{THAT weekend}

Can I just start this post out with how much I am hating winter right now. These past two weeks have been shit for driving to and from work and I'm just plain sick of it. As I sit looking out the window right now the frost on the trees is beautiful... almost beautiful enough for me to want to get my camera out and capture some of it, but not quite. It's cold out and I'm not very happy with mother nature right now, no matter how pretty she may make the trees, haha!

Now that I've got my gripe about the weather off my chest, I have to say the week ended up pretty good. I worked out at the gym twice. I know, only twice isn't a lot, but the other days didn't work. I worked out there on Monday and Tuesday... Wednesday is my typical day to pick the little man up from my dad's house, I had plans on working out there on Thursday, but the weather turned icky in the afternoon, so I didn't, and Friday I didn't go into work because of shit ass roads. That and Ayden had a two hour delay, so I wouldn't have gotten there until almost 11am and the afternoon schedule included two patients, so I didn't think it was worth the gas or torture of attempting the somewhat okay roads at that point. If I was getting paid and/or these were my actual patients, then I probably would have made more of an effort; however, I'm not getting paid (yet), and my supervisor was there to see the patients. I do not believe in putting my safety at risk for just a few patients. If that makes me selfish and a wimp for not driving in crappy weather, so be it. I will openly admit that I am a wimp in crappy weather.

Despite not getting to the gym on Thursday, Victoria and I did hit up hot yoga. If not for her offering to drive, I would not have gone. It is only six miles away, but the six mile stretch that leads us there is the crappiest stretch of road. Victoria has a truck and is much more comfortable having to drive in the snow than I am (probably because for the last seven years my winter driving has consisted of going a mile across town and back, not 45 minutes away). Hot yoga was just what I needed. Warm room and a good workout.

Jay's friend, JT, is visiting this weekend for sturgeon spearing. He ventured over from Minnesota in the craptastic weather on Thursday night and is chillin' at our place until Monday night. If I haven't mentioned it before, Jay and JT met at work in Stevens Point shortly after we moved up there and they have been inseperable since, even after JT moved back to Minnesota a few years after they met. JT is actually going to be Jay's best man in the wedding.

However, when JT is here, I tend to take a back seat to Jay. I thoroughly understand that they get to see each other in person a few times a year, but it bums me out that when JT is around, I'm all but nonexsistent. Now, I love JT like family. He is a great guy, great with Ayden, and great for Jay. He's been a part of our family for the last seven years. (It helps that he volunteeringly scraped the snow off my car yesterday, hehe!) Anyways, back to this weekend... sturgeon spearing. I have no interest in it whatsoever, so for Jay to have someone to do it with is great.

But this is how my weekend is going to go... Thursday night when JT got here, him and Jay headed out the door to do some stuff for sturgeon spearing and then went bowling until midnight, yesterday after work Jay headed out on the lake to help cut holes, got home in time to eat supper and then for us (meaning me, him, JT, my brother, sister, and sister's boyfriend) to head out to see Jeff Dunham. Great fantastic show, so glad we went, but felt more like a third wheel. Today, Jay is gone all day at a wrestling tournament, after which is finished he will no doubt head down to the lake/bar and spend the rest of the day getting drunk off his ass and getting home well after midnight, with a repeat tomorrow, and at least half of Monday (although I doubt Monday will include much drinking as he has to work on Tuesday). If it sounds like I am bitter about this plan, that is because I kind of am. I am trying my best to not let it show as I don't want to ruin any time that JT has here. I know that Jay has EVERY right to go out and have fun without me.

I think another part that just plain out irritates me is that he'll be out drinking/getting drunk. I don't drink (and when I do, it's typically only in the summer when we are camping and its definitely not to get drunk). I feel like in instances like this, a different Jay comes out and I fear that maybe its the Jay he actually wants to be, but isn't because of me. When in Point he never went out to drink at the bars (mostly because he didn't have anyone to go with) and since moving back 'home' it's been a lot more often and honestly, I HATE it every time he does it. Sometimes I wish he didn't drink like me because then I wouldn't feel like maybe I'm holding him back from the person he really wants to be. So, although I want him to have a good time out this weekend with his friend, and I want them to get a sturgeon, a large part of me is trying to quelch down all of these negative feelings.

I'll just keep my pretty little mouth shut for now and try to make the best of my weekend which includes taking little man to bowling, running a few errands, going shopping with my mom, and hanging out with Victoria and Parker tomorrow afternoon making some shirts. I purposely tried to pack a bunch in this weekend because I didn't want to sit home bored and stewing. So, while Jay is out having fun without me, not giving me or Ayden a second thought, we'll go out and have fun without him...

CIAO! LOVE ME!