of support that I want to focus on in this post is the support that you can receive from friends or family who are going through the same thing as you. I am blessed enough to have the best friends in the world. And here comes shout out time... my friends Victoria and Kristi are currently working on their fitness as well and I could not be more proud of them! They are both doing great! What's so awesome is that if any of us is having a bad fitness/eating day, we know we can just pick up the phone and call or text each other and there will be someone on the other end that knows what it feels like. Fitness is no joke, even for those already in great shape. Well, maybe it is a little bit easier for them. The rest of us are still trying to make it a permanent life change. We all slip up every now and then and to have someone in our corner saying that's okay, but make tomorrow better. Someone pushing us even when we are feeling lazy. Someone in our back corner rooting for us to succeed!

I've talked about going to Zumba with Victoria these last couple of weeks. (Btw, Kristi and I totally did Zumba together a few times as well back when we both lived in Point and loved it!) If it were not for Victoria going with me, I know for a fact that I would not have gone. I had the BEST time working out with a friend! I wish our schedules coincided better so we could work out more together or that Kristi and I lived a bit closer! We all have a common goal though and that is to better our health! We all know that there is no such thing as an excuse anymore.

No one ever gets done with a workout and thinks, damn, I wish I hadn't done that. Yes, maybe during the workout you are thinking damn this is hard and I don't want to be doing this, but you push through (hopefully), continually, and get it done! I know during my run last night I kept thinking, why can't this be any easier. I was at about the 3 mile mark and kept thinking, damn I still have 1.5 miles to go. This sucks, I want to stop and walk home. But then I thought, you've made it this far, why not just keep going. You'll make it home in one piece. Just continue to push. One foot in front of the other. Don't let me fool you, my runs still kill me. I can run one mile pretty easily now if I pace myself... even get to two miles, but then I need to push from about two until 3-3 1/2 before I start to really get into it and can feel it again. Once the last half mile is in sight, then I know I can just go. I have a six mile run on deck for tomorrow and I am both looking forward to it and dreading it. I know I can do it. I ran six miles last Saturday. But I also know that it is going to push me to my limit by the end.

No matter what, I do know that at the end of it, I won't be saying, gosh, I wish I hadn't done that. Nope, not me!

CIAO! LOVE ME!

{22 degrees}

I've been having a hard time sitting down and blogging lately... that's because I feel like I have nothing super important, exciting, or otherwise to update everyone on right now. Or the fact that my life has been just jutting along without too many complications and I haven't felt the need to vent in a while. Things have been pretty calm and normal lately. I won't complain about that in the least. Calm and normal. I kind of like that.

Work everyday. Some days better than others, but that's typical. Working out almost everyday, once again, some days better than others. Trying and sometimes successfully eating good. Some days better than others. I mean really, when a patient brings in some Lindt truffles, how can you NOT eat one, or two, or three, haha! I have the best patients! (I may or may not have eaten three, or four, or five yesterday. But hey, today is a new day and I have vowed to keep my hands off any junk food today. So far so good, but when we have a slow day of patients like today, that is kind of hard, haha.)

Jay and Ayden are both doing well.

Our lives have calmed down a little bit these last couple of weeks. I don't feel like we are running around like chickens with our heads cut off all weekend long and that we are able to actually get some stuff done around the house on the weekends and still enjoy some down time. It's the little things in life right now that I am grateful for. When the hustle and bustle gets too busy we forget about everything that is important in our lives. I like to be on the go sometimes, but normally I like calm and quiet. I am not a crowd person. We'll see how I fair being the center of attention on the day of my wedding. Ugh, I just cringe thinking of it. I kid, I kid. Okay, so I only sort of kid.

This past weekend I ran six miles for the first time. Six whole miles without stopping to walk even once. Six miles! Yes, I will type that again, six miles! I couldn't believe it, but I knew I just had to keep going and keep going I did. The weather was pretty great too so that helped. Then I slacked and didn't run the three miles I was supposed to on Sunday and really should have because now it has kind of thrown my whole week out of whack. So, instead of running on Sunday, I ran yesterday. In 22 degree weather with stupid strong cold winds... I ran. I ran three miles. And you know what, I kind of sort of enjoyed it. I knew it was going to be a short run. Wait, since when do I consider a three mile run short?! I must be sick or something. Kind of sort of enjoying a 22 degree weather run and thinking that three miles is short.

Just two and a half very short months ago I thought running one mile was going to kill me. Now, I breeze through mile one and most of mile two before it really starts to hit me. I know I've said it before, but I am simply in awe at what the human body can do and what a person can achieve when they set their mind to it. Really! There is no such thing as I can't! There is simply I won't. Excuses don't exist anymore. Really, if you want something bad enough, you get off your lazy ass and go get it. That's it, plain and simple.

That being said, I've been a lazy ass myself this week. We had a crazy busy night last night with parent teacher conferences and swimming lessons for little man and I totally blew off my scheduled run or any other type of workout I could have done. I said piss on it. Oops! I very well could have done a good workout with Jillian Michaels or Chalene Johnson and my TV last night, but I wimped out. I don't know why, but I have just been so tired lately. I am falling asleep by 9/9:30pm most nights. It probably has something to do with the fact that I am going going going most days. I'd love to be able to stay up later, but that 5:50am alarm bell comes way too fast. I mean seriously, we are only talking 8.5 hours of sleep a night! Shut your mouth, I know that that is a lot, but I love me some sleep, haha!

Itching for a run though... going to pound it out tonight!

CIAO! LOVE ME!

{owning it}

Tuesday night I had a great 4.5 mile run. I owned that run. I had every intention of getting out and running as soon as I got home from work; however, since Jay wasn't home quite yet I couldn't do that. Typically if I do not get out and run as soon as I get home the motivation for me to get out and run decreases and I start to make excuses about why I don't have to go.

Tuesday night I didn't make any excuses. Thankfully Jay got home about a half hour after Ayden and I did and it wasn't super late, so I laced up the running shoes and hit the pavement. I started out strong and was feeling good. I wasn't going really any faster than I normally do, but it just felt so good to get out and run. I hadn't run since Sunday and my run then was just around the track so really not all that motivating.

It was dark by the time I set out then, but the weather was milder (maybe I'm just getting used to the colder weather, but 38 degrees didn't seem that cold to me as I really got into it), and I just went. Per the usual, I cranked the music and let it carry me away. About 2.5 miles in I started to feel it and I knew that the second half of my run is more uphill than down, but I pushed through. I told myself that I just had to keep going. There did come a point about 3.5 miles in where I had to stop and walk for about 30 seconds because I felt like I couldn't get a deep enough breath, so I listened to my body, walked for a bit, and then kicked it back into gear. I ran 4.5 miles in 45 minutes. I was proud of myself. I killed it!

Maybe it is the running in the dark thing, but the run went pretty fast (even though it was 45 minutes) and before I knew it, I was on the home stretch.

Every run is created differently and I am fully prepared to know that the next 4.5 mile run will not be the same as the previous nights. It has the same potential to be just as great, even better, or possibly even worse. But I am going to take whatever it brings me and own it! I will own the feeling of euphoria as I start out and make it through the first mile and then the side pain that may or may not set it come mile 4... it is all what you make it and I am all about making it mine!

Case in point, last night's run. Jay and I got into an argument when he got home. A pretty bad one. *Sidenote here because I need to vent a little bit. Bit of back story if you are new to my blog, we recently moved back to our hometown and my dad and his wife take Ayden to school each and every day and pick him up... all without us paying them. (Now, they need to drop their daughter off as well, so what is one more kid. But seriously, they are doing us a HUGE favor, whether or not they think of it like that. And I know that my dad would never think to complain to me about doing it.) In any case, I feel very strongly that the second we can pick Ayden up from my dad's house after either Jay or I are done with work, we should. If we were paying a daycare to watch him or something like that, then I wouldn't feel so bad about it. Last night, Jay got done with work early and instead of picking up Ayden right away, he went hunting. This is the second time this week he has done that. It pissed me off. Royally. I feel like he is taking advantage of the fact that my dad is watching Ayden (whether or not my dad really cares if Ayden is there or not) and that Jay is not being the responsible parent that he should and picking Ayden up right away. I feel that ever since we've moved back closer to family that he is taking more and more advantage of the 'extra help' we can so easily get, whereas when we lived in Point it was always just us. Me on the other hand, I feel that we are the parents and Ayden is our responsibility. It is completely different if someone offers to watch Ayden for us (ie: my sister saying she could take Ayden to my uncle's house on Thanksgiving since Jay and I won't be able to make it) versus us asking someone. Another example... Ayden spent the night at Jay's parent's house last weekend and the next morning I kept getting on his case about when we were going to get Ayden. Despite Jay's mom insistence that it didn't matter when we picked him up (love her for that, I feel that Ayden is not her responsibility) and I kept getting on Jay's case to at least give her a time frame of when we/he would go get him. I mean, isn't that at least the appropriate thing to do, so that she wasn't wondering all day. Whatever though. Jay and I were bitching at each other last night and I just needed to get out and run to burn off the anger.

Anger fuels a run... until you get so wrapped up with it that you burn out. I can't say I was in a much better mood after my run last night than I was when I started, other than the fact that I knew I just burned a ton of calories. I pushed too hard in the beginning because I was so pissed and needed to take a 30 second walk break just before I hit two miles. The rest of the run went pretty smoothly and I felt good afterwards. I think I need to invest in some sort of foam roller though because I could really feel it in my left knee afterwards and I'm scared that as I slowly increase my mileage my knee is going to start hurting more. I've heard from multiple people that foam rollers are a god send... and just maybe I need to start thinking about a short ice bath or shower after my runs. I've heard good things about those too. I just REALLY hate being cold and haven't been brave enough to try one yet. Plus I haven't thought that my mileage was long enough to necessitate one. But probably.

Either way, my running goal for November is 75 miles and as of last night I have reached 20.5 already! I am running four days a week, doing some strength training for my upper body one day and then have decided to do some swimming the other day and finally taking one day off to fully rest.

On the schedule this weekend is a six mile run for Saturday that I won't lie, I am slightly terrified of, a three miler on Sunday, and then Zumba with my bestie! It will be a great weekend, that is for sure!

CIAO! LOVE ME!

{never did i ever}

Call me crazy, but I am contemplating on signing up for a run for every month thru April (and possibly longer). Last month I ran my very first 5K. This month I am signed up to run a Turkey Trot 5 mile run with two of Jay's cousins. On my way to work this morning I saw a sign for a Sleigh Bell 5 mile run for December. I am already registered for a Color Run 5K in January and think I could probably find a Valentine's Day run for February. Check that, just took a break and found one. It is a Seroogey's 15k in February within driving distance. There is a 10 mile run that I want to do in March, and then there is the half marathon I will bust out in April... addicted much?!

Never... NEVER did I ever think I would become a runner and then actually enjoy it... NEVER!

I am in full swing training for my half marathon, full swing being just two weeks in, haha! I have been actively working out EVERY week for the last two months. Typically at this point I get into a rut and then don't want to work out for a while. It has happened before and actually happened this past summer. Not good. But now I have a goal in mind and once that happens I stick to it. I had a goal of completing a 5K and I did and now I am going to complete a half marathon!

Never did I ever think that I would want to head outside for a run in 30 degree weather. NEVER! And okay, so I don't necessarily ever WANT to go outside in the cold weather, but I get up, get dressed in my workout clothes, lace up the awesome running shoes, and then blast some music and head out. It is just me, the pavement, and the music. Some runs are ugly and some runs have become cathartic. And sometimes I even get my best thinking done on them. All I need is that half hour to myself to decompress. There should NEVER be the excuse that you do not have time to work out. If you want something bad enough, you find a way to get it. I find a way to get my half hour in at least most days.

So far, with the Nike+ running app on my phone and the Nike+ Sportband I have logged 61 miles for 19 runs. I have not logged EVERY run with the app, so there is probably at least another 20-25 miles that I have ran since the beginning of September that are unaccounted for. Although lately I have become pretty particular about knowing how much I have run for any given run, so lately I have been pretty diligent about tracking them.

(Pardon me if you are sick of reading about me running. I think you'll survive another few posts, haha!)

This weekend I got my longest run in thus far.

I was shooting for 6.2 miles because I had a virtual 10K that I was a part of on Saturday, but I only made it 5.5 miles before petering out. According to my running schedule I was supposed to only do a 5 mile run, so I surpassed that. I was really pushing it by the end though. This weekend's run is 6 miles though and I am ready to make that run my biotch! Getting used to this running in the cold thing is harder than I thought though. I was pretty super proud of my 5.5 miles though! And then Sunday I busted out another 3 mile run and then an hour of Zumba that night with my bestie, Victoria. Zumba after a 3 mile run, a little harder than I thought it was going to be... that and the fact that we had a new instructor the other night who was totally hyper and did a lot of fast moving songs (which I semi appreciated because I did have a big bowl of ice cream right after lunch on Sunday.)

Last night was a no run night. Instead of running, I worked out with Chalean Johnson of Chalean Extreme and worked on my arm muscles. One of my favorite things to do when it comes to working out is bicep curls. I don't know what it is about them... maybe the fact that they are easier than some of the other moves... don't know, but the particular workout last night had a lot of arm moves. I think I am going to stick with something like that for Monday's. My non running days are Mondays and Wednesdays and then on Fridays I have decided to take the day off.

On Wednesdays I would like to start swimming. Our local indoor pool has adult swimming hours on Wednesday mornings and with Jay starting to go into work a little bit later now, I can head over to the pool for a half hour of swimming before he needs to leave in the morning and get my workout out of the way before the day even starts. Yippee! Tomorrow is my first proposed day to start it and that means getting up just before 5am. I know, that is super early, but I like to swim and haven't gone in a while, so I thought I might be good to incorporate that type of cross training on my non running days. Tonight... tonight, I have a 4 mile run scheduled, but honestly, it is going to end up being a 4.5 mile run because of the specific route I take. I don't really feel like trying to determine a route that is a half mile shorter, so why not just push it out. There is a chance that there is supposed to be some rainy freezing drizzle tonight, but I am keeping my fingers crossed that it holds off. Whatever though I suppose. My run will commence either way.

CIAO! LOVE ME!