Neglegant Boyfriend

Jack- Really all I want to do is take Jay's computer and smash it to pieces! And his phone as well. When does it come to the point when you can classify your boyfriend as neglegant?! Seriously, I'm sick of this and almost started crying about it last night. Jay has this stupid computer game that he plays ALL the time. Pretty much from the moment he gets home until 3AM! Yes, you read that right, 3AM! It didn't start out this bad... when he first got it he would play for like two hours a night, but then it got so bad that he moved his computer from our bedroom to the kitchen so he wouldn't keep me awake at night. Even after that he didn't play it as long, maybe until 11pm or so. Well slowly it became increasingly more and more. And now I am fucking sick of it! Okay, not that that wasn't bad enough, recently he met some people on this game (it's one you play online and can chat to people with) and one in particular is a girl. Well... don't get all hyped up yet, she lives in Washington, is married, and has a son. So, I'm not upset that they are talking because I know that I don't have anything to worry about. The other day Jay's phone was sitting next to me on the table next to the couch so just being stupid I picked it up and went through the recieved and dialed calls and came upon a number that I didn't know and of which Jay had talked to for like a half hour at 1AM. And this wasn't the first time. So I asked him who the number was because I feared it was a different 'her' that he wasn't telling me about. And if that was the case, well then all hell would have been released. But that is another story that I don't want to get into right now. In any case, he told me it was the chick from his game and she was thinking about going back to school and had some questions and what not. Okay, I was fine with that, whatever I didn't care. Well being the snoopy girlfriend that I am, I secretly checked his phone the next day and what did I find... that the night before he spent 4 HOURS talking to her after I went to bed. 4 HOURS! What could he talk to her about for four hours that he couldn't talk to me about? Seriously, like that really bugged me. Maybe it's partly the fact that she is a girl, but I think most of it is the fact that he just isn't spending that time with me, or for that matter with Ayden.

So, me being the person that I am, I avoid conflict and don't tell the guy. I try to just ignore it, afterall when he comes to bed at 3am it means I get the bed to myself all the hours before that and I don't have to fend off unwanted advances. In any case, I really don't like confrontation and well tend to keep my feelings bottled up (here is my exception) and then they build up. I consciously decided that if he was going to neglect me, I'd neglect him. Not really fair, I know, but still.

This morning Ayden got up before Jay had to leave for work and of course it was me who got up with him. Jay never gets up with Ayden and comes out into the living. In fact, every morning when we all leave at the same time, it's me getting up to get ready and getting Ayden up and ready while Jay stays in bed until 10 minutes before we have to leave. Just enough time to get himself ready. Honestly, why couldn't he just help out a little. Why do I always have to ask him to get Ayden up or ask him to get Ayden some chocolate milk. Can't he take any initiative to do it himself?! Back to this morning... I purposely was short in my answers to Jay and obviously he picked up that I was irritated about something. He's not super dense all of the time. I told him that I didn't want to talk about it right now. Why should I have to be the one to tell him that he's being such a dumb ass and neglecting me? And it's not as if I want to limit his time on the game. I want him to stop playing it so much of his own free will. But like when would that happen? We didn't get into an all out arguement about it, but needless to say he left for work pretty pissed off. Too bad, huh, I don't really care right now.

Sometimes I really wonder where this relationship is going. It's saddening to even write, but it's the truth. This isn't the first thing to come between us and I'm sure it won't be the last, but it sure as well is irritating me. And maybe it's just a guy thing, who knows? Although, there comes a point where it's grow the fuck up! Seriously, get off your fucking computer and play with your son. I give him props for working more than me and bringing in more money, but that doesn't give you the right to come home and sit on your computer for the rest of the night, does it? Am I expecting too much or being too demanding? Not everyone is perfect, I get that, even I have my faults... I just don't know anymore...

-Ashley :(