Don't Be Scared

Jackers...I've decided that today is going to be a good day. I am not going to let this GRE get the better of me. I was pretty crabby last night and took a lot of it out on Jay, but being the ever loving boyfriend he is, he was extra nice to me and that lightened my mood. Always a good thing! I had a study session with a friend last night and he told me to stay as long as I wanted and to even go out afterwards if I needed it. Woah, he never says stuff like that! So, I had my study session and it lasted for about two hours. We studied for probably an hour and talked for probably an hour. It was nice to get out of the house.

Before hand, Jay made me a grilled cheese for supper. It was supposed to be potatoes on the grill, but he didn't feel like it. He says that potatoes will be for tonight, but who knows? I don't really care either way. But the grilled cheese was good. And... wait for it, wait for it... he apologized for his behavior last Thursday night when we had it out before I left for my mom's. Okay, so he apologized before I left, but he basically said it then because he didn't want me to leave mad. For him to bring up the issue last night (and yes, I know I haven't ever come on and disclosed this 'issue' in full laymans terms, although from deductive reasonin, I'm sure you readers have some inclination as to what some variables are) was a BIG step! So, he apologized and actually told me that he is semi okay with my impending friend visit Friday afternoon. I doubt there will ever be a time where he is even just okay with it, but he acknowledged the fact that I need to see my friends too. A step forward maybe? I hope so... but you know what they say, one step forward, two steps back. I'm holding my breath.

This week has been kind of nice thus far without Ayden, getting the extra studying done. And Jay has been more romantic. Wanting to lay by me on the couch to watch TV together without any ulterior motives. Just wanting to be with me basically, it's kind of nice. But I'm excited to possibly see Ayden Thursday night. I could go see them at the camp grounds, but I don't want to chance him wanting to come home with us because I have plans for Friday. I'll have to wait and see how things go. Wait, I just realized that I wrote possibly see him Thursday night, well that is tomorrow night... this week is going WAY TO FAST!

I took a math practice quiz earlier today and I did really well. Everyone wish me luck for tomorrow! Even better, the weather is looking to be super nice for this weekend. Sunshine and good temperatures, nothing hot and humid or stormy and rainy. Let's just hope that the weather people keep saying the same thing over the next few days. Please be right, please be right, just this once! I bought a bunch of decorations today for the party. Found a dollar store and got everything for just over $15, and I got a lot. I cannot wait to totally deck out this apartment! I'm so excited!

Now, the title of this post means two different things. Don't be scared about the lackage of background on my blog. I was trying to do something and well it didn't work the way I wanted it to and I didn't feel like trying to fix things last night. And who knows when I will get to making things look all pretty again. I'm a woman of change. Always changing! And it's meant for me, not to be scared about my test in the morning. I just need to keep telling myself that. And with that, until later...

CIAO! LOVE ME!