{snow day}

At home again with little man, again because of no school, although today is an entire day off. I probably could have found someone to watch him while I went to work, but I am sitting in the living room looking outside and am glad I didn't even try going in this morning. First, because it just looks miserable outside. Second, it probably would have taken me twice as long to get there. Third, even if I did happen to make it safely there, my boss probably would have scolded me for attempting to come in this weather and then sent me back home. Hehe, love her! Honestly, if I were actually getting paid to go to work, I may have made more of an attempt to go, but I'm not. I'm still a student and have plenty of hours already clocked, so I'm not worried about missing. There were four patients on the schedule for today, two of which were just pick ups of repairs/ear molds, and given the weather, I'm almost certain one or more of the appointments were probably cancelled by the patient. I work with the elderly, they do not like to drive in this weather even more than I don't like it! And really, at this point, like I said, since I am not getting paid, my safety comes first, especially when it is a 45 minute drive there on a GOOD day! I have a friend who had to drive over in that area this morning for school (she was already pretty close because of where she works) and she mentioned to me that she saw three accidents on the highway stretch I drive in just the span of ten miles. If I only had to drive ten minutes, then I probably would have attempted to find a sitter for Ayden and gone on in. Call me a winter driving wimp, I don't care. I openly admit that I am a winter driving wimp. I can't stand it. Plus, I have a small car, a small car that doesn't handle well in winter driving.

That said, the little man and I are enjoying a day at home. I had thought about going out sledding on the hill behind our house since I don't actually have to drive anywhere, but the wind is kind of wicked, so I don't know yet. I'd almost rather be at work because it would give me something to do. Sitting at home all day and all I want to do is eat because I'm bored. Maybe I should be working on some wedding planning stuff, hehe!

Speaking of weather... we had some great weather yesterday. Well, not great because it essentially rained all day long, but the temperature was great... it reached almost 50 degrees here in WISCONSIN in JANUARY! That is almost unheard of it. So, inspite of the rain, I knew I was getting outside for a run. We won't have that kind of warm weather again for probably another couple of weeks and now that we are getting another 8 inches of snow, who knows when the sidewalks will be good again. We have a lake in our front yard right now from all of the rain and melting snow yesterday. Maybe it will turn into a nice little skating pond for us with the cold weather that is coming, haha! Can't winter just be over with already?! I am very sick of it! At least we are hopefully on the down hill stretch of it. February is starting this weekend!

My run last night went pretty well even in the rain. I only did three miles as it was raining pretty good by the time I was halfway done and didn't think I should push my luck being outside in the rain for another half hour. It just felt good to be outside. I am planning on trying hot yoga on Friday with Victoria. The first session is free so should I not like it, I won't be out anything! And going with someone I know will help! I have never done yoga so we'll see how it goes. Victoria and I also have plans for a coffee date on Sunday, much needed girl time! I wish the weather would be warmer so we could go for one of our walks... but walking in 20 degree weather is cold. Running in it is cold, walking is colder. Soon... soon... it will be warmer!

Victoria and I are also doing another 5K together. Well, actually our first since I couldn't make the last one due to being deathly ill, okay, not deathly, but it sure felt like it. We are going to make matching shirts! I can't wait! Plus, since this one is at the end of February, I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it will be warmer. Knock on wood, since I probably just jinxed myself!

I know I've mentioned it before, but having Victoria working out now and being healthy has been great. It is so nice to have someone who gets it. Well actually I have 7000+ someones who get it at Fit Camp, but someone that is near and that I was already besties with. I wrote up a Fab Feb Fitness calendar for us each to do everyday and to have someone hold me accountable is great! I've done over 100 push ups/squats/sit ups in the last five days all because I have someone who I know is waiting for me to tell her that I've gotten it done, who is behind me 100%! Love ya chica! Jay may love Chilton because it's 'home' and close to family... I love it because you're right down the road again! Come this summer, we will be running together again and not just around the track!

As for the rest of this week, other than the hot yoga, I'm hoping to get at least one more run in... tomorrow night and probably on the 'shred'mill... hoping for 5 or 6 miles. And after hot yoga on Friday I'm planning on taking little man and Alexis swimming. This weekend, it's bowling for Ayden in the morning on Saturday and bowling for Jay and me on Saturday night, and mommy date on Sunday, with maybe a run on one of those days too. We shall see...

CIAO! LOVE ME!

{two hour delay}

It is Monday morning, 8am, and I am still at home. No, I do not have the day off. No, little man is not still sick (well he is still kind of congested and sniffing the snot up instead of blowing it out which leads to it going down his throat and leads too coughing, but not sick enough to keep home from school). So then why am I still home on this Monday morning?! The weather.

Little man does have a two hour delay for school and thus I am home with him until school starts. I could have dropped Ayden off at my dad's house per usual, as his wife had already called in to work to stay home with Alexis for the two hour delay, but I decided not to. Jay called me this morning after he got to work and informed me that the roads were not very pretty yet and since I do have a 45 minute drive to work and not just a 5 minute drive, I decided to play it safe and just stay home for a few extra hours. My boss/supervisor is extremely understanding in cases like this. I'm pretty sure she'd rather have me alive and safe versus in a ditch somewhere.

We had a good weekend here at our house. I went shopping with my sister and cousins for bridesmaid dresses and we found the ones. Yes, I said ones. My sister will be wearing one and my cousins another... same designer though so same color. I love them both and cannot wait. Sort of got me into wedding planning mode again, sort of. I've been very anti wedding planning lately just because it is so much to think about and I'm really not wanting the stress right now. I know I need to be semi planning and what not, but at this point I just want to be married. If I could afford it, I'd pay someone to make all of the decisions for me so I could just show up and have fun, haha!

After getting home Saturday afternoon, Ayden and I hung out together playing some Wii bowling. Then Ayden proceeded to watch the last 1/3 of the last Transformer movie about four times while reenacting it with his own legos. It was definitely a site to see! Too cute! I watched maybe the first two times before needing to do something else, haha!

Sunday was our semi lazy day. We all slept in and then did some grocery shopping and menu planning for the week. Our biggest problem every night is figuring out what to make for supper. It is definitely nice to have this week planned out already! I don't know why we don't do this more often! I had wanted to get in a run outside yesterday because the weather was warmer, but I've become such a wimp with the cold weather running right now. So I kept pushing the run off until later and finally asked my dad if I could use his treadmill. He's been awesome lately with letting me use it! I've also figured out that I can watch TV shows on my tablet while running so I've been watching old episodes of Beverly Hills 90210 while getting my run on. That show mostly because it was the first one that didn't stop to rebuffer every five seconds or just stop working, plus I like it. It definitely helps make the run go faster! Yesterday I pounded out a semi slow 7 miles in one hour and 20 minutes. A slower pace than I am used to running, at least while outside. It felt good, really good. It was my longest run since before Christmas and I was pretty damn proud.

After my run, I brought Alexis back home with me to play with Ayden for a couple of hours. They enjoyed running around together for a little while. And before everyone knew it, it was time for bed and another week to start (with crappy icy roads)!

CIAO! LOVE ME!

{chugging along}

Honestly, it has been one of those kind of weeks. The kind where I don't want to get up, don't want to go to work, don't want to do anything. I sort of felt like I was on the outside of my body looking in at times. I'd get to work and plaster a smile on my face and deal with my patients when all I wanted to do was go home, curl up in bed, and do nothing. My motivation for just about anything other than picking up the remote control when a commercial came on had waned. I managed one good run this week and felt good afterwards, but then didn't pound out any other miles this week and continued to shove high calorie packed junk food into my pie whole... and it went down good! I definitely love me some chocolate, almost to a fault. That's me, shove your face full of chocolate Ashley!

My last semester of school finally started and I am in no way shape or form ready to actually have to do work again. I kind of enjoyed a few weeks of knowing what the 'real' world is like. Going to work and getting home and making it family time instead of having to add school into there as well. Only now when I am done with school it will be Ayden that is getting more work that I will have to help him with. Such is life, lol! And then just when it is bound to get worse, I am going to want to add another baby (or babies) to the mix. Less than eight months until wedding day people, less than eight months! That means less than eight months until baby making time! Not that you cared to know that, but please, even though they don't shout it out every time we see them, I know those grandmas are eager for more grandbabies! Ayden can't be an only grandchild forever!

In hopes that I could gain some of my motivation back, I conned my bestie, Victoria, into being my accountability buddy. Well, I didn't really have to do much conning since she is on her own wonderful journey to health and fitness, so she secretly wanted someone to keep her on track too and even if she didn't, she's got me! I desperately needed someone that would kick me in the booty to get out and get moving again and I knew she was just the person! I'm desperate for the weather to warm up again because we have so much fun outside with our boys and neither of us are cold outside people by choice!

Speaking of the cold, I have been unable to warm up at all lately! Yesterday I literally had four shirts on at work and was STILL cold and it is not like they keep the office THAT cold! I had on a cami, a long sleeved Cuddle Dudd shirt, a dress shirt over that, and then a sweater over that AND a decorative scarf and was STILL cold! I got home and changed into comfy clothes. I put on a pair of my lined running pants specific for the cold and then a pair of fleece pj bottoms over those, and nixed the sweater for a sweatshirt, curled up on the couch with my heating blanket and two fleece blankets and it still took me over an hour to finally feel warm. As we speak, or better yet, as I type, I am currently sitting on the couch in fleece pj pants with thick winter like socks  and slippers on, a cami, different long sleeved Cuddle Dudd, and hooded sweatshirt, covered up with my heating blanket, two fleece blankets, AND a quilt and I'm finally feeling warm. And people, the thermometer in the house reads 68, so it's not as if we keep it freezing in the house. I am just ALWAYS cold! Ugh, hate it!

Why am I at home in the middle of the day? Little man is sick. Poor kiddo started with the sniffles last night and I was hoping it wouldn't get worse. He was so so this morning when we got up and part of me wondered if I should just keep him home and another part of me thought he could make it through the day. So, we left for the day. I drove in the crappy weather to work (stupid snow) and make it through my first patient before getting a call that Ayden wasn't feeling well at school. Bummer. Thankfully my boss is awesome and family comes first, so I left to come take care of my little man. We are currently cuddled up on the couch together, him playing on his iPod and sniffling his nose (he has since been doped up because he did have a fever) and I'm writing this post. Poor sick kiddos! Going to dope myself up with some Zicam because I REALLY REALLY REALLY don't want to get sick again!

The only downside to being at home today, keeping my munching on all things chocolate at bay! When I am at work I can do so well, it is when I get home that I have a problem. So far so good though!

CIAO! LOVE ME!

{200 random factoids you may or may not know about me}

For lack of anything better to post today... enjoy these 200 random things you may or may not have already known about me...

1. Are you ready for 200 questions? Maybe, maybe not. We'll see as we go along! (And I'm only doing the first 100 right now anyways.)

2. Was your last relationship a mistake? I don't know if you would call it a relationship per say, but yes... a huge mistake. Although without it, I wouldn't be with who I am now and we cannot change the past, so therefore, we live and let go!

3. Do you miss your last relationship? Not one ounce... 

4. Who did you last say I love you to? Little man as he was getting out of the car this morning when I dropped him off at my dad's house, and begrudgingly he said it back to me (he was a little peeved that he had to go to school today, cranky much, yes!)

5. Do you regret it? Never do I regret saying 'I love you' to my little man... NEVER!

6. Have you ever been depressed? Clinically diagnosed, nope. And actually, probably never depressed. Down in the dumps, feeling blue and icky, yes of course, but actually depressed, probably not. 

7. Are you a boy or girl? I am woman, hear me roar!

8. Are you insecure? Definitely... not often, but it happens and I try to not let it show. 

9. What is your relationship status? Engaged and finally getting married THIS YEAR!

10. How do you want to die? In my sleep after a long happy life.

11. What did you last eat? Honey nut cheerios for breakfast, yummy!

12. Have you played any sports? As a past time, yes, as part of an actual team say like in high school, no. I'm not a sports person... don't really care for them much! (Probably because I'm not very good.)

13. Do you bite your nails? Not typically, but if I have a hang nail that needs to come off, then yes. 

14. When was your last physical fight? Actual fight, never, but I play fight with my honey all the time! He usually wins...

15. Do you have an attitude? I won't even try denying this... yes!

16. Do you like someone? I like lots of people!

17. What is your real name? Ashley Jane Marie Schwobe

18. Have you ever read a book? Probably hundreds of them by now! I LOVE reading and don't have enough time to read for pleasure these days. 

19. Are you gonna get high later? Um, no.

20. Do you hate anyone at the moment? Highly dislike, yes, hate, no. 

21. Do you miss someone? More than just one person...

22. Twirl or cut your spaghetti? Twirl please, I hate short noodles!

23. Do you tan a lot? Go actual tanning, nope. Tan outside in the summer, yes. I love having some color, but 
I usually burn before I tan.

24. Have any pets? One fluffy kitty named Diesel! 

25. How exactly are you feeling? Tired! Slept in yesterday morning which meant that I couldn't fall asleep at a decent time last night and then had to get up early for work resulting in me being... tired! Plus it's a Monday and I am not typically a Monday kind of person. 

26. Ever eaten food in a car while someone or you are driving? Yes, definitely. I try not to make it a practice to eat while I am driving, but have definitely eaten while someone else has been driving...

27. Ever made out in a bathroom? Probably...

28. Would you take any of your exes back? Nope. Fully committed to my honey! Besides, they are exes for a reason, right!

29. Are you scared of spiders? Big icky ones, yes!

30. Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? The thought is nice, but nope.

31. Do you regret anything from your past? Definitely, but we can't change the past, so we shouldn't sit and dwell on it. 

32. What are your plans for this weekend? Bridesmaid dress shopping with my sister and two cousins! 

33. Do you want to have kids? I have one wonderful eight year old already and I would love a few more!

34. Did you ever kiss someone whose name starts with an M? My dad... Mark.

35. Do you type fast? Yes, I get told so all of the time where I work that I type like a maniac... what can I 
say, I spent a lot of time on the computer, you get used to it. 

36. Do you have piercings? Plenty! One ear pierced 5 times, one four, belly button done, and used to have my nose done as well. 

37. Want anymore chicken? More chicken? Um, no thanks. I'm not a big chicken fan...

****WHERE IS QUESTION 38?!?!?!!?****

39. Do you miss anyone from your past? Sometimes, yes. 

40. What are you craving right now? A warm comfy bed and a good book and/or nap!

41. Ever been to a bonfire party? LOVE me a good bonfire! Haven't been to one in a while though because 
of the cold winter weather. 

42. Ever had a silly band? Me no, little man, yes. 

43. Have you ever been on a horse? Yes, I love to go horseback riding and I recently found out that one of my friends now lives on a ranch with a lot of horses so I cannot wait for the weather to warm up so we can go out there to do some trail riding! 

44. Kissed someone in a pickup truck? Once again, probably...

45. Have you ever broken someone’s heart? Not that I recall...

46. Have you ever been cheated on? Yes, in a past relationship...

47. Have you ever made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? Unfortunately, yes. 

48. Are you thinking of someone right now? Always have my little man on my mind!

49. Would you live with someone without marrying them? Already do! Seven years and counting, but not for much longer! Getting married in September!

50. What should you be doing? Seeing patients, but the schedule is empty right now and I'm all caught up on charts.

51. What’s irritating you right now? Feeling pretty good right now. 

52. Have you ever liked someone so much that it hurts? Yes...

53. Does somebody love you? Yuppers... my honey! And my little man! And my friends and family!

54. What is/are your favorite color(s)? I like green...

55. Have you ever changed clothes in a car? Once again, probably... can't remember though. 

56. Milk chocolate or white chocolate? Milk chocolate please! And LOTS of it!

57. Do you have trust issues? Not anymore...

58. Best friend's name? I have lots of best friends, I don't categorize!

59. 2nd best friend's name? See above!

60. 3rd best friend's name? And above again!

61. Longest relationship? Nine years and counting! Love my babe!

62. Do you believe your most recent ex thinks about you? Don't know, but probably not. 

63. Who was the last person you cried in front of? Probably Jay...

64. Do you give out second chances too easily? I used to, but not anymore. 

65. Is it easier to forgive or forget? Ugh, I don't know. Probably forgive, but I like to try and forget/pretend like it didn't happen. 

66. Is this year the best year of your life? Up until this point, it probably is going to be, at least I am hoping so! Graduating, getting a job, getting married, honeymoon, and hopefully getting pregnant! 

67. What was your childhood nickname? Ash (kind of still is), although in grade school it was Acky (can't even remember how I got that one, haha!)

68. Have you ever walked outside completely naked? Completely, no, with a towel, yes! 

69. Favorite food? Anything pasta! Oh I do love me some pasta, more than you know! Could eat it every day! 

70. Do you believe everything happens for a reason? Definitely, everyone's life has a plan! 

71. What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? Was resting in bed with my honeykins watching Mudcats on TV, getting picked on during every commercial break. 

72. Did you have dream last night? We always dream... do I remember what I happened to dream about last night, nope. Maybe I will remember tonight's dreams though. 

73. What is bothering you? Being poor, student loans suck!

74. Have you ever been out of state? On multiple occasions... I've travelled out of state alone and with family numerous times and love it! I love travelling, particularly to destinations that require fly time as I love to fly!

75. Do you play the Wii? Not too often! We have one and unfortunately we do not use it as much as I would like to. 

76. Are you listening to music right now? Nope, just a loud fan down the hall!

77. Do you like Chinese food? Kind of, as long as it is not super spicy! 

78. Who are you texting right now? No one, at work, phone doesn't work in the basement, no reception. 

79. Are you afraid of the dark? Dark no, pitch black darkness, probably would start to scare myself, haha!

80. Is cheating ever okay? Nope. 

81. Are you mean? More than I would care to be. It just comes out sometimes. I try not to be and usually am not, but yeah, I can be and have been. 

82. Can you keep white shoes clean? White shoes, who wears just white shoes these days?! 

83. What year has been your best? Thus far, 2004... the year little man was born and actually that is what made the year! 

84. Do you believe in true love? Of course!

85. Favorite weather? End of summer/fall! Where I live the colors are just beautiful that time of the year. Plus it is usually pretty warm during the day and it cools off at night. 

86. Do you like the snow? Ugh no! I HATE the snow, with a passion!

87. Does it snow a lot where you live? Ugh again, YES! HATE it!

88. Do you like the outside? I LOVE being outside when the weather is nice. Fresh air and sunshine just 
makes for a better and happier me!

****#89 HAS GONE MISSING!!!! OMG!!!! HAHA!!!!****

90. Do you want to get married? Of course and will be getting married on SEPTEMBER 21, 2013! Cannot wait!

91. Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? Sure, although typically it is 'babe' more around my house than 'baby'. 

****ANOTHER ONE GONE!!!! NO #92!!!!!****

93: Have you ever made out for more than a half hour straight? Who hasn't?!

94: What makes you happy? Jay and Ayden... plain and simple! And the rest of my family and friends being happy and healthy as well!

95: Would you change your name? No, I like my name. Didn't particularly care for growing up with four Ashley's in the same grade, but oh well. Maybe change the spelling of it, but I like it. 

96. Ever been to Alaska? Someday maybe...

97. Ever been to Hawaii? Technically yes, as my mom was pregnant with me when she went, so therefore, 
I've been there too, but no, I haven't. 

98. Do you watch the news? Usually just for the weather. 

99. Do you love MTV? Love no, but watch it occasionally, yes. 

100. Do you like Subway? Oh heck yeah! I LOVE me some Subway! 

101: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? Nope, it was my little man and I will continue to smother him in kisses WAY past the time that he would like me to stop, haha! 

102: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? Don't know that I have a best friend of 
the opposite sex right now. Best friend of Jay's that suddenly likes me... well I'd say thank you, but you know I'm taken, haha! Just kidding, don't think his friends would ever do that to him. 

103: Do you talk like your friends? I pick up the worst (best) habits from them!

104: Why did you decide to do this quiz? Something to post on the blog...

105: Have you ever seen someone you knew and purposely avoided them? Duh! Kind of lots and lots!

106: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? Thought I used to, my friends of the opposite sex are pretty scarce these days. 

107: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? A male patient...

108: Do you feel good? For being tired and for it being a Monday, yeah, I'm feeling alright. 

109: Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? My bestie, Victoria!

110: Favorite lyrics right now? The ones from the 'Let's Go' song! 

111: Can you count to one million? Sure, but will I, nope!

112: Ever bought condoms? Yup!

113: Ever gotten pregnant? I think the presence of my little man would make this a yuppers as well!

114: Ever failed a class? Unfortunately, yes... a stupid history one during undergrad, worst class EVER!

115: Ever kissed a boy? Each and every day!

116: Ever kissed a girl? Other than family, nope...

117: Ever used a little paper bag for lunch? Of course! Although now I have a nice little lunch bag, hehe!

118: Have you ever had a job? A few! Wish I could call my 'job' now an actual 'job', but can't quite since I'm not getting paid, haha!

119: Have you ever slipped on ice? Definitely and it hurts!

120: Have you ever missed the bus? When I was younger, of course! Ooops!

121: Have you left the house without money? Definitely, that is what Jay is for!

122: Did you ever bully someone on the internet? Nope. 

123: Did you ever sexted someone? Yes... ;) Keeps things spicy!

124: Have you ever had sex in public? Nope.

125: Did you ever played on a sports team? Played no, managed both football and wrestling in high school though!

126: Have you ever smoked weed? Ick!

127: Have you ever smoked cigarettes? Ick again!

128: Have you ever smoked a cigar? Even ickier!

129: Did you ever drink alcohol? Yes, but I don't really care for it. I typically only drink alcohol during the summer while we are camping, otherwise I usually pass. 

130: Did you ever watch “The Breakfast Club"? Nope. 

131: Have you ever been overweight? No, but I've been at a point where I wanted to lose weight and I did and now I am more fit than I ever was in high school. 

132: Ever had an eating disorder? No.

133: Ever been to a wedding? Many many weddings.

134: Ever been in a wedding? Yes, three thus far. Two of my cousins's weddings and my besties!

135: Did you ever made fun of someone for being fat? Sadly, probably when I was younger. 

136: Have you ever been on the computer for 5 hours straight? At some point probably. 

137: Did you ever watch TV for 5 hours straight? Just yesterday... it was a total lounge around do nothing type of day!

138: Ever been late for work? Not that I remember, and if I was, it wasn't my fault. I make a habit to be at places either early or right on time. I HATE being late, it is a huge pet peeve of mine. 

139: Ever been late for school? For excused purposes, yes. 

140: Ever kissed in the rain? Sure. 

141: Did you ever showered with someone else? You bet, saves water! ;)

142: Did you ever fail a driver’s test? No.

143: Have you ever run a mile in less than 10 minutes? YES, I can finally say that I have! It wasn't much under 10 minutes, but I totally rocked it! 

144: Ever been outside my home country? Yes, to the Dominican Republic! Does that count?

145: Ever been on a road trip longer than 5 hours? Yes, quite a few actually. Long car rides can be good or very very bad, haha!

146: Did you ever get your heart broken? Kind of... 

147: Ever had a credit card? Yes, stupid credit cards, haha!

148: Ever been to a professional sports game? Brewers game this year with my employer! Lots of fun!

149: Did you ever broken a bone? Nope, not yet. Knock on wood!

150: Have you ever been unhappy about my weight? Yes, even though I probably shouldn't have been. 

151: Did you ever won a trophy in your life? Trophy, don't think so. 

152: Did you ever cut yourself for no reason? No, no I have not. 

153: Do you have STD? No.

154: Ever got engaged? Currently am!!!

155: Have you ever been on a diet? Tried and failed... now it's more of a lifestyle thing!

156: Did you ever been on TV? No, not yet. 

157: Ever rode in a taxi? Yes, I think so?!?!

158: Ever been to prom? A number of times! 

159: Ever played a drinking game? No, not really a drinker. 

160: Ever stayed up for 24 hours or more? Ick, no, I like my sleep WAY too much these days!

161: Ever been to a concert? You bet! Sugarland!!! Country USA! Love and Theft! Love them all!

162: Ever had a three-some? Once again, no!

163: Have you ever had a crush on someone of the same sex? Not yet, nor anytime soon. Wait, totally crushing on Jillian Michaels! LOVE her!

164: Have you ever been in a car accident? Yeah, two. Totaled car both times. Neither my fault though!

165: Ever had braces? For three unfortunate years. 

166: Did you ever learn another language? Attempted Spanish and sign language, not very proficient in either though. 

167: Ever killed an animal? Definitely a number of bugs! 

168: Ever been to a Japanese steakhouse? Nope. 

169: Do you wear make-up? Almost every day! 

170: Did you ever talked to someone via webcam? A number of times, yes. 

171: Did you ever have wisdom teeth taken out? Only had two and yes, have had them taken out. Didn't enjoy it, but survived. 

172: Did you ever kiss someone a different race than you? No.

173: Did you ever sneak out of the house? Out no, but I've snuck people in before. 

174: Have you ever bought porn? No.

175: Ever had a virus on your computer? Yeah, probably more than I know about as well. 

176: Ever dyed your hair? Lots of different colors, although not at the same time. I love different hair colors!

177: Is there someone you hate so much you never wanna talk to them again? Not yet. Hopefully never. 

178: Have you ever graduated from college? Yes, got my bachelors, now working on my Doctorate of Audiology!!! Almost done!!!

179: Did you ever wear someone else’s clothes? I used to wear Jay's sweatshirts all of the time. 

180: Ever rode in an ambulance? No and hopefully will not have to at any point in the future. 

181: Ever rode in a helicopter? Wish I could say yes because I've always wanted to!

182: Ever caught the stove on fire? More than once, oops!

183: Ever got in a verbal fight? Definitely, on more occasions that I dare to remember.

184: Ever meet someone famous? Super famous, no, not that I can remember.

185: Have you ever been on vacation? Numerous times, LOVE vacation!

186: Ever been on an airplane? LOVE to fly! Get me up in a plane!

187: Ever been on a boat? Even more than flying, I love being on the water! 

188: Ever broken something expensive? Probably, but nothing specific comes to mind right now. 

189: Did you ever have surgery in your life time? Wisdom teeth?! Does that count?

190: Did you ever kiss someone before you were 14? Don't think so. 

191: Ever beat a video game? Don't really play them, so probably not. 

192: Ever got in a fist fight? I'm pretty non violent. 

193: Did you ever find something valuable on the ground? Some money here and there, but nothing too big. 

194: Did you ever stalk someone on Facebook/MySpace? Facebook stalk, um no, hehe! Okay seriously, not like stalkerish stalk, but kind so, I mean, who doesn't, haha!

195: Have you ever prank called someone? Yes, a LONG time ago!

196: What are your top 3 favorite colors? Green, red, blue?! I just like bright and bold anything really. 

197: What is your number 1 favorite sport? Does running count? That is what I am really into right now. 

198: What’s your favorite singer/rapper? I like lots and lots of different music, it sort of depends upon what kind of mood I am in. 

199: What is your number 1 favorite animal? Hippo! Okay, so not really. I don't really have a favorite animal. 

200: Did you think this looked like fun to do? At first... now it is just getting LONG! Good thing we are at the end!

CIAO! LOVE ME!

{feeling defeated}

Having sort of an ebbing kind of weekend where I am overall feeling defeated in life. Dramatic much, maybe, but you can't help it when you are just feeling not quite right especially when you think you should be. It is not as if life is going bad or what not, I'm just feeling out of sorts and down on myself in lots of different areas in my life. The fact that I did not do too much today probably plays into that as well because I know when I am lazy and eating too much my mood goes down hill, but I know that a few other things are playing into it as well.

Before I got sick I was craving my runs each day and building my endurance and reaching a new distance each weekend and knowing I was going to rock my half marathon when it comes in April. Working out and eating right had become almost second nature to me. Then I got sick and unmotivated. I lost endurance.

I was so excited that my first three mile run after being sick for two weeks went so well. It has been a constant struggle since that run. My motivation is lacking BIG time and my willpower to eat anything in sight is not there at all. Running has become hard again, harder than it ever seemed before. And the eating, it has become hard again too. I am craving all of the bad junk food and I am letting myself eat that crap more than I would normally. I can cop out and attritbute to TOM, but that is an easy cop out. Just because I'm craving it doesn't mean I need to eat it. And yet it continues to go in...

I've made myself run this week. I got in a good five mile run on the treadmill on Monday. That was a good run, I needed that one. Monday was a long day. I was productive again on Tuesday and worked out to Jillian. On Wednesday I wanted to bust out five miles again on the treadmill, but only made it to four. I kept telling myself that four was good enough... four was better than nothing. And it is, but I wanted that five so bad. I did five on Monday, so why couldn't I on Wednesday?! I know that deep down I probably could have slowed myself down on the treadmill (because I was kind of pushing myself for the first four) and have finished the five, but I didn't want to. I just gave up.

Thursday and Friday. Let's not go there. No attempt at working out and lots of bad eating.

Saturday. Saturday, had intentions of going for a run. My intentions were to hit maybe seven miles. I didn't know if I would be able to, but I thought it was a good goal to at least reach for. And the weather, oh, the weather was great on Saturday... at least in the morning. I set out and hit about two miles and then started negotiating with myself. Just hit at least five, maybe six. No more seven, but just keep going. Then at one point I thought just make it through three and you'll be good. But I stayed strong and when I finished my first loop and could have gone home and just done three, I started another loop and made it throught five and a half miles. They were kind of slow, but I still made it.

I am still struggling to find my inner runner again after 'coming back' from taking off, but slowly I think it will come back. I have some new motivation now. I have decided to get two small tattoos after I finish my half marathon. I have decided not to tell anyone (other than Jay) what they are until after I get them. They both are small and won't take too long, but I am super excited to get them. I have been wanting to get one of them for quite some time now, but I just haven't been able to justify it. I figure running 13.1 miles is a good goal to hit and then I can reward myself. Got to just keep going.

On a different note of feeling like a craptastic person... I got an email from little man's teacher this week. They were retesting the students with some state testing stuff and unfortunately little man did not quite make the strides in reading that we had hoped he would. It pains me to write this, but Ayden continues to struggle and be behind where he should be when it comes to reading. Grade wise, Ayden is doing well in the third grade. In fact, his actual reading grade went up from a C- in the first quarter to an A this second quarter. He continues to do well in math, social studies, and science. Some of his current reading difficulties are crossing over into language arts. I feel like part of this is my fault because we have not been pushing the reading as much at home as I know we should be. We all got slack at home and I wanted to believe that we did not need to do any extra work at home. I was wrong.

There is no going back though, only going forward. So, we've started a new regime at home, one that we are determined to stick with. Something short and sweet that can be done after school each day that will supplement what Ayden is getting at school. My little man is not dumb by any means. He is just struggling a little bit with reading and we are going to hopefully help bridge the gap. Moving forward again. Not backwards.

CIAO! LOVE ME!

{thursday ramblings}

Wednesday

Remember in my last post when I wanted to do RI30 (Jillian Michaels Ripped in 30) every day during the week and then the next day I had decided that I would do it only on the days when I did a short run... well yeah, that has changed again. I thought, really thought, about running yesterday, but I didn't. I didn't really have the ambition to and then I found out that Ayden didn't go to wrestling practice with Jay so I had to pick him up from my dad's house after work, so there really went my running time. Instead of running though (since I am making an effort to workout out at least 5-6 days a week again after being sick), I decided to pop in RI30 and start over with that. I had also mentioned that I want to build up my muscles again.

I am watching this seasons of The Biggest Loser... mostly because Jillian came back. I may or may not have a not so secret crush on her. Anyways, while watching it on Monday, I totally thought, I could put up with her as my trainer and yelling at me. Yes, the workouts would be hard and grueling, but I could make it through. Um yeah, then I popped in that DVD last night and thought again. I have done RI30 many times now, so I knew the workout and thought I knew what was coming. I mean, really, it is a 20 minute workout, who can't do that?! What I failed to remember since I haven't done them in probably two months was just how grueling and hard that 20 minutes can be! Like seriously, it was hard. I may not have been dripping in sweat when I was done (I'm not THAT out of shape), but I was totally glistening in sweat. It was a good workout, even if it was only 20 minutes.

The plan for tonight is to get outside and run. It is supposed to be one of the warmest days in the next week and I miss running outside. I'd like to get another good five mile run in, but we'll see how my body is holding up. My legs are kind of sore right now. I just need to get out and stretch my legs. Running on the 'shredmill' is never the same, although during this time of the year it is definitely warmer and I have been pretty cold lately and we all know that I hate being cold... like REALLY hate it!

Life in general, otherwise, continues to be smooth sailing. Remember (once again) how I had mentioned in probably lots of previous posts, life seems to ebb and flow... right now, I'm doing some flowing. Trying to maintain a positive attitude through most days in life. Of course, that is not to say that life doesn't have it's piss ass moments either because it most certainly does and I most certainly let those around me know when I'm having a not so good day, well most of the time anyways.

Thursday

Wimped out last night. Didn't run outside. Stuck to the 'shred'mill. Wimped out on the five miles too. Only did four. I mean, four is better than three, or two, or one, or none, right?! Someone tell me that I am right because I was definitely feeling guilty about only doing four and not five, but I just couldn't pound out another one as much as I wanted to. My body is still pretty sore, particularly my legs. I'm thinking Jillian tonight, but I am not going to make any promises, haha! I could definitely use a night off even though I technically shouldn't take one off.

Criminal Minds was new last night and the ending totally SUCKED! I was texting my mom throughout the show and we could not believe how it was playing out. I am still keeping hope alive that the ending will sort of change come next week because really, how could they end it like they did... I refuse to believe it! If you watch Criminal Minds and saw last nights episode, you know what I am talking about, if not, then this paragraph probably makes absolutely no sense to you whatsoever, haha!

With that...

CIAO! LOVE ME!

{imposter}

Monday

I ran for the very first time in two weeks last Thursday. I was kind of nervous setting out because it had been so long. I knew I didn't have to be nervous, but as I started out the front of my driveway I couldn't help but feel like some sort of imposter. Here I was, after two weeks without so much as lifting a finger where workouts are concerned and I'm going to head out like I am a runner. Illogical thinking, I know, but I couldn't help it. I knew the run was going to be a short one. I had a goal of three miles in mind and knew the route that I was going to take. I tried to start out slow, I really did, but that didn't last too long. Before I knew it, I had hit my stride again and was going. I came up to mile two and knew I only had one mile left. Not going to lie, that last mile really made me push. It took a lot out of me. The thing I was most surprised about was how my legs felt after the run. I hadn't anticipated feeling any effect from just three miles. What I didn't realize is how sore your legs can become after not working out for two weeks. Not even ten minutes after my run I could already feel it in my quads... and for the next two days! I was surprised! I survived the run, but now it is Monday and I haven't run or worked out since. Well, I take that back, I did a short 1.6 mile run/walk with Victoria yesterday in an effort to just get out of the house and do something and I knew without someone, I wasn't going to go. And damn, it was cold and windy yesterday... hence forth why we didn't go too far.

I have to admit that my eating has been less than stellar lately as well. Actually, it has been pretty horrible. I pretty much gorged myself at Christmastime and managed to maintain my weight. Then I got sick, hardly ate anything for almost a week and lost 5 pounds. As excited as I was about that, I knew a lot of it was water weight as well and that those 5 pounds would come back and I was okay with that. After I started to feel better at the beginning of last week I just kept eating. I was eating lots of stuff that was bad for me and big portions and I just kept thinking I would be okay. This past weekend we were out of town with the family and there was SO much good food there and I couldn't help but stuff my face full of everything in sight! I just kept eating and eating and the scale made me pay for it this morning. I officially weigh three pounds more than I would like to. I admit that I would like to weigh 118 pounds. This morning, the scale read 121.8. Yes I realize that some people would love to be 121.8, but I've worked too long and too hard to start gaining back the weight I have kept off for almost a good year now. Granted, what I wanted (because I know I didn't 'have to') to lose wasn't much to begin with, but I just feel better about myself and in my clothes when I know I am working out hard and eating right.

So, it is Monday and today I am hitting the reset button and getting back on track before I totally derail and let myself go again. I had been working out consistently for four months and that is the longest I have been able to stay on track. I cannot afford to get totally derailed. It is time to start sucking the water again, watching those portions a little bit better and getting my feet back into those running shoes and getting out there (or on the treadmill because damn it is still cold outside today). I have also decided to do another round of Jillian Michaels Ripped in 30. I figure that it is only 20 minutes and I can fit that in as well. I know that my muscle mass has decreased since I started to run so much and I don't want to lose it completely. Today is Day 1! I also have a goal of running at least 3 (hoping for 5) miles tonight on the treadmill!
As I mentioned before... we were out of town this past weekend with family. It was Jay's mom's extended side family Christmas and it was a great time. We had two big cabins rented that were connected and everyone had a great time. Like I said, there was SO much good food! It was definitely nice to see everyone again because it had been a couple of months. It will probably be another couple of months before we all get together again, but it just makes it all the more special when we do all get together.

Tuesday

Per typical Ashley fashion, I didn't finish my post yesterday and thus need to finish it today. I have to say, I did manage five miles on the treadmill last night, albeit it wasn't the treadmill that I wanted to run on. I had intentions of going to the weight room at the high school in town and running there, but once I got there everyone and their brother was using the running equipment. Okay, so there are only two treadmills and three ellipticals, but they were all being used. I was totally bummed because I really wanted to run, so I quickly called my dad to see if I could use his and he said sure.

I started my run about 15 minutes later than I had wanted to. I am big on being a time planner and yesterday was a long stressful day at work so I wanted to get things done at a certain time last night. I started running and about half way through I almost let myself quit, but I kept pushing it out. I had a bad day and I needed a good long run. I finished my five miles in 49 minutes 30 seconds... so that is a pace of less than 10 minutes per mile... on a treadmill! I haven't done that yet so I was pretty proud of myself! I was huffing and puffing by the end, but I made it! I renigged on the Jillian last night though. I figured a five mile run was enough and that if I want to do two a day work outs that those should really be done on the days where I do shorter runs. So tonight the plan is to go for a three miler outside (yes it is a little bit warmer today) and then Jillian afterwards. My legs are still kind of feeling it today, but not as bad as I had originally thought they might. It just felt so good to get five miles out after not running for so long and then eating like crap. Have to say that my eating yesterday was probably okay. Not great, but I guzzled more water than I have in the last two weeks which was good, even if I had to pee every five minutes, haha! One day at a time people, one day at a time!

CIAO! LOVE ME!

{continuing to mend}

Still taking things slow in this neck of the woods. I'm feeling almost back to normal, but the last time I said that I took a turn for the worse and ended up getting sicker. I am still tired/weak when I try and act like I am back to normal and rushing around doing things, but each day is a little better than the last. As long as I continue to take things slow, I do well. Instead of feeling sickness pain, I am feeling a little bit of back pain and some jaw pain. Don't know what caused either of those, but they are more annoying than anything. Like a crick in my back and some tightness in my jaw. Oh well.

I ventured back to work yesterday for the first time in two weeks and it went well. It helped that despite having a full schedule, the patients were not very demanding. I really tried not to push myself because I didn't want to have to leave and go home early. I think it helped mucho that our day wasn't too busy so I didn't have to push myself too hard. It was nice to get back into the groove of things. I literally had over two weeks off (you know, minus the two days that I tried to go to work). But it is definitely nice to have an employer who cares about your well being.

I am really itching to get running again, but I know that I shouldn't and so I won't. I may consider trying on Thursday or Friday again. Or maybe not. I want to SO bad. I was in such a good groove of working out, but I don't want to push too hard and then end up back sliding, getting sick again, and missing even more. The weather is supposed to be pretty nice all week and that means melting snow off of the sidewalks and clearer running pathways so it is hard not to want to get out and go. I didn't realize just how much I would miss it until I wasn't able to do it anymore. It was such a stress reliever for me.

Last night I ended up getting home and then just crashing. I sat down on the couch, ate a little bit of supper, and then was in bed at 7pm. I know, laugh, but I was beat. I wanted to watch the second episode of The Biggest Loser, but I was asleep within the first half hour. Needed some good solid sleep to help continue to heal my body. I haven't watched The Biggest Loser for a number of seasons now, but I am slowly getting hooked on this season. It helps that Jillian Michaels is back and I have a secret love affair with her. She may be a crazy biotch sometimes, but I love her workouts and her mentality. Plus, this is one of the first seasons that I can watch and not feel guilty because I know that I am also working out with the contestants. Okay, so not quite working out right now, but you know, I was before this whole getting sick thing.

I am excited for this weekend. It is Jay's extended family Christmas gathering. I am excited to see all of his family again because we always have such a good time together... plus it has been a few months since we've seen everyone and I miss them.

I am about ready for the week to be over though. I think I'll probably end up crawling into bed pretty early again tonight. No skin off my back.

CIAO! LOVE ME!

{enough already}

For over a week now I have pretty much been out of commission. It sucks balls. It sucks big balls! And just when I thought I was on the mend, I get worse. I think I probably jinxed myself. I went from starting to feel a little bit better to ending up in the emergency room at 2:30am on New Years Day! How is that for ringing in the new year?! Bullshit if you ask me! And… we are now on January 4th and I’m STILL not functioning up to par. I went from just a stupid little cold to bronchitis and yes, I AM bitter about it.

Bitter because I was SUPPOSED to run a Color Run 5K on New Years Day with Victoria. We had been planning this run for a LONG time and of course I would get sick before it. Of course I would. I felt SO bad not being able to go with her. This was her first 5K and just the day before I had it set in my mind that even if I had to walk some of it because of my cough, I would… either way, I would be there with her. And then my fever returned and it just continued on down hill and Jay told me that I wasn’t going and at first I fought him, but then I resigned to knowing that he was right and it wouldn’t be smart.

But, Victoria still went and she rocked that run! I am SO unbelievably proud of her for it too because damn it was cold that day!

We WILL do a color run together at some point, and many other runs.

I attempted to go to work on Thursday this week. Yeah, that went over REAL well! And by that I mean I should listen to my body more because I was SO not ready for that. I am still too weak. I am still coughing. I can sit and watch TV okay, but the second I decide to get up and actually move around like I am not ill, I start to get light headed. This upper respiratory stuff really takes a lot out of you. Thankfully my employer is uber understanding. I’m hoping to go back Monday and just take it slow, but we will see.

Not only am I ready to be out and about and off the couch and wanting to see patient’s again, I am ready to hit the pavement again.

This illness has really put a damper on my half marathon training and it irritates me to none other. I know it will probably be another week or so before I even attempt to run yet. That has got to be the worst part of this all, wanting to do it, but knowing that my body cannot. It will be slow going when I start again. It just really bums me out. I never thought I would be so bummed about not being able to run. But I don’t want to get out of my groove from not doing it for so long either.

I can’t even say that the weight loss from being sick is good because I know it isn’t. It took me a LONG time to be happy with my body being five pounds heavier now than my ultimate goal weight was last year at this time, but I know that those five pounds were muscle and I felt good in my skin. This stupid illness has made me successful at losing those five pounds, but to be honest, when I stepped on the scale and saw that this morning I actually cringed. I wasn’t even happy about it because I now know that that is too light for me. I don’t look sickly yet, but still. I know that once I’m functioning at 100% again, the weight will most likely come back and to be honest, I am looking forward to it.

Thankfully, little man has been functioning on all cylinders lately. He still has a minor cough, but it isn’t holding him back at all. And Jay… he’s managed to stay healthy. He has been a great care giver while I’ve been sick. Tending to all of my needs… getting me medicine, taking me to the ER (even though we live a whole three blocks from the hospital), bringing me water, helping me move around, he’s been more than I can ask for. The same goes for my mom and dad. My mom came over the other day to take care of me. Not only did she bring me food and drink, but she did my laundry and fully undecorated our Christmas tree. How amazing is she?! Further, both her and my dad continue to get in touch with me each day to see how I am doing. I haven’t been this sick in a LONG time, but I don’t remember the last time my dad asked me every day if I was feeling any better. Yes, very sweet. And Ayden has just been great. It helps that he understands what ‘mommy doesn’t feel good’ means.

It’s too bad 2013 started out this way, but that just means it is going to end that much better. Each day is a little better than the last and I know that I will be feeling 100% again at some point… patience is just something I need to work a little bit harder on, haha!

CIAO! LOVE ME!