{first few days}

Life right now is a bit overwhelming and I’m finally sitting down trying to reflect on it all. We are officially all moved into our new house; however, that doesn’t mean we are anywhere near being unpacked. Actually, I am pretty sure that we still have some boxes at Jay’s parents house (although I am inclined to believe that those are mostly rummage sale boxes).

Our house is slowly beginning to look like a home and I know deep down that it will not be my version of ‘perfect’ for a couple of weeks yet, but on the surface it is hard for me to let it take that long. I can’t stand clutter and things not where they belong so it is very hard for me to live like this right now. Both Jay and I have been go go go pretty much every waking moment since we got here Friday night. (Minus the afternoon today when we went to Jay’s cousin’s birthday party and just relaxed for awhile.)

There is actually walking space in our house now… but there are still boxes on the edges. I think what bugs me the most is that we have boxes and boxes of stuff that we want to sell in a rummage sale and that stuff can’t just be put away. Oh well though. It all will get done when it gets done. I just need to keep reminding myself that over and over and over and over, haha!

I have to say that it has been pretty great to spend so much time together as a family though, even though I haven’t been sleeping super great yet. I am looking forward to getting into more of a routine though in the coming weeks with clinic and what not. Get this next year of my life started and get into a routine with it.

I want to take pictures and share with everyone, but I don’t want to take the pictures until we have everything settled in and pictures on the walls and it looking like I want it to, hehe! For now, if you are my friend on Facebook, you can live vicariously through the sneak peaks that I have been putting up.

I feel like there is so much that I want to do with the house, especially outside and I feel like the summer is going to be over before we are able to get any of it done. I know that summer hasn’t even really started, but there is really only three or four good months of warm(ish) weather and I am hoping that this summer is a lot warmer than it was last summer.

I haven’t worked out yet this weekend and I won’t be as it is almost midnight Sunday night already. I was going to yesterday; however, I was just beat after lifting and moving things all day yesterday. I was on my feet all day long. Then today, I know that I could have, but I just couldn’t tear myself away from moving stuff and putting things away for even an hour. Dreadful excuse, I know, haha! And my eating habits this weekend has been pretty horrible as well. But, on a brighter note, Jay has this pull-up thing for exercising and he hung it on one of our doors this afternoon and told me to do a pull-up and guess what?! I was able to do one! I have NEVER in my life been able to do a pull-up and today I rocked it! I was so surprised! Go me! Haha!

I think Ayden is having a bit of a hard time adjusting to the new house. He has been sort of aimlessly wandering around the last two days and saying he is bored. I kid you not, this kid played with ONLY legos for the last week while we were in Point and didn’t say he was bored once and now while we are at our new house with ALL of his toys, he is suddenly bored. Um, I think he’s just overwhelmed by it all kind of. It will take him a bit to get used to.

I have to say that I already miss the bigger stores in Stevens Point. We went to Walmart in town yesterday to look for a few things that I knew the Walmart in Point had, but I couldn’t even find one of it in Chilton. The perks of living in a small town, right?!

Despite that let down, something good did happen while we were at Walmart. As we were walking into the store, Jay had asked me how many people he thought we would run into that we knew. I told him that I better not see anyone I know and wouldn’t you know, not even ten seconds into the store I run into someone I know. That someone just happened to be my old daycare teacher! It was SO great to see her again and catch up for a bit, REALLY great actually! I told Jay that if I had to run into someone I knew, she was someone I wouldn’t mind. We also had to run to Walmart for a few things today and saw someone else we knew (didn’t actually talk to them though). I said that maybe I need to keep track of the number of times I go to Walmart and don’t run into anyone I know because that will probably be the fewer of the two, haha! Whereas if I were to go to the store in Point, I probably would see someone I knew 1 out of 20 visits. Ah, the perks of a small town… I will get used to it, I will get used to it, I will get used to it, haha!

In all honesty though, I think we are settling into the house quite nicely and it will be a good place for us to live for at least the next year, maybe longer. Will deal, that’s for sure!

And now since it is almost 11:30pm, I shall go crawl into bed…

CIAO! LOVE ME!

{against my better judgement}

This week has been all about relaxation and enjoying the sunshine (and maybe a little apartment cleaning) so far and I highly intend on keeping it the same for the rest of the week.
Against my better judgement, I have not done a work out since last Friday (my run), although I'm sure I worked out enough on Saturday and Sunday during the move and I do not intend on doing another work out until this coming Saturday. Reason being, I am enjoying my relaxation and sunshine WAY too much. This will most likely be my last week off in a LONG time and I want to fully soak in no stress of school, no stress of clinic, no stress whatsoever! And it has been great! (Minus the fact that getting lost in a good book in the sunshine has left me with some painful thighs from sunburn, haha.) It helps that when I put on a pair of jean shorts this morning in a size 9, they almost fell off! Makes me feel good that they are so loose! It was the first pair of jean shorts that I had tried on so far this summer!

Furthermore, against my better judgement, I have started reading the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy. I had heard many different things about this series and the reviews I read about it on Amazon were SO back and forth. I didn't really think the books would be for me from what I had read (although I thought the same thing about the Twilight books before I read them, and then I ended up rereading the third and fourth books multiple times). Let me tell you... Fifty Shades of Grey is total SMUT and I have been thoroughly sucked in. Haha! Seriously, its really too bad Jay is living in Chilton right now. Lol, sorry, TMI!

My days this week have been all the same. Go to work in the morning for a few hours, go home, sit outside in the sun and get sucked into the world of Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey for a few hours, clean the house a bit, pick up Ayden and chill with him at night while trying to sneak in some more Ana and Christian before going to bed and repeating it all over again in the morning. Honestly, I couldn't have asked for any better weather this week for sitting outside and reading. I do have a feeling that getting sucked into these books has made the week go faster. I have to say that I have watched little to no TV, I haven't turned on my laptop. In fact, the only time I am actually on the computer is when I am at work. I get my fill of Facebook through my phone, and even that has been minimal during the day. People, I am addicted to this trilogy! I just might cry when it is over, haha!

I am about 3/4 of the way through the second book and plan on finishing that today and possibly starting the third one too, but I have told myself that after I finish the second book today that I will finish my cleaning. I have the shower, toliet, vanity top, one window, kitchen floor, kitchen counter tops, and living room floor to clean yet. It may sound like a lot, but we have minimal counter tops, so washing them will take less than five minutes. Our vanity is small, so same. The living room floor just needs to be vacuumed tomorrow morning... five minutes or less. Our kitchen floor is small enough, so I'm thinking mopping that will take less than a half hour. The window, small... 10 minutes... It is the toliet and shower that will take longer... thinking an hour or less for both. So it is maybe about two hours worth of cleaning. Let me tell you though, if I never smell Pinesol again, it will be too soon, haha!

I am mostly just craving to sleep on my own bed again, haha! Okay, so I am more than ready to have my family put back together! After 60 days of living apart, we are ready to be whole again. I had no idea how I was going to make it through the end of the semester being a single parent for two months, but Ayden and I banded together and we made it. I managed straight 'A's this semester which is awesome! The stress has lifted for the time being.

I know that in one of my last posts I had a mini mental breakdown about how scared I was about moving away from Stevens Point. Over the course of this week and after moving everything into our new house, I am not as scared anymore. Yes, it will be different and new, but it will also be great and wonderful. We have so many family members that are excited for us to be closer and it warms my heart. We have so many old and new friends waiting for us as well. Despite the fact that I said I would never move back to Chilton, I can feel the love and welcoming arms open and waiting for us to return 'home'. Returning to ones home town is not in the cards for everyone, but I know and feel in my heart that it is right for us at this point in our lives. I will still miss Stevens Point A LOT, but I am feeling so much more at peace about the whole thing.

I look at my post count since January and have realized that I tend to follow a pattern... at the beginning of the year, I tend to post a lot more during the month. My guess is that it is because in January I am not in class for the majority of the time and have more free time. Then as the semester starts up again, my free time diminishes and I do not blog as much. Now it is almost the end of May and I have blogged half as much as I did in January and it makes me sad. I LOVE blogging. I love reading blogs and I love writing my blog.

I know that part of the reason that I haven't blogged much this month is due to the fact that the majority of it has been the same. Who wants to read the same thing over and over every day? I would probably lose the few readers I do have if I wrote 'I woke up, went to school, came home, went to bed' over and over every day. Although, I know I shouldn't be worried about the number of readers I have since I mostly write this blog for myself as an outlet. But, truth be told, it does make me feel good when I know at least a few people happened upon my blog during the day and continue to read.

What is funny is that I have a whole list of blogs that I read on a daily basis... most of them I 'lurk' on, which means I am not a normal commentor... I have been reading these blogs for a few years now and to be honest, I feel like I know these people on some level. For some reason I happened upon their blog, got hooked, and continue to read. Call my crazy, but I love the world of blogging and don't plan on stopping any time soon!

CIAO! LOVE ME!

{phase one: complete}

We had a super busy and productive weekend and I am exhausted! And, Ayden and I have officially made our last drive INTO Point (for at least awhile) tonight and it was a bitter sweet feeling.

I am currently sitting on a blow up bed that is in our living room with a table lamp as my only light and the TV set up on a box of legos. Good living, right? (Okay, so I was sitting like that last night and then got caught up in a TV show that was on and didn't finish blogging, oops!)

Oh wait, I didn't mention that there is a lawn chair set up and a make shift table for Ayden to use. Haha! We are definitely living the high life this week, that is for sure! Ayden is currently sleeping on his own blow up mattress in a room that has a bag full of clothes and a few toys. Our basement is empty, except for a mop and bucket, my bedroom is empty except for the vaccum cleaner, the kitchen is empty except for a small selection of food and a few eating utensils, and the garage is empty except for our bikes. The cat isn't even at our house any longer.

Our wonderful family helped us move everything else to the new place today (yesterday). There is no way Jay and I would have been able to move everything ourselves in such a short time. NO WAY! I cannot thank our family enough for all of their help! My mom came up to to help pack and clean twice and then one more trip to help move more of the big stuff. Jay's parents came up twice this weekend with a trailer to help move. The help iteslf means a lot, but with the price of gas and these people driving gas hog trucks and hauling trailers, it means even more! Despite all of the hard work everyone put in this weekend, it was pretty stress free and overall I had a very good weekend. Am I glad that the majority of the heavy lifting and moving boxes from one house to another is over. Now comes the unpacking part which can be both fun and exhausting in itself.

I have stared to go through some stuff and put things in the places that I think I want them. It will take a good month or so to get everything where it belongs and to feel really settled in, but life is usually like that when you move. It is fun and exciting trying to decide where to put everything. It will come. And it seems like Diesel, our cat, has made the transition pretty easily as well. He was very skittish at first with everyone in and out of the house and so many boxes and the new surroundings, but I expected him to be as much. Later in the day after everyone had left and it settled down, he came out more to explore and check things out. I even saw him use his litter box which was my biggest concern.

I think my younger sister Alexis is in love with us living right down the street. My dad and her came over both Saturday and Sunday and Alexis ended up staying later and playing with Ayden. I think those two are going to get into a lot of trouble together this summer, hehe! But that is totally okay with me. I think she was sad that Ayden and I had to come back to Point for another week because she didn't want to go home quite yet when we left last night. I told her she could maybe sleep over this Friday once we are there for good. It really helped to have her there to keep Ayden company while everyone was moving boxes in and out. They kept each other busy and Ayden was outside the majority of the day instead of inside watching TV.

Ayden and I have a semi busy week ahead of us as well. Tonight, I think we are going to ride our bikes to the beach for one last time. Tomorrow is his Spring concert at school and then tomorrow night is looking for baby fawns with Cub Scouts and grilling out with them. I would like to get together with one of my friends on Wednesday or Thursday before we leave Point and then Thursday night is going out to eat at Golden Corral. Then... Friday... it's heading to our new home!

Can't believe my externship starts next week! Gah!

CIAO! LOVE ME!

{denial}

I think I am in denial. I have been living this week so far as if we are not moving almost EVERYTHING out of our house this weekend. I have yet to pack anything more. I walk past the stack of flat boxes in the living room without giving them a second glance. I sit on the couch or lay in bed and refuse to think about sleeping in a new house. I don't want to move. I don't want to leave Stevens Point. If you asked me this a year ago (or probably even go back and reread some of my posts from a year ago) you would find a completely different person who wanted to move and start over some place new. Time changes people. Put into the position, I know now that I am not ready to uproot my life and start a new. I know that I do not have any other choice at this point in time. I am just scared. I am scared of the unknown and what is to come. I am scared to face reality and start my life without being in school everyday (or every other day). I've been an 'adult' in SO many ways for the last seven and a half years, but not in the one way that matters most, making a living in the working world.

Sure, throw me under the bus and have me have a baby at age 18 and I'll prove to you that, yes, I can do it and I can do it all while still continuing to go to college, graduating, and then going back to school. I can pay my bills (with the help of student loans, haha), work part time, get (almost) straight 'A's, and raise a child. But work 40 hours a week?! Ha! It's time to do the real growing up and I'm just not ready! Okay, so I am MORE than ready to be done with school and class and campus drama, but the whole working 40 hours a week thing is a little scary. I don't think my body is ready for that, haha!

Speaking of my body... my legs, more specifically, my shins, are KILLING me! I started the Couch to 5K training program on Monday and I didn't think that Day 1 was too bad. It comprised of a five minute warm up walk and then eight intervals of 60 second runs and 90 second walks. I made it through and was proud of myself and didn't think that my body was suffer too much. Even that short amount killed my shins. The program that I am following is designed to be ran three days a week. I had thought about trying to run it more than that to build up endurance faster, but now know that I cannot (at least at first) because my shins cannot take it right away. But I'm hoping to make today Day 2 and even though my shins still hurt, I think I am up for the challenge. (I have been eating like crap ALL week so far and I think that that has had some effect on my current mood status as well. Putting bad food into me, making myself feel guilty for putting bad food into me, and then just overall having the bad food make me feel bad.)

*I started this post on Monday and will hopefully finally publish it sometime today. And by the way, I did Day 2 of my C25K program and it went really well. My shins didn't hurt too bad and I took the advice of many and iced them afterwards for quite a while last night and they are feeling almost back to normal this morning. Thinking about doing Day 3 today since I probably won't get any time to this weekend.*

I have not been doing my Turbo Fire workout. I made it through Week 6, which was one week further than I made it the last time, but then I just got bored with it and the weather has gotten nicer and I cannot workout in the dreary basement anymore. Instead I have been biking. I think I mentioned that I biked 15 miles on Saturday morning. Well, after my run/walk on Monday, Ayden and I biked 5.6 miles after he got home from school and then Tuesday afternoon I biked 15.1 miles again. My bike ride on Tuesday was definitely more scenic than my one on Saturday. Saturdays ride was down and back a straight paved path, while Tuesdays ride was all around town on the Green Circle trail. I was up and down some huge hills, but was super proud that I never had to get off my bike and walk up any of them. And some were MASSIVE!

So, before I continued to write more and not post this, I think I'm going to post it right now.

CIAO! LOVE ME!

{picture post}

I haven’t done a picture post in a while and although this won’t be just pictures, it will primarily be pictures… pictures of the last couple of days.

Here are some pretty bleeding hearts that we have in our back yard. They have quickly become one of my favorite flowers. We have some white ones in our front yard at our new house.Little man cuddling on the couch a couple of hours after having his teeth pulled this past week. He was such a brave little guy and didn’t cry at all (until we got home at the numbing medication started to wear off) and he was back to his normal crazy self by the afternoon!Myself and my fellow AuD classmates on capstone presentation day in Madison! We all rocked out presentations!A little sneak peak of our new house! Definitely more pictures to come when we have everything moved in and mostly put away, might be a few weeks yet though! Hehe!My mom, sister, brother, and myself on Mother’s Day this year. There is a whole story behind the shirts that I might tell in a different post. It is a story all it’s own, lol!Me after a 15 MILE bike ride on Saturday morning at 7:30am! I rocked it!Ayden doing some fishing with his cub scout group last week.Reeling in a big one!Ayden and his best buddy with the carp! Ayden wouldn’t hold it, haha! And don’t you love his rolled up pants?!And I just thought this was too cute not to post!CIAO! LOVE ME!

{fin-ito}

The semester is over and I can take a deep breath and relax, for the next two weeks that is. Part of me wishes that I wouldn't have decided to start my externship so soon after this semester has ended and maybe given myself another week, but the other part of me knows that the earlier I start the sooner I will get done and get a job.

Capstone day went well. I am still kind of reeling from the fact that in all likelihood I will not see most or maybe all of my Madison classmates ever again and to be honest it is kind of sad. When I started graduate school I sort of felt like we would not really bond because we were on seperate campuses, but three years later and even though we only see each other through a TV screen the majority of the time, we kind of all became one. I have to say, I will definitely miss them. But I know that we all are SO ready to move on with our lives, especially after the craptastic last semester that we had.

But back to capstones... we all survived and I think that we all did a pretty darn good job as well! SO happy to have that over with though. Glad that the stress of that is off of our shoulders. Now it is a waiting game for our Praxis scores to see if I passed that or not.

It has been a good weekend so far. It is Mother's Day today and I sit and look at my little man and I feel like I could not be more blessed! No matter what kind of day I am having he knows how to cheer me up. This morning he came into the bedroom and came over to the bed and gave me a big hug and the first thing he said was Happy Mother's Day... too sweet. On a side note though, over the past couple of weeks it has become habit for him to come crawl into bed with me for about a half hour in the morning before we both get up. This morning it wasn't overly early so instead of both of us just laying there in silence while I tried to go back to sleep, we started teasing each other and just had a good time cuddling for a little while. He is just too cute!

Yesterday we were able to get the keys to our new house and I couldn't be more excited. The house turned out awesome and I cannot wait to get settled in. It is an old house, a very old house, so it is not perfect. There are definitely things that I wish could be better or newer, but overall I know that it will fit us great for at least the next year. For exampe, our bedroom door does not latch shut because it has shifted in the frame, the stairs are really steep, etc etc etc, but overall the character of the house wins out. Just walking through it yesterday left me smiling!

My sister's graduation party was also yesterday and I had a great time sitting down and talking to family without any stress of school or moving or anything over my head. Yes, I still harbor stress about moving since we have SO much work to do yet, but I am putting all of that on the back burner right now. It will get done. In the mean time, I am going to enjoy these next two weeks 'off' and just chill. I will have to go to work, but my current job is not stressful and then I will pack and clean in the afternoon. As fast as I want the next two weeks to go so we can be living as one family again, I want them to go slow too. I know that this week will probably go fast because Ayden and I have something going on every night, but that is good, since being at home at night is when I tend to pig out on food.

I did pretty good this past week with working out and eating good. I 'slipped' up eating Thursday night and Ayden and I had Arby's, but the thing was that after I picked him up from Great Escape at school we stopped at home to drop his backpack off and then went fishing with Cub Scouts until about 7pm and then I didn't want to cook after that. Then on Friday night I made pasta and I just needed a good bowl or two of that after capstone day. What I didn't 'need' was the pint of Ben and Jerry's ice cream that I ate for dessert, hehe! I used Friday as my off day from working out and then thought I woudn't work out on Saturday either, but I was up and on my bike by 7:30am and did a 15 mile bike ride! I had previously only biked 12 miles, but as I was biking, I kept telling myself, what is three more miles, you can do it. And so I just kept going and going until I hit 7.5 miles (we have a super nice path in Stevens Point that goes straight for just about that long) and then I turned around. What I had anticpated on was how hard the bike ride back home was going to be as I was biking into a pretty strong wind the whole way back. But I watched the odometer on my bike keep ticking up and up and kept telling myself, one less mile, you can do this. Those last three miles almost killed me though, hehe! I got home and was SO proud of myself. 15 miles is quite the feat! I couldn't feel my legs afterwards and my butt hurt, but it still felt good. I think that if I am going to continue to ride for that far or that long, I might need to invest in a different bike seat though.

I was talking with my grandma yesterday and she said something about if I lose anymore weight I will fly away. Well, I told her that I wasn't planning on losing anymore weight, but the comment still kind of got to me. I worked damn hard to get to where I am and I am proud of it. I like what I see in the mirror and I do not feel that I am underweight for my height and build. Also, I am NOT anorexic or have an eating problem. I eat... A LOT and I eat both healthy and non healthy foods. So, thank you grandma for your concern, but you have no idea. I mean, did you see my biceps yesterday?! Haha! The one muscle that I love on my body right now. Its as if there is no happy medium for anyone these days. Can I not be healthy and look how I look?! Oh well, I will just try and forget it. My grandparents are known to just talk and not think. Oops.

Time to finish getting ready and head to my mom's house to celebrate Mother's Day with her! Pictures of my classmates, the house, and a few other things coming soon as I am blogging from my tablet right now and it is hard to upload pictures decently on here.

CIAO! LOVE ME!

{gone and done it}

I’ve gone and done quite a few things already this week and it is only Wednesday night. Quite the productive week if you ask me, although I haven’t had to work at all.

I’ve put the finishing touches on my capstone paper.

I’ve finished up my capstone presentation (just need to practice it ALL day tomorrow and then present it at precisely 1:50pm on Friday, if you happen to look at a clock around that time, send me some good vibes my way please!).

I’ve continued to eat pretty good since Sunday, staying within my caloric limit and even enjoying a few bits of chocolate along the way.

I’ve worked out every day since Sunday and I am feeling fine! Even though I didn’t really feel like working out tonight, I got up off my lazy rear and pounded out a Fire 55EZ workout.

I read a book. Started it Monday, finished it tonight. Good book.

I finally told a friend she wasn’t going to be in our wedding. Yeah, that didn’t go over so well. We’ll see where that friendship ends up. But that is one of those things I’ll probably not share about on here.

I’ve taken a video tour of our almost finish new (to us) house! And during said video tour got to video chat with my honey a bit. I got super excited to see a glass cooktop stove, a side by side refrigerator with water and ice in the door, a dishwasher, awesome painted living room, and super cute (but small) bathroom. I also got just a teeny bit jealous that Jay got to see it in person, hehe!

I’ve passed my four year blogaversary! Four years! CanNOT believe it has been that long already! Oh, how things have changed!

And… I sat through my last ever on campus class. Bittersweet actually.

Like I said, it’s only Wednesday, ha!

To elaborate a bit… the book I read was called Save Me and it was pretty good. It started out kind of slow and then finished up kind of fast, but it was worth the money. I just needed a good read. It has felt SO relaxing this week without having to go to work and just worrying about a few capstone revisions. I cannot wait until the full weight of that is off of my shoulders by Friday night. Tomorrow is full on practicing my presentation, although, to be honest, I’m not that worried about it.

Like I said, I have been eating pretty good this week and being home most of the day and doing that has actually surprised me. However, the junk food supply in our house is actually pretty much nonexistent so it is hard to fill up on chocolate candy bars when there are none. Guess an apple will have to do. I am loving my body right now though. All of the hard core work I’ve put in the last two months of working out has gotten me to where I wanted to be. I’ve maintained my goal weight for about two weeks now, slightly fluctuating every day, but that’s to be expected. What makes me even more happy than the number on the scale though is how I feel about myself.

Excuse me for a minute while I get a little vain (hey, it’s well deserved, I worked my ass off to get this body), but I am in love with my arms and I may or may not be starting to see some ab muscles poking through. I took this picture this morning… see how much room I have in my pants?! Those pants are a size 7/8 and when I bought them around this time last year, they fit… not too snug, but not fall off my hips loose either. Now, if I didn’t wear a belt with them they wouldn’t stay up! LOVE it! And I am damn proud of myself!

I’ve worked harder than I have ever worked before in my life and the results have amazed me! I am not perfect by any means. I still have trouble eating super healthy. Part of that comes with my dislike for the kitchen altogether. But if you would have seen what I was eating only a year ago. I was drinking at least one regular Mountain Dew a day. I was not watching my portions AT ALL. I would have a big bowl of ice cream almost EVERY night… and we are not talking one or two scoops.

I no longer drink soda, except on the rare occasion that we are out at a family gathering. We don’t keep it in the house. I still crave a huge bowl of ice cream every night, but since I try not to buy it very often, I don’t eat nearly as much as I used to. I still eat WAY more processed foods than I should, but like I said, I just hate cooking. In the last two months I have tried to make an effort to at least buy more fresh fruit and baby carrots, haha! I mean, aren’t some frozen veggies good for you too?! I’ve been doing more of those. Let’s face it, I’ll always be a microwave and eat kind of girl, I despise standing in front of the stove. I despise most of the kitchen altogether. Hence why Jay does dishes and I do laundry, ha!

Katie brought her camera to school today to take a picture of our last day on campus. Once she sends the pictures to me (I wasn’t smart enough to think to bring my camera along too, but will remember it on Friday) I will be sure to post them on here. For now, I’m going to go watch some House Hunters and let it sink in that I am really done with that dreaded distance ed room. Gah!

CIAO! LOVE ME

{final week}

Today marks the final week of my third year of graduate school. The FINAL week. This week marks the last week of in class lectures I will have to sit through (minus any continuing education I’ll need to get in the coming years to keep my license up to date). It marks the last time I will be in the same room as all of my classmates. It will be the last time I sit in class with Katie and make class go faster by searching for things in Pinterest, haha!

This week is capstone week. Ugh! Haha! In all honesty, at this point in the week (Monday), I am geared up and ready to give my presentation. Ask me that on Friday morning and I will probably tell you something completely different. I just want it done and over with though. Ready to move on. Actually, just ready to MOVE!

This past weekend my mom came up to help pack and clean again. (World’s best mom award!) We were super productive and got almost the entire basement cleaned out. The only things left down there are big things that we couldn’t move up, like the futon, washer, dryer, a desk, etc… really just a handful of things. We also got the basement pretty much cleaned too. Another score!

On top of that basement being empty, we also packed away the majority of our kitchen as well and cleaned the empty cupboards. Our garage is almost packed to the brim with boxes and it should make moving next weekend a little easier and faster. I’m also hoping that we can get a lot of the place cleaned as well that weekend.

We have our tv and internet scheduled to be hooked up at the new place and we will be saving over $50 on that per month which is awesome! We will also be getting super fast internet. Our internet right now is okay, not super fast for uploading pictures, but it works. I am excited for it to be a bit faster. We are getting rid of our DVR and I know that I will miss it at first, but I will get over that. Quite honestly, it was a luxury that we didn’t need.

I’ve also registered for my ‘classes’ for this summer and fall. By that, I mean, I registered for my externship and my online seminar. Yes, unfortunately, I will be paying full time student tuition while I work 40 hours a week without getting paid. So fair, right?!

Another thing crossed off the list of things to do is change our address. Our mail will start to be forwarded by the middle of next week. Each day makes the move seem that much more real. I mean, in my head I know that it is going to happen. We have boxes everywhere and we have a new place to live, but the unrealistic person in me sometimes wants to believe that it isn’t true. After being at one place for three years, it is hard to fathom that in just a few weeks we are moving back across the state instead of just across town. EVERYTHING will be different, not just our house. I think that that is what scares me the most. Adjusting to a new city, although its not really new, I grew up there.

I talked with my mom this weekend about moving back and having everyone crowd in on us because we are back in town. I told her that I was most scared about losing the independence we have had as our own little family here in Stevens Point. We only had each other and I loved that. It was always just the three of us. I want to keep that same independence moving back home and I hope that all of our families realize that. Okay, so I know my mom and probably my dad won’t be overbearing, it is just not who they are. I know I’ve expressed these concerns on here before though. I hate to be a repeating record all of the time…

I jumped right back onto the workout and eating good bandwagon yesterday. I did pretty good for being home all day too. Ready to bust out the rest of the week in just as good of a fashion too! Feeling much more energetic about working out this week and eating better too! Best part, scale was my friend this morning!

CIAO! LOVE ME!

{priorities}

Ayden has a late start day at school today, so that has given me an extra hour at home this morning to get caught up on some cleaning and to do a little bit of blogging as well. I ‘slept in’ until 7:30am and then decided I should maybe get out of bed. My body wouldn’t let me sleep any longer so that was okay.

Instead of working out though, I got up and showered and now I am sitting at the computer. Well, I also got the dishwasher going, cleaned the kitchen table, and put a few other things away.

I decided that I am going to take the rest of the week off from working out. I just didn’t have it in my this week to power through the work outs. They were getting kind of old and my body was just not feeling it. I have been feeling pretty drained all week and so I decided to give my body a break and jump back into Week 6 again on Sunday. Next week is a new week and I know that my body will be craving the adrenaline rush that the workouts give me. Plus, next week I will have a little more time to invest into them. This week was kind of hectic.

I have been kind of running on auto pilot lately and it has been affecting my overall mood, my relationship with Jay, and my parenting to Ayden. Of course Ayden’s basic needs are being taken care of, but I haven’t been investing the amount of time with him that I know I should be. I am a good parent, but I am not being a very good one right now. Does that make any sense? It sort of hit me last night and I got really bummed about it. We’ve gotten into such a bad routine at our house and I am sick of it. Instead of putting Ayden first all of the time like I know I should, I have been putting myself first and working out first more than I should be. I know that I require some mommy time as well, but I need to put Ayden time first and I am going to make a conscious effort to do that starting today.

I have decided that I am going to try my hardest to work out when Ayden is not at home or after he goes to bed. The next couple of weeks it will be easier because Ayden will be at school all day and I will only be working in the morning so I will have time in the afternoon to work out. I have also decided that once we move and I start my externship that I am going to try and move my workouts to after Ayden goes to bed. I know that it is not always the smartest thing to work out late at night because then you will be wide awake forever, but it might be the best option for our family. (Well, at least workouts that I want to do outside of the home.)

Because Jay will be leaving for work by 4:00-4:30am every morning, it will be pretty impossible for me to leave to go to the gym in the morning before Ayden wakes up. I mean, not going to leave him at home alone. And since I probably won’t be getting home until 6:00pm everyday, I want to use that time until Ayden goes to bed as family time. Especially since Jay will probably be in bed shortly after Ayden to. Just thinking about it though depresses me because we will probably get two to three hours together as a family a night. I know that that is more than some people, but it is still not a lot. What does make me feel better is that at least for the summer, Ayden will get to spend the day with either his great grandma or his grandma and since Jay will be getting done with work around noon or 1pm, he will get a lot of time with daddy too.

I want to continue working out through the summer… after all, I have a 5K to train for, but I need to make my family come first. I need to work at rebuilding the foundation of our family that has started to crumble with us being apart right now. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing majorly wrong with our family or mine and Jay’s relationship, but it isn’t going to be easy peasy putting us all back into one house again after two months of being apart. Ayden and I can fend for ourselves and it has made me even more independent than I already was. Jay is being weighted on hand and foot by his mom, I’m going to have to retrain him on how to clean, haha!

CIAO! LOVE ME!

{time flies}

*I started this on Monday with every intention of posting it Monday night; however, the week got away from me and here it is already Thursday before I am getting this posted.*

Let me preface this post by saying it will definitely not be whiny and complainy (yes, I am making that a word for today), like my last one. I needed a good vent and I got it out. The rest of my weekend went well, despite the fact that I spent little of it with Jay.

I had a great photo shoot on Sunday and I am in the midst of editing the pictures. They turned out awesome and the sneak peak is getting a lot of positive feedback from friends. I have to admit, I was slightly nervous... it was my first shoot after a few months without having one, but once I got there and got into my groove, it went very smoothly and I think we all had a great time! The goal is to have the rest of the pictures edited by Friday which shouldn't be a problem. After all, I don't have the Praxis to study for anymore, hehe! (In reality, I busted out editing all of the pictures Monday during a break between work and class and then at night so I could get them sent out and not have to worry about it for the rest of the week.)

The month of May is going to be a busy and exciting and LIFE CHANGING one for us around here! Below is a summarized list of everything that is going on during each of the next five weeks. Some weeks have more stuff going on in them than others and I put it just about everything I could think of, even the little things that need to get done. I am really hoping that this week goes a little better than last week and I have every intention of making it so!

Activities during the week of April 29, 2012

Week 6 of single parenthood and Turbo Fire

Mom coming to visit and help pack

Cub Scouts tree planting event

Last week of clinic

Do last assignment of the semester

Finish Mother's Day project

Finish editing photos

Activities during the week of May 6, 2012

Week 7 of single parenthood and Turbo Fire

Capstone presentation

Sister's graduation party

Get keys to new house at the end of the week

Ayden getting teeth pulled

No work

Last week of classes

Ayden field trip at the end of the week

Activities during the week of May 13, 2012

Week 8 of single parenthood and Turbo Fire

Week 1 of Couch to 5K

Mother's Day

Moving most of the stuff at the end of the week

Cub scout meeting

Activities during the week of May 20, 2012

Week 9 of single parenthood and Turbo Fire

Week 2 of Couch to 5K

Possible photo shoot at the end of the week?

Ayden's last day of school at the end of the week

Ashley's last day of work at the end of the week

Activities during the week of May 27, 2012

Week 10 Turbo Fire

No more being a single parent

Week 3 of Couch to 5K

Start externship

Photo shoot at the end of the week

I am determined to make this week a healthier eating week and have started the morning off good. And even though my motivation for working out has gone down slightly in the last few days, I have still pushed through each workout and am proud to say that I have made it through Week 5 with only taking ONE rest day each of the weeks. That is not something I thought I would be able to do. I am still dripping in sweat after a Fire 55EZ workout, but it is getting easier each time and it seems to go faster every time I do it. I know the pattern of the workout a lot better so I can count during the moves and know how many more rounds I have to do before moving on. It helps me keep motivated because I tell myself as we are doing it... only four more times, only three more times, only two more times, last time! It isn't so much of a guessing game anymore. The only thing I am wondering about what kind of schedule I will want to adapt when I start the Couch to 5K program. For that you are running three days of the week for about 35 minutes. At this point I am pretty used to working out for 45 minute or more each day of the week, but I'm thinking running will be enough to get me into a pretty good sweat. I know that I will have to alternate running with Turbo Fire so I won't be working through the weeks of Turbo Fire quite as fast. I plan to start the Couch to 5K program on Monday May 14th, which gets me fully through Week 6 and 7 of Turbo Fire.

I have to say, this week has been back and forth for eating. Despite the fact that I said that this was going to be a good week... Monday was okay, Tuesday was horrible, and yesterday I made a concerted effort to MAKE sure it was a good day. I realized that when I am sitting in front of the TV doing nothing, I eat and eat and eat. Tuesday during the day was really good and then I got home and had a good supper. It was after supper that hurt me. I had a small bowl of chocolate chips, then an ice cream bar, then a bowl of chips, and THEN a big spoonful of nutella. That nutella, I tell you, it has become the bane of my existence, haha! So, yesterday when I got home from class I made sure to keep busy and when I would think about food, I drank water. Then I picked Ayden up from school and we spent the rest of the afternoon, until about 7pm, outside which definitely helped!

I am surprised that I am not counting down the hours to my capstone presentation. At this point I just want it D.O.N.E! I told Jay that that weekend will be a great weekend for me. We will be getting the keys to our new place, it is my sister's graduation party so I will be able to just sit and relax and enjoy seeing my family, and it is Mother's Day and I am excited to give my mom her Mother's Day present. It will be one of those weekends where I won't have to worry about what time we need to leave Chilton at to get home to Point because I don't have anything going on the next week except for work and cleaning and packing. Cannot come fast enough! But it will because tomorrow is already Friday and that means this week is already over.

This week has been mediocre for working out as well. I did my workout Sunday night and then I used Monday as my 'off' day for the week to finish editing pictures. I did half of my workout on Tuesday. By half, I mean that I did the 30 minutes of cardio that I was supposed to do and then skipped the 30 minutes of strength training. I just wasn't in the mood. Then I skipped working out last night in favor of spending time with my little man, but I think that a four mile bike ride counts for a little something. At this point in the program, even though I would like to continue with it as strict as I have been, I am getting a little tired of it and because the weather is warming up, it is harder to stay inside when I could be outside doing stuff. I will probably do my 30 minute cardio that is on for tonight, but not the 30 minutes strength training. Then tomorrow morning since Ayden has a late start, I will probably do my Fire 55EZ workout before I take him to school since my mom will be visiting.

I was scouring the Maurice's website the other night and I found the most awesome dress for my sister's graduation party. Not that I need to be dressed up or anything and the dress isn't super dressy... mostly cute and fun and I like a cute fun dress!

Here are some pictures from our adventure to Jordan Park last night. I can never go to that place without my camera! I love going there with Ayden and just climbing around on the rocks. It was probably one of the last times (if not THE last time) that we will be going there. And for awhile I just sat on the rocks and soaked in all of the beauty of the place. It just made me sad that we will be leaving Stevens Point!CIAO! LOVE ME!