{curl up and hide kinda week}

If you've read my blog for any length of time you will know that I have rare moments lots of occasions where my anxiety level reaches a peak. This... this happens to be one of those weeks.

I could slowly start feeling it build at the end of last week. The stress level was increasing and what was supposed to be a relaxing weekend at home turned into a busy one that was spent not at home. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed every minute of last weekend. As I've said before, one of the perks of living closer to family and friends is spur of the moment get togethers and leave lasting memories.

But, what I didn't get was the decompression time alone with my family that I really needed to rejuvenate me for the week. I feel like I am a big ball of emotions right now and could just burst into tears at any moment. Everything seems to be coming at me at once and all I want to do is just curl up and hide. Dramatic, huh?!

I'm sure you have those kind of days as well! Well this is turning into that kind of week. Actually, my mood is letting it become that kind of week and I've done nothing but wallow in my own self pity.

It has been a busy week at clinic and I am just not feeling it this week. Yes, love my work and love my patients, but can't love it 24/7, can you? Please tell me you can't and that I am not some person who just wasted nine years of her life getting a degree in something she cannot handle because she is sick of it for a week. Haha! Just trying insert some humor here.

Monday night sucked and then last night started out okay, but then got worse. We missed Ayden's swimming lessons, he came home crabby, and I didn't work out. I purposely didn't work out though because I needed the day off. I ate like a mess and then just lounged on the couch all night in a semi pissy mood.

And said pissy mood has followed me to work today...

I'm freezing at clinic today. I have an entire list of things that need to get done at home. I have a fiancé who seems to enjoy being away from home more than he enjoys being home. Okay, that last sentence was a lie. I know Jay loves spending time with us at home, but lately he's been pulled in a million different directions as well... helping people all of the time. People that he wouldn't have helped in the past because we lived too far away. It is starting to get to me, his being gone all of the time (or constantly on the phone, I swear it is glued to his ear!).

I miss when it was just us three in Stevens Point. When someone couldn't call up and request help last minute and interrupt our time (Jay has a hard time saying no), when we were our own entity. Now I know I am being selfish, but what I feared most about moving back to Chilton is slowly happening. I'd grown accustomed to it being just us and now it feels like so much more.

On one hand I know that we have been blessed beyond measure by our families! WAY beyond blessed! My dad and his wife take and pick up Ayden from school each day. (Never mind they'd have to go there anyways to drop my sister off.) Just the fact that there is one other person that they have to contend with for a little while each day makes me so grateful that they are willing to do that. Add on the fact that Jay's grandma and mom watched Ayden ALL summer without expecting a dime! I mean, who does that?! Awesome parents and grandparents, that's who! So, yes, I feel indebted to these people to a certain extent.

On the other hand, even though I enjoy the fact that we have babysitters minutes from our door, I hate the fact that Jay (and myself to some extent) have started to plan things on the same day because we are almost certain we can find someone to watch Ayden, where in the past one of us has to stay home because we had no babysitters.

But still, I know I am doing this to myself. Adding in bowling for Ayden, swimming lessons, zumba class for me, all on top of already working full time, doing an online class, photography on the side, working out consistently, and keeping house. I mean, I know it can be done. Millions of people do it EVERY gosh darn day. I am still finding my groove in this new town, new schedule, new house, new life...
And come tomorrow, maybe the sun will shine a little brighter on my mood!

...maybe!

CIAO! LOVE ME!

P.S. I know I promised some more pictures. People, I have not picked up my camera in weeks! The only pictures I took of Ayden in September were the first day of school pictures. Guess this weekend is camera time! Thinking about taking the kiddos to High Cliff on Sunday! (And there you have it, me adding in another thing to our schedule.)