One More Try

I've filled numerous journals in my life, however since the birth of my son, Ayden, almost four years ago, I haven't been able to keep at this journaling thing for quite sometime. Maybe I should call it 'blogging' now. I've started journals and they've lasted for maybe a month. I even started a blog back around Christmas and that lasted for a who month or so as well. So here is yet another attempt at starting one. They used to be very theraputic for me so hence forth starting a new one. Actually, I've been debating the idea for a few weeks now. I even checked Barnesandnoble.com for their journals and looked at what Walmart had, but I could not justify buying a new one when I knew I had two sitting at home that I could fill. So, my cousin, Amanda, just started up her blog and it gave me renewed faith that maybe I could keep one for me. At least that way when I am 'nosy' reading her's, she have something to read as well. And I know how much I enjoy reading other people's blogs (there are a few that I follow) so maybe some people would enjoy reading the happenings of my life. Not that I really have anything interesting to write about anyways. And maybe no one will even seen this, but in any case, it will give me some outlet. It helps, it truly does, at least for me.

In any case, here goes yet another attempt at starting one. Usually, I start out each entry writing to 'Jack'. I made Jack up gosh knows how many years ago. Back in like the 7th or 8th grade. And he didn't even start out as my person to write to, just as some stupid childish game/joke. But somehow when I started my first journal in the 9th grade he is who I wrote to. I don't know, I'm crazy like that, but maybe he is sort of like a higher person for me. Not so much as like a 'God figure' but just someone who will listen and care. As for religion, I am not very religious, but I do believe in God. After all that has happened in my life, and it's not even bad stuff per say, I have to believe that there is someone out there who has control over it all. And despite my lackage of going to church and what not, I trust that no matter what happens in life, everything will be okay.

So, don't know where that came from. I do have to say that normally my first writings are usually one of the longest. I have so much to write about because I haven't written in like FOREVER! I'll skip some of the background history right now and just delve into my day thus far. Today is the first day of May, sounds like a good day to start a new journal, eh? Anyways, I did a favor for one of my ComD girlies today and met with a friend of her's who is graduating with a Psych major in a few weeks. This friend needed to listen to a stranger's 'venting' for 50 minutes as part of her practicum or whatever so I agreed to. I knew of a few things that I could vent about, but I did not think that I would be able to talk for 50 minutes nor that it would feel so good. I also didn't know that some issues would come up that I didn't even think really bothered me. Well I found out that they did because I burst out in tears. So fastfoward through the 50 minutes and I walked out of there feeling pretty good about a lot of the things that I got off my chest. It was crazy weird to tell a stranger about everything in my life, but she really made me feel comfortable about it.

The end of the semester is approaching soon and I cannot wait for it to be done. I need this summer's break to chill and hang out with Ayden. I always feel so bad when I have to do homework and he wants to play. I told him we would go to the 'big blue park' today when I picked him up from daycare today if it wasn't raining. Hopefully the rain holds off because he was really excited about it and it looks like we will be spending most of this weekend inside because of the weather. Stupid weather! At least it will give me an excuse to get all of my projects done. And maybe even start studying for finals. Yeah, right! That won't happen until next Thursday at the earliest!

Okay, enough babbling now. Maybe I will get some more in tonight and divulge a little information about my life. After all, if you have no idea who I even am, how would you know who Ayden is? Exactly... ciao for now!

-Ashley :)