Forever…

…in the palm of my hand! Look how big that

hand is! When will he stop growing?!?!?!

Blogging Lull

I haven’t felt much like blogging lately… and even though I did some last week it feels like I haven’t done any in a LONG time, but I suppose that that might make sense since I haven’t really done any in three days and what I did write on Thursday was quick for me. So… it’s time for me to get some writing done, well maybe a little bit.

Friday was a pretty decent day. My one class went well and after that I met up with a classmate quick to make up a sign-up chart for our professor to take to another class. His students in his other class are going to sign up for hearing screenings for the three future grad students to complete in two weeks. My friend and I thought the sign up sheet was pretty good, in fact perfect actually. She put it in our professors mail box as he was not in his office. We (the three aud undergrads) get an email from him yesterday saying that the sign-up sheet isn’t conducive to easy sign ups and wanted one of us to email it to him so he could change it. I emailed it to him, but frankly… I was rather upset. I didn’t let this be known (except to Jay) as I had no idea how it was not EASY for students to sign up. However, apparently he knows what he is talking about and will fix it for us. Whatever though… just thought my friend and I had done a pretty decent job.

Jay didn’t have to work on Friday like he had though so we were able to leave right after picking Ayden up from school. This was actually kind of nice because we were able to go to Jay’s grandma’s for some potato pancakes for supper. This way we didn’t have to worry about making anything ourselves or Jay’s mom worrying about cooking for us… and Jay’s grandma was really happy that we were able to make it. And… the pancakes were SO YUMMY! It has to be almost three years (or more) since Jay and I have been over there to have any. I know we went one other time, but can’t remember if that was before or after Ayden was born. In any case… it was nice.

After the yummy supper we had, we headed over to my cousin’s house for our Wii-a-thon! It turned out to be so much fun! Or at least I enjoyed it… seemed like everyone else had a good time as well. I must say that my son was rather wild, almost to the point of annoying. Yes, I know, I just called my son annoying. He did have some orange soda before we went so that might have contributed to his rowdiness, but we were also around new people so he always gets kind of weird. After a while he settled down a little bit and wasn’t so bad and had fun playing with my cousin’s kids. It was a fun night all around…

…well, except for the drive from Point. I’m neglecting to mention the argument that Jay and I had that lasted precisely… THE WHOLE HOUR AND A HALF DRIVE! Ugh… it was so stupid too! And then all of a sudden it was like it never happened. I was happy that Ayden slept the whole way. Ugh… whatever… but the rest of the night and weekend went SO much better!

For being someplace other than my own bed Friday night, I slept pretty well, but in my defense, I was pretty zonked by the time I went to bed. It wasn’t necessarily a peaceful sleep, but it was a deep one and I had the first dream that I’ve been able to remember most of in a LONG time! And I had another one Saturday night that I remembered a lot of too. It has been weeks since I’ve woken up and actually remembered more than only a tiny fragment of a dream. And the one Friday night was really weird, lol!

Saturday was my Great Grandma’s surprise birthday party another another cousin’s house. That went well too! They had an Easter egg hunt for the little kids which I thought was totally cool… but we really don’t get together for Easter on that side so that was probably why they had it this weekend. And the weather wasn’t too horrible either. Ayden was pretty clingy for the first half and then he finally opened up and played with some of the other little kids. It was kind of sad that we had to leave when we did because I know that he was just starting to really have lots of fun, however I didn’t want to get home at 10pm or run into bad weather. Luckily we had good weather the whole drive and woke up to maybe an inch or so of snow (which melted by early afternoon). Plus, it was also nice to get home and just have some relaxing time before diving into bed. I was SO tired last night too! Slept really good! I could have slept way later than I did, but glad that Ayden got me up at 8am.

I cannot say that today was very productive, but I did get some stuff done. I did three loads of wash, Jay cleaned the kitchen, I swept the kitchen and dining area, vacuumed the living room and hallway, made the bed, watched a Lifetime movie, spent way too much time on Facebook or checking blogs, went to the park, and then finally got out my hearing science to start studying for the test on Wednesday (which I’m still going to attempt to do more of tonight), and then running to Walmart for some printer ink for clinic things. So… not a complete day of just lounging and laying around.

I wouldn’t have gone to the park, but Ayden came into the bedroom while I was watching my movie and said ‘it is such a beautiful day to go to the park’ and I couldn’t resist. That… and he was such a GREAT boy during my movie with hardly bothering me at all. He is just so content building transformers with his legos these days. So, off to the park it was! I didn’t really enjoy it because it was cold and windy, but Ayden and Jay had lots of fun playing with the sand. We could have stayed probably for another hour, but after one hour I started to shiver and decided it was time to go. Plus… Jay was going to make some sturgeon for supper and he didn’t know how long it was going to take to bake.

The sturgeon turned out great! I haven’t had any in a long time and Ayden ate it like a champ. I was so surprised that he didn’t put up more of a fuss about it. He came to Walmart with me tonight and was SO good as well! We looked at the toy and he didn’t ask ONCE for anything. In face, he even told me that we were just going to look and not buy anything. On our way to the checkout I told him that he could get a piece of candy for being so good and he said he wanted to play a game instead. Unfortunately, I didn’t have any coins to play a game. We happened across the party aisle and saw some Transformer party supplies. Ayden decided right then and there that he was going to have a Transformer birthday party this year. They also had some stickers for cheap so I told him that he could get the stickers instead of candy if he wanted since he was so good. Stickers it was and as soon as we got home he proceeded to put them on a sheet of paper and hang it next to our TV.

It’s been a great weekend… YEAH! And I feel so much better after being able to get some writing done. I know, I’m crazy, you don’t have to tell me twice!

CIAO! LOVE ME!

Blah (not so creative today)

It’s Thursday… tomorrow is Friday… blah. I am excited that tomorrow is Friday! I’m stoked to get together with my sister and cousins, but feeling kind of blah at the moment. Fifteen minutes and Grey’s Anatomy starts and then ER… a night of sitting and vegging is in store (I think). I finished my lesson plan already and emailed it to my supervisor so I don’t have that to worry about. I should read my hearing science stuff, study for that, take notes, read the article for my poster… but if you didn’t notice… I said should… and that means won’t happen. I’m waiting for the virus scan on my computer to finish so I can turn it off. I was researching something for a class and came upon a site and all of a sudden my virus thing popped up and so I immediately ran a scan because you never know with websites these days. It hasn’t found anything bad which is good, but not fully done checking yet. Then it’s time to get Ayden to bed and chill. Had my daily dose of ice cream shake tonight. We are definitely getting use out of our blender since we have bought it, definitely a good thing. Tomorrow morning Ayden and I are going to head to the store to pick up a few things, pack our clothes for the weekend (or maybe we will do that after we get home from school because we will have some time then as well) and head out for the weekend (or just till Saturday, depending on the weather). Still keeping my fingers crossed about that. I know that we are going to get some bad stuff, just hoping its not too much of the bad stuff. Jay has to work tomorrow (finally after a while) to make sure everything is ready for the possible snow that we are supposed to be getting. I just paid rent for this month and checked our bank account balances. They were much better than I thought they would be, which makes me feel good for it already being almost April.

50 DAYS UNTIL GRADUATION! I am not excited what so ever, can’t you tell! I ran into my supervisor and the grad advisor and department chair this afternoon and she told them that I was going to get double certified in both speech and audiology. I told her only in her dreams! She really wants me to to do speech (just like my other supervisor)… it makes me feel really good that they have that much faith in me. I can only hope that I can make my audiology supervisors that proud of me and the school for accepting me into their program. My grad student mentor has a son and he said it is definitely not easy, but it is possible to make it through. I’m keeping my hopes up that all goes well in the fall when I start.

Off to watch Grey’s…

CIAO! LOVE ME!

Bitter Sweet

It’s been a week of ups and downs for me, as I’m sure for so many others. I’ve been having a relatively decent week, but I cannot help feel for MckMama and her family at this time. If you haven’t heard… her youngest, Stellan, has been admitted to the PICU at Children’s Hospital for SVT. You should be able to click on the picture and get to her blog and updates of Stellan’s condition. MckMama is one of the bravest people I know (and I don’t even know her) and I can’t/won’t even pretend like I know what she and her family and presently going through. Please keep them and Stellan in your thoughts and prayers!

Tomorrow is Thursday already… where does the time go? Like I said, for the most part I’ve been having a relatively good week. My therapy session went well on Monday and it totally rocked today! My client did great and I was so stoked throughout the whole thing because he was saying great ‘L’ words and ‘SH’ words! I couldn’t have been more elated! As well, one of the activities that he said that he really didn’t want to do, went over great! I was all prepared for us to only get half way through it before he gave up, but we did the whole activity! I was super excited! Most of my sessions this semester really have gone well, but today I could really pick up some progress. I think part of me is still flying high from it! And we didn’t even get to two of my activities so they can carry over until next week!

My audiology clinic also went really well yesterday! I got almost two hours of observing time in and got to see my mentor (grad student) do some ear molds. I had them done on me about a year ago, but it’s hard to watch what they are doing when you are the patient. It was really cool to be able to watch. And I got to give the pure tone air conduction test as well! It went pretty good too! I was a little apprehensive because there were two extra observers, but it went well!

So, there is this website that Jay checks pretty frequently that does predicted snow fall for the state. The guy who runs it is/was a meteorologist and is usually pretty accurate with his predictions. However, I am having a hard time believing what he is predicting for this coming weekend. He is saying that by Sunday morning we will have 8+ inches of snow! 8+ inches!!! NO WAY! You’d think that if we were going to get a snow storm THAT BIG that the weather people on TV would be predicting something like that as well. Right now the weather people are saying a mix of snow and rain for late Saturday into Sunday and that some people could wake up to a white ground on Sunday, but nothing even close to 8 inches. I hope this JohnDee guy is completely wrong because we do not need that much snow. And to make matters worse, he is predicting 6-12+ for next week! Are you serious! Keeping my fingers crossed that we will get none of that!

I am really looking forward to Friday! Specifically Friday night! I am meeting up with my sister and two cousins and their families for some Wii fun! My sister and I will be in the area because of our Great Grandma’s birthday party on Saturday and I thought it might be fun for all of us to get together and have some fun. I mean no one else could help decipher the weird code I got from Kelly Ripa stating ‘Ducks crawl tractor greens with sand shovels in stinky smelly golf bushes!’ I’m thinking it means something like ‘No one is cooler than me because I’m Ashley fricken you know my last name!’ Their help is definitely needed, lol! Plus we haven’t all gotten together in a while! And because I am looking forward to Friday so much… we need good driving weather!

Ayden told me he wants to eat at Mickey D’s tonight. I told him a while ago that we could go to a restaurant for supper sometime soon, but didn’t think that he would remember I said that. Wait, this kid remembers almost EVERYTHING now (including things he shouldn’t, like bad words that Jay says). So it’s off to Mickey D’s for supper. We haven’t been there in a while so I’m okay with that. It definitely not my favorite place to eat, but at least we don’t have to cook anything. Speaking of my son remembering everything… this past weekend he had quite the potty mouth. I attribute that to Jay because when he gets upset about something he says the first thing that comes to mind and that is usually something that he shouldn’t be saying. I’ve been reminding him more and more lately that we (he) needs to watch his mouth and I think Ayden repeating him this weekend has finally gotten that to sink in. It’s a joint effort. We’ve also talked to Ayden about why we cannot say those things and that mommy and daddy should not be saying them either and that we are working hard to be good too. The last thing I need is to get a call from daycare telling me that Ayden said something he shouldn’t.

Off to write my reflection for today’s therapy session!

CIAO! LOVE ME!

Totally Me Monday… Wait NOT Me Monday!

You know, all of my faithful readers, after you have enjoyed another awesome post (because I know they are always so awesome… heck, I’m such an awesome person *my blog, remember…lol*) you should head on over to MckMama’s for her round of Not Me Monday! She is the wonderful inspiration behind it, and after you’ve checked out her blog… check out Mr. Linky at the bottom and you can enjoy more awesome posts from so many others! Seriously… I think everyone should chime in with Not Me Monday because it’s great. And I often forget that people don’t actually know about it and almost say some things that would definitely get weird looks. But that’s okay… lol!

And for the wonderful stuff that I did not, could not, would not even consider doing this past week… well…

First of all… I am not writing my Not Me’s (for Monday) on a Sunday night because I have all the time in the world on Monday mornings to get lots of Not Me’s written. I do not tend to write my Not Me’s every Sunday night because it is not easier than doing it Monday morning.

I set out to accomplish tons and tons during my Spring Break and I most certainly did! I did not put off my lesson plan writing until Thursday afternoon (when it was due Friday) and use old ideas that we’ve done already. I did not tell my supervisor before Spring Break that I was going to try and come up with new ideas over break. I came up with way more than one new activity and am not worried that it might totally bomb.

Speaking of therapy (in case you didn’t catch that with my lesson play writing all week)… I am not dreading it Monday. I did not enjoy wearing jeans and t-shirts all week long and am so looking forward to dressing up three days a week again. I did not count how many therapy sessions that I likely have left… it is not 10 (or more likely 9, as one of them will most likely be a parent conference) and I am not stoked that that means only 8 more lesson plans and 9 reflections!

I was not looking forward to going to Wild Air with my guys and sisters on Saturday and disappointment did not flood through me when my youngest sister got the flu. I definitely enjoyed the look of disappointment on my son’s face when I told him we were no longer going. I was excited to sit around the house all day Saturday so I did not immediately suggest going to a water park instead. We did not hit up said water park and have a great time! Jay and I have not discussed skipping the monster truck show next year (along with Chuck E Cheese) and just get a room at said hotel/water park because it certainly doesn’t have games that are much more fun than Chuck E Cheese (at least the one in Green Bay) and we could do both water park and game room for probably the same price and it is so not an hour and a half closer!

We did not get Mario Kart this week for Wii and I am not addicted to it! I did not start off sucking completely and coming in last place over and over. After many many races I am not a champ now and definitely did not kick Jay’s butt in at least three races. After each race I did not shove it in his face because I am not competitive like that with my honey! I did not stop racing after those three races because I was scared he would win and then rub it in. He never does that!

We did not venture outside many times this week because the weather was not beautiful (at least for the first part of the week). We did not have our first trip of many to come to the big blue park and have lots of fun!

We did not get our bikes out today for the hopefully hear Spring season. It is too early to get bikes out and have fun. Ayden and I did not play cops and speeders while on our bikes. He was not the cop and I was not the speeder. I did not get many many tickets! It was not SO much fun! The fresh air did not tucker the little guy out and he did not fall asleep watching Transformers at 7pm. That would never happen because we don’t want Transformers at least 4 times a week. He does not have the last line in Transformers memorized. Even if he did, I would not tape it to put on my blog. You will not find it below. It does not look like Ayden is reading it from a book because we don’t have a Transformers book and he does not think that the last page actually says that. You will not enjoy the little video either…

I have not been looking avidly at online websites of apartments because I do not want to move. Why would we move… we have a great place right now? My reason for moving does not involve me wanting to get a dog. I do not want to live in a duplex or house and have a yard all to ourselves. I love apartment living… or not! I am not hoping the right duplex comes around because we can certainly afford a house, or more so actually want one. Not really though… we are not at that stage in our lives.

There are not 54 days until I graduate and Jay and I have not been together for 2007 days! I did not have a great Spring Break and weekend! I am not happy!!!

What did you NOT do this past week?

CIAO! LOVE ME!

Picture Post

Ayden was building up a storm today with his legos… I looked away for just a few minutes and when I looked back this is everything that he had built. I know mothers have all sorts of aspirations for their children’s future careers… right now I think Ayden would make a good architect or contractor/construction worker. He is forever making new things! 

And when I got done taking a picture of his ‘creations’ he wanted me to take a picture of him and thus began our little photo shoot and his attempts at getting away from me so I couldn’t get any good pictures. Mommy is faster with the camera than you would think! Such a cute smile!

 

 

 

 

Here you can see that he is about ready to roll over and hide from me. Okay, maybe you can’t, but I can because I know what he did after I took the picture. Love the little cocked head of his. That smile never falters to make me smile as well!

 

 

 

 

 

And he’s over and laughing is head off that I didn’t get a good picture of him. Or did I? Little did he know that all I had to do was crouch down a little lower and sneak one from below the futon. Such a silly look goose!

 

Action shot!

 

 

 

 

 

 

He’s going… going… and almost gone! Trying to cover his face so I can’t get a good picture of him!

 

 

 

 

Another shot of almost going over!!!

 

 

 

 

 

Can’t get a picture of me! I’m hiding!

 

 

CIAO! LOVE ME!

Bummer Dude!

Wouldn’t you know that after having everything planned out and ready to have an awesome good day with my guys and my sisters that something would go wrong?! It just seems like that would happen to me with everything else that I have been going through, but don’t fret my friends (I can call you my friends, right? Even though I don’t know everyone that happens upon my blog, I somehow feel kind of connected)… anyways, don’t fret because the day was salvaged.

What happened/went wrong? Well, my sister (older one… for those of you who don’t know me IRL: in real life or haven’t read more of my blog, I have a 19 year old sister named Emily and 4 1/2 year old half sister named Alexis) called me this morning letting me know that Alexis has the flu and wouldn’t be joining us on our excursion to Wild Air. I was totally bummed to find out, but luckily it was before we had left Point. I talked to my sister and we decided that it wouldn’t be worth the drive home in Alexis wouldn’t be joining us and that we would plan to do it another time.

Here comes the hard part, breaking it to Ayden that we were not going to Monkey Joe’s. Actually, we weren’t going to Monkey Joe’s in the first place, but instead of trying to explain that we were going to someplace like Monkey Joe’s, I just told him we were going there. I could see the disappointment in his face when I told him that Alexis was sick and that we were no longer going. It crushed me and we actually did consider going anyways without Alexis, but the drive is long. So what does awesome mommy do? She decides we are not sitting in the house bumming around all day long, but we are going to the water park that I wanted to earlier in the week. The drive is about half as long as it would be to Wild Air (even if it cost us a little more).

At first Ayden didn’t want to go to the water park, but I wasn’t about to sit in the house for another day. I was getting restless and was already looking forward to getting out for the day to go to Wild Air. Jay was okay with going as well and so right after lunch (we had an early one), we headed out to the water park. It was so much fun! And even though Ayden was a little hesitant at first he was all smiles the whole time we were there! It was great to get out of the house for a while and just have some fun! Ayden was a little too short to go down the big water slides, but there were some smaller ones that he got to go down and that was fun! I so thought about taking some pictures, but didn’t want to chance getting my camera wet and plus there were signs saying no cameras or cell phones (well on the door to the changing rooms, don’t know if it was for the whole water park or not, but didn’t see anyone else with any and thus left mine in my coat). We spent about two and a half hours there and then we all started to get cold and decided to call it a day. We got home around 3:30 and have been chillin’ for the rest of the afternoon. We were all pretty pooped from the water park.

I am sitting in the rocking chair right now listening to TSO (Trans Siberian Orchestra) on my ipod and just relaxing. I’m hoping to get some decent sleep tonight. Last night I couldn’t fall asleep until after midnight. Hoping tonight is better! Ayden is sleeping on our fold out couch tonight. It is his special treat for being such a good boy today, that… and he didn’t get to last night when he asked because it was already late when he went to bed.

Tomorrow I am hoping to get outside for a little while to play… maybe get some rollerblading in and get Ayden’s bike out. I know that he would like that… might hit up the park. I think that we are supposed to get some rain tomorrow, but I am hoping it holds off until later at night. Haven’t looked at the weather in a few days. And Jay really needs to clean out his truck, lol. I need to vacuum my car, but at least I took all of the garbage out of it last weekend. Mostly it was fruit snack wrappers from Ayden. Kids, I tell ya, lol!

I got to talk to my friend Mike again last night… it was great! We talked (IM’d) for about two hours! It was seriously awesome! Needs to happen more often! We were able to catch up on so much. He is one of about three friends that I met over the internet that I still keep in touch with. The other is Kristy, who I mentioned a few days ago, and then there is a girl from Australia that I catch up with every now and then, and ironically enough, I met her through one of her friends. Craziness, but awesomeness!

CIAO! LOVE ME!

Goodbye My Friend

*If you’ve been reading any of my more recent posts, you will know that I’ve been having some friend difficulties. Last night was the culmination of the last two weeks and I think I’ve come to what was best. My friend and I have decided that it would probably be best if we ‘backed down the intensity’ of our friendship for the sake of the other’s life/current situation. It would be best. What my friend does not know is that I’m saying goodbye. I can no longer do this… it is probably one of the hardest things I’ve had to do in a long time, but it’s for the best. Below is what I’d say if I cared enough to say it. Read on if you’d like… or not. Your choice and my blog…

**********************************************************************

Dearest Friend,

I looked up forever and always in the dictionary, here is what I found. Forever: without ever ending; eternally: to last forever. Always: every time; on every occasion; without exception. Those are the precise words you used when you promised to be my friend. I know that promises are broken and life goes on, but with you I thought it was different.

I am serious when I say I want nothing more to rewind the last four years so I can never get in touch with you again because then it wouldn’t hurt so much. I want to erase all of the memories, the good times, everything… because then I wouldn’t dwell on them so much.

But you just don’t get it… do you? I fought for you. I fought for our friendship. I told everyone that you had changed… you were not the person that I first was introduced to. When we started talking again things were different and I thought you’d grown so much in the last four years. But the sad thing is, you haven’t, that is clear to me now. When it comes to your own agenda, you don’t care about those around you. You do what you want no matter what. The people around me were right, you are no different. I tried and tried to believe that you were, but I can’t anymore.

It’s ironic how we were just having a discussion about renewing our friendship with no restrictions. It’s how you wanted it to be and then you decide that it’d be best if we ‘backed down the intensity’ so someone else would be happy. Talk about turning the whole situation around so it suits your needs. But I can’t do that. I’m sorry… but this is goodbye. If you still want to be friends, its you that will have to put effort into it. I will not be putting any effort into it.

Oh how I want to, how I want things to be ‘normal’ again, but it hurts too much. The lies hurt. I never imagined that things could change so drastically in only two weeks, but I should have known that with you of course it can and will. I trusted you, I opened myself up to you, I was vulnerable. It took a lot for me to do that… I will never do that again, not with you…

Today marks the day where I say goodbye to what once was and will never be again. Today marks the day where I build up that wall again and move on with my life.

…Goodbye my friend.

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On a lighter note… we got snow last night. Probably an inch. Wait, I said lighter note didn’t it (and who really thinks snow in Spring is a lighter note?), but wait for it, wait for it… it is supposed to get up to 50 degrees today. Do you know what that means?! The snow WILL melt! And we are headed off to Wild Air with my sisters today! So excited! I will be sure to take lots of pictures and post some up when we get back.

I hope everyone has a stellar weekend!

CIAO! LOVE ME!

Wild Air!

It’s Friday… the end of the week and the end of my Spring Break. No Spring Break… come back to me! Can we rewind this past week and replay it? Okay, so maybe that wouldn’t be the best idea because really I don’t want to relive it. The more time that passes the easier it gets for me to move on with my current friend issues. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, in this case it makes the heart grow harder. Oh I know that isn’t good or probably the right thing, but whatever. Today and this weekend are going to be good and lets not dwell on the icky part of my life right now. Lets talk about all of the fun that we are going to have at Wild Air tomorrow! Below are some pictures from our fun time at Monkey Joe’s last Spring. I recently found out that parents aren’t allowed to play with their kids there anymore? I don’t know for sure as it still says that they can on their website, but also we haven’t been there for over a year so it could possible be the case. Anyways, it won’t matter because we aren’t going there anyways. I’m so excited to go with both Ayden and Alexis! It will be lots of fun!

Also, I found out that my dad is going to buy my old camera. Bought time I finally got rid of it. I would have liked to get a little more for it than I am charging my dad, but who am I to over charge my own dad. I know he’d probably give me whatever I was asking if it wasn’t TOO much (he is my dad after all) but I just can’t do that. And if they (my dad and Wendy) like it then that is awesome. Better than just sitting in our house being unused. I am still so in love with my new camera too! I am a picture taker person to the max! I hope that when I do have more kids that I can be as avid with my picture taking as I am now because I have hundreds and hundreds pictures of Ayden and want that many for my future kids. I love digital camera!!! Actually I loved camera way before digital ones so that’s good, right? I don’t know what I am talking about.

I don’t know if we are staying at ‘home’ when we got tomorrow. Part of me does so it makes the weekend go fast and we aren’t sitting at our place all day Sunday being ‘bored’ but we don’t really have anything going on so then it most likely be us sitting at Jay’s parent’s house all day Sunday being bored. Well, more so me being bored and not being able to get anything done. I doubt that I will get anything done even if we didn’t stay, but at least while we are in Point at our house I can relax and be lazy without feeling like I should be doing something. As if that makes any sense.

I am definitely in a babbling mood right now… it feels good to just type and type and type. Does anyone else ever get that good feeling when they just get their words out? Even if what they are saying doesn’t make any sense? This blog has brought me so much peace and relaxation over the past year. I can’t believe that I’ve been keeping one for almost a year now… it just feels so good every time I sit down and talk about my day. Oh how I missed journaling. I just need to find some place where I can get my blog made into a book. I’ve found a site here or there, but it is super expensive and/or when I try and do it, it doesn’t turn out very well (the layout that is). Any suggestions?

CIAO for now! LOVE ME!

Too Routine

I feel like I am in a routine that I cannot get out of and it's kind of depressing. Not that I'm against routines or anything... actually I am a firm believer in them, especially for families with kids. Kids need routines, although not overly structured. I'm sure the parents out there, or even the people who have worked with kids, that are reading this know exactly what I am talking about. I don't thrive on routine, but like a little bit in my daily life. However, lately it seems like things have just gotten too same thing after same thing. The past eight weeks have flown by (yes we are eight weeks into the semester already and that means less than... LESS THAN... 60 days until graduation) and I really have no idea where they have gone. We will go back to school next week and the next eight weeks are going to fly by as well. Actually... there will be the last week in March and then April and we are pretty much done. The first week in May is our last week of classes and typically nothing gets accomplished then... and then it's finals week and GRADUATION! I think what I'm dreading most is the summer.

Wait, dreading summer?! Definitely not the weather, definitely not the no class aspect, but there are a lot of uncertainties right now and I don't do good with that. Never have... Jay and I are trying to determine what we want to do as far as child care goes during the summer. Normally I don't work a whole lot in the summer, however I was approached last week sometime asking if I would like to work more. I haven't heard anything from these individuals further, but that is an unknown. Of course I would work more if I was needed. My hours are pretty much based on how much I am needed. About 12 hours a week is usually good. I would definitely work more if they needed me, but in the past they haven't. Daycare is extremely expensive and what I would make during those 12 hours just about covers what it would cost to send Ayden to daycare those four days. Actually, it doesn't even cover it. We'd be better off if I just stayed home (assuming we'd get no assistance from the county) with Ayden. I'd do that, however I know they need me at work for a little while each week. We still receive some assistance from the county and in the summer it would probably be about $50/week which then would mean I'd be making a little bit of profit. Jay and I have bounced the idea off of each other that we find a babysitter for Ayden. This would still cost us money (and we would be receiving no help from the county), but it would cost us substantially less. As well, there is a 4K program that we can enroll Ayden in for month during the summer for $5 which would save us about $400 in daycare costs. However, it is in the middle of the summer and I can't just pull Ayden out of daycare for a month and then put him back in. And then there are the possible three weeks that the grandparents would take him... being Jay's parents, my mom, and then my dad. Not that they wouldn't love to anyways, but I am going to push them this summer because it would in turn save us probably another $200 in daycare costs. You see... the savings start to add up. Then in the long run we would probably only need the babysitter for a month in the summer. It's still something I am thinking about and trying to determine what the right path would be. I have a great friend who I would ask, however she is expecting her second child in the beginning of May and I don't want to throw another kid at her during the summer. So I'm still trying to work things out...

I think I feel so routineish lately because I've been kind of bored. I've been on and off my computer all day long and reading and watching TV. I think I need to get outside and be a little more active and get the blood flowing. Also, I need to work on my school presentations as well. Those will be due before I know it! I need to make a poster presentation on a journal article that I haven't even completely read yet. And if you know anything about journal articles they are all big words and studies and stuff that I don't particularly care about. However mine has something to do with cochlear implants (the area that I wish to specialize in someday) so it shouldn't be that uninteresting, just hard to read, lol... as if that makes any sense what so ever!

My mood isn't improved any by the fact that I am still going through a difficult time with one of my dearest friends. I want everything to go back to normal... the way it was before the big bombshell dropped, but I don't know if that is possible. I wrote him a letter explaining about I feel (that was easier for me than us talking on the phone because when we did try that I kept bursting into tears) and asked how he felt about the whole situation. We are both in a difficult position, however I would give anything just to feel like we were friends again. To have that normalcy back where neither of us has to watch what we say to the other or worry how they are going to feel about it. Our entire friendship was built on being open and honest, up front and tell it like it is (not always the best, but it is what worked for us, given the complicated nature of our past) and I want that back. I want the ease of the conversation... I want a lot of things that just might no longer be possible, but I'm hoping so... only time will tell, right? Maybe this was just another chapter in each of our lives and we are meant to part ways at this point. Oh how I wish I knew... I'm trying to stay positive and upbeat about it, but the fact that I have the whole week off doesn't help the brain functioning on and around that topic.

What I would really like to do is get out and do some rollerblading! I remember how my cousin and I used to go a lot around our old high school track. It would be normal for us to go and get out like 6 miles done in no time just chatting along... it was great! Part of me wishes I had someone close like that here in Point that I could go out and do things with. Oh, I have my ComD girlies, but we haven't been as close this year. Who has time though, right? We had each other last year when we really needed it, and it's not like we aren't still close, but we hardly ever get time for just us five to meet up and talk and/or study. We definitely need to schedule something before we graduate and all part. I found out that two of my friends only got on the waiting list for grad school and I haven’t heard about the other two. One I don’t think really cares because she is pretty sure she is going to one out of state and the other one I think would have, but then again I thought all of them would have gotten in for sure.

LATER

I made use of my time today… I feel like I accomplished quite a lot as well! I finished my book and am sort of sad because of the way it ended there is most likely going to be another one and now I have to wait for another year probably because this one just came out. However… the book itself was pretty good. There were even a few parts where I almost started crying even though it wasn’t really all that sad. Just really kind of sweet. Or maybe I am just in an ultra sappy mood lately. Lol!

After that I decided that I wanted to go through some of Ayden’s toys and get rid of a few things. Actually, I only ended up getting rid of one big thing that was taking up a lot of room and reorganized a bunch of other stuff. I am an organization queen! Lol! Anyways, I moved the end table in our living room to a different spot and I think it totally opened up our living room and gave it some more space. It looks so much bigger now! I am lovin’ it and so is Jay! Ayden was actually pretty mad when he got home and saw that it was moved. He got tears in his eyes and everything! It was cute! Well, you know… little kid cute!

We totally hit up the big blue park this afternoon! It was a little bit colder and windier than yesterday, but it was still just as fun! It wasn’t all that crowded either! We had fun running around, going down slides, and of course mommy takings lots of pictures. Ayden’s nose is still pretty runny and both Jay and I are still thinking it is allergy related, but who am I to say, it could very well be a cold. All in all it doesn’t seem to be affecting him that much.

When we got home Ayden and I worked on some worksheets and cleaned up his room a little bit. He needed two more stickers to reach a full sheet so he could get his newest transformer. I told him that if he worked good with mom on his worksheets and helped me clean his room that he could get both stickers tonight. Of course he still knows that he has to clean up the living room tonight as well. It’s been going really good and he’s been such a great little guy lately!

I even took my organization skills to the kitchen closet and organized all of Ayden’s art stuff… for probably the billionth time. I didn’t realize that he had so many coloring books! It’s nutzo! But that is okay, we will just have lots of art time this summer!

Ooohh and to make my day even better… I got to talk (well IM) an old friend for about an hour today! You see, back when I was a freshman in high school I was big on the whole yahoo messenger and internet friends thing and made this friend named Mike from Vermont. After a while he introduced me to his girlfriend, Kristy. During the summer of my sophomore year I saved all of my babysitting money and bought a plane ticket to Vermont to go and visit them. Only Kristy new that I was coming and we were going to surprise Mike. You should have seen the look on his face when he realized it was me standing in front of him! It was crazy awesome! We had a great time together! And to this day I still keep in touch with both Kristy and Mike. Actually, Kristy and I keep in better touch, but in any case, it’s been a long time. Mike and I still talk probably once every six months or so, which kind of sucks, but we have one of those super close friend bonds. It’s just great. Anyways, it was awesome to get to talk to him today because we often not online at the same time. Him and his wife are expecting their first child in about two months and are both elated! I am so excited for them as well! It made my day to be able to talk to him!

And it’s been decided that we (me, Jay, and Ayden) and my sisters (Emily and Alexis) are going to hit up a place similar to Monkey Joe’s on Saturday. If you haven’t heard of it, Monkey Joe’s is a play place full of inflatable jumpy things for families to play on. It’s lots of fun… however I found a new place that I would like to check out that seems pretty comparable except that parents get to play for free. It was Emily’s idea and since we didn’t have any other plans for the weekend we thought it would be fun. Especially since we aren’t hitting up any water parks like I had wanted this week. Oh well… this way Ayden and Alexis will get see each other and they haven’t since probably Christmas time. Wasn’t I just saying how fast the weeks were going?

Okay, if you are still with me… have a GREAT day!

CIAO! LOVE ME!

Lazy Days

It’s been a bunch of lazy days around here lately. The gorgeous weather had definitely pushed us outside quite a bit and either the pollen is picking up outside because of the warm weather or Ayden is getting sick because he has a bit of a runny nose and we know from the past years that come spring and nice weather Ayden gets pretty stuffed up. He hasn’t gotten all puffy yet on us and I hope to avoid that… and if I remember correctly, I’m pretty sure they can’t do allergy testing until age five or older. It could be even older than that, I don’t remember correctly.

I’ve been doing a lot of reading lately, trying to get at least two books done during break. I’ve been putting off anything and everything school related as well. I only have to work a little bit this week which is great. Actually since my boss is off I could probably have told her I wanted the week off and she wouldn’t have cared, but I’m not like that.

I did manage to get my financial aid stuff filled out this morning and Jay did as well so we don’t have to worry about that anymore. My mom was pretty much on my case about that and figured since I didn’t have anything better to do that we should get it done. Awesomeness… don’t have to worry about it! Well besides waiting to see what we are going to get for aid, lol!

Other than the great weather, this week has been rather uneventful which is good. I found out today that my bestest friend bought herself a new vehicle… a jeep liberty and I am so completely jealous of her! I won’t even deny it because that is SO the next vehicle that I wanted to buy! I’m excited for her though!!! It has to be super exciting and besides, I won’t be able to get a new car for at least the next couple of years. Maybe by then I will have a new obsession, lol!

My outdoor child refused to go to the park this afternoon. Jay and I picked him up from daycare and I was all ready to go to the park (since Ayden declined going yesterday as well) and he practically screamed that he didn’t want to go. I was more than just a little disappointed because I was looking forward to it. But I suppose that it’s okay. There will be other days…

A new NCIS is on tonight and I am so NOT missing it!

CIAO! LOVE ME!

My Little Dude

An impromptu photo session at our house yielded these following adorable pictures of my sweet sunshine! I’m a picture addict, I know… and my son suffers because of that. He’s ALWAYS in front of the camera! Oh but he’ll love me for it today!

Not Me Monday Style!!!

I’ve come to look forward to Monday’s with a fervor ever since I happened upon MckMama’s blog and her blog carnival… Not Me Monday! It’s definitely worth checking out… click…HERE!

You didn’t really think we could have a Monday and forgo everything that I so did not do this past week, did you? Of course you did, right? Why would I want to divulge all sorts of fun things that I didn’t most certainly didn’t do? Oh you know… because it’s fun!

I did not decide to go through Ayden’s clothes this past week because I noticed that one pair of his pants had become too small. After weeding out the ‘too small clothes given mommy standards, which probably could have fit for the rest of the winter weather’ my little dude was not left with approximately six pair of pants. I did not consider running out and buying him some more before realizing that soon enough it will be shorts weather… so I did not go buy him five pair of shorts for this summer because Kohls was not having a sale. My son will not go through the summer with about ten pair of shorts (if he’s lucky) because he’s not under spoiled like that in the clothes department.

Seriously though… Ayden really doesn’t have a ton of clothes and I’m totally okay with that… however, on the other hand… I do!

Speaking of clothes, I did not go to Target tonight and purchase a new swim suit because I thought I needed one. I have not gotten a new swim suit the last three years. Said swim suit was not purchased for under $30… I didn’t think that was a good deal. Oh heck yes I did because I was not considering buying a super cute one from Victoria’s Secret for $100! I would never consider that!

And because I do not feel so good in my new swimsuit, I do not want to hit up a water park sometime this week to have some fun! I am not excited for this summer and going to the pool lots and lots with Ayden!

While at Target I did not happen upon the next book in a series I read over winter break. I did not have to have it even though I do not have tons of books at home I could read instead. As well… we did not purchase some solar lights for out by our porch or a new pair of sandals for Ayden this summer.

I did not have a super good talk with my lover boy Saturday night and feel great about it afterwards. I did not realize just how much he loves me and how much I love him. I have not decided to really work on our relationship and make it better. I mean everything relationship is perfect, right? No one ever needs to work on it. We never hit hard patches…

I was not nominated for ‘outstanding senior’ by my speech supervisor from last semester. I did not squeal with delight when we emailed me and told me. I do not feel so undeserving of everything that has come my way this semester.

I did not enjoy a weekend with Jay without Ayden. We never need some alone time. We did not sleep in Saturday and Sunday and chill out. The weather was not gorgeous on Saturday so we didn’t grill out for the first time this semester and have some wonderfully yummy hamburgers!

And because the weather was not super great on Sunday either, we did not go outside with Ayden and have fun!

  While we were outside, we did not make slushies with the snow and water… and because it was almost 60 degrees outside, I did not let Ayden go outside without a hat on.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jay did not join us and stand guard like a good daddy would… or maybe it wasn’t me who was sitting on the snow hill looking up and taking a good picture of him. I did not start a snow fight that ended up with me losing because Jay does not always have to win at things like that!

 

 

 

 

There is not a HUGE puddle of water in our driveway… and there is no way that I would allow Ayden to walk to the middle of it getting soaked through all of his clothes… or would I?

This is definitely not a picture of Ayden stomping through the huge puddle of water! His jacket is not soaked… his snow pants are not soaked… never! Jay did not squeeze probably a gallon of water from all of that clothing when we finally did decide to go in the house. Playing outside in great weather like this is never fun, so we never do it!

 

 

 

 

What did you NOT DO this past week?!

CIAO! LOVE ME!

Sleeping In!

I’ve been a slacker lately, but it’s hard to write when you are not really in the mood as I’m sure many others can relate…

The rest of my week (at school) went pretty well. I had considered skipping one or both of my classes on Thursday and Friday, however I think I explained why I couldn’t/shouldn’t. As it turns out, I could have skipped both of them. We did not get to our discussion articles on Thursday in my sociology class (however knowing that, if I would have skipped, we most certainly would have gotten to them, you know how that goes) and on Friday we did not have a quiz in my Hearing Science class. I’m thinking either way we wouldn’t have had a quiz in there, but I needed to go to work after that class so there really wouldn’t have been any point in skipping it. Didn’t care for it though, boring!

I started a book on Thursday morning! Oh how joyous that has been! I really need to remember how much they soothe my mind! I delved into it like none other (and seriously, who could pass up a good Nicholas Sparks book?) and I am a little over half way through it. It is nice to have something that will take my mind off of the thoughts running through my head)

*Sidenote: I am typing like crap this morning and it is really starting to annoy me. Not that you notice because of something called the backspace button, but seriously, usually I am not this bad!

Anyways… Ayden was picked up last night around 5ish and was so excited to leave with Auntie Sam and Uncle Matt and I think they were equally excited to get him. I know that they will have a great weekend! I hope that lots of pictures get taken! I admit, I am still just a little jealous that Ayden gets to go and have fun at a water park all weekend, but I will definitely survive, lol!

Jay and I took advantage of our first night alone and finally hit up this restaurant that we have been wanting to try ever since we’ve moved to Point. Actually, he ate there probably a year or so ago with his uncle and said it was good and really wanted to take me. But it really wasn’t someplace that we wanted to take Ayden (first because it is a little more expensive and secondly because it takes a little longer to get your food) and it was pretty good. I don’t think it was anything to rave about like Hu Hot, but worth our money and now we can say that we were finally able to get there.

After our supper we came home and cuddled on the couch together and watched an episode of NCIS and then I read for a while and he went on the computer and we went to bed a little while later and then slept in this morning! Although, I think I would call getting up at 8am or later all week long sleeping in too. It’s been a good week as far as sleep goes I guess, lol!

I think the plan for today is to pretty much just chill. We might run to Best Buy for a new Wii remote because one of ours isn’t working like it should be. We are thinking wear and tear thanks to Ayden. No problem though, although I don’t really want to have to get a new one already, it is not as if they are $50 a piece. I will probably also finish my book. It is just getting to the good part too!

Oh yeah, Jay and I also took our music (online class) midterms yesterday after Ayden left. It was nice to get those out of the way, even though he pushed the due date back a week. Now we don’t have to worry about them at all during break. The one thing that I would like to get done is financial aid. Got to love filling out all of that good stuff. A couple more years and I won’t have to worry about that anymore, just paying everything back, lol! Great, right?!

It will be a good weekend…I’m hoping so!

CIAO! LOVE ME!

Going Away

I just got an email from Jay’s aunt asking if she could steal Ayden for the weekend. Well, she didn’t so much use the word steal, but asked if he would like to accompany her and her husband on a weekend away to the Dells. Of course she invited Jay and myself along (as they are meeting up with some other family), but secretly I think she only wants the kid. Lol, I know they’d welcome Jay and myself with open arms, but can Jay and I really give up a weekend alone?!

Part of me wishes to join them as we were talking about a trip to the Dells over break ourselves (here would be that opportunity) and part me wants to stay home and just chill. What to do… it doesn’t usually happen that Jay and I are home alone together for a weekend. I think we decided to stay home though. As much as I would enjoy a weekend at a water park, I think I can forgo it. Ayden is beyond excited and cannot wait to go! He had so much fun that one weekend he spent with Jay’s aunt and uncle’s house. And he will have his buddy there to play with as well! It will definitely be a fun weekend for him!

Two more days and Spring Break will officially be starting. I am so tempted to skip a class tomorrow or Friday, but here is the dilemma I face. Can’t really skip tomorrow because I am supposed to be the discussion leader for my class then and I’m pretty sure my partner would hate me for not coming. Can’t really skip Friday because I am too afraid that I would miss a possible quiz and not get any points for it. That class just so happens to be my Hearing Science class, in which I need all of the points that I can get. I did find out today that I did better on my test than one of my classmates (well, not just any classmate, but one of the other future aud grad students so I think of as pretty smart). I’m not trying to gloat or anything, but it makes me feel a little more prepared for next fall because I thought/still think that she is a lot smarter than me.

For the second time this year I have been nominated for something by some faculty member. A month or so ago my supervisor and boss at work nominated me for ‘Student Employee of the Year’ which was an awesome thing. I was so stunned that I almost started crying when they told me. Unfortunately I received a letter last week stating that I was not chosen. That was fine, it was just an honor to be nominated. Today I received an email from my clinic supervisor from last semester saying that she nominated me for ‘Outstanding Senior’ for this year. I was beyond surprised and am so thankful that she would even consider me. I won’t deny that I am smart in some areas, but no way do I consider myself someone outstanding. There are many other students involved in much more than myself that should probably be nominated. I feel so grateful this semester.

Despite my attitude about things on Monday night… I am having a great week! I’ve decided that I need to keep a positive outlook on things and because of that my week is going good! I was really tired today after therapy and could have taken a long long nap, but I think it was my lackage of food and caffeine because after supper I am feeling much better. And tonight… I think I might be able to con Jay into making us some slushies with our new blender. I’m hoping that they are going to turn out pretty yummy!

I finally slept good last night! I fell asleep before midnight and slept fitless. I don’t remember my dreams (but haven’t been remembering them a whole lot lately), but felt good when I got up. Ayden has been consistently letting us sleep in which is good on the respect that we get to sleep in, but kind of sucky because sleeping in day after day is only leading to me getting too much sleep. At least I think so… I am sure that there are people who would never think that you could get too much sleep. There has to be people like that and if you asked me a while ago, of course I would probably have said that as well!

CIAO! LOVE ME!

Moving on Forward

Yesterday I was forced to meet with my speech supervisor and have a sit down meeting regarding my mid-term clinic grade. She literally grabbed me and pulled me into her office. Okay, so that didn't really happen, but it would have added to the drama in my life right now had it. Actually, the meeting was planned and I thought I was going to be nervous, but I totally wasn't which was great. My supervisor this year is awesome (well both supervisors that I've had for speech have been awesome) and it makes it easier for me to not be nervous. We had our little meeting and talked about my grade and my client and wouldn't you know, for the third semester in a row, my speech clinic grade has been a 100%! How great is that! And believe me, they want me to go speech down there (and by down there I am referring to our garden level (basement) clinic on campus. Sorry everyone, lol! But it does make me feel a little good that I am doing so well. I don't think I necessarily deserve an A+ as I feel I am improving all the time, but I've never done this good in anything for school yet and this is probably like the most important thing because it is taking everything that we've learned in the past four years and applying it to therapy. And to think I was nervous back in the fall!

But I think I sort of screwed myself, lol! See, I have my audiology clinic as well which is part of my speech clinic grade and I had that mid-term practical exam today. I totally got an A on it, but didn't get an A+. Wasn't expecting an A+ either, but that is okay. Only now my final practicum grade overall will not be an A+. Kind of confusing, I know, but you just might get my drift. Anyways, kind of disappoints me, but in no way compares to the horrid grade that I got on my Hearing Science test. No fear, I passed it, but not by much. Thankfully the professor is offering us half of our points back that we missed if we correct our wrong answers and is going to grade some of the other questions less drastically as well. I am hoping to come out with at least a 'B' when all is said and complete. Keeping my fingers crossed!

All in all my aud practical exam went well today. My one friend who I had asked to do it called and cancelled. She lives about 45 minutes away and the roads were pretty icy at her house and wasn't going to trek in for just that and one class. I totally understood, especially since she would be putting not only her life, but her son's at risk too. I could ask another friend. Said next friend couldn't make it either because she is pretty sick. Also, understand, but was beginning to get nervous because I didn't know who else to ask. Thankfully our ComD (Communicative Disorders) class is pretty tight and so I found another student in my class and asked her. She was able and I was/am still so appreciative of her! She did great! I know she doesn't read this, but THANKS AGAIN JORDAN!!! I could have easily asked my grad student mentor, but didn't want to do it on him because obviously he knows everything that I need to be doing in the first place. It would have just increased the anxiety/nervousness going through me. Overall it went really good and I got a 94% on it. Well I need to turn in the written part yet, but that wasn't too hard because everything was normal. I emailed my grad student (like how I lay claim to him, lol) and asked him to look over my report for me. He's great and will. And I know he doesn't read this as well, but THANKS CHAD! Speaking of aud clinic, today our second client cancelled so I got to wear jeans! I almost didn't and was dressed up and ready to go, but I got Chad's email before I left the house and quickly changed. Will save the clothes that I did have on for clinic tomorrow (which I am hoping just might get cancelled due to the high winds that they are expecting), just maybe, right? And then no clinic for a week and a half! Yeah!

Our Spring Break plans have kind of been foiled. We I really wanted to go to the Wilderness Resort in Wisconsin Dells sometime next week to enjoy some time away and enjoy their mega indoor water parks. I think it would be SO much fun! Wouldn't you know that the awesome deals that they have going on are for this week and the week AFTER Spring Break. Seriously, why would you do that? The cheapest I could find a room for next week, and I'm talking I checked every day of the week, was about $180! For ONE night!!! I had asked my sister if she wanted to join with a friend because that would cut our costs down, but adding her and her friend jacked the price to over $200! I was fine paying $100, but making her and her friend pay $50 a piece was a little expensive for one night. Plus they would have to drive all the way from GB to either our place or the Dells and then back. Needless to say, just a little disappointed. We may still hit up the water park in Wausau though. Don't know yet... I'll just be excited to have a week off.

Ayden and I totally hit up the snow piles yesterday after we got home from school. He was already soaked and sodden, so I donned some snow pants and boats and joined him in a super fun snow ball fight. We tubed a little bit, built a snow ball wall, and had just a grand old time. I don't remember when my mouth hurt so much from smiling and laughing. He always makes everything seem okay! And the fresh air definitely did him good because he slept until 8:30am this morning! That rarely happens!

Jay and I have started a new incentive thing for Ayden. We used to do this sticker chart thing and it worked really well for about six months, but we have been slacking on that a lot lately. Recently we decided that Ayden could earn money for the things he wanted because he doesn't need a toy every time we go to the store. (I'm pretty bad about that one, those $1 novelty toys suck me in.) Well, last night as we were doing some grocery shopping, I decided that I didn't think Ayden should only be doing work when he wanted a dollar. So in response to that, I bought a transformer (he picked it out) and explained to him that it was coming home with us, but we were not going to be opening it. In order for him to actually get to open the transformer, he was going to have to work for it. I thought that this might work a little better since he would be physically seeing it. I made up a sticker chart with 12 days on it and he will get a sticker for each day that he picks up his toys at the end of the day/helps around the house/etc... I explained that once the sheet was full, he would be able to open the transformer. Last night... he did great. Jay and I also decided that we are not going to use it as a punishment thing either and threaten that if he has a bad attitude/crabby/etc... that he is not going to get a sticker. It is going to be purely on what he does to help around the house. So far so good…

I totally missed NCIS tonight. It’s the first night that we are going to actually watch it on regular TV (and not just old episodes from USA), and wouldn’t you know I got the time wrong. I was all excited to see a new episode and nope, The Mentalist is on. Kind of a bummer, but oh well.

I got my hair chopped tonight and highlighted. Nothing over special or too short, but I needed a bit of a change and I am really liking it. I think next time I am going to go a little shorter and a little different with the color… maybe after graduation! It was just time for a little change and color. I haven’t gotten my hair cut since September so it needed it really bad!

Okay, this post is getting really long, so if you are still with me, enjoy the rest of your day!

CIAO! LOVE ME!

Blindsided!

I meant to post this weekend, I really did... trust me, however I didn't get around to it and then when I did finally have the time I was most certainly not in the mood to write. However before my lackage of writing happened last night, we had a pretty gosh darn good weekend!

Our drive home on Friday was fabulous... and that is because I drove, lol! I don't mind all that much driving Jay's truck and every now and then I actually even enjoy it just a bit. But don't tell him that! Anyways, practically the whole drive to Appleton there was this car who we termed a 'hoverer' (is that a word, well it is now). This car would go the same speed as me if I was going 70 or 76... seriously, once I even slowed down to almost 65 and we still couldn't lose it. It was kind of getting funny to see how they would get ahead of us and then always end up stuck back behind us farther ahead. Anyways, we get to Appleton and the car is just about to exit and wouldn't you know, we knew the driver. It was one of Ayden's old daycare teachers! It was so funny that this person who we were getting 'frustrated' with was actually someone we knew. It would be just like that to happen to us, lol!

We stopped at Jay's grandparent's house for a fish fry supper. It was some Alaskan halabit and it was pretty good. Ayden even enjoyed it! We visited for a while because Jay's aunt (from Iowa who we've seen twice in the past month, yeah us!) was home taking care of his grandma who is recovering from hip surgery. She got a new hip and is doing quite well already. She was up and moving around a bit when we were there. So, we got to visit with them for a while and then headed to Jay's parent's around bedtime for Ayden.

That pretty much constituted our Friday night, but it was nice and relaxing for us. Saturday morning Ayden got up really early and neglected to wake me up as asked. I'm guessing he was up around 5:30 because Jay said that he was up even before Jay got up at 6. I had told Ayden to wake me up when he got up because I was anticipating that it would be later and that no one would be home (they were all going to the little kids wrestling tournament). Jay decided that since his brother wasn't leaving early that he could watch Ayden and let me sleep in. Ayden decided that it was time for me to wake up at about 7:30. It was nice to sleep in a little bit because I don't know if I could have handled a 5:30 wake up call on a Saturday.

Most of Saturday was spent at my mom's house with my sister. We chilled out there and had some yummy ice cream cake! It was nice just to be able to sit with them and talk. We always have so much to talk about when we get together. I definitely appreciate the time that we get to spend together! And my sister and I get along so much better now than we did when we were younger. My brother even stopped over for a little while which was nice, but I think he just wanted the food. Lol... boys!

I think we ended up leaving around 5:30ish to come back to Point. We didn't want to get stuck in the bad weather on Sunday (and ugh did we get snow here!) and our drive back was pretty uneventful. This time Jay drove...

I had told Ayden that on the way home we could stop at Quik Trip and get him some corn dogs and Bug Juice (kind of becoming a tradition for us), however he fell asleep very quickly into our drive and Jay and I decided to let him sleep because he was really tired. I knew that we had a corn dog left at home and I could make him that one when we got home. So I put the corndog in the toaster oven... on a heat that was much too high and practically burnt the whole outside of it before realizing it. It's a good thing that we have a Quik Trip not even a block away from our apartments because I was out the door getting Ayden some after that. Lol! And he ate both of the corn dogs, and they weren't exactly little either. He must have been really starving!

For most of the day yesterday we lounged around the house. I was having a hard time really tired to get motivated to do anything. I didn't have anything that I should have been studying for, but definitely could have been reading some of my text books. I did some laundry (which has yet to be folded) and cleaned a little bit. The snow started and then Jay had to go out to work by like 7pm.

So on to the whole being blindsided thing... OMG... totally didn't see it coming. I'm not comfortable going into mega details just yet, but suffice to say that you really never truly know someone. I mean, I thought I knew this person, thought I had them figured out, but wouldn't you know that they did the one thing that could hurt me... the one thing they said over and over that I would never have to worry about. But what makes me so upset is the fact that I let it hurt me so much. I should know better than to let someone get to me that bad. I've been thinking about this situation for a while now (most of last night because I couldn't sleep) and think I have a solution. A solution that will make niether of us happy in the beginning, but one that I think we need to have in order for our lives to go on without this hanging in the middle of us. I talking about taking a step back from this friendship between my friend and I and going our separte ways for a while. I don't think that they will agree, but they need to see that this is what I need for me right now. It's not something that I want to do, but something that I think I need to do. We are in two very different places in our lives and need to concentrate on those paths seperately. I don't know what else to do. I've thought about it over and over. And I definitely know that this could back fire on me and make me miss the friendship even more, but it something that I have to at least try. I hope I am making the right choice here. It's about time I make a choice...

Okay... I am at the clinic right now and have a couple of minutes to start my reflection from my therapy session today so that is precisely what I am going to do...

CIAO! LOVE ME!

I admit… IT TOTALLY WASN’T ME!!!

Before I dive right into my great and wonderful happenings of this past week, make sure you pop on over to MckMama’s (the mastermind behind Not Me Monday) and check out everything that she (and her many followers- of which I totally am not one of) definitely didn’t do this past week! And then I suggest you write your own list of things you couldn’t possibly have done because… trust me… it is SO MUCH FUN!

This past week (well actually only yesterday) I did not bed Jay to make me an ice cream shake with our broken blender. He did not cave and say that he would make me one on the condition that we could go buy a new one. We did not trek out in the icky icky snow that we were getting only to get a blender so I could have an ice cream shake. We totally use a blender for lots and lots of stuff and not maybe only three or four times a year and so the purchase was well worth it. And the ice cream shake… definitely not worth it! It did not hit the spot!

I did not spend most of Saturday sitting at my mom’s house chit chatting with my sister while Ayden was bouncing off the walls. He did not get up BEFORE 6am on Saturday so he was not WAY over tired by the afternoon. I finally did not turn cartoons on for him so he would just sit still for five minutes. I never enjoy just sitting at talking with my mom and sister! And we didn’t have yummy yummy ice cream cake either!

I am not super glad that we decided to only stay ‘home’ for one night because we did not get almost three inches of snow yesterday. Our drive home was not great on Saturday night and most certainly would have been better Sunday night. I mean, who really wants to drive home on clean roads. That is no fun!

I do not have my audiology practicum midterm on Tuesday and I am not freaking out about it because I definitely know how to do everything and am confident in my skills. I am not planning a total cram session tomorrow afternoon where a classmate of mine is totally going to help me!

I did not tell Jay that too bad the snow didn’t come today because then my therapy session would most likely have been cancelled. I am not looking forward to having a week and a half off from therapy and writing lesson plans and reflections. I am not counting the days until I can focus solely on audiology… it is not 67 days until graduation!

I did not type in this years graduation date in one of those online countdown thingys with the year 2013 to see how many days until I am done with grad school (hypothetically)… it is not over 1500 days!!! I am not wishing that time to go faster and faster! Wait… that’s for real. I do not want Ayden to be 8 years old already!!!

My mom did not say that she is planning a vacation in five years to some place warm. I did not say that she HAD to bring me with her. I did not figure that it was probably going to cost me the most to go as it will most likely be me, Jay, and Ayden. That, unless my sister or brother hook up with someone and have a kid in-between now and then and want to bring them, lol!

Oh, and speaking of vacations, my sister did not inform me that my dad is planning one for April to someplace warm… and not taking me… I am not just a little sad, especially since he did not just go to Vegas after Christmas. He totally doesn’t deserve these trips because he hasn’t been working hard for SO many years now. Okay, so he totally does deserve them, I just wish I could go along.

I’m sure you did not do lots of things this past week either… what are they?

CIAO! LOVE ME!

Fab Friday... AGAIN!

It's Friday afternoon and we are about to head out of the door to go to Jay's parent's house. Okay, so I lie... I am writing this at 1pm and we aren't leaving until about 3pm, but you know what I mean. We will most likely be gone until sometime tomorrow night. I'm kind of excited to get away for another weekend. Gets my mind off of things and I get to visit with my mommy. Yes, that is right... I totally just called her my mommy. We haven't seen her in a few weeks and the last couple of times that we were there we didn't get to stay for very long because she had to work in the early afternoon. She doesn't have to work tomorrow so Ayden and I are planning on spending the majority of the day there. My sister will be there as well, and possibly my brother and his girlfriend. My brother is supposed to be at my dad's for the weekend, but since my sister and I will be visiting my mom, I told him that he should come over too. Who knows if he will and he will most likely annoy me while he is there, but I thought I should invite him. Lol! My 'little' brother is probably a good six inches taller than me.

Anyways, I will probably be back tomorrow night... or sometime Sunday. Hope everyone has a STELLAR weekend!!!

CIAO! LOVE ME!

Putting up a facade...

It's what I tend to do best... and honestly, I'm not all that good at it, at least around Jay. Most of the time I can get everyone around me to believe that everything is great, when I'm full of turmoil and indecisiveness on the inside. It's not hard to paste that fake smile on your face and keep the conversation platonic and friendly. Discussing things that have no real emotional value. How simple it is to keep the conversation off yourself and turned onto others. I do it all the time. One of the plusses about my blog, I can talk about myself all I want, yet I purposely avoid the issues that I most want to talk about. However... I think I have to be honest with myself first and I'm having a hard time with that right now.

I'm feeling very undeserving of many things in my life right now. It has turned into one of those kinds of week. On the surface everything is going well. I had two GREAT therapy sessions this week and easy write-ups afterwards. The weather has been great (supposed to get up to almost 50 degress today!). I even got to sleep in until 8am this morning! It was like the weekend for me and I half woke up thinking it was! It's not even that things just this week have been going well... things in general have been going well. I am graduating this May! I got into grad school! I have the world's most wonderful little boy as my son (of course I'm bias!)! I have a great guy to call my boyfriend who would do anything for me! I have great friends who care about me!

LATER… I feel like I have so much more to add to this, but my ‘writing’ mood has diminished throughout the day and I am going to settle down in bed and enjoy an episode of ER and rejoice that tomorrow is FRIDAY! I need to reflect on a lot of things going on in my life right now… but I am very grateful for all of it because without it I wouldn’t be who I am, right? Am I’m at least partially satisfied with the person I am, for now…

I know… call me crazy… I do!

CIAO! LOVE ME!

Makeover Time!

It was definitely time for another blog makeover and I have to give a shout out to my cousin Amanda because she gave me some tips for some background stuff that I was trying to do and didn’t know how. Thanks Amanda!!! Your tips worked out great!

My therapy session went really well again today! Two for two this week… and we didn’t even get through three of the activities so now I have stuff planned for Monday already! So excited! That means a very short time tomorrow night spent writing up my lesson plan… and more time to finish my music assignment that I have started, but have yet to finish, lol!

I am so excited that tomorrow is Thursday, I get to wear jeans! It is sad when you get excited about wearing jeans, right?! ‘Cept that I love being able to wear what I want to wear when I want to wear it. Speaking of jeans, my aud supervisor totally wore jeans to clinic on Tuesday. Sure they were a little more dressy jeans, but they were JEANS!!! I thought that they couldn’t do that, but apparently they can. She didn’t look really any less professional, but I was just surprised. Plus, she is the teacher, she can probably do whatever she wants as well.

We will hopefully be getting our sociology tests back tomorrow. I am excited to see how I did because I am thinking that I did pretty well. I am also ahead in that class and have read and taken notes for the two discussion articles that I have for next week. Okay, so I have about a half of an article left yet, but hey… it’s probably the most work that I have done for that class since the beginning of the semester and we are already about half way through. One more week… and then SPRING BREAK! Not that we are going anywhere or anything though.

This afternoon after I picked up Ayden from school we went to Penney’s and bought my mom her birthday present. I let Ayden pick out a special necklace for her from him. It is really pretty and denotes something about being a grandma. I think that she will really like it. And he had fun picking it out and putting it on the counter for the lady to ring up. And then when we got home he wrapped her gifts all by himself! It was too cute!

The weather was great today! Now it just needs to stay this warm/or warmer until summer and I could definitely deal with that. It is supposed to be relatively warm for the rest of the week (at least I think so) and then some icky weather on Saturday. I think Jay said that he wanted to come back to Point on Saturday in case he had to work and would rather drive as the bad weather is beginning and not as it is ending on Sunday. Probably a good idea if there is a chance that it could freeze. We’ve already had one experience this winter with a bad icy drive home… don’t think I want to repeat it!

CIAO! LOVE ME!