I probably shouldn’t have taken it to heart…

It’s definitely NO secret… my love for photography. I’m forever taking pictures of those around me… namely Ayden, and some scenery. So, the other night when Jay’s mom asked Ayden if I was trying to turn him into a model in front me, I probably shouldn’t have taken it to heart. I know that she was (probably) joking about the fact that I take so many pictures of him, so many where he’s more ‘posed’ and so forth. It really shouldn’t have bothered me, but it really kind of hit a sore spot.

My love for photography has increased exponentially since Ayden was born. I’ve been editing pictures of him since birth, its just that my editing process has gotten a little better with the better software that I have now. I’ve always loved editing, that’s NO secret either.

I love photography, but not the point where I want to start a business with it or anything. I like taking and editing pictures for my own pleasure. And every now and then, I have taken some pictures for my close friends. It’s given me something new in front of the camera and I’ve enjoyed it. But I know that I couldn’t handle the pressure of being in a business and taking photos for people and them expecting them to be good. My friends maybe expect a certain quality from my pictures, but they know and understand that I’m not in the professional realm. I think they just enjoy it because it saves them money and for the most part, I get at least a few useable pictures.

And I know that I’ve taken countless pictures of Ayden recently, but its because… first I love him and adore capturing him on ‘film’, secondly, I don’t have any other kids around to photo (someday he’ll hopefully have a younger brother or sister), and thirdly because I’m in love with my camera and continually curious about what the different settings can do. So, who can blame me for taking gobs and gobs of pictures (‘staged’ or otherwise) of my adorable (of course I’m biased) little guy?!

No, I am not trying to turn my five year old into a model, in fact, if anything by the time he is an adult he will hate the camera as much as his dad does. What I am doing is bribing my five year old to let me take some pictures by letting him take some pictures of me as well. I’m spending time learning new things with my camera at the same time that I am capturing a moment in time of my little guy. And… not only am I learning more, I’m saving boatloads on professional pictures! We haven’t gotten our pictures professional taken in OVER a year and for me that’s a LONG time seeing how much I love photography.

I know I don’t need to defend my actions to anyone. Who am I to care what other people think about me and the fact that I take WAY too many pictures? It shouldn’t bother me… but Jay’s mom’s comment scratched the surface and honestly I do care. I don’t want to continue to post pictures and have people think, there goes Ashley again… ‘showing off’ her pictures because I don’t post them to ‘show off’, I post them to share. I hope my readers enjoy my pictures just as much as I enjoy seeing pictures on the blogs that I read. I haven’t gotten any comments regarding anything of this sort, but I just wanted to get out what I was feeling.

On a different note, I had a relatively good weekend. We went ‘home’ and took my mom out for her birthday. Well, my sister, Ayden, and I did. We did some shopping at Kohls and I didn’t buy a single thing for myself… wowsers! It was a zoo in there though, like they must have been having a super good sale because it was almost as busy as the day after Thanksgiving shopping. Crazy, I know!

After that we lunched at Hu Hot. My mom states that she isn’t ‘hooked’ just yet, but really, how can you NOT be! I stuffed myself so full! My mom had to work in the afternoon, so after lunch we headed home. Ayden and I spent the rest of the day at Jay’s parent’s house. Jay was in town helping out with the youth wrestling tournament and didn’t get home until supper time. Ayden was so well behaved Saturday afternoon, it was great. However, the majority of the afternoon was really just a waste. I couldn’t get anything done because my mom took my computer and personally, I don’t care for the chairs that Jay’s parent’s have to sit on and watch TV… they really aren’t all that comfortable for relaxing and Ayden was taking up most of the couch.

After Jay got home, I retreated to the basement because by this time a headache was brewing in my head and I needed to lay down for a while. I slept like crap both nights while we were ‘home’ which isn’t unusual for me. Actually, I haven’t been sleeping very well at all lately. I’ve been waking up quite a bit during the night and let me tell you, that does not lead to a happy Ashley in the morning, no siree bob! I sleep a lot better without Jay in the bed (I know, sad, right?) But at this point (especially after sleeping like crap again last night in MY OWN BED)… I’m really craving a night to myself all alone in bed!

Yesterday was another kind of loss of a day. Ayden went to the circus with his Auntie Sam and really enjoyed himself. I was productive during that period in which I sat myself down at my mom’s house for an hour and a half and whipped out the answers to my take home test. I need to finish one question up and revise the other three, but for the most part I am done. I think that that was the most productive I have been all semester so far, well at least at one given period of time. And without including the labs that we’ve run already which have gone over two hours. In fact, we came in early this morning to run a lab which took almost two hours. Not fun! Especially since class didn’t start until 10:30am today. Oh well, I suppose.

The sun is shining yet again today (oh how I am in love with constant sunshine in the skin and almost NO clouds)! I hope that this streak continues for at least another few days! Okay, bummer, I just checked the local weather and it looks like today will be the best day of the week, with the possibility of rain Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday… wait and maybe even into Saturday! The warmer temps along with the rain will definitely help get rid of the snow that seems to be sticking around yet, but it will also just increase the muddy conditions that are part of spring. The part of spring that I don’t really like, mind you, lol! So, today, while the temps top out at almost 50… Ayden and I are going to go on our first bike rides of 2010 since the bike path is pretty much clear and I need to get outside in the sunshine and enjoy this afternoon because honestly, I was in a pretty sour mood when I went to bed last night. Actually, I was in a pretty sour mood for the majority of the night after we got back to Point yesterday. Maybe the fresh air and sunshine and a good bike ride with Ayden will kick me out of the funk that I feel myself falling into right now. And I KNOW that it has nothing to do with the fact that my friend is going to visit right around the corner, nope NOT AT ALL (insert sarcasm here) since I know that it probably does.

At least said friend will have visited before our trip to the Dells… which is merely 12 days away! and I’m just over a month away from going to San Diego! Yippe! Oh crap, I just realized that said friend might be taking the trip with me. Not that you care to know when or when not I get visits from my friend, lol! Okay, now I’m in a bit better of a mood, lol! Call me crazy, that’s my name!

Off to my weekly supervisor meeting and then HOME for the day! YEAH!

CIAO! LOVE ME!