{imposter}

Monday

I ran for the very first time in two weeks last Thursday. I was kind of nervous setting out because it had been so long. I knew I didn't have to be nervous, but as I started out the front of my driveway I couldn't help but feel like some sort of imposter. Here I was, after two weeks without so much as lifting a finger where workouts are concerned and I'm going to head out like I am a runner. Illogical thinking, I know, but I couldn't help it. I knew the run was going to be a short one. I had a goal of three miles in mind and knew the route that I was going to take. I tried to start out slow, I really did, but that didn't last too long. Before I knew it, I had hit my stride again and was going. I came up to mile two and knew I only had one mile left. Not going to lie, that last mile really made me push. It took a lot out of me. The thing I was most surprised about was how my legs felt after the run. I hadn't anticipated feeling any effect from just three miles. What I didn't realize is how sore your legs can become after not working out for two weeks. Not even ten minutes after my run I could already feel it in my quads... and for the next two days! I was surprised! I survived the run, but now it is Monday and I haven't run or worked out since. Well, I take that back, I did a short 1.6 mile run/walk with Victoria yesterday in an effort to just get out of the house and do something and I knew without someone, I wasn't going to go. And damn, it was cold and windy yesterday... hence forth why we didn't go too far.

I have to admit that my eating has been less than stellar lately as well. Actually, it has been pretty horrible. I pretty much gorged myself at Christmastime and managed to maintain my weight. Then I got sick, hardly ate anything for almost a week and lost 5 pounds. As excited as I was about that, I knew a lot of it was water weight as well and that those 5 pounds would come back and I was okay with that. After I started to feel better at the beginning of last week I just kept eating. I was eating lots of stuff that was bad for me and big portions and I just kept thinking I would be okay. This past weekend we were out of town with the family and there was SO much good food there and I couldn't help but stuff my face full of everything in sight! I just kept eating and eating and the scale made me pay for it this morning. I officially weigh three pounds more than I would like to. I admit that I would like to weigh 118 pounds. This morning, the scale read 121.8. Yes I realize that some people would love to be 121.8, but I've worked too long and too hard to start gaining back the weight I have kept off for almost a good year now. Granted, what I wanted (because I know I didn't 'have to') to lose wasn't much to begin with, but I just feel better about myself and in my clothes when I know I am working out hard and eating right.

So, it is Monday and today I am hitting the reset button and getting back on track before I totally derail and let myself go again. I had been working out consistently for four months and that is the longest I have been able to stay on track. I cannot afford to get totally derailed. It is time to start sucking the water again, watching those portions a little bit better and getting my feet back into those running shoes and getting out there (or on the treadmill because damn it is still cold outside today). I have also decided to do another round of Jillian Michaels Ripped in 30. I figure that it is only 20 minutes and I can fit that in as well. I know that my muscle mass has decreased since I started to run so much and I don't want to lose it completely. Today is Day 1! I also have a goal of running at least 3 (hoping for 5) miles tonight on the treadmill!
As I mentioned before... we were out of town this past weekend with family. It was Jay's mom's extended side family Christmas and it was a great time. We had two big cabins rented that were connected and everyone had a great time. Like I said, there was SO much good food! It was definitely nice to see everyone again because it had been a couple of months. It will probably be another couple of months before we all get together again, but it just makes it all the more special when we do all get together.

Tuesday

Per typical Ashley fashion, I didn't finish my post yesterday and thus need to finish it today. I have to say, I did manage five miles on the treadmill last night, albeit it wasn't the treadmill that I wanted to run on. I had intentions of going to the weight room at the high school in town and running there, but once I got there everyone and their brother was using the running equipment. Okay, so there are only two treadmills and three ellipticals, but they were all being used. I was totally bummed because I really wanted to run, so I quickly called my dad to see if I could use his and he said sure.

I started my run about 15 minutes later than I had wanted to. I am big on being a time planner and yesterday was a long stressful day at work so I wanted to get things done at a certain time last night. I started running and about half way through I almost let myself quit, but I kept pushing it out. I had a bad day and I needed a good long run. I finished my five miles in 49 minutes 30 seconds... so that is a pace of less than 10 minutes per mile... on a treadmill! I haven't done that yet so I was pretty proud of myself! I was huffing and puffing by the end, but I made it! I renigged on the Jillian last night though. I figured a five mile run was enough and that if I want to do two a day work outs that those should really be done on the days where I do shorter runs. So tonight the plan is to go for a three miler outside (yes it is a little bit warmer today) and then Jillian afterwards. My legs are still kind of feeling it today, but not as bad as I had originally thought they might. It just felt so good to get five miles out after not running for so long and then eating like crap. Have to say that my eating yesterday was probably okay. Not great, but I guzzled more water than I have in the last two weeks which was good, even if I had to pee every five minutes, haha! One day at a time people, one day at a time!

CIAO! LOVE ME!