Sitting and Thinking

I’m sitting at my computer… writing my third blog post of the day (contemplating whether it will get posted tonight or not)… with the cat in my lap (never happens- I’m trying to make nice so he uses his littler box again)… listening to the TV… and thinking about lots of different things.

I’m thinking about how grad school starts in like three weeks…

I’m thinking about how Ayden complained of ear pain earlier tonight and how I probably need to call the doctor in the morning…

I’m thinking about how I hope his ear stops hurting so we don’t need to make an impromptu trip to the doctor’s office… how it is either an ear infection or swimmer’s ear from all the swimming he has done in the past few days…

I’m thinking about how I’m drifting away from my best friend and how I’m disappointed in some of the recent decisions she’s made in life and how she could really do them in the first place…

I’m thinking about how I don’t really care if my friend and I are drifting and how I’m not doing anything to help the friendship…

I’m thinking about I should care where my friendships go…

I’m thinking about two recent dreams I’ve had… two dreams that included a different friend of whom I haven’t dreamt of in months… two dreams that occurred on subsequent nights… two dreams that have left me wondering about where this particular friendship is going… two dreams that left me wondering if we really dream about our subconscious thoughts… two dreams that have sort of left me with a sour taste in my mouth…

I’m thinking about all of the bills that keep coming and how I hate being an adult for that sole purpose…

I’m thinking about the birthday gift that I might give myself and one that Jay might give himself and whether or not we should really go through with it… I’m thinking about how I would really love it and so he would he, but if it is really what is the best for us at this point…

I’m thinking about the work involved in the upcoming semester…

I’m thinking about how I have a list of things to do before the start of the school year and it feels like I’m doing it all when really Jay should take half of the weight off my shoulders…

My head is just spinning and spinning… and it hasn’t made my mood any better…

Ugh!

CIAO! LOVE ME!