Dear Subconscious…

...please stop controlling what I dream about! Pretty please!

I've been having some super weird dreams lately and I know that they correspond to what I've been thinking about lately and what I'm worrying about deep down once I go to sleep. One dream I had on Saturday night was rather scary and very eye opening at the same time. I couldn't believe what was happening in the dream and then couldn't believe what I did as a result of it. It really made me think about what I have done in the past regarding decisions I've made. And last night I had another dream regarding the same people, only with a different twist to it. I cannot remember as many details from last nights dream, but I do remember the main theme behind it. I used to have these types of dream pretty often about a year or so ago and then they sort of tapered off with... I know why they tapered off and was sort of glad to see them go.

And now, with some recent developments, I've started having them again... only they are a little different. I wish they would stop because it makes we think about things I've done a pretty good job at pushing out of my life. They don't make me regret anything in life, but I'd rather dream about clinic (okay, maybe not) than dream about what I am dreaming about... is there some magical way to rid my mind of certain thoughts before I go to bed because I know I dream about this situation because it has been weighing on my mind a lot these past few days.  Maybe tonight I will be too worried about doing a full eval tomorrow for clinic that I will dream about that instead.

And besides the fact that I'd rather dream about a vacation on a dessert island than what I am dreaming about... I woke up this morning feeling like I hadn't gotten any sleep at all last night. I know it had something to do with the fact that I went to bed late and tossed an turned all night, but I also felt like I was only half sleeping for most of the night. I woke up at 5:58...two minutes before my alarm went off and then reset it for 7am because I NEEDED that extra hour of sleep and then woke up at 6:59... one minute before my alarm was to go off. I was only slightly frustrated because I know that this week is going to be a good week! I can just feel it and getting to sleep in an hour this morning was really pretty nice!

I'm trying to keep a positive mind frame even though I have this super hard test looming over me this week! I've set plenty of time aside during today and tomorrow and Wednesday during the day to study for it, as well as during the night as well, although it is always harder for me to study once I go home for the day! My motivation equals nil then...

I'm looking forward to this weekend! No particular reason why as we don't have anything planned, other than the fact that I won't have any tests to study for or any major assignments due on Monday! That and the fact that I don't have any class or clinic on Thursday or Friday which means no labs due this Friday either! How great is that?! And then next weekend my sister and I (and probably Ayden) are taking our mom out to Hu Hot for her birthday. She has never been there before and really wants to go since Emily and I are always saying how good it is and well... who could really turn down an opportunity to go to Hu Hot?! NOT ME! Jay has the little kids wrestling tournament going on so he won't be able to join us and his mom is most likely working at it so she won't be able to watch Ayden. I used to work at that tournament quite a lot while still in high school and even a few years after high school. It was always a fun tournament to work in. I remember always wanting to be on the mat that Jay was reffing on (I would keep score) so I could stare at him the whole day. I mean... do my job without being distracted all day, lol! Oh the minds of high school girls, lol!

And alas… for now, I’m off to study for the hour and 15 minutes until my meeting with my supervisor… or so I am going to attempt it for at least half of that time!

CIAO! LOVE ME!