{different people}

I've struggled to find the words for this post, so bare with me if it seems kind of discombobulated. (P.S. love that word!)

What kind of qualities is a best friend supposed to possess?

Urban dictionary (I know, legit source, right?!) defines a best friend as very special people in your life. The first people you think about when you make plans. The first people you go to when you need someone to talk to. Someone you phone up just to talk about nothing, or the most important things in your life. Someone that tries their hardest to cheer you up when you're sad. Someone who gives the best hugs in the world. They are the shoulder to cry on, because you know that they truly care about you.

I think that is a pretty good summary of what a best friend should encompass. I know that many friendships encompass so much more and many encompass so much less. But we're talking about an honest to god best friend here. Not someone who you occasionally run into while you are out and about.

I'm a relatively private person in real life, unless you really get to know me. Oh, of course here on my blog, ha! Although, I can censor what I put out there for the whole world. (Or the two of you who actually read this.) I don't always go into how I'm truly feeling about something, although a lot of times I do use my blog as a sounding board when I need to vent. I have only a handful of people that I would consider close friends. I have three very close friends who I know I could call up at the drop of a hat with anything and everything. We are a tight knit group of women who have each other’s back no matter what. With these women, I know that we can go days, weeks, even months, without speaking and when we do happen to get back in touch, it’s like we never stopped. What is so great about these women is that is not consistently about them. It is not about how horrible their life is and how things are always going wrong for them. Of course we have our vent sessions, but the friendship is always equal sided.

I’ve struggled in that area with someone who I used to consider my closest friend. We have been friends for as long as I can remember, but our friendship today is no where near what it used to be. Or maybe it is exactly the same and I just refused to see it for what it was all those years ago. Or maybe I was a less selfish person back then?!

I don’t consider myself a selfish person now; however, I am more aware of the people I allow in my life and the impact they have on me. I don’t have the want to expend the emotional effort in making a friendship work when I get little to none in return. It is just not something I am willing to deal with right now. I’m tired of it…

I suppose that only time will tell what happens, where life leads us, and the consequences of it all…

CIAO! LOVE ME!