{self control}

I lack any self control when it comes to food.

I try and I try and I try... but when it comes to wanting some chocolate, I got to have it and I usually find a way to get my hands on some.

This weekend was a particularly bad one and the numbers on the scale Sunday night definitely showed that. I know, it is not good to weigh yourself at night, especially when you are looking for a low number after shoving your face full of yummy food all day (and the day before that time of the month when you are retaining EVERYTHING!). But I did it and I cringed. And then in the morning it wasn't even that much lower. I don't know if you've ever been neurotic about weighing yourself like me, but you kind of get to know your body and in the past I could usually lose at least one pound over night, if not more. The more I get my body into shape and the more muscle I seem to gain, the less and less I am able to lose at night. Now I'm lucky if I go to bed and wake up a half pound lighter. Damn this thing called being in shape, haha!

Every day is a new day and today I start over with calorie counting. Lately, I've been eating pretty much whatever and whenever and that needs to stop. I need to start being accountable to myself again!

But I did have a good weekend running wise. I ran 5 miles on Saturday. Five whole miles without stopping with an average of about 10 min 30 seconds per mile. I rocked that run; however, since then I have been having some trouble. My short three mile runs are killing me! It was probably the fact that I was just so darn tired at the beginning of this week. 

I have 'officially' started training for my half marathon and by that I mean, I wrote the running plan down on the calendar and get to cross off the days as I do them. You know, visual person here. This week is week one (I am doing a 16 week plan) and I will be running between 3 and 4 miles at a time this week. So far the runs this week were three milers and they kicked my butt. I don't know what it was these past two days, but it just took a lot out of me when running.

Tuesday's run was kind of cathartic though. I didn't head out until after supper and by then it was starting to get dark out. Running at twilight in the almost dark and then getting home when it was pretty dark really put me in the mood. I might have been huffing and puffing more than I would have liked, but it was kind of fun. I think part of my problem is that I am pushing myself a little too hard. I need to slow down a little bit and get back into a good groove and pace.

I turned my 'key' back in to Anytime Fitness earlier this week too. It is definitely a nice gym, but running on a treadmill does nothing for me. Seriously, even when there is a TV on it, it makes the run SO much longer and harder. I am so glad that I started C25K outside instead of inside because I have heard that it is a lot harder to run outside when you've trained on a treadmill. Now that is not to say I will not be asking my dad if I can run on his treadmill during the dead of winter because I just might when it is 30 below, but I couldn't justify the gym membership at this time. I like being outside too much.

I cannot wait for my 5K this weekend. I know I've said it before, but the closer it comes the more excited I get for it. We have been having some great warmer weather this week, but I think it is supposed to get chillier by the weekend. 

Other than a fitness related update... life has been going on like normal. Going to clinic every day and continuing to learn something new all of the time. Getting more comfortable in my knowledge base. What I really need to do is trust myself and trust that I know this stuff because I do. Plain and simple.

Ayden has been continuing to do well in school. Well, in all aspects except for reading. Having another mommy guilt feeling for that one because even though I know it is something he continues to struggle with at times, it is the one thing we don't push enough at home. Third grade in a new school district has been a big change for all of us. His teacher is amazing, but the poor child has homework every night of the week. We are already pushing at least a half hour of homework after school every night and then pushing more on top of that?! So, I know that a half hour of homework really isn't much, but after an entire day of school... maybe it's just me. Or maybe it's the fact that I feel like I'm the one making sure it is getting done and that it is getting done correctly. Just another thing to add to the never ending list of things to get done in a two hour time span at the end of every day. Puke on that! Haha! But overall, Ayden continues to thrive in his new school. I am looking forward to parent teacher conferences in a few weeks.

My class this semester has been going well too. We are almost halfway through it which is good. One more semester after this... one more! Clap your hands together people, the end is in site!

Jay and I have been discussing things for the wedding as well. It was as if we hit the one year mark until it and the wheels just started a turning. I am happy to report that so far we have a ceremony site, reception site, photographer, dj, wedding dress, and tuxes picked out. Up next is finalizing the caterer, booking the tent/tables/chairs for sure, meeting with a potential officiant, looking at invitation ideas, and checking out two local florists. I know there is a lot of other little stuff in there and a lot of deposits to make, but slowly things are coming together. Slowly I am not feeling as overwhelmed and starting to get excited.

As of this past weekend it was officially only 11 months until the wedding. Under a year! UNDER A YEAR!!! That means (hopefully) under a year until potential baby making time! Gah! CanNOT wait! But that is old news, haha!

CIAO for now! LOVE ME!