{praxi-fied}

All of my 'studying' culminated in me taking the Praxis test bright and early this morning. A few weeks from now I should know if I passed or failed. I walked out of the test thinking I did okay, but I don't really know. I don't feel like I totally bombed the test, so that is probably good, right?! I am just glad to have it over, even if it is only for the time being (you know, if I end up having to take it again). One more thing I get to cross off my list to do. I think the only things left are one assignment, finishing touches on the capstone paper, and finishing up the capstone presentation and then its time to celebrate! I should be counting down the hours by now, I am that anxious for it to be done, but I'm not.

I only have one more weekend to make it through where I can make myself feel guilty for not being productive for school, haha! Two more weeks of icky school related things. I know that after my actual presentation is over with I will have a HUGE weight lifted off my shoulders... a HUGE weight! That weekend is going to be a great weekend. We get the keys to our new place that Saturday and it is my sister's graduation party so we will be able to celebrate for that. The the next day is Mother's Day, so we'll get to spend some time with my mom.

Speaking of my mom... she is going to come help pack some more next weekend. Can we say awesomeness again! We got SO much done when she came up a few weeks ago. The plan this time is to get everything out of the basement and into the garage and to clean the basement. I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to get the whole basement empty and cleaned. One less part of the house to worry about. I don't think it will take much to clean the actual basement though, at least I am hoping now. We will see how far we can make it. My mom and I are usually pretty good at keeping each other on task (plus she is a much better motivator than Jay, haha!).

I feel a little guilty about my eating habits this week... they haven't been super on par and it makes me feel bad. I was lacking on the willpower EXTEREMELY bad and despite the fact that I didn't over eat or over stuff myself everyday, it was definitely not one of my finer weeks. I know that some bad days are okay and I know that this week is a new week and I will try harder. On the other hand, I powered through my workouts this week and finished out Week 5 tonight (at Jay's parents house on top of that) with a bang... even after I kept telling myself I wasn't going to work out. But my mood wasn't too good to begin with and I knew that not working out and continuing to sit on the couch and watch TV would only increase my bad mood. So, I made the better choice, got off my rump, and powered through a Core 20 and Sculpt 30 workout and I feel better for it. It got me motivated to blog tonight, where otherwise I probably wouldn't have.

Jay's parents took Ayden with them to go see the middle school play tonight and let me tell you, it feels nice to be child free for just an hour or two. Love my child to death, you better believe I do, but this week was quite possibly the LONGEST week ever and I needed some mommy time to myself. Granted, I am child free during the week while Ayden is at school, but during the majority of those times I am busy with school and/or clinic. I thought maybe Jay and I would do something together tonight without Ayden, but apparently not. He's busy talking on the phone in the other room. Not like he can't do that while I'm not hear. To be honest, I'm just overall annoyed with him right now. I resent the fact that he is not there like I expect him to be for me and Ayden, especially Ayden. I mean, hello, NOT ONCE has he asked to talk to Ayden on the phone during the week while he has been away. Do you not miss your son? It really just pisses me off. And then when we do see him for the few hours on the weekend he just yells or pawns the duties off on me. Okay, so maybe that makes him sound worse than he actually is, but I'm feeling kind of resentful right now. He is living the 'easy' road right now (hello, his mom was doing this laundry today!) and I'm not. So maybe I'm feeling VERY resentful. Yes, I know it is what is best for our family right now and he is making money, but that doesn't mean it makes me feel any better. I'm not getting used to him being gone, I'm just getting more upset about it each week. It's not even like Ayden is a handful (most of the time)... he is actually pretty good during the week and a big help to me.

And then we get weekends like this weekend where I get to his parents house around 1pm on Saturday, he is gone until 2pm or so and then when he does get home he's busy doing other shit and not spending time with his own family. And then he has to work tomorrow so its not like we'll get to spend any actual time together this weekend. Can you see where my pissiness is coming from, haha?! I'll admit, I just need to be a whiny bitch right now. Getting it all out in writing is the only thing that really helps because I don't seem to have any friends who really get it or that I feel I should burden with my whininess.

Then to top off my craptastic weekend, we dropped a few things off at the new house today and there has been LITTLE to NO progress since the last time I saw it... THREE WEEKS ago! Hello, I'm pretty sure I need a kitchen in my house! Yes, they still have two weeks to finish it up, but I was really excited to see some progress today. Guess not. Guess I will just have to wait until we get the keys two weeks from now. I'm impatient, haha! (And have I mentioned a little whiny tonight?! Haha! Probably pre-pmsing, lol!)

Oh wait, there is one more thing that pissed me off tonight. So, I have a photo shoot tomorrow and it is before Jay gets home from work so earlier in the week I asked him to see if his mom was going to be able to watch Ayden while I went to the shoot and so I asked him today what his mom said and HE HADN'T EVEN ASKED HER YET!!! Seriously, what the fuck! Sorry, it just pissed me off because I do NOT want to be the people always relying on their family AT THE LAST MINUTE to watch my child. What if they had plans. Oh you had plans. Guess what... THEY HAD PLANS! And now because his mom is MORE than awesome, they most likely will cancel their plans to be able to watch Ayden for us. Had I known they had plans ahead of time, I would definitely had called my mom or dad and asked if they were available. We usually only ask Jay's parents because we are already at their house and it is easier just to keep Ayden there. Ugh, it irritated the piss out of me and now I feel bad for his parents giving up their plans because Jay couldn't remember to ask ahead of time. Its not like he has anything else to worry about like picking up the house, doing dishes, washing his own clothes, or even his son. Gah!

Sick of my whiny bitchy self yet? I am... I apologize for the whininess. I know my life is WAY better than SO many around me and I really have NOTHING to complain about compared to others, but like I said, I just needed to get it out and blogging is my outlet. Whew, feeling slightly better, might go see if there is a good Lifetime or Hallmark movie is on.

CIAO! LOVE ME!

{woe is me kind of day}

What should have been a good day at clinic was a ‘woe is me’ kind of day at home. My lovely day of being at home was prefaced by a 2:30am wake-up call from little man. I was already sleeping like crap last night, so I suppose that having him come wake me up at 2:30am was better last night than tonight, right?!

Ayden was complaining about his ear hurting. Okay, so he was more than complaining, he was in tears about his ear. My child does not cry about much, so I know when he comes into my room at night, it’s for a darn good reason. (I’ve also instilled it into his head that if he EVER needs anything at night that he is NOT to be afraid of waking mommy or daddy up.) I remember being young and not feeling good and always being afraid to wake my parents up. Why I was ever afraid is beyond me, but that is neither here nor there. So Ayden is very good about letting me know when he doesn’t feel just right. And last night was one of those nights.

Unfortunately, we were out of any children’s pain medication at our house and I really didn’t think a little ear pain qualified for a run to the 24 hour Walmart with my seven year old at that hour. On and off for the next couple of hours I spent rubbing Ayden’s back and cuddling with him in my bed trying to get him to go back to sleep. I even went so far as to let him watch a little bit of TV to try and distract him from his ear, hoping he would fall back asleep that way. No go. We both ended up falling back to sleep somewhere between 4:30 and 5:00am. I had pretty much decided in the wee hours of the morning that I wasn’t going to clinic and Ayden would be staying home with me the coming day.

At 5:45am when my alarm clock went off, I woke Ayden up to see how his ear was feeling. I figured that at that point if it was still really bad, we would make a trip into Urgent Care. The last thing I wanted was for his ear drum to rupture from an infection. He groggily told me that it only kind of hurt. So, I sent off an email to my supervisor letting him know I wasn’t coming in and crawled back into bed. At 7:30am, I woke up, called Ayden’s school, called the YMCA, and called the doctor. We were able to get a morning appointment to be seen by the doc.

Turns out, little man does have an ear infection, per say… there is no fluid behind the ear drum which is great, but the doctor did say that his ear drum was really red. (Times like last night where I wish I had an otoscope of my own at home to look into Ayden’s ear… possibly a birthday present this year or Christmas present?!) The doctor proceeded to check out Ayden’s nose and throat. Ayden has been a little congested and has had a slight cough for the last few weeks. Guess what? Seasonal allergies. Ugh! The congestion in his nose is dripping down his throat causing the cough. And just like the allergies are causing a slightly red throat, slightly red eyes, they also played a part in the painful ear ache. So, Ayden was prescribed some allergy medication and some ear drops to help with the ear pain. Fun morning, eh?!

After we got home from the doctor, a quick run to the grocery store, and a pharmacy run, Ayden and I relaxed for the rest of the day. He was feeling back to normal by early afternoon.

I think part of my funk for today was brought on by some guilt at not being at clinic when I should have been. But, being a parent ALWAYS comes first in my book and when you are pulling the single parent role, there is no one else that can take your place. Then there was a stupid email that a professor sent out about some homework assignment. This professor has just been getting on my nerves all semester and I cannot wait until these next two weeks are over. On top of that, I’ve been trying to work on capstone stuff, my mom’s Mother’s Day gift, studying for the Praxis. It is the same old stuff over and over again, it just got to me today. Oh, and maybe the lack of sleep from last night too!

So, what did I do?! I got my butt up, worked out for an hour, soaked up some sunshine with little man, and then we made a no bake peanut butter pie for tomorrow night. Let me tell you, both of us cannot wait to dig into that pie! We are going to visit my cousin and his wife who live about an hour away tomorrow night for supper and Ayden and I are bringing dessert. You know what else added to my uplifted mood tonight… a heaping spoonful of Nutella! Seriously, have you ever tried that stuff?! Delicious and oh so bad for you, haha! But before that, I gorged myself on a gigantic bowl of noodles and alfredo sauce. I just couldn’t eat healthy tonight, I needed some pasta to uplift my mood. And besides, one big bowl of pasta isn’t going to undo all of the hard work I have been doing in the last almost three months. I needed to satisfy that craving and tonight was a good night to do it. (Tomorrow might have been a better choice because of the yummy pie we made, however, I did use all low fat or fat free ingredients so it should be a teeny tiny bit healthier than it would have been otherwise.)

I always tell myself, tomorrow is another day… one day closer to the end of the week and if I can make it through the dreaded class tomorrow, the week will end good, haha! I am looking forward to clinic on Thursday, I like clinic. Class tomorrow… not so much.

CIAO! LOVE ME!

{just some sentences}

I may or may not be blogging right now avoiding working on my capstone revisions. I sent my full paper in last week and at the end of this week I got my first round of revisions back and I really am not in the mood to work on them. Plan for tonight after blogging, watching a bit more TV and then studying a bit for the Praxis. Plan for tomorrow, do some laundry and then work on capstone revisions, capstone presentation, and two assignments that are due in the coming weeks. Oh, and fitting in a work out and lots of quality time with my little man.

Jay has come and gone already for the weekend. Insert sad face here. On the bright side, we had a good 24 hours without any arguing. Insert happy face here. On the not so bright side, we didn’t get a lot of alone time together. We did for awhile yesterday after he got home, then spent eight hours in bed together (sleeping), and today we were pretty busy. We made a few stops at different stores this morning… grocery shopping and so forth. Then we came home and loaded up his truck with more boxes and loaded up a small trailer that he had brought home with some shelves and stuff. Just a bunch more stuff that we will not have to move on the big moving day.

For the rest of the afternoon I was visiting with a friend that I haven’t seen in ages and it was really nice. She brought her oldest child, Seth, with her and him and Ayden had a great time playing together while us mommies got caught up!She has the more adorable identical twin girls that were at home today who are almost two years old. I cannot believe how fast they have grown up! I remember Leah being pregnant with the girls! It was a fun few hours and I hope that we can get together again soon!

Because of some bad impending weather, Jay ended up leaving earlier than normal today because he had the trailer full of stuff that we didn’t want to get wet. It was kind of a bummer because we lost out of about three or four extra hours that we would have gotten to spend together. Insert another sad face here. But I was just happy that Jay and I had a good weekend (24 hours) together. Enough to make my weekend.

I counted today, and I have been working out 6 out of 7 days for the last 10 WEEKS! I can’t believe it has been that long already. That is the longest that I have worked out consistently in forever. Today I am proud to say that I have completed Week 4 of Turbo Fire! Couldn’t feel better or love what it is doing for my body any more! I think having something like working out while Jay is gone during the week has kept me going. It is an hour I get each day to make myself feel good and keep my mind off of how much I miss Jay. And honestly, if I wasn’t working out, I would be sitting on my booty in front of the TV munching on food. When I work out and get that high going afterwards, it is SO much easier for me to NOT eat all of that extra junk food for the rest of the night because I don’t want to undo all of my hard work.

Here are a few pictures from the last couple of weeks. I figured since I am not procrastinating on other stuff that needs to be done, I should probably share some pictures because it has been a while since I’ve done a big picture post!

A couple of weeks ago, little man fell asleep in my bed while watching some TV in our bedroom. Pictures of him sleeping… priceless and too cute!I cannot remember if I have shared a picture of our new house on this blog or not. I know that I shared it on my Project 365 blog and my apologies if I have shared it here already too… here she be in all of her almost fixed up glory! Look for more pictures to come in the following weeks after we have moved in and started to unpack!It is boxes, boxes, boxes EVERY where at our house!Rockin’ my new kicks for just a few pictures… I have promised myself that they are solely for running, just like my other shoes are just for working out inside. Can’t wait to start the Couch to 5K program in a few weeks. I have faith that even though it will be hard, I WILL rock it!Time for some relaxin’…

CIAO! LOVE ME!

{because i can}

Sometimes (rarely), I sit and wonder if people actually enjoy what I write about. It lasts for maybe five seconds because then I realize, it doesn't really matter if they enjoy it, agree with it, hate it... I don't write for my readers, I write for me. I know of people who are professional bloggers (well, I don't know them in real life, but know of them and quite possibly read some of their blogs) and they make money from blogging. Those people have the pressure on them to put out good posts that keep people coming back. I don't. I could care less if 100 people read my blog, 5 people read my blog, 5000 people read my blog, or absolutely no one read my blog. I use this blog as an outlet for myself. I love having something that I can look back upon if I wanted to.

As I was packing up the top shelf in my closet with my mom last weekend I came across the box that held all of my old journals. I didn't stop to look through them at that point, but I probably will when we unpack in the coming weeks. I even had a journal from back in 1999! Okay, so maybe to some of you that doesn't sound that old, but that was when I was twelve years old. I have maybe ten pages written in it, but it is still neat to be able to read the twelve year old thoughts that I was having. Heck, I find myself getting amused at the thoughts I had even two or three years ago. People can change and grow so much in such a short time.

I journaled all four years while I was in high school. I LOVE rereading how dramatic I thought things were back then and how complicated life was. It is hilarious. I stopped journaling probably a few months before Ayden was born and tried to pick it back up a few times after he was born, but I could never get into it the way that I used it. Then, almost four years ago to the date (will be four years on May 1), I started up this blog and have never looked back! Sometimes I cannot believe that it has been four years since I started blogging. I love it just as much now as I did back then, maybe even more!

So, if you feel like sometimes I get hung up on the whole working out thing and cannot talk about anything else. My bad, I didn't know it was your blog. I write about what is relevant to me and how I am feeling at any given moment. I use my blog to vent (albeit, there are definitely times I would go into more detail if I knew no one was reading). I write when I am excited. I write when I am down. I just like to write.

Jay has told me over and over that he wishes I wouldn't blog so publicly about our life. I know a few of my faithful readers... and those that I do know about, I happen to know in real life and happen to be related to. So, in some respect, I can see why Jay wouldn't want it put out there if we had a big fight one night because he has to see these people at some point. He doesn't want them to know what goes on behind closed doors. But me... I don't really care. I try to be an open book on my blog. Share the good, the bad, and even some of the ugly.

Take the fact that the last two weekends Jay and I have seen each other... we've ended the weekend on pretty sour terms both times. Ick, right?! We only get to see each other for maybe 24 hours out of a span of seven days and we aren't even speaking to each other when he leaves. On a brighter note, we've both been able to just move past those incidents and forget them by the next day. We don't really have time to sit and argue with each other during the week and let me tell you, it's not as fun on the phone, haha! Okay, that was sarcastic, because arguing with your loved one is never fun. But we are both out of our elements right now and being apart isn't easy, so I know that we are both treading through this time on thin wires.

Now, would Jay approve of what I just wrote? No. Would he approve of me asking you if he would approve. No, again. But he doesn't read my blog, he'll get over it. Haha! It's not like I post about every little fight that we have or even every big fight that we have. And if/when I do, it's not like I go into super specific detail either, haha! Life goes on, no matter what I write!

And with that...

CIAO! LOVE ME!

{i did it}

Remember in my last post when I said I was no longer worried about my final weight goal, but was more excited to get in better shape. The same still holds true, but I have to say, the excitement was not lost when I stepped on the scale the other afternoon after my workout and I was 115.4lbs! On Sunday, even after a weekend full of not eating exactly as I should I weighed 117.4 and I was pretty ecstatic about that. I mean, who doesn't when the scale budges a little bit, especially in the downward direction?!

I had told myself that I was going to wait until at least Wednesday before weighing myself again. I mean, weighing myself more than once in a week is probably not the smartest idea, but weighing myself every day is even worse. So, when I worked out after I got home from clinic that afternoon before I had lunch, my only wish when I stepped on the scale was that it was below 117.8lbs. I was shocked to see 115.4 pop up, like so shocked that I didn't even believe it at first and had to step off and back on at least two more times to make sure I was seeing the number correctly. I was literally SO shocked because I had like 20 little candy bars the night before. I mean, those alone were probably a good 700-800 calories altogether. I won't get hung up on the whole 115 thing because my guess is that I probably won't see it on the scale for another week or so again. (Case in point when I stepped on the scale this morning and it read 116.8.) But to even have seen it, to have skipped 116 altogether was awesome. I mean, I had all but given up on getting down to that weight.

I cannot remember if I mentioned wanting to run a 5K with my sister by the end of the summer. I hate running, but maybe I'd like to learn to love it? Actually, I would just love to be able to say that I've run at least one 5K in my life. My sister feels the same way, at least I'm pretty sure she does, so we have decided to train this summer and run our first 5K together at the end of the summer. I found the perfect race for us. It is in a neighboring town and I think it will be a small enough amount of people. The race is in the morning of the day I want to have Ayden's birthday party this year so my sister would have to come to our area anyways for the party. I figured we could run the race in the morning and still have enough time to get ready for the party afterwards. Plus, it is about the only race that is close enough to us and fits into a good time frame. The other one I thought about signing us up for was in the middle of October.

I am excited to start the Couch to 5K program. I am going to start it after capstones in three and a half weeks. In the mean time I am going to continue working out with the Turbo Fire program and I am hoping that by doing that my endurance for running will be better than if I hadn't worked out at all.

I found the cutest pair of running shoes at Kohls yesterday and with my 30% off coupon I got a pretty good deal. I also bought a cute pair of sandals and some new undies. With that, I was able to get $10 Kohls cash and I can use that while my 30% coupon is still good so we are going to get Jay some new shoes this weekend as well. He hasn't gotten a new pair of tennis shoes in almost six years!

I have a pair of shoes that I use exclusively for working out indoors (I don't think they have ever touched the ground outside) and I don't really want to wear them for running. I haven't registered for the race yet, but I think I am going to pretty soon, just to keep myself accountable for it. I would love to be able to run the half marathon part of it, but I know that challenging myself to run just over three miles at one time is going to be hard enough by the end of the summer and that 13 miles is pretty unattainable at this point. But, as I work my way through the running program and if I can make it past the 5K mark, I do plan on pushing myself further. Maybe by the end of the summer I will be able to run 5 miles at once instead of just 3... we will see!

I have downloaded an app on my phone that will track my distance and my pace and I have downloaded some podcasts in the background that play music and prompt me when to run and walk through the nine weeks of the program so that will help me too. I just need to push through it like I am pushing through Turbo Fire. I am halfway through Week 4 of the program and it feels great.

It may have taken three and a half weeks of hard work to start seeing some awesome progress in my body, but it has been well worth it, that is for sure! I am back to the point that I was at in early fall when I really liked how my body looked. I like what I am eating now, although some days I would prefer to pig out. I am calorie counting to make sure that I am getting what I need without going too overboard. It is amazing the amount of food you can eat when it is good for you. Today alone through lunch I will have had a bowl of corn flakes with milk for breakfast. I brought carrots and fat free ranch dip for a mid morning snack, an apple, piece of string cheese, and two cups tomato soup for lunch, and then some Special K crackers for a mid afternoon snack. And I STILL have like 400-500 calories left over for supper! Amazeballs! However, that is not to say that I still don't crave a HUGE bowl of ice cream every now and then. I mean, I have had my fair share of little chocolate candy bars this week! I finally took the rest of them to school yesterday so they wouldn't be at home. I am hoping my bowl is empty when I go back next week, haha!

That's all for now!

CIAO! LOVE ME!

{boxes... boxes... boxes}

Our house is FULL to the bring with boxes. Empty boxes, full boxes, boxes everywhere! This week was the first major packing weekend. Yes, Jay and I have packed a few boxes and taken them to his parents house to store for the time being, but that was nothing compared to what my mom and I packed this weekend.

Like I mentioned in my last post, my mom came up for a day to help pack some boxes and we definitely got some hard work done. We probably packed a good 30-40 boxes full of stuff and there is still more that needs to get packed! Good thing we have some boxes left over! We were able to get all of the stuff stored in the master bedroom closet packed, the stuff in Ayden's closet packed, books packed, winter stuff packed, office stuff packed, stuffed animal packed, pictures off of the walls packed. It definitely looks like we are moving now. The walls are mostly empty and it feels weird. We packed her jeep full of boxes to take home and packed Jay's truck full already.

We also organized the garage better and there is much less in there that needs to be done... still a lot to do, definitely, but the big moving day shouldn't be as bad as it would be if we didn't have a month's headstart, that is for sure. Only 41 day until our last day in Stevens Point... well hopefully. I am hoping that we can leave that Friday and never look back, but a few things need to fall into place for that to happen, otherwise, we'll probably still be here that Saturday and Sunday cleaning. Keep your fingers crossed for us though because I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to have that Saturday, Sunday, and Monday to start unpacking and settling into our new house. I don't think it has quite sunk in yet that I will probably be living out of boxes and in a state of disarray for probably the next two months. Oh well though. One day at a time!

While my mom was here we also had a cub scout event that went well and then Ayden and I took my mom out to eat at a yummy pizza place in Point. Good pizza! Then we pigged out on chocolate easter bunnies when we got home, hehe! It was a good night.

Unfortunately, Ayden decided that he wanted to be up at 6:00am this morning, which meant we were all up pretty early. WAY too early for a Saturday, that is for sure, but we were able to start packing by 8:00am and I am sure that is why we were able to get so much done today. It actually felt really good to get as much done as we did because now I won't have to do so much myself. I mean, I can still pack things here and there by myself, but it won't be such a rush to get it done. But packing all day has definitely left me drained! I have yet to sit down and actually watch any TV. This is the first time I am sitting down and just putting my feet up because after working all day, I got in my workout for the day.

I used yesterday as my 'off' day, mostly because I just couldn't get myself motivated to do the Fire 55EZ workout that I knew was on schedule, but that just meant I had to do it tonight. I busted it out tonight and have finished Week 3 of Turbo Fire! So proud of myself for sticking with it so far. There are defnitely times when I don't really feel like working out, but I do anyways. Take tonight for examaple, it was almost an hour long workout and as I started it, I was dreading the whole thing. But I kept pushing through and kept going and I finished with a bang! I am determined to make it past at least Week 5 because that is where I stopped the last time I stuck to it for so long. Plus, I always feel so much better after working out. It is becoming less and less about weight and more and more about feeling healthy. Some days are definitely still easier than others when it comes to eating healthy and this week has been harder than usual with all of the easter candy in the house, but I think I am going to make Jay take a lot of that back with him so it isn't so hard for me. When I don't have anything to snack on, I don't snack on anything. Well, we do have some healthier options that I know I could choose.

We picked up the green paint for Ayden's bed today. I picked out the new fabric for our kitchen chairs yesterday (got a super deal on it). Jay is almost finished making my new welcome mat for the entrance to our new house. The weather has been nice, but storms are supposed to be coming in late tonight or tomorrow at some point. And... I am going to go crash!

CIAO! LOVE ME!

{nothing interesting}

Come one, come all, to the most non interesting blog post in the world of blog posts, haha! What a week it has been at our house and I say that with the most sarcastic smile on my face ever! In all reality, it hasn’t been THAT bad of a week, or even a slightly bad week, but it hasn’t been all that exciting or wonderful either.

I did complete two assignments that are due in a few weeks ahead of time so I was semi productive. I did start on my capstone slide show presentation; however, I don’t necessarily think copying some graphs from a word document into a PowerPoint document qualifies as super stressful.

I continued to workout like non other and have almost kicked Week 3 of Turbo Fire in the booty! One more day to go and it’s the Fire 55EZ workout… the longest one. But I’ll get it done, I’m too far invested in it at this point to not do it, hehe!

I ate pretty healthy all week during the day, but then pigged out on Easter candy most nights after working out. Oops! You’re telling me that I shouldn’t have done that? I am proud to say that I have not let any chocolate touch my lips tonight (yet)! And I am fully prepared to NOT eat any chocolate tonight. Especially after how I gorged myself last night. Nope, not proud of it ONE bit! Pretty shameful sneaking into the kitchen at almost 9pm for some chocolate and crawling back into bed with a solid chocolate Easter bunny and proceeding to eat the WHOLE thing! It wasn’t a HUGE one, but it was definitely big enough and I had definitely eaten a large handful of mini candy bars earlier in the night. Totally screwed my whole workout up from last night, haha! But I got over it and today was a new day and I done good!

Ayden and I continue to miss Jay.

But… tomorrow means it’s just one less week we have to spend apart.

My mom is visiting tomorrow to help us pack some. I probably mentioned that already. In fact, I’m almost certain I mentioned that in my last post. So now you for SURE know that my mom is coming. We are excited, okay, I am excited. I enjoy visiting with my mom.

We are currently borrowing Jay’s great grandma’s kitchen table and chairs set. It is pretty antique-ish and even though I love it, I’d prefer something of our own and something I didn’t feel like I needed to be super careful with. It is not in the best shape looks wise, but it is very sturdy. It could be sanded down and refinished, but that isn’t our call. The chairs need to be reupholstered though and Jay’s grandma has agreed to do that for us if we provide the fabric. I am excited to go find some new fabric, but I don’t know what I want to go with. The chairs and table are painted with a small design, so I’ll probably stick with that sort of color scheme, but I would love to find something bold and funky as well! On the other hand, our living room will be earthy neutral colors so I don’t want to the chairs to stick out like a sore thumb. Maybe we’ll find something this weekend.

And that my faithful readers just about sums up my week!

It is time to go watch some Swamp People with my favorite little guy in the whole world!

CIAO! LOVE ME!

{tick tock, tick tock}

We were able to visit our new house again this past weekend and it only reassured me that we made the right decision in renting it. And, it only made me dream about it all weekend long and become obsessed with it yet AGAIN! Just walking through it again and picturing the finished product has me more excited than I was last time and more anxious to move in than before. Ugh, the next month is going to go so slow until we are able to see it again. Actually, it might just be another two weeks before because they said we could move some things into the basement whenever we wanted. We will probably ove some of the boxes from Jay's parents house to the basement the next time I have to come home. Well, it's probably three weeks from now. In any case, it's exciting!

We were also able to help the landlords pick out some paint colors for the kitchen, bathroom, and living/dining room. We are getting an accent wall, an accent wall! I cannot tell you how excited I am about that! It is going to look so cool! Even just a little bit of color is going to be awesome. We did find out that our TV stand and TV will fit where we want to put it and that Ayden's new room is going to be the same size as his current room so that is awesome and our new room is just a touch bigger (with bigger closests). I didn't bother measuring the toy room, but given the fact that we are getting rid of a bunch of stuff it shouldn't matter. Also, we now have an entire basement for storage too, besides the toy room. It will be great.

Jay is building Ayden a loft bed with a desk and a bunch of shelves under it and I am super excited to see the finished product. The loft part of it is essentially done already and for a fraction of the price that I thought it would cost because Jay's grandparents ended up having some wood that we could use. Awesome! I am planning on painting it a bright blue with a bright limey green accent color on the desk and ladder rungs. My 'theme' for Ayden's new room is bold and bright colors! I found him the perfect new comforter at Good Will this past Friday for a super good price. I am excited about it, that is all that matters, haha! Ayden and I are going to make some splatter painted canvases for his room too.

Our Easter weekend was okay. Well, my Easter weekend was okay. Jay worked Saturday morning and Ayden and I went to my mom's house and colored eggs with her, my sister, her boyfriend, and my brother and had some super good food. Ah, stupid diet out the window this weekend. Jay's mom made some super good food Friday and Saturday night and my mom fed us great on Saturday afternoon, not to mention all of the Easter candy and other Easter food. I tried to be semi good, but we will see what the scale says tomorrow morning. I got up early Friday morning and worked out then, took yesterday off, and worked out tonight when we got home. I think I might be slightly addicted to working out because it really bothered me yesterday that I didn't do anything and the whole drive home today all I could think about was getting my workout in. Plus, I think not working out yesterday really affected my mood today.

My mom and I went to go see The Hunger Games on Saturday night and I have to say for a movie based off of a book, it was really good. There were a few things that were different, but overall I really liked it. I was happy that my mom decided to join me. She is also going to be venturing up our way this weekend to help with a bit of packing. How sweet, right?! World's best mom? Quite possibly!

My weekend with Jay this weekend was actually pretty craptastic, but I wasn't expecting anything better. He honestly just annoyed me this whole weekend, or maybe I was just easily annoyed. I didn't even say goodbye to him when we left my Grandma's house today... he was playing cards and Ayden and I just left. I was just in an icky mood and wanted to get home and him and I just argued basically the whole weekend or didn't even see each other. Whatever. I was just over the entire weekend and wanted to come home today. I was sick of people in general and wanted to be at my house. Working out tonight only my made my mood slightly better. And that was only because I rocked a 45 minute workout. Sometimes you just need to be at your own home and in your own element and I needed that tonight.

I think Jay's mom is pretty excited that we are moving closer to home. I think she loves having both of her boys living at home right now. But, I really can't blame her, because as a parent you enjoy seeing your children... obviously. I only overheard her telling at least five different family members about us moving home. It was cute, hehe! I just wish Jay would have told her the exact reason why he started his new job when he did because she has that part wrong. It isn't a big deal though. What bugs me is that Jay feels he needs to do so much work for his parents now that he is staying there. I agree that it is nice that he does help them out and that he should in some respects, but he is comparing all of the work that he is doing to what his brother isn't doing and then shoving it in his brother's face. It's like, get over it. You are not responsible for your brother or what he does, let him live his life. It's not like your parents are shoving thing after thing down your throat of what they want you to do. You are CHOOSING to do all of the extra work. Are they appreciative, OF COURSE, but don't shove it in your brother's face. Part of me thinks once we move back to town Jay will never be at home because he will be too busy helping everyone else or doing other stuff. I like our lives apart from everyone else. I like having our own little element and what scares me the most is losing that. I may hate driving an hour and a half to see my family, but I am totally okay with only seeing them once every few weeks. I don't want to be seeing or doing stuff with my family or his family every weekend. I'm hoping it doesn't end up like that... we'll see... I shouldn't worry about the 'what ifs', it is pointless. I have better ways of preoccuping my mind, better things I should be doing.

Hoping tomorrow I am in a better mood...

CIAO! LOVE ME!

{i miss daddy}

Ayden and I walked in the house last night at 5:45pm and the first words out of his mouth were 'Hi Daddy!', when in reality he meant to say 'Hi Diesel' because it was our cat that was greeting us at the door, not daddy. Then he proceeded to tell me that he missed daddy. Me too, kiddo, me too! I knew that at some point Ayden would miss Jay during the week, I just didn't know how vocal he was going to be about it. Ayden loves his daddy, but he is definitely a momma's boy (at least for the time being), so it was nice to hear him be vocal about it. We're still plugging away through the week alone.
Last night was a little crazy right when we got home. First off, it was almost 6:00pm and I was feeling a little down that Ayden was at school/before and after school care, over ten hours yesterday. That is almost a whole half of the day. Mommy guilt starting to settle in that I didn't get to spend more time with him yesterday. We were out the door in the morning by 6:45am and didn't walk back in until 5:45pm. I had had a long day at clinic (I suppose I should get used to those, right?!), I was tired, and I still had to make supper.

Ayden wanted to play on my computer when we got home and I was okay with that. However, he was a little impatient with my computer loading and started hitting buttons and then when it did load, the internet wasn't working. I was frustrated with that because I really needed it to work last night because I had homework that I needed upload because it was due today. I was frantically trying to get that to work (I did manage to fix it) as I was trying to start supper. I had preheated the toaster oven and apparently there was a tray in it that had some crumbs on yet and they started to char and smoke and then it smelt bad. It was just a bit overwhelming for a little bit and I was letting it get to me.

Supper turned out fine... Ayden had a left over burger and some smiley face potatoes and I had a Body By Vi shake (chocolate peanut butter banana) and some smiley face potatoes. Honestly, these shakes are delicious. My cousin had pointed out to me that they contain MSGs. Thank you for your insight, because I know you are reading this, hehe! Apparently, I didn't do too much in-depth research about the shakes before just deciding to buy and try them. It shows, lol.

I've since read a little bit about MSGs now because I didn't really know what they were in the first place and although some of the stuff I read wasn't too hot, it didn't affect my personal decision. I know in some cases, it would point someone away from Body By Vi, but it didn't me. It is all a personal choice, that is what people need to remember. I eat A LOT of things that are not good for me, have done so for a LONG time! I'm pretty sure I could make better choices that box macaroni and cheese or Oscar Meyer hot dogs or ramen noodles (and I have been lately trying to be a little conscious about my choices), but for someone to HATES cooking, these make it easier for me, haha! I probably won't ever go organic or all natural, it's just not for me. There will always be something that we are doing to our bodies that someone else thinks is bad, its just a fact of life. It goes the same for everything else in life, everyone has different viewpoints on things.

Anyways, back to our night... after supper I called Jay quickly and uploaded my homework before going to work out. Last night it was a 15 minute HIIT workout and then some body sculpting and dang, my shoulders still ache from it. Tonight is the 55 minute Fire workout and although it is long, I enjoy it. By the time I got done working out it was almost Ayden's bed time and I feel like we didn't spend any time together last night. More mommy guilt. But I sort of brought that one on myself since I could have worked out after Ayden went to bed.

This week seems to be dragging on. Despite the fact that yesterday went pretty fast with our busy clinic schedule, it was still a long day. Like I said, I worked out last night and plan on working out thru Friday and using Saturday as my off day since we will be gone. I had thought about walking from Jay's parents house to my mom's house on Saturday when we head over there. It is only about four miles and a good four mile walk would do me good; however, I don't think Ayden will walk the four miles with me and I'd have no other way of getting him over there. We'll see though. Maybe I will walk it back since it will hopefully be warmer then. Check that, I just checked the weather forecast for that area and out of the next seven days, Saturday into Sunday is the only day that has the potential for rain. So, we'll just have to wait and see.

My friend and classmate, Katie, is coming over tonight for some pizza and to study and gossip. We haven't really gotten to talk in a couple of weeks with spring breaks and the audiology conference so it will be nice. Plus I am itching for some adult time as well. I don't get my fill with my supervisors on Tuesdays and Thursdays, it is just not the same as it is with friends, haha! So I am excited about that, but first I need to do some grocery shopping.

CIAO! LOVE ME!

{body by vi}

It is April 1st and I have to say that I didn’t blog nearly as much in February or March as I would have liked to. Once again, the rush of the semester has caught up to me and each day that flies by is one more day that I do not get back. Being in the thick of a semester, attempting to study for the Praxis (but not really getting anywhere on that), working on that dreaded capstone project of mine, Jay started a new job and us finding a new place to live, each day ends before I realize it has even begun and that doesn’t leave much time for blogging. Sad face, because I really do enjoy blogging!

My first solo week with Ayden went really well. We didn’t really ‘miss’ Jay here at home, as Ayden and I slip into a pretty good routine when he is away even for the weekend. Ayden helps quite a bit around the house, the house in general seems to stay neater because I have to do all of the work, so I keep up on it much better, and both Ayden and I managed to not get at each others throats too much. All of that aside, we did miss having daddy at home with us overall, especially his cooking, hehe! Jay did come home from Friday night through suppertime on Saturday, but had to leave then because he had to work this morning. I didn’t realize how much I missed him until I woke up this morning. I think this week is going to be a little bit harder than last week, especially since I do not have class this week because it is Madison spring break. I will still work and might work longer than usual just to keep myself busy and I will have clinic like usual on Tuesday and Thursday.

We are hopefully going to be seeing our house again this week. I love calling it our house (even though we are just renting it). I am excited to see the progress that the owners have made on it. I think I am going to take some pictures this time, just to be able to show our families and such. I think they all know where the house is and probably have driven past it by now, but it will be fun to show them at least how things are progressing on the inside.

Speaking of moving, we are in full on packing mode at our current place. Okay, not full on packing because Ayden and I still have two months to live here, but we have at least started the process. We have a ton of boxes courtesy of my dad and a lady that I work with who recently moved so I think we are good on that front. We have started to go through some stuff in our basement and separate out stuff that we want to keep and stuff that we want to sell at a rummage sale. We are going to be having one heck of a major rummage sale this summer, that is for sure! AND… we finally put away our Christmas decorations! We had them all just sitting in the basement ready to be boxed up, but I just never felt like it. Done… finally! It only took three months, hey, don’t judge, haha! Jay loaded up his truck with boxes that were packed and took them to store at his parents house for the next couple of weeks. Throughout this week I plan on boxing up some more stuff that we most likely won’t need until after we move, stuff that needs to be sold… Also, my mom is most likely coming up in a few weeks to help too. We think we have a date in mind of when we want to do the ‘big’ move with most of the furniture and stuff. We are hoping we have enough help/vehicles and good weather. I just hope that as the day gets closer I don’t get more stressed with everything. I am trying to keep positive about the whole situation!

So, finally getting to the title of this post… Body By Vi. I have a friend on Facebook who was trying this new weight loss system. It is a meal replacement system that involved drinking shakes. Pretty similar to Shakeology by Beach Body if you’ve ever heard of that. There are multiple levels of the program you can try. You all know that I’ve been struggling to lose these last five pounds for a while now and I thought I might give this a try. The hype was that these shakes taste like CAKE! My friend had been following the plan for about a week and had already lost a decent amount of weight. I caved and bought the cheapest ‘system’ which provides me with enough protein mix for one shake a day for 30 days. I was pretty skeptical that it would really taste like cake though. I have to say, the protein mix itself smells like a cake mix… taste like it… well I have yet to try it alone. They have a million gazillion recipes you can make with this mix. There is one called Triple Chocolate Smash that is delish! Then there is another one called Banana Nut Cake which is TO DIE FOR! I’ve tried a Birthday Cake recipe as well and that one was good, but not as good as the other too. I have a ton of recipes I cannot wait to try!

I’ve only had the product since Thursday and have only been drinking one shake a day, along with working out, so I cannot say that it is being super effective for me like it has been with my friend who introduced me to it. She has more weight to lose than I do and she got a large ‘system’ that I did. She is drinking two shakes a day and taking some other supplements as well. I did not buy the product to lose five pounds in a week. I do not think it will be the miracle cure all for me, but the shakes are good and it is one less meal a day that I have to cook, haha! Plus, if it helps, it helps! I am also continuing on with the Turbo Fire program and have successfully made it to Week 2 without giving up! When I would always retry starting the program I would have the hardest time getting past Day 4 (the longest workout in Week 1), but this week I pushed through and did it without stopping! So I consider that a big accomplishment! I have also been pretty conscientious about tracking my calories this week as well!

I have successfully taken (at least) one picture EVERY day since January 1st for my Project 365! I am stoked about that! I have been pretty good about remembering early enough in the day as well, but almost forgot on Friday when I had to crawl out of bed at 10pm because I had just remembered, haha! Won’t be doing that again anytime soon! I told Jay to go take one for me, but he wouldn’t and let me tell you, it was hard crawling out of a nice warm bed! But I liked the picture I ended up taking!

I’ve been pretty productive today so far… completed two assignments, washed, folded and put away laundry, and now I am going to go veg on the couch for a little while with some Lifetime Movie Network!

CIAO! LOVE ME!