{full steam ahead}

Life continues to move forward at break neck speed no matter how hard I try to get it to slow down. None of the days recently have seemed to just drag on, as much as I would like some of them too... case in point, the weekends. With everything in motion all at once and my mind spinning round and round with tons of new things, I am finding that some people are along for the ride and others are not. I am forever grateful to those that continue on this journey called life with me and know that those who do not, were in my life for a reason at one point.

Moving closer to our families has not only allowed us to become closer to them, but it has allowed both Jay and myself to get closer to some friends we had not been able to spend much time with over the course of the last couple of years. Renew those friendships and enjoy some aspects of life we didn't even realize we were missing! For that, I know we are both continually grateful as well.

The only downside I've seen is that I am still adjusting to the lack of down time. The entire time that we lived in Point, I was not working even 20 hours per week. I average between 10-15 hours of work per work on top of going to class and clinic. However, my typical days started after Ayden went to school and were done as he was getting out of school. That meant, sleeping in a little later, and having all afternoon together. Lots and lots of free time. I don't know what the meaning of free time is anymore!

Take last night for example...

I was a clinic until about 5:15pm. Yes, I realize that this is around the normal time people might leave for work. 8am-5pm job. But then I have a 45 minute drive home. Yes, I chose to take my placement 45 minutes away from my house. Yes, I know what I was getting myself in to. But please, let me just get this venting out. So, I get home at 6pm and have two measly hours with my child before he has to go to bed. Seeing my child for two hours a day is not my kind of parenting. I know I've already discussed my 'ideal' job, so I won't go into that again. And no, every night is not like this. Yesterday was just a long day and the last patient was not my type of end of the day patient. I'm sure people can relate.

Okay, vent over. Of course I own up to the situations I put myself in. I am not permanent stay at home mom material. I'd love part time work/stay at home mom, but for the time being, our financial situation will not allow that. Thank you student loans. Thank you Ashley for an additional four years of college to pay off. Thank you Madison for making those four years equal another $40,000. Deep breaths. Haha! Vent maybe not over? I love what I'm doing when I'm doing it and if I could have maybe five more hours in the day, I'd be easier. I know that this is only a phase of my life and I will make it through mostly unscathed. Some days are just easier than others. You get it, right?!

And really, my apologies if you feel like I've been talking in circles for the last couple of months. Thoughts in my head out in front of me make me feel better, even if they are the same thoughts over and over and over. I need to get it out someway and I'm not the typical pick up the phone and bitch to a girlfriend type person. I do better with a computer screen and keyboard. As if making my troubles available to the world isn't being open and honest, ha!

The fact that my night flew by last night, the fact that I slept like crap and kept dreaming about stupid hearing aids all night long, and the fact that my alarm decided not to go off this morning to wake me up, and that I flew out of bed, showered, got myself and Ayden ready in 20 minutes flat and got out the door just on time... I've been doing alright!

I can only feel part of my arms this morning. Thank you Jay. He told me last night that wanted to start working out again. His push, wanting to be in shape when the wrestling seasons starts so he can't get pushed around by the wrestlers. His dad is the head high school wrestling coach, so I have a feeling come the beginning of the season, Jay will be spending just as much time with the wrestlers as his dad. It's sort of a family thing. Anyways, we have the P90X workout system courtesy of Jay's friend, JT. Jay has started and stopped this workout on a number of occasions, and never made it too far through. I was super excited to hear that he wanted to start working out again. I mean, you know me... I'm all about staying fit right now.

So, Jay told me that he wanted to start it, but then wasn't going to do it last night because it was already sore. I stopped him right there and told him that if he wanted to do it, he had to start and that I would 'skip' my run and workout with him. Last night was Chest and Back. OMG! I have never done so many push ups at one time! Rocked it out and then paid for it, haha!

CIAO! LOVE ME!