Goodbye My Friend

*If you’ve been reading any of my more recent posts, you will know that I’ve been having some friend difficulties. Last night was the culmination of the last two weeks and I think I’ve come to what was best. My friend and I have decided that it would probably be best if we ‘backed down the intensity’ of our friendship for the sake of the other’s life/current situation. It would be best. What my friend does not know is that I’m saying goodbye. I can no longer do this… it is probably one of the hardest things I’ve had to do in a long time, but it’s for the best. Below is what I’d say if I cared enough to say it. Read on if you’d like… or not. Your choice and my blog…

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Dearest Friend,

I looked up forever and always in the dictionary, here is what I found. Forever: without ever ending; eternally: to last forever. Always: every time; on every occasion; without exception. Those are the precise words you used when you promised to be my friend. I know that promises are broken and life goes on, but with you I thought it was different.

I am serious when I say I want nothing more to rewind the last four years so I can never get in touch with you again because then it wouldn’t hurt so much. I want to erase all of the memories, the good times, everything… because then I wouldn’t dwell on them so much.

But you just don’t get it… do you? I fought for you. I fought for our friendship. I told everyone that you had changed… you were not the person that I first was introduced to. When we started talking again things were different and I thought you’d grown so much in the last four years. But the sad thing is, you haven’t, that is clear to me now. When it comes to your own agenda, you don’t care about those around you. You do what you want no matter what. The people around me were right, you are no different. I tried and tried to believe that you were, but I can’t anymore.

It’s ironic how we were just having a discussion about renewing our friendship with no restrictions. It’s how you wanted it to be and then you decide that it’d be best if we ‘backed down the intensity’ so someone else would be happy. Talk about turning the whole situation around so it suits your needs. But I can’t do that. I’m sorry… but this is goodbye. If you still want to be friends, its you that will have to put effort into it. I will not be putting any effort into it.

Oh how I want to, how I want things to be ‘normal’ again, but it hurts too much. The lies hurt. I never imagined that things could change so drastically in only two weeks, but I should have known that with you of course it can and will. I trusted you, I opened myself up to you, I was vulnerable. It took a lot for me to do that… I will never do that again, not with you…

Today marks the day where I say goodbye to what once was and will never be again. Today marks the day where I build up that wall again and move on with my life.

…Goodbye my friend.

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On a lighter note… we got snow last night. Probably an inch. Wait, I said lighter note didn’t it (and who really thinks snow in Spring is a lighter note?), but wait for it, wait for it… it is supposed to get up to 50 degrees today. Do you know what that means?! The snow WILL melt! And we are headed off to Wild Air with my sisters today! So excited! I will be sure to take lots of pictures and post some up when we get back.

I hope everyone has a stellar weekend!

CIAO! LOVE ME!