{denial}

I think I am in denial. I have been living this week so far as if we are not moving almost EVERYTHING out of our house this weekend. I have yet to pack anything more. I walk past the stack of flat boxes in the living room without giving them a second glance. I sit on the couch or lay in bed and refuse to think about sleeping in a new house. I don't want to move. I don't want to leave Stevens Point. If you asked me this a year ago (or probably even go back and reread some of my posts from a year ago) you would find a completely different person who wanted to move and start over some place new. Time changes people. Put into the position, I know now that I am not ready to uproot my life and start a new. I know that I do not have any other choice at this point in time. I am just scared. I am scared of the unknown and what is to come. I am scared to face reality and start my life without being in school everyday (or every other day). I've been an 'adult' in SO many ways for the last seven and a half years, but not in the one way that matters most, making a living in the working world.

Sure, throw me under the bus and have me have a baby at age 18 and I'll prove to you that, yes, I can do it and I can do it all while still continuing to go to college, graduating, and then going back to school. I can pay my bills (with the help of student loans, haha), work part time, get (almost) straight 'A's, and raise a child. But work 40 hours a week?! Ha! It's time to do the real growing up and I'm just not ready! Okay, so I am MORE than ready to be done with school and class and campus drama, but the whole working 40 hours a week thing is a little scary. I don't think my body is ready for that, haha!

Speaking of my body... my legs, more specifically, my shins, are KILLING me! I started the Couch to 5K training program on Monday and I didn't think that Day 1 was too bad. It comprised of a five minute warm up walk and then eight intervals of 60 second runs and 90 second walks. I made it through and was proud of myself and didn't think that my body was suffer too much. Even that short amount killed my shins. The program that I am following is designed to be ran three days a week. I had thought about trying to run it more than that to build up endurance faster, but now know that I cannot (at least at first) because my shins cannot take it right away. But I'm hoping to make today Day 2 and even though my shins still hurt, I think I am up for the challenge. (I have been eating like crap ALL week so far and I think that that has had some effect on my current mood status as well. Putting bad food into me, making myself feel guilty for putting bad food into me, and then just overall having the bad food make me feel bad.)

*I started this post on Monday and will hopefully finally publish it sometime today. And by the way, I did Day 2 of my C25K program and it went really well. My shins didn't hurt too bad and I took the advice of many and iced them afterwards for quite a while last night and they are feeling almost back to normal this morning. Thinking about doing Day 3 today since I probably won't get any time to this weekend.*

I have not been doing my Turbo Fire workout. I made it through Week 6, which was one week further than I made it the last time, but then I just got bored with it and the weather has gotten nicer and I cannot workout in the dreary basement anymore. Instead I have been biking. I think I mentioned that I biked 15 miles on Saturday morning. Well, after my run/walk on Monday, Ayden and I biked 5.6 miles after he got home from school and then Tuesday afternoon I biked 15.1 miles again. My bike ride on Tuesday was definitely more scenic than my one on Saturday. Saturdays ride was down and back a straight paved path, while Tuesdays ride was all around town on the Green Circle trail. I was up and down some huge hills, but was super proud that I never had to get off my bike and walk up any of them. And some were MASSIVE!

So, before I continued to write more and not post this, I think I'm going to post it right now.

CIAO! LOVE ME!